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Anonymous
How to cultivate a health self-image? 2016-06-30 19:53:53 Post No. 17310437
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How to cultivate a health self-image? 2016-06-30 19:53:53 Post No. 17310437
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So I was horribly bullied by guys when I was younger for being chubby and it's caused me to have absolutely terrible self-esteem.
I'm fit now, people say that I have a pretty face and everyone in general seem to agree that I'm an attractive person but because if my lack of romantic experience I'm very shy around guys and things just aren't going well for me.
I guess it's kind of vicious circle. I'm too shy to have normal social interaction so the guys I happen to get close to are usually somehow strange. As in commitment issues, players etc.
I understand in my head that I am not worthless and hopelessly ugly and people have said that I'm intimidating but I still feel absolutely shit about myself. I can't tell if I really am intimidating or if I'm just not good enough.
I'm very lonely and I want to find someone but every time I have a bad experience I just feel like a sack of shit no one will ever love. I understand that it's most likely not something about my appearance that caused things to break down but a part of me is still telling me "it's because you're not pretty/skinny enough" and I feel like I don't even want to try anymore.
Does anyone have any advice or experience on how to deal with this? Should I just expose myself to more people until I get numb or something?
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>>17310437
I have the same thing with girls and I generally just avoid them and don't care very much at this point, the effort doesn't seem to be worth the reward.
But yeah, if you're uncomfortable talking to guys then talking to guys more will make you better at it and will make it a more enjoyable/comfortable experience. It'll be awkward and cringy at first but that's normal. Besides, as a woman you can't even screw up that much. In women awkwardness is interpreted as "she doesn't like me", in men it's more like "he's autistic".
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>>17310467
It's not so much about the talking that's hard for me. I'm just constantly fearing negative judgements or something.
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>>17310497
I don't know if this'll make you feel better at all, but guys will primarily judge you by your looks. If you have that part covered as you say then you're fine.
If you have body image issues, as tons of girls have, just do what every other female does - post pictures on social media, dress sluttier to get more attention, these are all huge ego boosters. I could tell you to "just love yourself" but really that's bullshit.
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