Wanting to tell my parents about being abused as a kid

You don't wanna disturb the pond, and that's the a wise decision. Maybe you should keep it that way. I'm pre-empting the devil's advocate here. What good would come of telling the folks? Chances are they already know.

>>17368332
You should tell them. The family being destroyed is better than you being destroyed, and it's the right thing to do. You will never have peace until you open up. Your afflictions won't cease with this but it'll help you, big time.

>>17368332
Ultimately it's going to be such a shock to them, it doesn't really matter how you do it (in terms of doing it over dinner, or just bringing it up when you're watching TV)

Just do it in person. I'd tell them both unless they both accept that you get along better with one of them

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>>17368336
Thats one thought im seriously having, father thinks it may have happened when i was a kid but doesnt know specifics, maybe i tell them it happened but not name names?

>>17368348
This is my partners response, she is mainly looking out for my mental health and thinks its a necessity to get better and to try and move forward a bit more

>>17368353
If your dad thinks it might have happened, he probably treats it like it did happen. So there's that.

Do name names. Tell him who did what, if you do tell him. There's no point in leaving the story incomplete. That's your dad.

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>>17368352
i do get along better with my father over my mother, my mother in the nicest way possible, is a cunt. I was thinking of talking to my father about it but not sure whats going to happen to be honest

>>17368353
You can't conceal anything. You need to be open to be free of this great burden. You'll always regret hiding that one secret, always consider revealing it but never doing so. Give yourself the peace of mind and say everything that needs to be said. Also I'm very glad that your girlfriend is pushing for you to open up, it's absolutely in your best interest and for your good to do so. Open up to both your parents, don't leave one in the dark that does no good.

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>>17368358
yeah, he mentioned it once last year when we were watching this kevin bacon film (cant watch films with him in it because i just think of him as a pedo). Hes pretty clued on, psychiatrist.

>>17368359
Then I'd suggest you just pull your father aside when you see him, tell him you have something you want to get off your chest that's caused you a lot of pain over the years, and break it to him

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>>17368362
Fuck. This is why this situation is so utterly fucked up. This shit cant end well for the family if i do it... fuck my life

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i can only see two possible outcomes
1. they believe me and i ruin all family dynamics
2 they dont believe me and i ruin all family dynamics

>>17368372
Your family deserves to know the truth, to know what's hurting you. Imagine how your father feels knowing what happened but being unable to help or comfort you. Him commenting on it was him reaching out to you, requesting that you open up. This is one of the few situations where you should be genuinely selfish, you NEED to be free of this to live and to live happily.

>>17368378
Your father already has a hunch. This happening to you would also allow your family to understand why you fell into depression and pain. They will believe you, stop giving doubt a voice.

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>>17368379
>>17368381
ok anons
thank you so much for this support. I know it seems mundane but getting advice from people youve never met and have no bias is sometimes the purest form of advice one can get.
Ill tell my dad about it when i see them next, again thank you

>>17368383
Yes friend good luck

>>17368383
Best wishes

>>17368348
This.

>>17368332
As someone who was sexually abused as a child, I would advocate not saying anything. Just my 2 cents.

What benefit do you get by telling your parents? Does it make YOU feel better?

Could you feel better talking to a therapist? Have you?

Also, where is said cousin now? Does he live locally? Does he come in contact with kids? Do you think he's capable of molesting kids now?