Beat my gf

>>17370804
What are you wanting advice on exactly? You used unnecessary force and you will get into trouble.

Part 2

> She's away for 2 days
> Returns, but again, she's escorted - I ask to talk
> I don't know what I'm feeling, I feel remorse, but I'm still angry. She's confused and terrified
> I agree to leave bangkok. I return to Australia
> About a month later she messages me asking if I miss her
> I do. My life has been pretty shitty since I left bangkok. I've lost a lot of friends, my parents are on the verge of disowning me, my sister refuses to speak to me, etc
> She says her parents won't easily forget, but If I want to work it out, I need to go and see her Dad
> I agree and see him
> It's as awkward as you could imagine.
> In the end he says that he can forgive me, but he needs to confident I've changed, I agree with him that anger management and therapy would be a good step
> I complete a 12 week anger management program. Seems pointless. But whatever.
> GF and I in contact - email and skype throughout my time away
> Finally head back to Bangkok
> Things go well for about a year, but she's not happy in her job. The school isn't what she thought it was - she wants to return home
> We come home. She confesses she's disenchanted with teaching. She doens't want to do it anymore
> I pull some strings, get her a job in my family business.
> The business is located in a remote region of my state, but it's quite beautiful - close to the ocean, etc
> We both work together. I'm pretty happy. Things seem really great.
> A few months later overhear her one night on the phone to her sister talking about how she's had a job interview with one of the schools here about getting a teaching position - and how they can provide her with accomodation
> Realise it's all been a ruse. She's planning on leaving me, used me as a way to get a fresh start.
> Again, same feelings of indignation surface. I was happy in our city, I moved, like we moved to Bangkok, for her. She wanted a change. I made it happen.
> I confront her. She admits to everything.

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>>17370804
Wtf op? You didn't just slap her, you broke her face and still act righteously?

You either run back to Australia or stay to enjoy the Thai prison system. Make sure you get caught with some opium or cocaine so they can shoot you.

Or do the world a favor..., an hero

Faggot.

Part 3

> I don't strike her. I don't hit her.
> I choke her.
> She blacks out.
> Comes to - fleas to my parents' house just across town
> Dad comes over in the morning. Gives me keys to a car, tells me to head to my parents' holiday house about 4 hours' drive away
> I go. I stay. I live there for a couple weeks until the police come to interview me. I admit to what I did. They ask about Bangkok, but since no police report was given and no charges were brought there, there's no evidence of a previous assault.
> I head back to the city for court.
> Get a common assault charge, fined $1,500.
> pay fine. Relocate back to the city. As far as I know she's still there teaching
> Have met plenty of women since, dated plenty. No similar types of anger or aggression issues. Have had plenty of previous long term partners too - no violence issues.
> I know it's a "me" problem. But is this an exclusive behaviour towards her - like something she inspires in me? Or is it deeper?

>>17370838
Settle you Cuck. When a woman tells you she's being honest with you, and based on that perceived relationship, you make huge, life changing decisions, and then you find out it was a lie, that you were manipulated... there's going to be repercussions. If you can't handle that - don't fuck with people

>>17370843
I mean you could find out when another woman does something similar to you. Then you should consider not dating anymore to avoid jail and just bang whore for the rest of your life.

>>17370861
Yeah, but I don't want to take that chance. It's hard. If I risk that kind of intimacy again, there's always a chance that sort of anger could resurface. And I'm not going to jail for what would amount to damaging some lying bitch. Now before all the white knights come waddling in to label me a woman hater - I'm not. I would react the same way if a close friend had lied to me and manipulated me into making a decision to serve their best interests instead of my own.

>>17370843
> I know it's a "me" problem. But is this an exclusive behaviour towards her - like something she inspires in me? Or is it deeper?
No, OP, it's not something that's exclusive towards her. Anyone that's capable of what you've done, and based on what little remorse is shown in >>17370858 proves that you have something wrong with you. Everyone gets the feeling at some point, but the difference is that normal people don't take action. You even say that anger management seemed pointless, but that's because you don't think you have any real issues.

>>17370870
>I would react the same way if a close friend had lied to me and manipulated me into making a decision to serve their best interests instead of my own.
Then you have your answer. You can either take the risk and get close to people, while realizing that you have issues that need to be fixed, or you can go live a lonely life.

>>17370871
I found the anger management pointless because it was just a generic, group anger management. I don't know if one-on-one cognitive therapy would have the same outcome. I probably should have clarified

>>17370875
Yeah, I see that side of it. But do I have issues, or do people who manipulate and lie and take advantage of other people have issues? My ïssue" is how I handle other people's ïssues." I'm not an indiscriminant psycho with anger issues. It's cause and effect. I'm willing to shoulder my portion of the responsibility, but I don't see her taking - how not to be a lying cunt classes

>>17370870

then your problem is that you're violent

there's better ways to get revenge, if they can manipulate and fuck with you, you beating them up just brings you more trouble, in the long term she ended up losing nothing, right?

and what you have is an assault charge on your criminal record

>>17370896
>But do I have issues, or do people who manipulate and lie and take advantage of other people have issues?
It's not one or the other. You BOTH have issues, OP. They have issues because they're self-serving narcissists. You have issues for other unknown reasons. Both parties need to seek help.

>I'm not an indiscriminant psycho with anger issues. It's cause and effect.
You sound a creepy amount like my dad with the way you rationalize your behavior. He's a high functioning sociopath (ASPD with severe narcissism). Personal responsibility is a hard thing for him too.

>>17370902
I don't know if I agree with the assessment that I'm a violent person. I've used violence against one individual, as opposed to the dozens I employ, 100's I work with, 1000's that I know. I don't use it to threaten or intimidate. I'm in my late 20's. Two instances of Violence doesn't a violent man make.

And she didn't lose nothing - permanent nerve damage to her left eye and a perforated ear drum that never properly healed.

>>17370910
Good for your Dad. I'm sure you heap a ton of your personal issues on him because responsibility is hard for you to swallow.

I'm not looking to justify what I did - I merely explained the course of events as they happened. I don't need to make excuses for it, because I'm not ashamed about it. What I needed to know, or am seeking insight on is - is this a one off? I've never assault anyone before this. Never assaulted anyone since. It's been around 14 months.

>>17370912
>I've used violence against one individual
If you had harmed her just once, I'd be a little more understanding. You hurt her twice, and the second time you did it in a way that would make it difficult to prove (but it's also more serious due to the possible brain damage). You are a violent person.

>>17370926
>I'm sure you heap a ton of your personal issues on him because responsibility is hard for you to swallow.

I don't know why you're attacking me when you don't even know my relationship with him, but again, that's your inability to hold yourself accountable. It's always someone elses fault, right? Deflection. I'm trying to give you some insight because you sound just like him and you've had similar instances of violence.

>>17370931
Difficult to prove? I admitted to it as soon as I was asked. I only didn't hit her because last time it seriously fucked my hands up. There was no "pre-meditation"or attempt to get away with anything.

So once is fine, but twice is over the line? Just think about that for a second.

What if I killed her the first time? Would I not be violent because it was just a once off?

>>17370912

you don't have to beat the shit out of a lot of people to be considered a violent man, it's because you went straight for the physical option instead of staying your hand and figuring out a different way to deal with the situation at hand

obviously this is all subjective, but I find that violence is only the answer when you want to humiliate someone as punishment, I don't find that getting your ass beaten by a man (if one is a woman) is humiliating, it's more inviting of empathy for her than anything else, regardless of what grief she has caused you, if she speaks of you to other people they'll think of you as a woman-beating brute rather than a man who committed an act of revenge in righteous anger

I dunno, I just think that violence is a tool for very specific situations and this wasn't one of them

you should maybe go to not only one-on-one anger management sessions but see a psychiatrist who can refer you to someone who can help you work through these issues

you're not a bad man, I don't think, I think you just used terribly poor judgement and tarnished your name while making her a victim, this is a world where emotional pain is not regarded in the same manner as physical

>>17370939
You're projecting your baggage with your Dad onto my situation. Your advice is shitty and tainted and worthless

>>17370943
No, I agree. But is "not a lot of people" just one? Is someone who drinks and drives twice, when they drive everyday for the last, say, 15 years, an alcoholic?

It's convenient and child-like reasoning. It's the oversimplification of a more complex question. People are just stupid.

>>17370941
>I admitted to it as soon as I was asked.
I must've missed that part, my mistake.

>I only didn't hit her because last time it seriously fucked my hands up.
Classy.

>What if I killed her the first time? Would I not be violent because it was just a once off?
There's a world of difference between assault and murder. If you had murdered once, of course you'd be seen as violent.

>So once is fine, but twice is over the line?
I've seen people crack just the once, usually from an amalgamation of things (bad situation, external stresses, etc.) and then they're fine. Never touch another person for as long as they live. But more than once, and you start to establish a pattern.

>>17370945
>You're projecting your baggage with your Dad onto my situation.
I'm not because I know you're still very different people in different situations. I haven't seen him in person since I was little, but my past has led me to seek out and help people like him. I'm reading into your posts, which tell me that you A) feel little to no remorse, B) don't believe you have issues that need to be worked on, and C) you don't hold yourself accountable. If you held yourself accountable, you wouldn't bring up actions and consequences. You wouldn't make excuses for your actions. That's textbook narcissism.

>>17370970
I appreciate where you're coming from and for what it's worth, I'm sorry you didn't have a good father role model.

I'm narcissistic. No question. But I accept responsibility. I spoke to family, my family, my friends, her friends, her sister and grandparents. I didn't run away and pretend it didn't happen. I think you're trying to fit me into a profile and while I'm no doubt on some spectrum, I'm not on the one you're trying to do the mental gymnastics to make stick.

>>17370950

I think that's enough to be considered violent, I mean I didn't care at the time, but I once snapped in school and started cracking into a guy's head with a chair, I felt justified in having hurt him badly but thinking back on it I was treated and thought of differently after that, I don't feel guilty for having done it but it is objectively bad and snapping or not ever doing it again doesn't change the fact that you did it, it's somewhere deep inside you and it can be triggered by different things, betrayal (or whatever you want to call it) was the thing for you, disrespect and lack of common decency to me is what triggers violence in me (I think so anyway because another occasion about a year ago in which I nearly bottled someone was fueled by similar feelings)

like I said, it's all subjective, you can find yourself not to be violent and that's fine with me, but if you're worried or suspect it might be more than just that one specific person you should go see a professional who can direct you to someone who can get to the bottom of this

>>17370979
>I didn't run away and pretend it didn't happen.
It's not necessarily about running away, but believing that these actions are justified because of another person's. "If she didn't do X, I wouldn't have done Y. But she did, so my actions are justified." Instead of distancing yourself from this person immediately, you took the violent approach. Was it for punishment? An intense emotional release?

>I'm not on the one you're trying to do the mental gymnastics to make stick.
I'm trying to go by what little info we've been given here. We don't know specifics, which is why talking to someone regularly, in person, would be beneficial.

>>17371004
My main concern is, it's a scary thing to find yourself acting out of character. You're an adult. You spend your life believing how'd you conduct yourself in various hypothetical you never hope you find yourself in. Then one day - you do. And you act so radically out of character that you're scared of what you may be capable of.

That's what keeps me up at night

>>17371021
I believe they were an overreaction. I've not since replicated those actions, and I hope to never again. I'm not looking for an excuse to be violent or pin my behaviour on anyone else. I acknowledged it's a "me" problem. I've told everyone who's ever played a significant role in my life what happened. I own it. But I'm not ashamed of it.

>>17371035

then that fear should be enough to explore it further, man, like I said, it's good to talk to someone about it, I don't know what the situation with psychiatry is in Australia but here in the UK I've had the opportunity to explore the causes and effects of the things I do and I'm happy that these people don't infantilise internal struggle and questionable actions and don't treat you as a moron but rather help you explore your mind and find answers for this kind of stuff, if you don't want to go straight for a shrink or whatever there are charities that can sort out counselling and shit and help you figure out what you want to know and how to cope with this uncertainty, if you just keep going over it in your head and thinking about it from your own individual and biased perspective it can lead you down a dark path

reach out for help, man, I don't know who you are but you can figure it out, there's so much you can do, it's worth it

>>17371046
>But I'm not ashamed of it.
You really should be.

To answer your question,
> I know it's a "me" problem. But is this an exclusive behaviour towards her - like something she inspires in me? Or is it deeper?
Given that you did it twice, months apart, the second time having recently completed an anger management program, and also given that you clearly don't feel a fraction of the guilt and shame that you should be feeling right now, I feel pretty confident in telling you that there's something seriously wrong with you. I would seriously discourage any woman I cared about from dating you and I would never allow you around my family, god forbid my children. I don't care how you feel, it's pretty fucking unlikely that your ex is literally the one and only person on the face of the earth who can provoke that kind of behavior from you. You're dangerous, impulsive and untrustworthy and you have a problem with admitting fault.

What you do about that is your business. If you want to fix it then you're definitely going to need more professional help.

>>17370804
>>17370843

Jesus Christ, man. In both of the incidents you described, you could've killed her. It's not like you just hit her, you beat her until you BROKE her skull. You choked her until she stopped moving. You could've crushed her windpipe.

In America, that wouldn't just be assault or abuse. Both of those incidents would be called attempted murder. And rightfully so. You really could've killed her. It's insane to me that you've basically gotten away with it without even spending time in jail.

>>17371185
He's extremely lucky, both that this happened in a country with an absolutely broken criminal justice system and that her family's not as vindictive as some. Forget jail, he could easily be dead right now.

>>17371199

I know girls get Stockholm'd in abusive relationships, but I can't believe the girl's father was enough of a coward to forgive him and let it go and allow his daughter to keep seeing OP.

OP, you really are a piece of shit. I don't care to give you advice, I just think you should be in prison

I'm honestly surprised her father hasn't killed you yet as you savage harmed her not once or twice. Yeah, she's a manipulating ho, but no need to cause that much physical harm to her. If I was the dad, you'd either be in prison or dead

For the sake of yourself and others, it's best you stay a single man, forever

>>17370887
Then take it because normal people don't react that way. I can understand getting so upset you'd hit someone but you seem to have almost killed her over being lied to.

Like, holy shit dude.

>>17371147

I should be ashamed according to your moral compass. Thanks, but who you are and what you believe are as insignificant as you are.

Good job raising a bunch of cuck kids who'll be walked over their entire lives.

>>17371185
Nice understanding of law... for it to be attempted murder - there has to be intent. Thanks for playing, though. Fucking idiots.

>>17371199
The first incident had no chance of going anywhere. Thailand is corrupt. If you have money, there's no such thing as justice.

The second incident both she and her family pushed for jail. The reason I never went to prison? In the judges own words - since I employ so many people who would likely lose their jobs if I were incarcerated - there's more social harm than benefit to locking me away.

Suck it.

>>17371219
Killing me for beating your daughter? As much an overreaction as me beating your daughter for lying?

Nice job, hypocrite.

>>17371233
It wasn't just a lie. A lie with no consequences is fine. Moving continent. Setting up a remote business. Getting financials in order to operate overseas, etc. I invested nearly 100k in the move. It wasn't just a lie, you fucking children.

>>17371410
This post sums up your issue in a nutshell. Read over what you wrote and reflect cause the writing is on the wall. My only question is, why ask for advice of you arent going to take it on board?

>>17370804
>>17370830
If you were going to go this far you might as well should've raped her

>>17371618

Because I already made peace with what happened. I wasn't asking for advice regarding that. Actually, made peace is probably generous as it implies I had to come to terms with something. I accepted what I did. I don't care. I felt, and still feel it was warranted. I wasn't asking for comment regarding that - it was exclusively context. What I ask for, is moving forward - beyond from this, other relationships, etc. The people in here, you included, are obviously too dense to see this.

Read your own posts and the posts of the ones I replied to. None are in regards to what I asked, all are worthless, self-indulgent commentary.

Good job...

>>17371622
Hate, anger, physical violence just aren't linked sexually for me. It also wasn't about domination or humiliation. It was purely heat of the moment - anger manifested physically. Nothing more.

>>17371626
Suit yourself. That was my first post but the people here gave you advice cause they identified it as a problem which was fine it seems till you felt you were being judged, then you lashed out. They also did it because by addressing this it may help you look forward as you originally intended to want help on.

Even from just a posting standpoinylt I can see you dont take fault or critic lightly and are aggressive. Still though, fair dues being as succesful as you are in your company.

>>17371651
Well if it's your first post then I apologise. I thought you'd have interjected before. But my point stands. I agree there was some helpful advice posted. Particularly one Anon. The rest, though, it just seems a circle jerk of perceived moral superiority. The difference is, I don't see the world the way they do. And neither do most of the people in this world who actually make it turn.

The reality is this - I asked her in the beginning of the relationship a very, very serious question. Total deal breaker for me. She lied to my face. I then trusted her. Invested in her, and us. Spent a fortune moving country (close to 100,000 just think about that figure for a minute) to help her pursue her dreams. I discovered she lied. I lost it. I Hurt her. I left. She contacted me. We made amends. Moved back home. She used me, my family and the company's free accommodation and vehicle to go behind everyone's back, not just mine, to pursue her own interests yet again. Instead of ending it with me, she continued to play the charade until she was formally offered another job so she could leave.

The way I see it - killing her would have been justified. The only thing that stopped me choking the life from her manipulative, parasitic body, was that a trade of her life for mine, which I'd be looking at since I'd get at least 15 years, simply isn't worth it.

Here's the thing. She is not the only one capable of causing these feelings in you. She is simply the only one so far who HAS. Huge difference. You need to go see someone one on one. And you need to do it seriously. None of this generic twelve week crap you wouldn't care about anyway. You need to see a professional. You need to be completely honest with them. Most importantly, you need to listen to them. Because as you are now you're a time bomb just waiting for the next person to push you to that point.

>>17370870
>I would react the same way if a close friend had lied to me and manipulated me....


You even admit right here you are capable of doing this to more than just your ex. This combined with how you feel justified for your actions, and your reactions to everyone else in this thread show that you really do have deeply seated issues.

wtf is the advice here?
youre just looking for validation on domestic violence
its not gonna happen so fuck off

>>17370843
>Get a common assault charge, fined $1,500
wtf? is this a troll? ONLY A FUCKING 1500 $ FOR CHOKING SOMEONE? OMFG YOU SHOULD BE IN FUCKING JAIL FOR SOME GOOD YEARS SCUM

seriously wtf is wrong with that sentence? OMFG

>>17370843
> I don't strike her. I don't hit her.
> I choke her.
> She blacks out.

Wtf man? Better be an hero and leave this world or see a psychiatrist who can prescibe some Invega for you

lmao OP is the ultimate edgelord

>>17370912

>I don't know if I agree with the assessment that I'm a violent person.

You're definitely one cracked skull above most other men on this board.

>>17371410

>for it to be attempted murder - there has to be intent. Thanks for playing, though. Fucking idiots.

Just to reiterate - You beat her until you fractured her skull. It wasn't an accident, you were physically attacking her in a fit of anger, with SERIOUS blows to the head. If that doesn't show "intent," then you have a really poor understanding of the human body. People die that way all the time.

What was your "intent," exactly? In your own words? You just wanted to physically destroy her as much as you could WITHOUT killing her? You lucked out, man. I'm trying to make sure you understand how serious this is. If you flip out like this ever again, someone could die, and then it doesn't fucking matter what your "intent" was.

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/adv/ is really lapping it up today.

Bait or not, I'm pretty sure the OP is gone, guys.

>>17371682
Most judgements are made on limited information. I'm not saying you should dismiss their criticism but try to understand why your thread had such a strong emotional reaction from many anons. Most of our knowledge in regards to ourselves can only come from within as most other people cannot understand your perspective.

I'm sorry for rambling. I do not think a thread on the internet will be much help to you. I think talking to a psychologist will help you understand human relantionship from a different POV. As it has been said, I think this is major issue for you and you need to better understand why you reacted such.

>>17371682

What was the question? What did she lie about?

Kicking her out and cutting her off completely would've been fine considering she was a lying, manipulative cunt. Slapping her would've been fine if she started flipping out. But fucking bashing her skull in and choking her like you did is way, way, WAY over the line! Your gfs father is a pussy for not stabbing your crazy ass. OP, you're a violent, remorseless psycho with no self-insight what so ever. Try LSD and reflecting on what you've done, that's the best advice I've got seeing as you don't take therapy seriously. Or just kill yourself, before someone else does.

You cunt

>>17371626
>still feel it was warranted
actually it wasn't. This whole thread is filled with people telling you your moral compas is wrong and you still go "I feel it was warranted".

Normally there's a natural human reaction to stop hurting people we care about when we see them hurting, even if we are angry. This is why many people resolve the conflict by walking away, so they stop hurting the person, but they can't suddenly become nice either.

You just go ahead and crack her skull and choke her till she passes out.
You're mental and a psychopath.

>>17372582

We're never going to know sadly.

>>17371410
>Killing me for beating your daughter? As much an overreaction as me beating your daughter for lying?

Never said I'd be the one to kill you. But the point I'm trying to make is that you should avoid personal relationships as it's obvious you don't have the mental fortitude to handle them, until you seek professional help and evaluate your whole entire life, from your childhood until this point.