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ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

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Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.

FAQ:

>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.

>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.

>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out. This is something that cannot be explained. You either have learned to intuit this or you have not. If you have not, the only way to learn is experience--there are no shortcuts. So it comes back to: Just ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online. Don't complain that this isn't helpful; stupid questions deserve answers like this.

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.

>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't fucking know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing

>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>

>Brandon, that one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships and fart guy
Fuck off
>>
Reposting, if you're that one faggot, don't reply.

>match girl on tinder
>fuckin goddess to me
>tell her I think she's really cute, ask what music she likes (/mu/tant reporting)
>no reply

So yeah, GIRLS, do you not like being called cute or something? Did I dun goof by being so direct?
>>
Went on a date with a girl. Went really well. We both really like each other. But in fall shes going to a college that is 7 hours away. Should I cut ties with her before getting too attached?
>>
>>17281388
Imo nah. Enjoy the ride while it lasts, the further it goes the better.

Just me maybe, I just like closeness in general
>>
I am a skinny, rather short man and I behave in a slightly timid way, especially with strangers. I am usually cautious, calm and observant. I may become emotional or very empathetic at times. I normally avoid people I don't like, as well as discussions and fights: If I think I don't like this place or this person, I simply leave and never appear again. I think a lot about my life. I enjoy things "normal men" don't usually like (fashion, art, psychology, reading), and even though I enjoy some "manly" activities (sports, computers) people still tend to think sometimes I am gay or too feminine (I don't look like a faggot though) .
Could my "personality" be attractive to girls? And if yes, then which girls? And why most girls don't see me as their potential mate?
>>
>>17281263
It's Tinder, she probably just found some better looking or more interesting guy to chat with.

"You're cute, what music do you like?" is generic as fuck.
>>
>>17281487
I didnt put it like that obviously, also pit in a smiley face. Guess I'll wait another day then let dubs decide, lel.

Real shame if it doesn't lead anywhere, she's 100% my type.

I'm being a faggot narcissist but I doubt she found someone better looking, huehue.
>>
>>17281263
As the other guy said you could not possibly have been more generic. I don't think she has any issue with your message itself, but just that it looks like something you ctrl + v to any of your matches. If you look good that is kind of worse, because it is plausible that you mass send it to tons of women.

Women are afraid of being played, too.
>>
>>17281459
Skinny and short isn't really attractive for most girls, even if it depends of course on how short and how skinny.
Being timid, cautious, calm, observant isn't exactly bad, but most girl prefer socially dominant people.
Emotional and empathetic is generally good, as long as you're not a drama queen.
Avoiding discussions and fights is, for me, the biggest turn off - in my opinion it makes you appear like a doormat. I love having a discussion with my partner, disagreeing on stuff is fucking cool.
It's usually nice if you boyfriend is into the same things I'm into, so I don't see the problem with your interests.

You honestly sound pretty "weak" and insecure overall. Which is a fucking huge turn off.
>>
>>17281459
Nothing you mention is a universal dealbreaker but there is no set kind of girls you're going to attract. You will attract girls who are into slender shorter guys physically, but not all of them. Girls who enjoy taking the lead in a relationship and girls who are domes looking for a guy to sub. Girls who are into heart to hearts about the human condition and are relieved as fuck to find a guy who doesn't care about sports. Girls who would theoretically be better matched with a loud extroverted dude, but were raised by a man like that and got scared into the other direction. Or the other way around: their father was a guy like you and they only have vague memories of him. You'll attract girls who are into burly manly dudes and suddenly find themselves falling in love with you anyway, surprising themselves. You get the picture? It's a mixed bag and you have a better shot noticing who looks at you, who smiles at you, who remembers the trivial things you tell, than trying to pigeonhole possible options.
>>
>>17281524
Did not look at it that way.

I swipe maybe 1 out of 30 to 40 girls right, this girl i superliked. I'll just go the extra mile with the risk of coming off desperate. Nothing to lose, rite.
>>
>>17281550
I think this is your best shot, if she thinks you're a playerdouche going vulnerable is the most radical thing you can do to shake that up. Good luck!
>>
>>17281388
Enjoy it while it lasts m8
>>
>>17281263
You are B O R I N G.

>>17281388
Cut it. LDRs rarely work out, and you barely know each other.

>>17281459
I think you'd attract a niche of girls that like shy, skinny, hipster guys. Usually those types of girls are alt girls, hipster girls, or girls that are also shy.
>>
>>17281501
>dubs decide
Rolling
"Ayy bby, u wan sum fuk"
>>
Swagger = Limping in disguise?
>>
>hooked up with a girl
>asks me add on FB and go out
>whatever, i could fuck around with a bar slut before dumping
>later on add her and talk
>turns out she got cheated on a month ago and she's been going out with a couple of dudes at once to get over the pain
>also, trust issues

Why the fuck would a girl do such a thing and open herself to be used? I'd love to slap some sense into her before dumping her ass.
>>
I miss my exgf a lot
We broke up 8 months ago and stayed friend since we are living far away from each other and didn't risk to bump into each other randomly
I tried to get over her, I even had several date and a crush since the breakup
I was thinking of her as an actual friend for most of these 8 months but my feelings came back

I don't know what to do now, since she is a great person, I don't want to lose her completely by either cutting the ties completely or telling her I still love her and making her cut the ties

Any advice or stories to help me ?
>>
>>17281687
>she's sleeping around
>you're sleeping around

I don't think you're in the position to do that m8.
>>
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Am I attractive? I get a lot of conflicting info in that regard. 19 y/o American.
>>
I hooked up with my ex last week and while we were having sex I put my hand around her neck in a passionate gentle way and she told me to choke her harder. It was kind of hot but how come girls like this?
>>
>>17281722
Completely cut all ties until you've successfully gotten her out of her system. You may not want to do it, but that's what you need to do.

>>17281761
Average. Not ugly, not hot, just a regular sort of guy.
>>
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>girl tags me in a picture with the two of us together on facebook
>says that she misses me
>I drop a comment saying that I miss her as well and that we should meet up sometime
>she likes my comment
>two weeks later I send her a message, trying to spark a conversation
>it's been 4 days and she hasn't replied

wtf is going on here, I really like her, any girl who might be able to explain what's going on inside her head? I'm completely lost
>>
>>17281687
You can only be used if you want more than people give you. Obviously she does not want a relationship, she is hurting over her boyfriend. Fucking other guys makes her remember that she could be with a ton of people, that sex can be different than with him, even if the sex is bad or the guy is a douche. In that sense it's just like going on a date, even if it's terrible you are putting yourself out there and remembering that there's a whole life out there even if you're too depressed to appreciate it much.

Not to mention she probably gets off (figuratively speaking) on knowing that her boyfriend (assuming she broke up) would be hurt, jealous and/or humiliated that she's already sleeping with other guys and he doesn't get to be her last for an indefinite period of time.

If a man wants to forget about a woman he goes out to fuck randoms, too. No it's not 1:1 the same thing but if all the girl wants is sex and the experience/attention, "dumping" her doesn't exactly hurt her. She can have a whole line up of other guys fucking her and casually dating her.
>>
Is women's advice to guys about women accurate or helpful? Or are women either conciously or unconciously just trying to breed white knights and only defend their own team?
>>
Girls: Is a bad facebook profile picture of a guy a turn off?
And if you (the girl) don't have a picture of yourself on facebook as profile picture does it mean you have self esteem issues?
>>
>>17281827
Depends on the person, just like with guys. Some women have barely thought about it and just spout their own opinion as universal, or repeat what they tell themselves they like (which is really a somewhat cleaned up version of what they like). Some women do have the awareness and then it is valuable because you have an added insight that a man can never give. On the other hand a woman can never truly know what it's like to approach and go after a woman as a man.

It also depends on the subject matter. The above was mostly assuming that the guy would primarily be interested in what women are attracted to and how a guy should behave to get women.
If you have a more everyday question that is less loaded, like "girl I know said/acted like x, what could have happened to cause this" I would say women definitely are better in tune with that than men.
>>
>>17281827
Personally, I despise whiteknights. I can handle myself, thank you very much.

I do however like having orbiters. Yes, I know it's kind of mean to lead them on. Yes, I know it's wrong to toy with their emotions. But whatever.

I wouldn't purposefully give advice to "create" them though.
>>
>>17281839
>Girls: Is a bad facebook profile picture of a guy a turn off?
If I never met you IRL and you look ugly in the pictures you show me, I'm going to assume you're ugly.
If we actually met and I think you're attractive, I don't care about that.
My ex boyfriend was ugly as fuck in his profile picture but he was the fucking cutest thing on earth in real life, and I didn't give a shit.

>And if you (the girl) don't have a picture of yourself on facebook as profile picture does it mean you have self esteem issues?
Yes. And that you're a bit of a moron, too.
>>
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I'm young and dont have more than $50 to spend on my gf for our anniversary (tomorrow). What do I do to make the little go a long way? I guess I have some more cash but still not much. Gifts etc?
>>
>>17281881
You can buy nice looking metal bracelet or necklace for less than that
>>
>>17281886
What kinda places can I go to? Do big jewelry places sell anything that cheap?
>>
>>17281881
Write a long letter about how much you love her. Include lots of specific stuff like personal little things you like about her (like "the little freckles on your back"), favorite memories of her (bonus points for really including your own point of view, not just "that time we" etc but something she said that struck you or an association you had that made you feel more intense), a bucket list of things you want to do together.

Then get her a bouquet of flowers, if you don't know what flowers she likes get them in her favorite color, some treat like chocolate and a sweet little gift that preferably has a personal meaning. Like a little stuffed animal because she talked about wanting that specific one (animal) as a kid and never got it. If you know nothing like that, get her an album or book that you personally really enjoy and include a note with why you think or hope she'll like it as well. Ditch the flowers if this is getting too expensive and/or you know that she dislikes getting them.
>>
>>17281893
Thanks anon. Any advice on getting jewelry?
>>
>>17281891
I don't know for USA, I'm from EU
But I bought most jewellery you can think of to my last gf for our anniversaries and her birthdays (except a ring, for obvious reasons)
And I bought all of them except one for less than 50€
>>
>>17281897
That makes sense about the ring, were they from fine jewelers or other places?
>>
>>17281903
They were from a store chain specialized in jewelry
Around here, you can find one or two in each commercial center
>>
>>17281895
I don't know how often she personally wears it but I wouldn't risk it. Most girls are pretty particular in what they like in that regard, not just whether it's classic or funky or gothic or vintage but also gold/silver, which precious stones they like and dislike, whether they think bracelets are cute or a pain to feel shifting around your arm all day and so on. If she's the type to wear jewelry all the time, raid her stash and look for patterns. Is it girly? Is it more ladylike than girly? Is it more tomboyish than either? Or artsy femme fatale style?

Also, if she never wears jewelry, I wouldn't go for it just because it's a typical anniversary gift. At least to me it's more meaningful to show that you know what -she- likes than go "you're a girl so here's a necklace" when you've never seen her wear one.

>tl;dr possibility, but somewhat risky
>>
>>17281881
Depends a lot on what kind of person she is, and you probably know it better than we do.

Personally, I don't really like cheap and useless gifts, I prefer if my boyfriend buys me something I need, something related to my hobbies or if he does something himself.
For anniversaries, I usually got some flowers and a small gift. We also take a small trip together, and I prepare a little pic nic.

My boyfriend is really broke so most of the gifts he gave me are homemade. He made me a sort of "adventure book" like the one from the pixar movie Up. He recorded himself reading my favourite book, so I got a sort of personalized audio book. It was fucking cute. He made me a card with a quote from a book I love and some drawings, I still have it framed over my bed. He wrote me a short story. He gave me a copy of his favourite book after having it all underlined and full of notes.

I also like these >>17281893 suggestions.
>>
I'm 25.

Can I fuck a 13y/old?
>>
>>17281992

in Mexico you can
>>
>>17281993
I'm not in mexico
>>
TO women:

There's this girl who is kinda nice in class but on FB, only talks to me when I talk to her and our conversations always end with either part not responding more. A few days ago, we talked and she said I should go visit her town/tell her when I'll be there?
But she doesn't initiate conversations.
Some insight? I'm damn sure she isn't shy.
>>
>>17282045
Insight into what? She's being friendly. You don't need to analyze it.
>>
>>17282056
Only friendly, without any kind of agenda, right? Who would even tell another to tell them when they'd be in their town? I don't even do that to my own family.
>>
>>17282069
>Who would even tell another to tell them when they'd be in their town?
Normal people? That's not an unusual thing for someone to say... at all.
>>
>>17281761
Try smiling or at least not frowning.
Are your eyes bright?
Bonus points.
>>
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>>17282121

Here's me smiling. I think I look better not smiling, but maybe I'm wrong. My eyes are gray, kinda dark gray though.
>>
>>17281459
How short, and how skinny?

I'm 5' 6" and about 120 lbs. I'm not unhealthy or the shortest guy around. But I also don't embody the big, muscled, tall guy that a LOT of women are after.

Most girls want a guy taller than themselves. Exceptions can be made. It's one of many things that you can be ruled out for so don't sweat it too much.

The thing to remember is that nobody is perfect. I used to be exactly like you, but I'm not nearly as shy or timid as I used to be (working a job that forces me to talk to people helped tremendously with this). I think if there is anything for you to work on it'd be your shyness and timidness. You have probably been that way most of your life and identified with it, but it's something you can change and will make your life easier. Not just with women but with life in general.

You might consider gaining weight with more muscle mass, if you feel like you're under eating and not just skinny because of a fast metabolism.

Moral of the story is you're not SOL but you can also be improved. Everyone has room to improve.
>>
so i matched a bunch of people on tindr but i didn't expect that and i don't know how to initiate conversations with randoms

tips
>>
My boyfriend is sixteen and I'm twenty. This might seem weird but I met his parents and they are okay with it. Is there anything I should be concerned about? Is the age gap weird to anyone? He is very into me and I don't want to fuck him up in the long run. Alternatively people can change a lot from sixteen to an adult so it is worrying.
>>
Women:
Can you define what "woman" means? What it means to be a woman?
>inb4 it means standing up for yourself having a career etc.
No, I mean, as opposed to being a man. What makes women women as opposed to men?
Is it simply and only having a vagina? Is a woman just a man with a vagina? (like saying a man is a woman with a penis)
>inb4 having kids
Not all women can have kids.
>inb4 DNA
What does the DNA change, what makes it more than just a letter x or y?
What defines being a woman?
>>
>>17282229

I don't know, what does being a man mean? My gender doesn't mean anything to me and only recently reading about trans people did I realize this is actually really important to most people.
>>
>>17282238
Exactly. Everyone would assume they know what it means but I've asked many people so far and noone could really answer me. Some morons take offense in someone questioning their knowledge of their own gender but they can't give a definition themselves.
I don't know what being a man means either. And same, I've also recently started questioning it.
I don't know if this proves genders should be treated 100% equally until actual general differences that aren't specific to each person are found.
>>
>>17282238
>this is actually really important to most people
You've been fooled
>>
What's the best way to deal with an asshole who never has time for the relationship you're supposed to be in? He knows how I feel and doesn't give a shit. Just acts like a dick and thinks I'll take anything, and still stay with him.

Is just walking away without a word the best solution?
>>
>>17282284

be honest and tell him why you're breaking up, he probably won't listen right now but maybe eventually he will realise he treated yoiu badly and try to become a better person with somebody new

it's not like this has happened to me
>>
>>17279201
>>17279206
I'm getting no reply, she could have switched phone number in those 2 years or she just doesn't care. Oh well, worth a shot, good to see that pessimism is still correct.
>>
>>17282319
Even though it's just repeating the same thing I've told him many times, I really should then.

I don't think he'll ever realize it and just keep on thinking he's perfect. He won't change. Even if he would, I sure as hell won't be anywhere near him ever again.
>>
>>17282253

I guess it has to do with what people presume is their place in society and how other people might judge them, fitting in seems crucial to most people. I don't really care to integrate into society or what others think of me so it's quite an unnatural mindset for me to think about how much the average person worries about how they present themselves.

>>17282256

Well it seems most guys get really insecure if they seem feminine (being short, being physically weak, having few sex partners, having a low sex drive, having a small penis, not being good in bed, not being good at sports, not having a car, not being good with manual labor type hobbies, having a weak jawline, being too emotional, being seen as gay, not having a high paying job, raising someone else's child, ect) and most girls get really insecure if they seem masculine (being fat, poor fashion sense, poorly kept hair, having body hair, high sex drive, many sexual partners, approaching men to ask them out or for intimacy in a relationship, having to assert themselves, being taller than their boyfriend, earning more money than their boyfriend, spending money on their boyfriend, not wearing makeup, letting slip swears, not being interested in relationships or children, ect).

I was also reading about various torture techniques and a common theme I came across was undermining peoples gender identity by shaving women's heads or forcing men to wear girls panties, which just seems a bit funny to me but literally makes people kill themselves when various government bodies around the world do it to people they're abusing.
>>
How to get hatesex?
>>
Girls:
If a guy asks you out right in front of another guy who's friends with both you and him, is it rude?
>>
>>17282371
>intentionally pissing off a woman
What a good idea.
>>
>>17282215
The only thing you should worry about is the fuck part but at all there's nothing to worry about. Have a good time with him and just love eachother. I was in the same situation but i was the younger male part.
>>
>>17282383
No, I wouldn't call that rude. It might be extra awkward though if I turn you down.
>>
>>17282453
I see, thanks. I wouldn't find it awkward to me as the guy, but I'd be worried if being awkard for her would be the reason she would have rejected me.
>>
>>17282473
On the contrary, it being awkward for her might pressure her to say yes as the easier path.
>>
>>17282479
Damnit!! And here I was being mad about how that guy friend didn't leave us 2 alone back then. Oh well, I'll find another moment hopefully.
>>
>>17282487
No need to "find a moment". Don't make it a big deal. Just ask her "hey, you want to go to the blank with me this weekend?" next time you see her.
>>
>>17282524
thanks
>>
Girls,

I like you do you like me?
>>
>>17282540
Sure, but only as a friend.

Well... maybe "friend" is too strong a word. Let's go with "tolerable stranger" instead.
>>
>>17282540
Are you rich and handsome with a 12" cock?
>>
>>17282540
If i was a girl i would love you.
As a man, i love you.
>>
How can I tell if a guy friend is romantically interested in me without asking him? Generally speaking that is. I'm super shy and wouldn't be able to stand the humiliation. We're both close to 30, so no "guys and girls can't be friends" tween bs.
>>
>>17282578
Does he seem to pay extra attention to you, make dirty jokes with you, or initiate physical contact? Asking him is the best way to get results though.
>>
Guys, how common are men who think like >>17281187?

>girl hasn't actually done anything
>how can I have the last laugh??
>>
>>17282590
We don't really hang out just the two of us but he occasionally writes to me about things he thinks I would enjoy. Also we joke about pretty much everything and he stares at me when he thinks I'm not looking but he's impossible to read. He's pretty friendly flirty with everyone.
>>
>>17282606
Sounds like he's just been stung by flakers too many times and is paranoid and very defensive about it.
>>
>>17282606
Most guys don't date guys so you probably have a better feel for it than we do. Besides
>girl hasn't actually done anything
is kind of the point isn't it?

>>17282578
>We're both close to 30,
Then stop acting like a teenager.
>>
>>17282606

Not as common as you'd think from being on 4chan, but not non existent.

>>17282578
>How can I tell if a guy friend is romantically interested in me without asking him?
>We're both close to 30,
Ask your friends.

But also... you're close to 30 :/. You should be old enough to know you need to actually live your life.

Story time:
>My girlfriend has a friend who's super shy and one of the sweetest people ever
>She is close to 30 as well and has never had a serious boyfriend
>One day she met a guy who she was "just friends" with
>All of her friends knew she was falling hard for this guy but she'd always say, "No. I'm not, what are you guys talking about?"
>They spend more and more time together, but he's kind of a troubled individual with a somewhat sordid history.
>She helps him through a lot, and through it all she keeps insisting there's nothing going on between them
>One day he vanishes.
>She's distraught and starts to call around trying to find him
>She randomly checks a motel on a gut feeling
>She sees his car in the lot
>She finds him in the tub, dead.
>She realizes she's been in love with him for the past 6 months and she's been feeling things she's never felt with any other guy, but now it's too late. She never said anything, and she'd be trying to convince herself this was something else. Maybe if she'd said something, things could have been different, and maybe he never would have ended up where he was. Now all she has is regret, and loss.

This happened a month ago.

You're old enough to know that life is short, and letting your own trivial shit get in your way is just dumb.
>>
>>17282424
How did that work out for you? If you don't mind me asking.
>>
>>17282704

I know how to live my life, I'm just shy. It's not that usual here in Finland to just ask people out the way americans do. We don't date the same way either.
>>
>>17282149
people love to talk about themselves. So initiate conversation that revolves around them and respond by answer the question yourself. And then transition some flirtyness.
>>
A girl posts me pictures of her legs, shes into me right?
>>
>>17282732
Is Finland as fucking depressing as I've heard everyone say?
>>
>>17282782
Either that or you're so damn far into the friend zone there's no way out. I'm inclined to say she's into you though.
>>
>>17282796
I know her like 2 hours through tinder.
>>
>>17282790
It's probably manageable here if you're drunk most of your life. I don't drink alcohol.
>>
>>17282811
Then she's totally in to you.
>>
>>17282562
12 inches doesn't seem like it'd be comfortable for either the guy or a girl without a cavernous vagina
>>
>>17282563
Thanks bro <3
>>
>>17282866
I take large 14 inch dragon dildos all the time, so if it isn't at least 12 inches, it's like I can't feel it at all. So many men are just inadequate like that. Why we even bother feeling sorry for them.
>>
Guys: would you feel emasculated if your wife was the primary income earner and provider for the family?
>>
>>17282921
Maybe a little bit, but I'm sort of competitive.
>>
>>17282921
Yes. And I'd beat her daily to make up for it.
>>
Girlfriend talks about us getting married and stuff but doesn't show any affection. Why?
>>
>>17282947
Never? Why are you with someone who doesn't show any affection? What are you getting from this relationship?
>>
>>17282947
maybe she's just more show than tell. Does she show her affection through actions such as cooking, cleaning, gifts, etc? Rather than being affectionate physically with kisses, hugging, sexual acts etc
>>
>>17282876
It's not their fault! Men can't choose what size dinger they have
>>
>>17282947
How is she not affectionate? Like what do you want that she's not giving you?
>>
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Hey, it's me, that anon from a day ago who needed kissing advice.

I used the tips you gave me on making out and my girlfriend stopped me mid-kiss and gave me a weird look, mentioning how much better i was.

>mfw

Is there any way I can step up my game? So far all I do is stay in perfect sync and bite her lips, but what else can I do to make kissing more exciting for her?
>>
>>17282962
>>17282969
She's been very depressesed recently so I'm reluctant to force the issue but she doesn't seem to initiate any hugs or kisses. She seems selfish recently but it was out of the blue and even her friends and family say she's changed for the worst recently
>>
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I have a 4 inch penis & with I'm a size queen who hasn't seen it what do
>>
>>17283026
>she's been very depressed

Well there you go. That's why she's not all that affectionate.
>>
>>17282921
No. I'd be happy we'd be making more money. Hell, I'd be a house husband if it was required.
>>
>>17283032
Never ever have sex with her.
>>
>>17282876
hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahah funny
>>
depressed, i fuck up everything around me. im a failure overweight gamer girl. im super paraniod and anger easily. my only release is booze and fucking
>>
>>17283189
That's not a question.
>>
too drunk to care xD bye
>>
Tomorrow i'll probably lose my virginity. I'm an oldfuck closing on wizard. I meet this girl looking for casual sex on craigslist. No photo or anything, but she was very direct about it being just for fun. We'll meet in a public park and she told me if i don't like her looks we can just drop it.
Is this too good to be true, or do casual meet ups go like this most of the time?
>>
>>17282704
>This happened a month ago.

I think you mean it happened a few minutes ago in your imagination.
>>
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This question is for both genders. Please specify your gender in your reply.

How hot does a guy/girl have to be for you to consider sleeping with him/her even if he/she has a really unattractive personality?
>>
>>17283293
F
No personality, no deal.
>>
I have an issue with a girl I really like, but can't be with ending up with a nutter. Please just anybody give advice.

So basically I sit in a shit situation largely of my own making. The girl I love and want to be happy chose a Fucking nutter.

I chose to act in a way to push her away and keep her a friend because my issues with family were more significant. I kissed her twice, used to talk to her for hours on whatsapp, and now its gone. Now it would be fine if she had. chosen a decent bloke but she chose a legit nutter who is nothing but a bundle of self pity and autism.

The man calls her a slag a lot (I get how it works I wasn't a gentleman as such either but to excess), he is constantly a cunt to people, and posts 4chan memes a lot on odd Facebook and whatsapp. In addition to this, the cunt found out my internet names and spied on me, found out I liked the girl, and tried to manipulate me through it into alienating her. The cunt constantly feels sorry for himself, he tried to cut himself in front of everyone at a party and I sat there with him for 10 minutes trying to talk him out of it while nobody else cared. He gave no reason for it. Meanwhile, my whole family is falling apart, my dad is a legit psycho abuse Fucking arsehole, my mum is dying and my brother is cutting himself and I don't whine at all.

I now almost want to forget my homelife and be with her just to help her dodge the Fucking nutter, what do I do? Is there anything I can do?

She's the kindest girl I have ever met I don't want to see her end up with an emotionally unstable creep who will cause nothing but short term happiness and long term pain. I have no doubt I sound like a cunt but as you can imagine I'm in a really shit mood. We are all 18.
>>
>>17283272
Most of the time if it's from craigslist it's either a fat single mom or a tranny. Sounds like you set it up in a good way though so you can just bail if it's not kosher.
>>
The girl I like continues to steal kisses from me but when I go for a kiss she rejects me. I even asked nicely instead of doing what shes doing and got politely rejected.

She texts me afterwards too which leaves me thinking about her until I fall asleep. I dont want to ignore her because that would be rude. I see her too often to get away with it but I'm tired of the blue balls. How do I politely tell her to calm down?
>>
Girls and guys

so I have a female friend who I care for very much. She's very special to me and I like her a lot. It's clear that I have feelings for her. She knows this and has said she likes me too. But because of distance we know we can't be together.

Anyways, I'm very emotional about her (privately of course). If we are talking, she says she's not doing well. It effects my mood. I've felt really down all week. Because she's being going through a rough time. I just want her to be happy. She deserves to be happy. Even when she gets a boyfriend one day, even tho I really wish I could be that guy.. As long as he treats her right and makes her happy, then that's all I want for her.

Is this ok? Is it ok to feel this way about someone you can't have?
>>
>>17283318
She is keeping you as a clingy beta orbiter, next time she does that shit pinch her breasts or slap her with your fist.
>>
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>>17283318
Also stop being nice to women, that's why they walk all over you.

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
Guys, how would you take it if a girl told you you looked better with longer hair? Or.... how can I ask my boyfriend to grow out his hair (just a couple inches) because he keeps getting it cut short in a way that doesn't flatter his face at all? I don't want to offend him.
>>
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>>17283351
I wouldn't really care for your advice, short hair is very convenient.
>>
>>17281633
in 2008 maybe
>>17281761
seem pretty normal looking, either shave completely or let your stubble grow out more though
>>
>>17283351

Example of how much?


My hair used to be very short. Police style haircut. A female friend told me she thought I should grow it just a bit more. Not a lot more, but a bit longer. So I listened, and even after some immense worry, it worked out. And I like my hair like this now
>>
>>17283293
M, I'll fuck a solid 8 with a bad personality if I was single but I'd probably never talk to her again.
>>
>>17283334
>>17283336
I'm not the one clinging though. I keep to myself she comes to me. she's nice and I'd much rather not get physical

thanks anon
>>
>>17283296
Kill the crazy, get the girl.
But seriously you should talk to her about him. You two are obviously close and she probably trusts you.
>>
>>17281992
>>17281998
then that's a hard no, pedo
>>17282578
without asking, have someone else ask for you
>>17282606
rejection happens, most people can walk away from a flake
>>17282921
no
>>17283293
m, i'm not desperate enough to sleep with bad people
>>17283351
>"I like your hair a little longer"
>>
>>17283318
Turn the tables on her. Next time she tries that shit politely reject her.
>>
>>17283383
That's gonna be difficult because you know exactly what she's gonna think if I mention that to her.
>>
>>17283391
Then the alternative is to let her figure out his problems on her own. Or maybe try talking to the guy, encourage him to get help, threaten to kill him if he messes with her, that kind of stuff.
>>
>>17283397
Fuck the cunt. He spied on me, knew I liked her and still asked her out anyway.

She could also say I'm a cunt for pushing her away(which I am), say I'm just jealous and keep going regardless.
>>
Girls:

How can you tell when a girl is just flat out not interested or getting you to chase? This one chick I'm currently talking to is confusing the fucking life out of me.
>>
>>17283366
He seems to get his hair cut once every 1-2 months, I think just for the sides, since the top stays a little longer, and it ends up looking like a dumber version of Brad Pitt in Fight Club. It makes his face look really narrow, and I wish he would have it more like same-length-all-around like it was a couple years ago. There's one picture he knows is my favorite, and his hair is probably 1.5 inches longer but not incredibly long. But is length a big deal for guys? Because as a girl, my hair can grow another 6 inches before it starts to really bother me.
>>
>>17282135
Hello Elliot
>>
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>>17283433

We have different definitions of long hair. I think pic related' hair is long. My hair is similar but just a bit shorter than his. Before I took the advice from my friend, it was much much shorter.

Short hair is so much easier in general
>>
>>17282135
What's wrong with your mouth?
>>
>>17283450
Oh wow, that's considered "long"? I guess the top of his hair is that length, but the fact the sides are almost shaved irks the shit out of me, because he has light colored hair and the shorter side lengths make his hair look thinner.
When your friend advised you to grow it out, do you remember how she worded it? Would it be bad to say to him that he looked "better" with longer hair?
>>
>>17283453

Her- "you should let your hair grown a bit longer!"

me- "ohhhh so you don't like my hair now?"

Her-"no, it's not bad. Just.. It could be better ;) "
>>
>>17283351
I might consider it, especially if it was my girlfriend telling me. Then again, my hair is already long. Just ask him. The worst that happens is he doesn't want to.
>>
Does girls actually like chubby guys or with belly? Or thats just a meme?
>>
>>17283519
that's not even a meme, who told you that. gross
>>
>>17283351
i'd like it but i'm biased as fuck because i kind of prefer to have longer hair

but i think that if my gf preferred short hair i wouldn't really mind if they wanted me to cut it
>>
Girls that ghost
Why do you do it?
>>
Girls, do you like when a guy is semi religious? Like goes to church every now and then? Or should I just make up my mind and either go all in or stop entirely?
>>
>>17283588
Girls who are also semi-religious will like it
>>
>>17283328

anyone?
>>
>>17283548
same reason guys do it
either youre unstable/crazy, or they lack the fortitude to be direct about their desire to discontinue their involvement with you
>>
What's something special I can do for a girl that I'm talking to online on her birthday? I was thinking about writing a poem or something but that seems cringey.
>>
Girls: If a guy who's friends or sort of friends with you asks you to go to the movies the two of you, do you assume it's a date?
Did you ever go on a date without knowing it was a date? How did you feel/react?
>>
Girls: what makes a guy's ass nice?
I know the qualities of a female ass (roundness, thickness, shape), but about a man's?
>>
>>17283717
same criteria, different parameters
>>
>>17283704
Have you hung out before just platonically and was it ever just the two of you?
>>
Why the fuck is it that when a girl says hi to me and i say hi back she laughs?
>>
Boo is a good thing to be called by a girl right
>>
>>17283748
We never hung out just the two of us, we were always with other mutual friends around.
>>
>>17283789
Then I'd assume it was probably a date.
>>
What does it mean when my boyfriend doesn't seem to care when guys hit on me and make me blatantly uncomfortable?
>>
>>17283812
I don't know. Have you tried asking him about it? I bet you could garner a lot of insight of you did.
>>
>>17283826
We just aren't there in the relationship and I dont want to turn it into a fight.
>>
>>17283827
It means he wants to see your fat body hunched over a superior black cock
>>
>>17283827
It probably means that he doesn't really notice it or thinks it doesn't bother you.
>>
>>17283781
How does she laugh? Give details.

>>17283784
Yes.
>>
>>17283829
why do you have to make everything weird
>>
>>17283857
He's the one that wont defend your honor
>>
>>17283189
That makes me horny
>>
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>>17283189
You had me until
>and fucking
>>
Do women enjoy cuddling? By this I don't mean [cuddling with your SO] or [cuddling after sex], but does the physical act of lying close to someone with full skin on skin contact, arms around each other, caressing each others' bodies actually give you physical pleasure?

The background: I have always had a fixation on wanting to just cuddle with women, while having no interest in sex and unsure what I want in a relationship- and the ideal situation for me would be a partner who enjoys being touched any time and has as high a need for physical intimacy as I do.

But learning more and more how men and women are attracted to different things, and that women mostly are attracted to what men DO for her rather then his body (unless he's a 10/10 Chad), I am starting to internalize the fact that
>>
>>17283894
accidentally hit post- I'm coming to realize that women may not actually enjoy just lying together hugging me, whereas for me it is the apex of sensual pleasure. I have been told such things on 4chan that women want to be dominated and held and spooned, but just lying around intimately embracing would bore them. Furthermore, its been pointed out that its seen as creepy and objectifying if all I care about in women is wanting to touch their body, and so I might as well just get a realdoll I can spoon with any time.

So TLDR: Is it realistic to want a gf who actually enjoys cuddling endlessly, but not having sex? I don't want sex because I'm a recovered masturbation addict- fapped so much I shortened my dick actually, and I also am firmly antinatalist/childfree and will only feel comfortable if I practice abstinence so I never have to worry about pregnancy scares ever.
>>
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To both genders: I keep reading shit on this board like >>17283773
>I'm sure she's cool, but there's lots of cool girls in the world.
>Nobody has a "One True Love," you have lots of potential One True Loves out there and one day you'll meet one who you connect with just as strongly.
>I guarantee it.
>Try to keep that in mind intellectually even if on a gut level it feels impossible.

I've never seen anyone try to justify or explain this sentiment though. Is it just a generic platitude like "it gets better" or "there's someone up there watching over you", or are there actual, solid reasons to believe it?
>>
>>17283894
>>17283906
Fuck yeah, I like cuddling. It's what my boyfriend and I spend most of our time together doing. I wouldn't mind as long as I got sex every now and then, I don't have a high sex drive but I do like sex.
>>
>>17283917
I don't believe that anyone can say either way for sure.
>>
>>17283917
Get out of your parents' basement once in a while and you'll find true love.

>platitude

FOH
>>
Girls, if you're having a shitty day, is there anything a guy can do to make you feel better or just make you feel better or make your day less shitty? Or, to guys, is there anything you've done to cheer up a girl that has worked?
>>
I've never been more enamored with a girl in my life. Every time we talk, I just feel humiliated. We have a good time, but I'm to in my own head to just go for it. It would be long distance, in to ca. I can't help but feel she's worth it tho.

It's just a cold ambivalence under it all and idk what to do. I'll never have the courage.
>>
>>17284021
You sound 12 years old.

Grow a set and meet a girl where you live.
>>
>>17284022
I have no problem talking to women. It's just that I'm fixated on this person. No one else is quite the same. So yeah I agree I don't have the balls, but not for the reason you're sayin. I want this person more than anything, but know it won't work out which = no balls.

Also, I met this person irl, but they were passin through town.
>>
>>17283906
Cuddling is great - with a boyfriend that you love. As a man it's probably all the physical for you. But for women it's the physical intertwined with the feeling/intimacy. No feelings involved means it's just something to put up with
>>
>>17283917

The idea is, live in the moment.

Stop trying to use superficial what if's to blind you reality and what is actually in front of you.

Don't put people on pedestals, but don't keep comparing people to unrealistically perfect idols that don't actually exist anywhere else except in your head.

Every single individual is flawed, for better or worse. So gind someone who's flaws and jagged edges complement your own--who both help you become a better person, and who you do the same for

Live in the real world, in the present.

>>17283827
>>17283812
>What does it mean when my boyfriend doesn't seem to care when guys hit on me and make me blatantly uncomfortable?
>We just aren't there in the relationship and I dont want to turn it into a fight.

If that's something that will legitimately start a fight, I'm sorry to say, this relationship will probably not work out.

The cornerstone of a healthy, stable relationship is being able to communicate with your partner. If you're afraid to do that, then your future looks bleak.

>>17283678
>What's something special I can do for a girl that I'm talking to online on her birthday? I was thinking about writing a poem or something but that seems cringey.

It's online, who gives a fuck. Do it if you want to. They're either ok with it or they're not.

>>17283351
>Guys, how would you take it if a girl told you you looked better with longer hair?

*shrug* I wouldn't mind, but I also wouldn't necessarily do it.

My girlfriend's already said she likes it when I have longer hair and leave it to curl, but I find it a pain in the ass, so I rarely do it.

Is what it is.
>>
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>>17281848
>I do however like having orbiters. Yes, I know it's kind of mean to lead them on. Yes, I know it's wrong to toy with their emotions. But whatever.
Women in a nutshell.
>>
>>17281848
>I do however like having orbiters. Yes, I know it's kind of mean to lead them on. Yes, I know it's wrong to toy with their emotions. But whatever.

Seek help. You give the rest of us a bad reputation.
>>
>>17281105
Do grills find a monotone voice a turnoff? I'm neutral in voice and personality, I figure I might be schizoid but there's no reason to get diagnosed.
>>
>>17284183
yes
>>
>>17284186
Damn. I've tried faking emotion but it's just too hard.
>>
>>17283189
The weight issue is simple enough, and hell as a bigger guy myself I actually tend to seek out chubby women who are also working on their weight problem.

The paranoia and anger are a lot more serious though. An actual therapist to help you actually address the reasons that make you behave that way is suggested.
>>
>>17283328
>so I have a female friend who I care for very much.
>If we are talking, she says she's not doing well. It effects my mood.
>Is this ok? Is it ok to feel this way about someone you can't have?

This is unhealthy.

I have a female friend who I think of like a little sister. I adore her, think the world of her, and wish her all the best. When she's doing badly, I feel badly for her, and part of me wants to be there to give her a hug and be there for her (we currently live half a thousand miles apart).

But I have my own life and am adult enough that I don't let anyone else's misfortunes mess with me being able to handle my own shit.

She is my friend, and that's it. I love her, but in a different way to how I love my girlfriend, and my priority is always on me, my family, my girlfriend, and then her and my other friends.

Where you are, is unhealthy.

You need to be less attached to this girl. Even if she WAS your girlfriend, her having that much power over you is unhealthy.

Not only are you letting her stuff overwhelming yours, you're also pining after her in a way that is interrupting the flow of your own progression and very probably blinding you to anything else going on around you--so even if anyone else is around you, you probably don't see them.


>>17283293
>How hot does a guy/girl have to be for you to consider sleeping with him/her even if he/she has a really unattractive personality?

10/10 with me blackout drunk, maybe stoned, and single on a very dry spell.

Even then... probably not.

Dispassionate sex is boring as fuck.
>>
>>17284189
Its just a person thing in general, no one likes talking to emotionally dead people they dont engage us. Try prescription drugs, if it makes you feel bad about yourself youre probably not a sociopath or anything.
>>
>>17284183

You can train yourself to use inflections.

It takes a lot of hard work and self-awareness but it's definitely possible (personal experience).

It helps if you work on your projection and annunciation more (I.e. don't whisper and slur words)
>>
>>17282921
I don't think so. To be blunt I doubt that would happen, but as long as she doesn't act retarded about how she's technically the breadwinner I don't see why I'd give a fuck.

>>17283519
Some do, most don't. Kind of like how some men are chub chasers and most arent.
>>
what should a little sister call her older brother?
>>
>>17284199
>Try prescription drugs
That's a last resort option if I can't figure out another way. I just feel dull all the time though, nothing engages me.
>>17284202
I'll keep trying then.
>>
Girls,

What's a good first date for you?
>>
can i have sex with dogs? would a girl think thats werid.. er.... idk :P it feels pretty good lawl :D ... :|
>>
>>17284209
byubber
>>
>>17284213
Romantic view, a picnic blanket and a suicide pact
>>
>>17284215
uhh wot.. wtf lol u merd
>>
>>17284209
bitch tits/lord of the fags
>>
>>17284209
in bed or in general?
>>
>>17284210
>I'll keep trying then.

Keep in mind, you will not get instant results. It takes months, probably YEARS before you will make changes, and you probably won't notice them even if you do.

You just actively practice doing them until they become habitual and they sink in to your persona without you ever noticing.

The first time I got complimented on my smile and how friendly I was, I was completely taken aback because it was a change that took maybe 5 years or more to sink in and become natural (I was around 22 or 23 at the time).
>>
>>17284213
Basically anything in the OP, and I'm not just saying that because I wrote it.
>>
>>17284227
what about lmetno god of trees and whistles
>>
>>17284183
Definitely

>>17284011
Depends on what you are to me, the mood I'm in, and whether you're doing it to get into my pants
>>
>>17284235
what about you being a gay fagit? u smell like dildos crap
>>
>>17284235
Sounds gay. I keep it traditional and call my siblings faggot.

>>17284215
Reminds me of that chick who fucked a dog, and people out her real name and location through two pictures.

Good times.
>>
>>17284242
what about bronze drawfio
>>
>>17284238
Friend and coworker, not actively trying to get into her pants, though I'm not entirely sure she doesn't want to get into mine.
>>
>>17284011
cuddles and chocolate bars
>im not a girl btw
>>
>>17284011
>Or, to guys, is there anything you've done to cheer up a girl that has worked?

Bring them flowers, or just ask them what's up and give them a hug, a compliment, a smile, and reassurances that they have my ear if they need it.

That being said, I work in flowers and have near infinite access, and the kind of guy girls will talk to just to talk.
>>
>>17284264
Does chocolate really work on girls? But... who just carries chocolate around with them. Isn't that kind of weird?
>that's okay, anon.
>>
girls
would you put a hamster in your pants or a cat between your tits?
>>
>>17284273

Chocolate works on everyone (unless they're allergic)

It's literally biology.

Eating chocolate triggers endorphin that lessen pain and reduce stress.
>>
>>17284269
She'll usually talk to me about anything, but I notice she's the kind of person who seems to feel worse having to talk about what's going on when she's down, like it does more harm than help. So asking her details doesn't seem to be a good response. Flowers seems nice, but a bit too romantic for where we are right now. Thanks though.
>>
Girls: what is your favorite flower?
>>
>>17284281
Is that a fucking joke? A cat, obviously. A goddamn hamster would probably bite me, and at least you can hold a cat facing away from you in a way that they can't scratch you if they get pissed.

Why the fuck would anyone want a hamster in their pants, anon
>>
>>17284286
I'm not big on flowers, but I like daffodils
>>
>>17284286
Orchids or bearded irises. My friends joke that I like vagina flowers. But I think roses are pretty in arrangements with other flowers.
>>17284293
Daffodils are pretty too.
>>
>>17284286
Lily of the valley and daffodils.
>>
>>17284286
Not sure if they technically count as flowers but I love baby's breath. Other than that, poppies.
>>
>>17284251
How about nigger faggot instead
>>
>>17284233
People actually say I'm calm and friendly already, it's a thin facade though.
>>
I'm being sent what I thought were obvious signals. But she has a bf.

So what the fuck am I supposed to think/do?
>>
Hey gals.

What do I need to do to find a good girl? I just want somebody that I can trust and spend time with and do things that I love.
>>
>>17284336
Post obvious signals.
>>
>>17284340
>Post obvious signals.
What are they?
>>
>>17284344
No I meant, detail what you thought were obvious signals.
>>
>>17284286

Not a female, but as this anon
>>17284269
>I work in flowers and have near infinite access,

Peonies, Hydrangeas, Tulips, Casablanca Lilies, Daffodils, Dendrobium Orchids, Pom Daisies, Matsumotos, Chinamum (chrysanthemum), Sun Flowers

On the fringe is stuff like, Blue Erynium, alstromeria's, tuberoses, calla lilies,

Carnation and roses are hit or miss. They like them when they get them and are a safe bet, but rarely are they actual favorites (a lot of women's favorites tend to be more unique and very specific flowers)
>>
>>17284340
Constantly messaging. Says weird shitskins, can't keep hands off me.
>>
>>17284364
>shitskins
kek. Autocorrect is weird. I don't even use that word. Meant "shit" obviously
>>
>>17282284
>in a relationship with a terrible person
>still together with them

There is your problem
>>
>>17282921
Hell no, I think it's every mans dream to be a stay at home husband
>>
>>17284364
>>17284370
Two most likely possibilities:

>her relationship does not satisfy her, but she doesn't have the spine (or desire itself) to break up and instead is grooming you into her back up boyfriend for when her current boyfriend fucks up or leaves her

>she's an attentionwhore and despite her boyfriend giving her love she craves knowing that other people would also find her sexy and charming - you are a stand in for basically "the rest of the male population"

Either way, her behavior is immature and classless and very telling about the kind of person she is. Be happy that she's with someone else.
>>
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>>17284380
I literally get hard and the thought of working and supporting a family m80
>>
>>17284357
My mother taught me that carnations are cheap. I'm not sure what she has against them, but doesn't think any woman should ever be given carnations.
>>
>>17284402
I do too, but there comes a point where you hate working
>>
>>17283654
Great now I'm paranoid that she thinks I'm unstable. Only one girl has ever ghosted me though and that's probably why I'm butthurt. Ive never ghosted anyone though, even the girls that were unstable.
>>
A question for guys:
So, I went through a few (terrible) years of anorexia/bulimia, and I got down to 80 pounds. I was literally a skeleton, I had sexy hipbones and my spine was visible, etc. Honestly to this day I still think I looked perfect. But, I began recovering because it was simply killing me, and now I feel disgusting about myself. I have no idea what my weight actually is because I refuse to actually step foot on a scale because I'd surely have a fucking meltdown. My huge thigh gap closed in, my ass got a lot bigger, my stomach (which has always been my biggest problem area) is chubby, my arms are bigger, etc. Also I'm short. I just can't stand myself.
When I was around 100 pounds I lost my virginity to this guy who I've been talking to recently about fucking again, but I'm afraid the only reason he agreed is because he actually hasn't seen the extent of my weight gain yet, just my face (he's my best friend's brother so I only see him when I'm at his house, I was sitting down with a blanket both times he's seen me recently).
My actual question is, guys who do not have a chubby/fat fetish and typically fuck small/medium/average girls, does fucking a chubby girl disgust you? I have a pretty face, long blonde hair, nice skin, I'm not gross in any other way other than the chub. I also have very small perky boobs, which I feel is worse because I don't even have the big tits to distract from the rest of my body.
I mean, I'm not huge. I think it's the comparison of being 80 pounds and then this is what's concerning me. I just want to know if, to most guys, seeing belly jiggle while you're fucking a girl or seeing rolls when she's bent forward, things like that, are dealbreakers. I just don't want to embarrass myself with this guy. I am pretty fun and adventurous in bed, so I feel like that might help, although if you're completely repulsed by the person I'm sure it doesn't matter. I feel like I'm definitely overthinking this way too much tho lol
>>
>>17284407

It's probably because they're so commonplace.

Them are roses are the by far two most popular flowers; but roses are also twice+ as expensive.

Wholesale under regular pricing
Two dozen carnations are worth about $6-9.
(mini-carnations are $2.5-4)
Two dozen roses are $10-20

Roses also typically further undergo a 2x-4x retail markup because of how fragile and pain in the ass to clean they are (we also grow them, and they cost us about $5 for two dozen, but after factoring in spoilage, the real cost is closer to $8 out of $10)

Vs carnation which are MUCH less temperamental and typically only have a 20% retail markup.
>>
>>17283548
I told him I loved him. He told me he only liked me as a friend and had started dating some scene girl a couple weeks prior. I couldn't handle it so deleted him from everywhere. It would have been incredibly painful to stay in contact with him.
>>
>>17284426
you need a good psychiatrist first and foremost
>>
>>17284426
>guys who do not have a chubby/fat fetish and typically fuck small/medium/average girls, does fucking a chubby girl disgust you?

No. In fact too skinny and bony is definitely a drawback as well.

Every woman carries weight different, but the best is always a nice medium (or even just slightly toned), that way you get a nice soft cushion/feel to them instead of hard bone.
>>
Am I a bad person for feeling ashamed that i'm dating a girl that's kinda thicc.
I don't wana feel like an asshole, but i'm embarrassed to be seen with her.
Also, how do I get her to do anal? Drugs? Alcohol? A mixture of the two?
>>
>>17284443
Yes that makes you an asshole, but wanting to impair a girl to the point where you can get to put it in her ass despite her lack of enthusiasm is way worse.

And for the love of god, don't be that douche who has seen lots of anal sex and doesn't realize that in real life you need lots of lube and you can't pump away like it's a pussy in a bodily orifice not made to fuck. That is how a girl never wants to do anal again.
>>
>>17284449
>in real life you need lots of lube
True that. Get that gag reflex working because her anal integrity is gonna depend on the amount of spit she can produce.
>>
>>17284443
>I don't wana feel like an asshole, but i'm embarrassed to be seen with her.

Date someone else.

>Also, how do I get her to do anal? Drugs? Alcohol? A mixture of the two?

You don't want to do anal on a girl who don't want to.

It will not only tear her asshole, but it will probably crush your dick.
>>
>>17284449
I was hoping it would just cloud her judgement about it. Like loosen her up to the idea.

Note taken about not pounding away at the hershey highway. Will take precautions in the future desu
>>
>>17281812
You waited 14 days to reply and you're upset when she doesn't reply in 4?
>>
>>17284462
That's the thing, imagine you were with a girl who was asking her friends that she reaaally wanted to shove a plug up your butt, but because she was afraid you would not want to she'd wait until you were unguarded and hazy to suggest it so you might go with it anyway, would you not find that creepy and feel like this is a person you don't really want to be around, let alone want to unwind and let yourself go around?

It is one thing if it naturally happens that you've asked before and she said no, then says yes when tipsy, or it comes up spontaneously when drunk or something. Planning in advance to overwhelm someone when they're not in a clear mindset is all around gross.

And in case whatever strategy you're going to adapt works out, the important thing is to let her "wriggle down" your dick first, not shove it in yourself. It depends on the girl how painful or uncomfortable anal is. If this all goes very easily you can start slowly thrusting in her, and then let your pace depend on how well she takes that. If she's in pain but wants to continue trying, she needs to be the one who "thrusts" herself on you, not the other way around.
>>
>>17284472
First paragraph made my sides hurt. God damn that's some funny shit.

But, I get the points you're making here. Second paragraph is what I'm trying to accomplish, kinda like a nonchalant approach to it. Both of us comfortable and relaxed. I'm not trying to knock her out and make her asshole bleed with my cock.

I guess I could've worded my original post better.
>>
>>17284380
Not really. I have nothing against men who want to do that, but even if the wife made substantially more I doubt I'd be happy doing less than working at least part time.

>>17284426
>I got down to 80 pounds. I was literally a skeleton, I had sexy hipbones and my spine was visible, etc. Honestly to this day I still think I looked perfec
Jesus christ woman. The whole thigh gap thing was a joke pushed forward by /pol/ that caught on, along with the bikini bridge nonsense.

The fact you think that point of your life was the sexiest means you still have insane body image issues. You may think you're chubby right now, but I wouldn't be surprised if you're perfectly normal right now if not thinner.

You seriously need to talk about a therapist about this, this isn't the kind of problem you just walk off.
>>
>>17284443
>Am I a bad person for feeling ashamed that i'm dating a girl that's kinda thicc.
A bit, if just because you're wasting her time. If you don't want to date her don't, there's nothing wrong with that. But she deserves to be with a guy who is actually proud to have her.

Also I'm pretty sure that last part is at least dancing on the line between date rape. If you have to make someone mentally impaired to do something, you shouldnt.
>>
What could be a reason someone would refrain from telling you if they're interested, even after you asked them out?

I asked this girl out and she was down for it but wants to focus on studies right now, so in a couple of months. She still talks to me semi-regularly through Facebook though. Just about TV shows and shit, never anything deep. I don't know if she's interested or not. On one hand if she was I'd think she wouldn't hold back on a date. On the other hand she wouldn't be so willing to talk to me so often and/or be really kind if she wasn't.

I don't know how to go about subtly getting an answer from her. I could just wait the couple months but I'm too anxious right now and I don't really want to worry about it for that long.
>>
>>17284002
>>17284167
Generic good advice, sure, but i'm more interested in the "i'm sure there's someone out there for you" idea.

I'm wondering whether it's actually valid to tell someone that, ie whether we can actually say it's statistically likely that a given person will run into a compatible romantic partner in a given period of time, or give an average age at which they're likely to find such a person, etc.

Basically, if someone is afraid of being alone and is inclined to "settle" for someone incompatible if necessary, how would they decide whether and when to "settle"?
And if they're not afraid of being alone, can we give them an expected value for when, on average, they should expect to find the next compatible person, or an interval between them, etc?

>>17284183
Schizoid here, women call my voice "soothing". Figure that's not too bad.
>>
i have a friend that started to develope romantic feelings for me. i kind of went with it desu, so now i'm leading him on. what do i do now?
>>
>>17284336
>obvious signals. But she has a bf.
>what the fuck am I supposed to think/do?
In a word: nothing.
Just act like an autist, ie pretend you don't notice any signals.

>>17284426
>I still think I looked perfect.
>I refuse to actually step foot on a scale because I'd surely have a fucking meltdown
It sounds like you're only halfway to recovery, honestly.
Keep working on it, with a therapist if necessary.

Also you need to post your height and activity level (ie athlete, sedentary, etc) along with your weight (or a pic), otherwise we have no idea what "80lbs" or "100lbs" means.
100lbs at 4'11" looks completely different from 100lbs at 5'8".
>>
>>17284535
Carry on leading him on like the woman you are. See how much you can squeeze out of him.
>>
>>17284535

Take him aside, broach it tentatively, let him know you don't feel the same way about him.

"Hey. Tell me if I'm wrong here, but lately I've been feeling like you might be thinking more of us than actually is?"

Should probably be a gentle but concise enough push towards letting him know you don't feel the same way, but be prepared to elaborate and explicitly spell it out.
>>
>>17284535
Don't lead him on anymore.
He deserves someone who actually appreciates and loves him.
>>
>>17284541
thanks for the amazing advice! brb breaking some hearts.

i know it's my fault. desu i really like him. he means a lot to me. as a friend, that is.
i only went with the lovey stuff because i was flattered. yes, i know i'm a fucking piece of shit. now there's no going back. r-right?
>>
>>17284545
i've let way too much trough already to pull back like that...
it's not like he's basing all that on nothing and i have to help him with the autism. i actually led him on
>>
>>17284547
i do appreciate him very much. i also love him. just not in a romantic "let's get married and have kids and grow old together" way.
>>
>>17284555
>he means a lot to me. as a friend
kek I guess you should tell him you "like him, but only as a friend" then. Classic.
>>
>>17284547
Main question is, can i stop leading him on without breaking his heart?
>>
>>17284561
*shrug*

Doesn't make much of a difference really.

Truth is, you're probably going to end up the bad guy no matter what you do (because you were acting like the bad guy),

It can't really get any better, all you can do is be sincere to try and soften the blow, but the longer you hold it off, the worse it gets


Out of curiosity was it out of a want for attention, an indifference, indecision?
>>
>>17284564
i know how clichée that sounds. that's why i don't want to use that fucking line.
>>
>>17284571
It doesn't matter how you say it the intent remains the same. You led him on and now you're going to let him down.
>>
>>17284567
Let him down slowly, and just be straightforward.
You're gonna break his heart, no way around that.
Especially seeing as how he's friends with a girl, he's probably kinda emotional. (Not being a dick just my opinion)

Anyway, if you want you can talk with me more in depth about this, maybe over the never ending pasta bowl at Olive Garden. Seeing as how you're gonna be single soon.
>>
>>17284569
actually, we spend a lot of time together. i just like being around him, we can talk so easily. we like doing the same stuff, so we just do them together. when i started to notice teeny tiny bits that might imply he likes me more than just as a friend, i just brushed them off because i thought he'll get over it. and because i didn't want this to end. i think he took that as an encouragement. i am very "myself" around him. but that means i'm usually pretty straight forward. i mean, i might have told him more than once if a scene had turned me on or whatever, which might have turned him on in return, which was fuel for him wanting more.
actually, i think it got so far because i really liked what we had and i was afraid it will never be the same if i tell him to cut it out. now here i am, admitst a pile of shit. halp
>>
>>17284580
shit senpai

>>17284590
you're probably right. about him being emotional and me having to be straight forward.
it's just that i fucking care about this nigger. i don't want him to get his heart broken. by anybody. i mean, if another girl would do that to him, i'd stab the bitch.

yeah, that's the MAIN fucking problem here. i'm not single...
>>
>>17281687

How is she being used? Sounds like you're both getting what you want from each other and having some no-strings fun, but you just feel the need to be an asshole about it for some reason.
>>
>>17281761

You don't look like Robert Pattison, but you look like Robert Pattison would play you in a movie about your life, or you would play Robert Pattison in the porn parody of a movie he stars in.
Shit dude, maybe you could play Robert Pattison in the porn parody of a movie about Robert Pattison playing YOU!

Does that answer your question?
>>
>>17284620

Wait, no, it's Pattinson not Pattison.
Disregard everything I just said.
>>
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>>17284624
>robert pattison
>>
>>17284610
I'm sorry to tell you this, but there's noway around it.
You're gonna have to break his heart, and it's not gonna feel nice.
But now you know, don't fuck with people like that.
Whatever happens afterwards, happens. Don't stress if he gets cold towards you. He'll get over it.
This happens to everyone.

In all honesty, I wouldn't even acknowledge your relationship with this guy based on what you're saying.
You just need to get this out of your system. Maybe talk about it over drinks at Applebees? bb
>>
>>17282606

Not confirming plans is pretty rude, desu. He's over reacting, tho.
>>
>>17284636
>he'll get over it
As in, we can still stay friends?

Ofc not. I mean i have a bf. That isn't him
>>
>>17284597
> when i started to notice teeny tiny bits that might imply he likes me more than just as a friend, i just brushed them off because i thought he'll get over it. i think it got so far because i really liked what we had and i was afraid it will never be the same if i tell him to cut it out

Which is more reasonable and understandable. And which is why i'd go with the line I told you earlier.

>yeah, that's the MAIN fucking problem here. i'm not single...

And that fact makes this definitely on him too.

I think you're vilifying yourself quite a bit here and trying to accept blame for something that's also his fault.

Yeah, it's on you too for not saying something earlier, but he's a grown ass adult too who makes his own decisions, and chose to lead himself on with a girl who he (I assume) knew was in a relationship.


Which is why the neutral path of:

"Hey, so tell me if I'm wrong or not, but lately I've been getting the idea of maybe one of us thinks there might be something more going on here, and I just want to clarify because I truly enjoy what we have and don't want things to get confused or fucked up."

testing pathway is the best way.

It allows him to kind of save face, lets him know what's going on.

You could play a more sincere pathway that lets him dip out if he wants, and also lets him save face too

Ultimately though, the sooner you get this shit said, the better.

By the way, the more you self pity and try to take blame, the ore hurt he might get. When it comes to over-emotional situations people have a habit of: if try to you give them an inch to blame you, they over-dramatize and take a mile and make themselves feel worse about it all until the situation becomes way bigger than it actually was.
>>
>>17284648
>I mean i have a bf. That isn't him.
You have boyfriend besides the guyfriend you're trying to break-up with?!
Fuck it, I'm out. You're on your own now. Good luck.
>>
>>17283421

It's a case-by-case thing. What's she doing that's confusing?
>>
>>17284658
I'm not trying to break up with him. We're not in a relationship.
I'm just a girl, i have a bf and i have a friend that started to catch feels and i waited too long to call him out on it. That's all. Thanks for your help tho
>>
>>17283812
>>17283827

How would it even start a fight?
Simplest explanation might be that he's too chill for jealousy and either doesn't realise you're uncomfortable, or doesn't feel like he should fight your battles without you asking for help, in which case talking to him about it is unlikely to start a fight.
The only alternative I can think of is that he just doesn't give a fuck about you, in which case skip the fight and dump him.
>>
>>17284675
Does your friend know you have a bf?
Applebees has some pretty delicious appetizers.
>>
>>17283917

The whole point of that sentiment is that it's not as simple as "there's someone out there for everyone." Many, many people could be that 'someone', it's all about the effort you put in to finding them and making it work. There's zero fucking guarantees that it WILL happen, but one can safely promise that it COULD.
>>
Women: Would you date a 22 year old guy without a job? (I'm looking for work if it helps)
>>
>>17284655
Everything you say makes sense. Obstacle is that this has been going on for a while now and about two weeks ago i had a pretty straight forward talk with him. We cut contact for a while to let things cool down. Then i missed spending time with him way too much and we startes contact again. At first, everything was great. Just like they where before. But then it started creeping up again. Now he's full blown in delusion again. I think i might have to cut him lose completely for the sake of everyone involved. It just sucks horribly, because i need him as a friend. Inb4, i do havr female friends, they just don't seem capable of having a friendhsip that runs a hit deeper than gossip and "go out together". I haven't had any male friends in years, because this shit always hits the fan. But i do want a friend besides my bf. I don't want him to be everything in one person. He's my friend too, sure. But having only him seems a bit dependant and unhealthy.
>>
>>17284690
Not in school? Nope.
>>
>>17284286

Sunflowers and daffodils.
>>
>>17284690
I was in your position bro, for like three years.
I had a few gfs during that time. Just lie and don't take them back to yo... I mean your moms place.
>>
>>17284512
>she was down for it but wants to focus on studies right now, so in a couple of months.
...Seems you have your answer?
>>
>>17284699
Yeah I'm still living at home with the rents. Just can't find work unfortunately.
>>17284692
No I'm not currently studying. Why is that a prerequisite?
>>
>>17284706
>Why is that a prerequisite?
Its a source of income bro.
Most important thing to a grill.
>>
>>17284706
>No I'm not currently studying. Why is that a prerequisite?
Because you're a NEET. I'm not interested in dating a NEET
>>
>>17284714
I work as contractor. Would you date me?
>>
>>17284691
>But having only him seems a bit dependant and unhealthy.

You need other friends, but you don't need other MALE friends specifically.

Yes opposite gender friends are nice to have, but they're not a necessity. If they are a necessity to you, that is a red flag for yourself and your mentality.

Your boyfriend should not be your everything, but you also shouldn't feel like you can't rely on them, or that they leave you with a gap that some other man has to fill.

>Now he's full blown in delusion again. I think i might have to cut him lose completely for the sake of everyone involved.

if that is the case, then yes, that might be for the best.


P.S. I've been saying all of this as someone who has a girlfriend that he loves, who has very close female friends (including my best friend and another one I think of as a little sister) and whose girlfriend also has male friends.

I truly believe in opposite gender friendships, but not everyone is mature enough to handle them without getting feelings, not everyone is capable of drawing the hard line between appropriate and inappropriate behavior, and not everyone is doing it purely for the friendship.

First and foremost, what matters in an opposite gender friendship isn't their gender, it's that they're friend--regardless of sexual organs. If what matters more to you is that they're a male... then you might be looking for more than just friendship and something else is out of balance in your life.
>>
>>17284720
Not based on that alone, but I'm more likely to want to date you than a NEET
>>
>>17284714
Neet is a stupid term. It implies that I'm uneducated. I'm not.
>>
>>17284727

Not in Education, Employment or Training.
It fits.
>>
>>17284711
I don't make any money studying. It still seems pretty stupid. Most people I know that are studying are arrogant tossers.
>>
>>17284727
Then why are you a NEET?
>>
>Neet is a stupid term. It implies that I'm uneducated. I'm not.

Not that anon but that's not what NEET means.

N.E.E.T means:
Not in Education Employment or Training.

in other words, you are currently not doing jack-all with your life.

Even if you have a PhD and just got laid off, if for the past year, all you're doing is sitting on your ass, not applying for jobs, internship, more schooling, whatever, you are a NEET.
>>
>>17284730
>Most people I know that are studying are arrogant tossers.
I wouldn't date you based on the fact that you don't seem to value education as much as I do. Also what you said there contradicts where you claim you're not uneducated. Either you're uneducated, or an arrogant tosser. Neither of those are appealing.
>>
>>17284730

Studying is generally undertaken in hopes of being qualified for gainful employment later.
>>
>>17284731
My last job was contracted casual. I was working towards permanent part time but they dropped me for all the cheaper 15 year olds. Now I'm out of a job again. Pretty over it really.
>>
>>17284740
An educated person doesn't work a casual job.
>>
>>17284736
>you don't value education as much as I do
That implies that the only form of education is done via educational institutions which is simply not true.
>>
>>17284723
I'm like the perfect male.

mid 20's
5k+ in back acc
nice job.
I make damn near 2k a month.
college degree
apartment
two cars (no idea why I own two)
somewhat /fit/
thick dark hair
shaved neck beard
and I love my mommy
and she lives 800 miles away, which is nice most of the time.

And I'm single. Not that it matters, just throwing it out there.
I'm just too busy to put time and effort into a relationship.
>>
>>17284743

Oh god, quit being such a whiney faggot already. Maybe this is why you don't have a girlfriend.
>>
>>17284741
That's the most ignorant thing I've read on 4chan this week.
>>
>>17284743
>>>/tumblr/
Being 'self taught' doesn't count.

>>17284746
>5k+ in back acc
Is that supposed to be impressive or something?
>two cars (no idea why I own two)
That's just dumb, especially when you can't explain why you own two
>somewhat /fit/
>somewhat
Yeah, you're TOTALLY the perfect male.
>>
>>17284735
If you're a CEO of a company and finally after slaving your whole life you can finally sit on your ass and watch the money roll in. You're a worthless NEET.
>>
>>17284748
Okay sweetie. Keep telling yourself that you're not a drain on society while you're at it.
>>
>>17284749
>self taught doesn't count
I guess most self taught famous musicians are all hacks then right? Same goes for any others that are self taught in professional positions. Jesus Christ you're retarded.
>>
>>17284751
That's called being retired

>>17284754
Goodness, you're mad.
>>
>>17284752
Oh and I'm sure you're the height of successful. Pray tell, what do you do that gives you this level of smugness?
>>
>>17284759
I'm studying and I have a part time job, as well as volunteering, so that's at least three things I have over you.
>>
>>17284758
>mad
No, more baffled that you think being self taught in any kind of profession, hobby or trade doesn't qualify to your obviously ridiculously high standards.
>>
>>17284749
5k a is pretty nice nest egg to sit on.

I honestly don't know why I bought the Toyota. Besides the fact I like it.

I can tell from here you're creaming your panties over me.
>>
>>17284771
>5k a is pretty nice nest egg to sit on.
Not really. That'll buy you another car second-hand to go with your first two, and nothing else.
>>
>>17284764
>three things I have over you
Studying and volunteering don't mean shit. You've got a part time job? I'll give you that but it's not like any of those three examples are successful in any sense of the word.

You know what you do have though? Arrogance and a big ego. Won't get you far though.
>>
>>17284769
>>17284759
>>17284754
>>17284748
>>17284743
>>17284740
>>17284730
>>17284727
>>17284706
>>17284690
Why did you ask if you knew you weren't going to like the answer?
>>
>>17284771
>5k a is pretty nice nest egg to sit on.
It's nothing man, I have over four times as much and I haven't even worked a full year yet.
>>
>>17284778
>Studying and volunteering don't mean shit.
Except they do? I'm not sitting on my ass at home all day, expecting my parents to look after me like you are.

>Won't get you far though.
Further than you, I have a job and you don't.
>>
>>17284781
>implying studying is the height of success
Yeah, can't wait to be out getting plastered with my uni buddies lmao kys
>>
>>17284776
Maybe I will go buy another second-hand car.

Anyway somebody make another thread, and link it here.
This is actually amusing.
>>
>>17284754

Being self taught is fine once it's actually led to being a fucking pro.
>>
>>17284685
yes, ofc he knows...
>>
>>17284788
>sitting on my ass at home all day
That's some projection
>>
>>17284784
Congratulations.
I plan on surpassing you in a year anyway.
>>
>>17284793
Already done
>>17284766
>>
>>17284792
No one said anything's the height of success, you're the one that brought this phrase into the discussion. You asked whether women would date you, you got an answer, it's no one's problem but yours that you didn't like it.
>>
>>17284798
Not if you're retarded enough to buy multiple cars.
>>
>>17284797
There's nothing to project though. I'm out there, doing shit with my life. There you are, admitting you're a NEET and picking fights with people on the internet.
>>
>>17284797

Not that anon, but if you're currently NEET what else of value are you doing?
>>
>>17284794
You don't have to "go pro" to be an incredibly talented individual. That goes for anything really.
>>
>>17284805
>doing shit with my life
>volunteer work
yeah really "living the life"
>>
>>17284809
If you're not contributing to society with whatever your talent is, you're not contributing to society, no matter how good you are.
>>
>>17284811
Like I said, I'm doing something of value. You're sitting at home, doing nothing of value. I have more of a life than you do, it's a fact.
>>
>>17284812
>everything you do must contribute to society
>you can't do something for the sake of enjoyment and having a hobby
>>
>>17284721
>You need other friends, but you don't need other MALE friends specifically.
>Yes opposite gender friends are nice to have, but they're not a necessity. If they are a necessity to you, that is a red flag for yourself and your mentality.
>Your boyfriend should not be your everything, but you also shouldn't feel like you can't rely on them, or that they leave you with a gap that some other man has to fill.
i completely agree with all you wrote.
i'm not friends with him because he's male. i'm not a "i only have male friends"-girl either. i just always had the deepest, most loyal frienships with guys. then i had to cut them lose at some point because the fact that i have a vagina got in the way. it sucks. i don't want to keep cuting out freidns because of my sexual organs. that's stupid.
it's the reason i asked you guys for help. i wanted to know if there's a way to save a friendship that got "posioned" by romantic feelings that i don't know off. because i'm tired of having to make new freinds over and over again. i want one that stays.

how can i draw that hard line then? if this is not savable, then for future reference...
>>
>>17284809

So? What's the point of being talented if you don't do shit with it, and are a NEET leech instead of putting that talent to use?
The whole discussion here is that being NEET is a detractor because it shows a lack of direction towards being able to provide for yourself and a family. Studying something (as long as it's not something stupid) is a good sign of such direction. Playing guitar in your bedroom is not. Sure you might be the next big thing for all anyone knows, but you also might be just another loser like the other 99% of NEETs playing guitar in their bedrooms.
>>
>>17284815
>it's a fact
It's not though is it. I think playing video games are a huge waste of life but others think it's a fantastic hobby. It's all subjective really. It's not like you know how my days are spent, regardless of my employment I try to stay productive around the house.
>>
>>17284811
>be actively leeching off others while contributing nothing to society
>make fun of someone as being useless for giving their time away in order to contribute
What are you even saying?
>>
>>17284817

Not if you're fucking NEET. You either have a marketable skill that you refuse to use to support yourself, or you're wasting your time on non-marketable skills while other people carry your weight.
>>
>>17284820
>What's the point of being talented if you don't do shit with it
Why have such a nihilistic attitude about it? Why can't something be done purely for enjoyment and fun?
>>
>>17284832

It can. Read the rest of the post.
If you're doing fucking nothing to support yourself and sitting on a talent that could either earn you money or is taking time away from pursuits that would earn you money, you're just being a selfish fucking leech. Indulge in hobbies when you're able to support yourself.
>>
>>17284836
>selfish fucking leech
I know. It's not like I want to be this way. I don't believe I'm selfish though. I make sure the house is getting cleaned and maintained as much as I can. I don't literally do nothing at home all day long.
>>
>>17284843
You Soundcloud bro?
>>
>>17284854
Nah. Sorry
>>
>>17284818

Do not acknowledge or humor provocation.
Do not feed in to other people's advances because it makes you feel special about yourself.
Draw specific lines that are and are not ok.

I'm kind of a flirt, and I've had a lot of female friends over the years. So that line is always kind of blurry in the detail and confuses people at first, but the more time they spend with me, the more obvious that line becomes. I might make a joke, flirt, tell you your beautiful, or whatever, but I will not make sexual advances, I will not cross a line, and I will always maintain and expect a certain level of mutual respect that is ever present.

Even if you can't tell if I'm messing around or or read me, you always have a clear understanding of my character, my principles, and of what I will or will not do.


Honestly, you sound a little like my girlfriend in some ways, and a little like my other friend (the one I think of as a little sister). The little sister friend in particular has a hard as hell time drawing lines. She will literally make out with people because they kiss her first and she doesn't know how to say no. And in her case I know it's because part of her wants that attention (and it's also why I'm probably the of the only longstanding male friends she has--because everyone else doesn't realize that and catches feels).

Learn to say No. Know yourself, and what you want. If all you truly want is friendship, No is easy, and it shows up in the way you hold yourself and in the way you treat the relationship and act in it.
>>
>>17284691
>I don't want him to be everything in one person. He's my friend too, sure. But having only him seems a bit dependant and unhealthy.
Do you feel like you have the connection you have with him with your BF as well?
If your connection with your BF is weak (ie he doesn't fulfill your emotional needs), that's going to be a problem in the long run because you'll keep being drawn to do this shit (getting side guys to fulfill them).
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