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>Be last year
>Be me, 20y/o
>Just outta 5yr online relationship
>Was pretty much my only consistent friend in the world the entire time
>Lost place I was living in last summer
>phone broke, lost internet
>had to move in with strangers
>started smoking weed daily
>made friends I think
>new bf, been together 9 months
>he's relatively socially adept
>I have problems getting along with other women (mum gave me a hard time) + anxiety disorder + pretty isolated life (bullied kid, homeless from 16 onwards, no rl friends etc)
>not sure if aspergers or lack of practice socialising but I fucking suck
>Like I really fucking suck
>Turns out I have a nervous stutter/twitch/mild trichotillomania & other tics I didn't fucking know existed because I've successfully avoided everyone until now
>Selfconcious about it obviously
>Never knew I was this bad
>Weed is helping mostly
>On mid dose prozac/propranolol, can't get doctors to help me any more than that although they all seem to agree I have a "severe case"
>Agreed to let a girl straighten my hair yesterday because I thought I'd finally get to experience same sex bonding but I actually just flipped out and started yelling then apologising then crying because what the fuck do girls actually like having somebody stand behind them fucking with their hair with burning hot irons?
>girl is mad at me, bf is mad at me
>says I really need to get used to people or we're done
I'm embarassed enough to consider just dumping him and saving both of us the inevitable social scarring. I like him too much to make him "that guy who dated the psycho," and I have a lot of paranoia about whether he or anyone else talks about me behind my back already etc. Thing is, we're in the homelessness thing together and he's relying on me to get a place with him because he needs people. We're actually a pretty good couple despite the obvious, but I'm not sure if I'll ever get used to people, if I ever can or if I ever want to.
Is it worth it, /adv/?
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Shameless bump.
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sort the homeless thing out and then worry about other shit
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>>17340409
Working on it, obviously.
Been living more or less like this since I was 16 so I'm used enough to the prospect of moving around to worry about other shit.
I just wanna know if it's worth actually investing effort in other people or if I should just say fuck it, quit while I'm ahead and work towards eventually living with a few cats/dogs in a trailer in the mountains.
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Obviously you've had absolutely horrible experiences.
I don't know who said it but it goes something like like you can't steer your boat forwards if you're always looking backwards.
Reference and thanks to whomever is the original author of that.
People are for the most part good, I mean you are a person right?
Tough past, bright future, that's your choice now, not your parents, not societies, yours.
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>>17340466
I'll keep the quote in mind, I kinda like little things like that.
I dunno though. I haven't ever considered what kind of life my parents wished for me, and I've never really been interested in what society has to offer, and I'm aware that people are mostly just trying to do their best to be happy and make others happy and it's just my intense discomfort around people that makes me uncomfortable to be around.
But I don't know if I'll be happier alone or happier once I learn how to human relationship.
What if I end up with two ex husbands and four kids that I'm desperately pretending to be attached to?
Or what if I get crazy lonely if I go down the other path? Like I read a book where friendship/love happens and I spontaneously an hero?
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