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attracted to strangers

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I know people are going to be sexually attracted to multiple people in life, and charmed by many people in life. However, I'm wondering if it's a bad thing when your partner wants to have sex with random people in passing or on television.

I would use myself as a reference, but I'm only attracted to people once I get to know and like them. I'm not asserting that this is "better" or anything. I'm just trying to understand the mentality of, "I want to fuck that person I met in passing," and if it's a bad sign in a partner, a sign that the person is loose and/or that I'm not satisfying.
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Your partner is a degenerate. Nice choice, OP
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>>17350304
Thanks for the detailed response.
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OP, you may be demisexual. I know it sounds like one of those tumblr things, but it's perfectly legitimate. It just means you have to have strong emotioms before you wanna sex someone.
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>>17350296
OP, I'm like you, but I think most normies work like that. Not saying your GF is a normie, but it's an example. Haven't you seen all those girls that fantasize with random attractive guys just because they're hot? For example, girls that fantasize about the one direction members. I don't understand it either, but it's something that happens.
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i just had a talk about this with my friend who is a girl married to a guy.

The girl is unhappy about their sexlife, because the guy want vanilla sex and she likes it rough. The girl is perpetually not satisfied, so the guy said she can fuck anybody she wants but he just dont want to hear it.

Well, we had a talk about this. She just says she separates love and sex from each other. Fair enough, they can be different things. It seems some people don't separate these things. For some people fucking others is not a big deal and for somebody else open relationship doesnt come into the question. People are just different.

I also just wanted to understand this thing since i tend to think this is degenerated. She also thinks it hurts if she would know that her husand would fuck other girls. She told me that it is the ego what steps in.

Well, anyways, I cannot think about sharing my GF with another dude even though i realize i just want to fuck by pure lust. Sadly, only anonymously i can tell my honest opinion that this is just descending to the ape -tier. I understand hornyness; that is normal but to be carried away by your emotions is degenerating. But that is just my way to see the relationship and sex to be something which can be only in the relationship. People are different with their defititions about love and sex.

I also dont want to fuck stangers, i think thats fucking weird in a way even though i get the thrill. That girl, however, says fucking strangers is the best thing to do.

I guess her way of fucking is somehow superficial and rubbing her genitalias into a cock. Like, shallow type of "porn" -sexing. Its ok if she get off like that. I like it rough too, but i don't find it so amazing to rub my penis into somebody i have no decent connection with. I did it couple of times, it was ok, the girls seemed to liked it, but was nothing too grande.

Maybe this is because i was with somebody 11 years and the sex was fucking GREAT, based on trust, real emotions.
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>>17350296

If you and your partner have wildly different values and preferences about love, sex, and relationships, then having a relationship together will be difficult. It isn't worthwhile to say one person's "bad" because it isn't going to change anything.
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Sounds like a fetish to me. My mentality over sexualities and fetishes is "the dick/clit wants what the dick/clit wants." Just go over to /d/ and try to understand even a fraction of the weird things people get turned on by over there. For some of it there's just no detectable rhyme or reason, like figuring out why someone may prefer apples to oranges. Could be physical, or mental and based on experience, or a combination of both.

Having said that, I have a bit of a thing for one night stands and casual sex with strangers in passing, though it's really just a fantasy more than a practice. For me it's less being attracted to people I've just met and wanting to fuck them and more the concept of fucking someone I don't know well. I just find it exciting and arousing, and it really has very little to do with my real longterm relationship or how I feel about my partner, like many things I get off on. It's a sexual fantasy based on danger and mystery, and it's kind of tied to the concept doing something (here someone) for the very first time. I'm also into a lot of porn where people lose their virginity, and I think these ideas are related.

At the same time, my more logical side understands that sleeping around with strangers can be dangerous and unhealthy, so I don't really do it. I compromised by setting up a casual sexual long distance relationship with someone online. That way I can have sex with someone I know very well but almost never actually see. And I have a more serious longterm partner that is cool with this setup so it's all good.

That's just me, though. The best way to learn about your partner's own feelings would be to talk to them directly.
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>>17350407
not op, but this interests me. How this is ok to your boyfriend? Does she get a kick out of this? Is he a cuckold?

Can you really so that you love your boyfriend, like for real? Have you ever loved somebody very intensly?

Not judging, but i cannot be without thinking that in a setting like this, people are not knowingly having very deep connection to the loved one. They think they have, but i dont believe it is very strong. Just some months ago, a fb friend of mine, who was always bragging about open relationships and how good they are, just got engaged to a guy and said the love is so amazing she cannot even think about sharing the man with anybody else. I was like: "here we go again"
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>>17350428
>Are they a cuckold?
Yep. I might have really lucked out on that, actually.
My ldr that I was talking about also has a fiance that's cool with their lifestyle too though. I get the impression that they sleep around a lot more than I do. Dunno what their relationship dynamic is exactly since I don't bring it up much in conversation, but 'm pretty sure cucking isn't a part of it for them- they just seem to have a more open kind of relationship.

>Can you really so that you love your partner, like for real?
Absolutely. We've been together since highschool, going on ten years now, and are talking about getting married. We've been living together for some years now and I think they're a really big part of my life.

>Have you ever loved somebody very intensly?
Yes. But at this point in life I think I'm past the intense "honeymoon" stage with my regular partner and more into the comfortable life plan thing. Which means me seeing me somebody else for sex occasionally really spices up our sex life.
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>>17350466
ok, how is you sexlife with your bf? Is he attractive to you? Is your long distance fuck a hunk?

How do you feel about him fucking other girls?
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>>17350332
Not OP, but that's what that means? I always thought it was Greek or some shit. Dat me.

But you're still a tumblr fag.

>>17350296
How does she phrase this intent?
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>>17350296
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>>17350498
>how is you sexlife with your partner? Are they attractive to you?

Eh, with me it's like >>17350369's friend said with
>She just says she separates love and sex from each other.
My connection with my partner is more emotional than physical. Actually neither of us is a terribly sexual person: we have sex relatively rarely compared to other couples I think. And that's at all, not just with one another. I AM extremely attracted to my partner, but less so physically. They do a lot more for me on pretty much every other level. We have had some good sex though when we're in the right mood and situation and things click well. It doesn't help our sex life right now that we're currently not living alone and I personally prefer a lot of privacy to get stimulated.

> Is your long distance fuck a hunk?
Hah. No. Appearance wise they're not terribly good looking. But we're more compatible as far as fetishes go than my partner and I.

>How do you feel about him fucking other girls?
On a practical note, I need him to be safe so that complications like stds don't arise. Otherwise, I guess it's just their own business. I can get a little jealous if I overthink it, like when they announced their engagement I admit I felt a little unhappy. But, really, getting worked up over it is just a waste of time and energy imo. In any case, that factor isn't really something that I have to deal with if I don't want to, since it's not a part of the thing we have going on right now. I'm aware of it, but it's hardly in my face and we don't talk about it much.
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>>17350546
It sounds like you're feeling the negative effects of being in an open relationship and then invalidating those feelings ("oh well" "I guess it's just"), and then you arrive at the point that he is engaged to someone else and you could have invested your energy in someone who gave you more.
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>>17350587
Well, thanks for that. But it sounds to me like you're projecting and hearing what you want to hear to validate your own assumptions instead of trusting me to understand my own situation. Trying not to be defensive here, but I do get the impression your line of questioning was rooting around for something you could latch on to that confirms an idea of yours, maybe unconsciously. That's okay, but I just want to stand by what I said to clarify.

I don't feel like I "invested" much of anything. My ldr was a non-serious online friendship for years before we decided to meet up and take it where it is now. It wasn't a carefully crafted plan intended to give me a certain return, and it definitely didn't blow up in my face when I found out about the engagement, considering it changed almost nothing. I was just disappointed that my fuck buddy will have a spouse that might affect their availability in the future, but those fears were kind of unfounded anyway.
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>>17350332
>demisexual
You guys are just making up shit as you go now, huh?

I like to fuck chicks mon-thurs, and dudes from fri-sun. I only require emotional attachment on midnight every other wednesday. What sexuality is that?
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>>17350648
degeneracy
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>>17350648
Obsessive compulsive disorder.
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>>17350637
I read the childhood friend stuff and missed the ldr stuff.

I was trying to confirm something I believed about a label, particularly "cuck" and "open relationship", two I'm sick of. Labels aside, I don't judge your life choices. Sorry. I do encourage you to find a guy who doesn't mind diverting most of his sexual and romantic attention to you. You don't have to be a notch in someone's belt, a casual fuck, or part of a transaction.
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>>17350665
But she'll likely continue doing it anyway
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>>17350665
>I do encourage you to find a guy who doesn't mind diverting most of his sexual and romantic attention to you.
That's what I have with my regular partner. The one I'm living with.

> You don't have to be a notch in someone's belt, a casual fuck, or part of a transaction.
I'm not, but thanks for the concern.
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>>17350731
Then why not just call him "dude im fucking". The terminology makes it sound like there is more than that.
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>>17350296
Most of the time, when someone says "I wanna fuck that (person)", they're merely commenting on their physical attractiveness. Whether or not they'd actually jump all over that person at the drop of a hat has more to do with people's personality than anything. Some people are like you and can't think of other people in a serious sexual context just from casual contact, some people get off on the rush of possibly fucking a stranger they just met. Everyone is different.
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>>17350742
We've known eachother a while now. I know I started this by saying this is someone I have sex with to fulfill a one night stand kind of fantasy, and our relationship certainly is very sexual, but we're friends aside from that kind of pretend play as well. "dude I'm fucking" was just a term I never considered in my posts, but you're welcome to think that way if it helps you better rationalize my story.

I feel like we're getting off topic from what OP was going for. I was only trying to provide my experience to say that I sympathize with OP's partner's point of view, and explaining how I deal with that similar feeling while maintaining my own relationship
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