GFs ex messaged her

Forgot to also add, my gf flips out if even a girl from college messages me relating to an assignment

sounds like shes seflish

>>17367713
I asked her why she didn't ignore and she said that she 'was worried something could have been wrong and people commit suicide if they don't have someone to reach out to'. Makes literally no sense but I can see she's trying to make it look like she only replied to make sure he was okay and I'm a bad person for not wanting her to make sure someone isn't in need

shes selfish

best way is to communicate. "idk" is not an answer you should accept

>>17367734
I wouldn't have accepted it but she messaged me this when I was half asleep at 7am

Sounds very selfish tbqh

You're in a tough spot OP

>You can do what you like. Just know that I don't like you talking to this guy. I'm not forbidding you from it, you're a big girl and you can make your own decisions. But I will not tolerate you keeping anything more than amicable contact with an ex of yours and I would expect you to not tolerate the same from me. Keep talking to this guy, or hide it from me or lie to me about it, and know that I will leave you without a second thought. I trust you to make a thoughtful decision in this matter, do not abuse my trust in you.

>>17367919
This is the first time she's spoken to this ex for nearly 10 months, it just doesn't sit well with me. I will take this on board, thankyou

She's being very apologetic now

When your gf is meeting with other guys one-on-one without you, it spells bad news for the relationship if you want to stay monogamous.

That's the most I can say without bringing out dirty laundry.

>>17368161
She hasn't met with another guy 1 on 1 - afaik, unless something has happened behind my back but I have no reason to be suspicious. If she did even suggest to meet another guy one on one I'd break up immediately

Having an ex reach out to her is an ego boost, she doesn't want to give that up.
See
>>17367713
>>17367734
>>17367820

Dump the bitch. She is a psychic vampire. She is an abuser and she is obviously playing you. The suicide BS is just a way to make you stop questioning and to actually want to meet an ex that she is suppose to have left behind her. The fact that she flippant out when a lady text you even for anything simple as an assignment is the begins of an abusive relationship. It starts with other girls. It ends with all your friends. She controls and manipulate you through feelings and making you the bad guy in all instances. Domestic Violence this is called. I have been in more then one relationship like this. Trust me, it ain't worth it.

>>17368203
Yeah I think its all an ego boost and a game to make me more attracted to her by thinking other guys want her

>>17368208
Thankfully she hasn't even suggested meeting up with her ex, her ex has a new GF also. I think you are right, it may be time to get out before things get worse

>>17368208
>Domestic Violence
No, that's not Domestic Violence. It's being manipulative and controlling.

>>17367635
>old ex hits her up
>she's like "i might talk to him teehee"
>flips her shit when females text you about school shit

Dump this stupid bitch.

>>17368218
Ah well thats a good thing she didn't suggest meeting her ex. But the fact still remains. She is abusing you through emotions. If she is jealous about you even talking to classmates there is a problem. My ex forced me to never speak to or even look at women she thought was prettier then herself. Thats where is started. It ended with me having close to no friends. She was often hiting me both at home and in public with a smile on her face cause she knew I couldn't do shit about it. People around us just thought it was fun and games and so did I in the beginning. But when I figured out what was going on I took my stuff and left, never looking back.

And that bitch will never get any justice for what she did to me and others (I have talked to her exes) because the mentality that women can't be abusive is a real thing.

>>17368228
Abusive relationship if that flouts better with ya. Buy domestic violence are more often then not psychical rather then physical and it basically mean abusive behavior in a relationship.

>>17367919
/thread

>>17367568
You don't trust her, and she knows it.

>>17368274
NOBODY FUCKING CARES

>>17368261
She's quite timid so she'd never physically abuse me, plus I don't think she physically could. She is quite a 'fragile' person, she cries with any confrontation but I suspect that's just more manipulation.

>>17368274
this has nothing to do with trust

When I think about it, her excuse of making sure he is okay and not suicidal is bs. Her ex has a gf, why would he contact her out of the blue for help.

>>17368203
this

>>17367568
well if you ask me, you are going the wrong way

you cannot blame her for an asshole contacting her

you can possibly blame her for not making it clear to him that it's over bur even if she does that, he can still contact her regardless, while being drunk or some shit

one of my girl's ex contacted her too, I was pissed as well

what I dis : I told my girl to give me the phone number of that dude, and I put that faggot in place. no more contact after that. workq even better if you do it with her phone.

you are a man so get your balls working at least once in a while, or you can bet that chad is gonna fuck your girl once in a while

>>17368384
the problem is she is from a different city on the otherside of the country. she is visiting home now, how can I even threaten someone who lives on the other side? if he was here I'd have no problem. what did you say to the ex?

>>17368335
yeah its bs

>>17368384
that's poor form m8, you should hold your girl to a higher standard than that

I don't step in to clean dog piss out of the living room carpet, because my goddam dog better not be being on the carpet in the first place

same way i'm not gunna step in and tell some guy to stop texting my girl, my girl better no goddam well texting other dudes is not okay

>>17368392
you shall not give a fuck about where he lives, or anything else, thats bullshit excuses

What I said to him : (im french so ill try to give the most accurate translation)

"hey sup mate
--
I saw youre still texting my girl now its starting to piss me off
--
she doesnt give any more fuck about you so go get a life
--
ok I accept your apologies cya
"

most men are undercover pussies and wont do shit

>>17368547
I train in muay thai and a bit of bjj so I'm not concerned about a confrontation, I just don't like making empty threats that I can't back up. I don't have any connections that side of the country either. with all due respect, most guys would just laugh if some girls bf sent that. if some guy sent me that I'd just laugh at him and call him insecure

>>17367568
>I asked how it could possibly be important, to which she replied 'idk'.
A couple of weeks ago, a guy sought advice from us on how to contact his ex. She and her new boyfriend were blocking him, but he had just found out that he's HIV positive, and could have given it to her.

So yeah, it COULD be important. Not terribly likely, but not impossible. I wouldn't suggest breaking no-contact for anything less grave than that. But then, this guy you're talking about probably isn't the guy who sought advice from us.

>>17368568
my gf hadn't blocked this ex, they just hadn't spoken for a long time.

>>17368558
well it was not my case, he lives 30 min away from me so yeah it was totally backed, I dont know why you mention insecurity it has little to do with it, probably you are insecure, but I was legitimately pissed about that faggot especially since my gf told him to shut it

are you scared ? and what about that distance ? if you love a girl you shall do whatever it takes, this is my point of view. I could not care less about that.

you just dont have the balls to end it apparently. do what you want, and prepare to have that guy on your back for undertermined time

>>17368578
>well it was not my case, he lives 30 min away from me so yeah it was totally backed,
I'm glad it worked out for you senpai

> I dont know why you mention insecurity it has little to do with it, probably you are insecure, but I was legitimately pissed about that faggot especially since my gf told him to shut it
If someone sent me that I'd just assume they are insecure, it wouldn't be threatening at all

>are you scared ?
No, as I said I don't mind confrontation

>and what about that distance ? if you love a girl you shall do whatever it takes, this is my point of view. I could not care less about that.
I'm not going to spend my money on a plane to ticket to fly 5 hours to knock some guy out who just messaged my gf 'how have you been'. I'm not happy about it but its not that drastic that I would go to those lengths

>you just dont have the balls to end it apparently. do what you want, and prepare to have that guy on your back for undertermined time
I don't think this is particularly worthy of ending it, I'm playing it out and seeing whats happening. This ex messaged her once in like 10 months, if he kept harassing her I'd make her block him (if she didn't do it on her own)

>>17368586
Threatening someone is moronic, you original assumption of it making you looking insecure is valid. You should probably talk to the bloke and tell him to not contact your gf. Furthermore, your gf shouldn't need to be told "don't chat to your ex", if he's just chatting and catching up that's fine, but guys rarely chat to "just catch up". I'd bail if your gf is trying to insist on keeping in touch with an old flame.

>>17368591
As I said, its the first time he's contacted her for 10 months and he has a gf. I'm not concerned about it in terms of her going back, but I just don't think ex's should speak at all. I already outlined that too her when we first started dating and she agreed.

>>17368598
Look, generally I agree, but I have two exs whom i'm good friends with. I chat to them every now and then and even attended ones wedding. However, I'm very open about it and maintain good relationships with their respective partners. It's possible for exs to be friends in the actual sense of the word but again very rare, it's up to you. If he seems flirty, joking or picking at your relationship I'd tell her to cease talking. If both of you agreed prior then again I'd ask her to cease talking. Let your gf know your needs and concerns (without overdoing it emotion wise) and discuss it with her. Poor communication will kill the shit out of any relationship.

>>17368608
I respect that if other people are happy to have their partners talking to ex's, but we both agreed we wouldn't. I haven't even seen the convo but she said it was chit chat and she ignored him when she realized it wasn't important (makes no sense desu).

>>17368392
so out of the blue the ex contacts her and she just happens to be home visiting where he is. Are you kidding. She let him know

>>17368727
didn't even think of this connection. it is college break atm universally in my country but yeah, is it a bit weird

>>17368727
I did see the first message, it was 'hey, how have you been?'

>>17368747
no matter if it is a coincidence she is in the same town and you will never know they see each other. In fact I would bet thousands she contacted him already

So many dumb replies, what the fuck.

Don't talk to the guy, don't threaten him, don't fucking do anything. You do anything and you become the bad guy and she confides in the ex.

Do you trust your GF? Yes? Then there's no fucking issue. No? Then fucking break up with her

>>17368770
OP is automatically the bad guy no matter if he says a word or not. He is in the way of what she wants to do. Simply being in the relationship is an inconvenience.

I agree about the trust thing, either you do or you don't because it doesn't matter, she'll do what she wants to do so why stress over it however I do understand why trust is shaken by constant interaction with ex's and constant cultivation of new admirers.

>>17368770
>>17368794
I disagree about a trust issue. I do trust her that nothing will happen. Its more just out of respect, we both mutually agreed we would not speak to ex's out of respect for each other

>>17368833
but OP something already happened and you don't entirely trust her because you had to remind her of your agreement as she tried to find a legitimate reason to respond to an ex.

Easy for her to agree about mutual respect until an ex contacts her. Then she wants to talk with him and you are the bad guy for reminding her. If she respected you and the relationship she would have told you and deleted the message period.

Here's the problem. Trust until they do something contrary to what they agreed or better yet have a do not cross line in your mind and don't say a word until they cross it and then tell them you are out. No warning, no logical reasoning to cajole her into not crossing just end it. Women are capable of being adults and they know what's right or fuzzy so stop giving them passes.

>>17368851
True, I trust her for the most part but her hesitation earlier in the year to delete/block an ex blatantly trying to sleep with her left with a bit less trust for her. Thankyou for your response

>>17368904
>her hesitation
that is the part you saw, what she was trying to do is have you say it was ok and not remind her of her commitment. You have to ask yourself when a woman does this, what does she want more? Here it is easy and proved by her anger and hesitation to shut down the ex's (plural so this is becoming habitual). She wants the ex's contact, is ok with you being comfortable and justifies it by saying you are being unreasonable.

>>17368924
She sent me the convo with the ex that time, she did keep saying no to him asking to hangout but it still doesn't sit well with me at all. I personally think its an ego thing, she likes the attention. I've never really suspected cheating, I really hope not. An interesting thing though, this kind of drama only happens when she goes to her hometown.

>>17368935
then that tells me these guys know she is headed there. Let's give her the benefit of the doubt and say she doesn't contact them first but her friends let these guys know. You still have these guys basically asking you for a date when she is alone far from you.

>>17368952
The ex that messaged her yesterday didn't ask her out and has a gf. The one earlier in the year that was blatant about it probably noticed because she was tagged in a facebook status by her female bestfriend about how great it is that she is home and gets to see her

>>17368962
come on OP, him having a gf means nothing and he hasn't asked her out yet but he knows she will be in town. How hard for them to bump into each other.

Also, why do you think just because you saw one chat thread earlier in the year that was the only chat they had. You also realize either can dial a phone too

>>17368969
Yeah I realize all of this but I want to trust her. Maybe I put too much trust into it?

>>17368972
trust her if you want but don't feel guilty for feeling something isn't right nor fall for her trial balloon about breaking up if she goes out with an ex. She's an adult, make a decision and suffer the consequences.

be prepared to be very disappointed in her behavior. Them over you

>>17368975
yeah strongly feeling this