Im a 23 year old male with a shy narcissistic personality. I

>>17368024
Do you have any friends to lean on, OP?

>>17368041
I do, but whenever I talk to them I just lose interest when they start talking about themselves. I try to be there and talk to them but if I'm being honest, I'm a terrible person who tries to fathom what people are feeling but over time I get bored with it. I'm just interested in my boring self. I know this attitude is really disgusting and narcissistic but I can't help it. I have a feeling I'll never be in a relationship the way I am.

>>17368054
You definitely need to focus on yourself before a relationship, every possible outcome would be poor. You need to talk with your friends about your struggle with narcissism and how it's distanced you from everyone, rely on them for help. Worst case scenario, get a counselor.

>>17368066
wouldnt a relationship help me become more empathetic? Can't I just fake myself into the relationship and then show the real me? And I've already went to a university psychiatrist but I can't help but lie.

You sound like someone I know. Maybe you should try expanding your friend circle.

>>17368084
A relationship would surely crash and burn. If you can't keep your attention span above 15 seconds with your friends when the conversation is no longer about you, what makes you think you could do it with someone else? You faking yourself in a relationship would just cause all parties involved a headache. Nothing good would come from it, you wouldn't change nearly fast enough for it to work. You need time and effort. You need to see a professional and tell the truth. If you are completely, 100%, fully unable to be honest, then you're fucked. But that's not the case, first thing you should tell the person helping you through this is that you struggle with honesty and are prone to lying to make the time easier.

>>17368024
>>17368054
I feel very similar and in fact do very similar things with my time. I think we'd oddly get along.
I also avoid people because they do things slowly or take too long to understand things or repeat themselves too often.

>>17368084
I am in a relationship and if anything it has made me less empathetic. Apathy is sort of power in a relationship and so you will not benefit from being more empathetic and therefore it is unlikely you will become this way.

I went to my therapist for a long time before I started "being myself" around him but it definitely has helped. I recommend giving therapy an actual chance. Go for AT LEAST a few months and then decide.

>>17368097
Initials are DN? And I can expand it however what would that accomplish?

TL;DR
That's unfortunate. As bitter and as spiteful as I am I can relate. I'm in a very similar boat, except i've hade a harem or stable of women over the internet since age eleven.

If your friends see you as the butt of all jokes they're not friends.

If women see you as the sponge they're not interested.

If you're treated as the grey mass of nothing its likely indicative that you are.

You go to the gym. You rock climb. Never let it be said you aren't active or busy barring 4chan. No, shitposting doesn't count.

Enjoy yourself and your activities. If all you want is to sink your dick in something there are better, simpler ways to do it. If you want the love of your life you're asking a very strange set of people.

>>17368113

Sorry, not the same person. Well if you meet more people, you might make friends you enjoy being around. Your lack of happiness could stem from not having friends, not dating, or just general low self-esteem from your fat boy mentality so I'm not sure what else advice to give. Either way, hope you find some happiness.

>>17368100
I guess I can try and say that the next time I see my psychiatrist. And the way I see it if I was in a relationship I would be able to define what I was having with the other person as important to me so I'd at least try. Ive kept myself closed up and never had a relationship because of the fear of myself, and to say the least I'm a bit curious as to figuring out how I can open up to a girl/ date one without scaring her off.
>>17368104
If you dont mind me asking, what exactly helped you in therapy?

Interested in that topic myself.

Used to be fat,vidya/internet addicted shut in since im 16 years old.
started my recovery when I was ~23 years old, which is 3 years ago.

Lost wheight, got /fit/ and found friends, even lost my virginity.
Everything is better than before, yet I get more and more depressed.
It's like my subconscius mind rejects improving myself and just wants to get back into old habits...
Im not ggoing back though!
pretend to be happy until you are happy.

>>17368118
Its much easier to talk to an anonymous board then to real life people about who I really am. and I guess youre right about the friends thing.
>>17368133
Thank you

>>17368158
The prey over the predator and then end over the existence.

This sounds overly mopey and droll. My apologies.

>>17368165
I'll tell you what I believe and what is very real.

No one can love you because you're unworthy of it. Your narcisism has consumed you to the point of folly. There is no cave for your old man nor a sea.

People are simple. We're all terribly dull and often remembered more for what we weren't than what we were. Take a chance. Ask them for a dance. At worst you lose what little face you have and at best you gain someone to drone on with.

Allahu Akbar

>>17368177
And a ching chong nip nong to you too, young lady.

>>17368149
Dude, being in a relationship isn't going to suddenly make you care about her. Having sex with someone doesnt mean you won't get annoyed when they talk about what their freinds said for an hour. If you can't tolerant your friends you will not be able to fake interest in a relationship successful, she'll know/suscept you don't give a shit, you'll pretend its a terrible misunderstanding and you do care, despite that being a lie, and keep not caring, cylce continues, cue painful drama and a messy break up.

Go be honest and get honest help.

>>17368168
>The prey over the predator and then end over the existence.
what is this supposed to mean, I dont get it.

>>17368176
Alright I'll go in with the attitude of fuck it and go with it anyways
>>17368177
the fuck?

>>17368191
Rudimentary philosophical reasoning.

If life is agony and death is the end then life=pain death=blissful solitude.
I believe it was Jung who said that the prey was to be envied in the jaws of the predator but its been ages and philosophy is for those with too much time and far too much money.

>>17368193
We exist in an age where the self is defined by your social media likes and dislikes. Never be scared to act; only fear the unwillingess to do so in the first place. As dull and boardroom as it may sound you will never get a second chance. Time does not forgive as we do.

>>17368149
>How can I open up to a girl without scaring her off

By being interested in her and what she has to say, as well as caring about what she says and her. I remember my gf favorite books and know the words to her prefered songs, despite not sharing her interest in those books or bands. If I only cared about unloading my emotional and penal load onto her, she would feel used and want to dip, and rightly so. You need to be the kind of person you want to be with, you want someone to be able to unload to without scaring them off? Be the kind of person people can unload to.

>>17368205
>If life is agony and death is the end then life=pain death=blissful solitude.
I believe it was Jung who said that the prey was to be envied in the jaws of the predator but its been ages and philosophy is for those with too much time and far too much money.

but what are you trying to tell me with that?

>>17368223
Life's a bitch and then you die. You don't learn from a softened hand and buttered biscuits. Don't be afraid to make mistakes. They're one of the few things we living have over the dead.

>>17368231
>You don't learn from a softened hand and buttered biscuits.
This is wisest thing I've ever read on this website.

>turtle

>>17368239
Clearly your biscuit has never been properly buttered. Freshly made they're flakey and moist, yet suitably warm. Its magical, if not life affirming.

>>17368250
You just described to me my perfect biscuit. My eyes are open.

>>17368024
I can relate. I stopped using the word narcissism years ago, because I don't want to idendify with it. I will not diagnose myself or anyone else any more based on few internet articles I read. Though the first thing I did back then was telling my friends I think I may be narcisstic. >>17368066 gives a good advice.

I was about to say: I may think of myself that I am not ever interested in other people, only myself, but then again there are situations proving it's not true. But I have hard time coming up with anything. It hit me like a truck. Fuck.

BUT. Human memory is selective. Most of the time we remember only what reaffirms our identities.This gives me hope.