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Anonymous
Friendship Over? Angry. 2016-07-19 14:54:28 Post No. 17372338
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Friendship Over? Angry. 2016-07-19 14:54:28 Post No. 17372338
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I have been close friends with a female friend for about 5 years.
>same class in school for several years.
>going out to eat, bike tours, etc.
>talk personal things.
When she graduated, she moved into another town and our communication petered out. One year after that i happened to move to a town very close to hers.
I wanted to meet-up as friends and catch-up.
>But every time i reestablished contact, and invited her over (even just skyping), she always found a reason not to come (party, friends, study...).
>She always told me to come to her place (neither makes a big difference, we live only 45min apart). Then contact stopped. And every time i tried to get in touch, the same happened.
>NEVER did she contact me and ask me how i was.
A few weeks ago, i had business in her town and told her that i would be in town. Told her a few days beforehand.
>she wrote she'd see.
>me looking forward to it
>the nights before we had wrote quite a bit.
>one night before she suddenly says 'she cannot' - 'don't be angry - smily'
>doesn't give any reason
>had already adjusted my week accordingly before hand.
>This pissed me off a lot.
Apart from her behaviour being very disrespectful and impolite in my opinion.
Friendships are important to me. And i would put aside a few hours any time a friend came over, no matter the circumstances.
I know we are both busy with our own studies. I am more restricted due the structure of my study (very frequent exams).
>But not finding a single day in an entire year while living basically next to one another is not ok to me.
The only time in the entire year we skyped she cut off after 45min because she was called to eat. When we talked it was like old times.
I am now at the point where i just won't contact her anymore. I am tired of her not seeming to care about/actively dismissing a long friendship.
And only me contacting her. And her being so unreliable and unresponsive.
>What should i do?
>Just consider the friendship dead?
>Experiences?
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>>17372338
This again?
M O V E O N
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>>17372338
you two already are not still friends. stop chasing it
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>>17372338
This is the harsh cruel world we live in man it really is and by god does it suck. I'm 22 now and it really hurts me knowing that a lot of people I considered friends in high school are now just memories.
But this is what you have to come to terms with, not everyone in your life is here to stay forever, some are just passengers in your life and you in theirs.
But don't resent her for it, it doesn't sound like she's actively trying to end the friendship more that she's just thinking "Oh I'll catch him next time" or "I can meet up within the next couple of weeks or so." but without knowledge you two or slowly drifting apart.
This is how I used to think when I left high school and many of my good friends from then I hardly ever speak to anymore, although I've made plenty of new ones it still hurts to think about what could've been.
Anyway what I'm saying is man just let her know that you did consider your friendship special and although you've gone your separate paths in life you wish to retain that friendship. Hopefully she will get the message.
If not, you just keep living.
>One of the best pieces of advice I have ever been given is "Everything happens for a reason, when one door closes another one opens."
Peace.
>>
>>17372368
Thanks for the advice mate.
This is not the first time i have 'lost friends to time'. Even in secondary school i had friends whom i lost due to them changing school, moving, etc.
Although I don't like it, that is how friendships work and i get that.
It has just never happened to me that somebody who essentially lives 45min away (essentially on the other side of town) just looses interest for no apparent reason.
I hold friendships close and usually try to keep in touch with people I used to spend a lot of time with.
>once a month
>what's up?
But what annoys me more though is the way she cancelled our last meeting. To me, cancelling a meeting the night before at 10pm without giving any type of reason (just a smily) is very rude to me.
>people have unexpected events in their lives.
But not:
>bailing without giving any reason
>not finding time for a 'friend' on 6 occasions in a year.
>somehow have to come to terms with her not seeing this friendship the way I saw it probably.
>>
>>17372338
just ask her straight up. Do you want to be my friend anymore? If she says no then you have your answer and therefor no reason to continue
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>>17372476
>Hey. You never seem to find the time to meet at all, although we live like 45min apart.
>looks to me like you just don't wanna hang out anymore.
a) needy as fuck
b) creepy as fuck
c) in case it comes to a meeting after that, it is going to be awkward as fuck
>Who does this?
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