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How do you, personally, justify drug consumption?
I'm 23, just graduated college, and for about 8 months now I think I've been getting depressed. This doesn't sound like a big deal but, for the most part, I've been a happy, "Let's fuckin' do it." guy. I always smile, and I make the best of everything.
However, now, everything I once enjoyed feels pointless, I feel like I don't have any "me" juice left, and I feel like I don't fit in everywhere I go. It almost feels like I have no friends, even though people always tell me, "You practically know EVERYONE!".
I had a shitty girlfriend in high school that I kept hooking up with over the last 5 years (we're back to being together, at this point), and, though at most points I feel like she makes me happy, I feel like this enormous pressure to tell her to hit the road, hit up other girls, and just do something different. (The hitting up other girls part feels like a societal pressure more than an internal want, more than anything.)
I never consumed drugs growing up. I hardly took pain killers. I didn't like the feeling of "What I'm feeling is artificial." As a result, I never drank or smoked, either. I got tired of not understanding this thing that fucking everyone does (drink alcohol) and didn't like that. (I'm a pretty empathetic person. I like to understand who you are, and why you are who you are. When I talk to you I'm engaged in the conversation. I just didn't like how, every time someone was drunk, I just can't understand.) So I got drunk for the first time a few weeks ago. It was okay, mostly dizzy the whole time, but, just as I thought, I didn't like taking a mind altering substance.
Here I am, now, and I just asked my mother if our insurance covers mental health, and told her I think I'm depressed. Rather than being shocked, she entirely understood. Apparently this kind of shit runs in the family. Like, a lot. And I was just kind of a one off.
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OP Cont:
Here's the thing, though. I believe that my attitude can fix whatever shit I'm going through. A change in perspective. But they're gonna prescribe me shit. God knows fucking what. And, I'm here to ask, what about smoking weed? Literally all of my friends do it, so it won't be hard. But I want to ask what you people can remember when you first started. Was it a big deal? How do you justify regular, medicinal consumption of a drug? Or even recreational? I'm not looking for "hehe cuz it's fun". I'm looking for, "Every brain is different, and there are often times biochemical imbalances and various drugs fix that." etc. etc.
Here's the thing, though. I believe that my attitude can fix whatever shit I'm going through. A change in perspective. But they're gonna prescribe me shit. God knows fucking what. And, I'm here to ask, what about smoking weed? Literally all of my friends do it, so it won't be hard. But I want to ask what you people can remember when you first started. Was it a big deal? How do you justify regular, medicinal consumption of a drug? Or even recreational? I'm not looking for "hehe cuz it's fun". I'm looking for, "Every brain is different, and there are often times biochemical imbalances and various drugs fix that." etc. etc.
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Double post holy shit I'm bad at this.
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>>17314091
Not High - A
High - B
A:
Normal Self
B:
Increased concentration and reflectiveness into thoughts and experiences BUT unable to work properly.
I just want to join A with B without weed, I have fun with buddies but I don't smoke regularly.
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>>17314149
Interesting. Do you have any experience with any other drugs?
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>>17314091
At this point everybody's doing and you will be considered lame. Not a poke a you just saying what today's society thinks of "straight edge" people.
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>>17314091
Because I worked hard and retired early and I do whatever the fuck I want to.
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Smoking weed will entertain and dissociate you from your problems. It can also trigger paranoia and depersonalization. It is mind altering, like you say you dislike.
A psychiatrist will prescribe you a serotonergic, slightly dopaminergic drug for your problems. They might also give you something that acts on neurepronehrin or 5-htp w/e that second one is. Some of the drugs can cause you to be jittery, tired, or sexless. One of them will feel okay. They're subtle. You should just notice more energy and a less sullen attitude. The sexual side effect profile of SSRI's is bad. Antipsychotics are garbage.
They could also prescribe a mood stabilizer like lithium, if you are more of a moody depressive. It's generally okay, and you'll notice a more stable mood maybe with some tiredness (less euphoria and abrupt depression).
Mind altering substances are okay in controlled doses. Street drugs and irresponsible prescribers are the ones who get people altered and high.
I speak from a lot of experience.
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>>17314354
Also seek talk therapy. It's more effective than pills. It will change how you deal with these mood dips, so they can cause less damage.
Trust me when I say that leaving all of your commitments because you're depressed won't help.
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>>17314149
Good post.
I'm actually pretty high right now and feel like God. But and it's only temporary. I'll run out eventually and get agitated for a few days. But for now it's great
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