How do I make a guy lose weight? A guy I know has a crush on

>>17271741
you are a terrible and shallow person.

>>17271748
It's cool that you perceive things like that but it doesn't really solve my problem.

I am in the exact same situation, great girl, so easy to get along with and her family is awesome, however she is kind of chunky, what do.

Tell them that you value health a lot and emphasize it.

>>17271741
>>17271754

You cannot make anyone do anything. You can either try to make it work, knowing that they don't look the way you want them to, or you tell them that their body is a deal-breaker.

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>how do i make a guy lose weight
>i am not superficial

>he is on the heavy side and it is a turn off for me
>i am not superficial

>his current physical state does not appeal to me, so i want him to change it so it will appeal to me
>i am not superficial

lets call a spade a spade anon, lyingto yourself won't do you any good

that bing said, i guarantee you could spare a few pounds, be it 5, or 30. so, go to the gym with him, then you have something else in common to talk about and you can share the enthusiasm of losing weight together

>i am not superficial
top zozzles

>>17271741

its not shallow to want to be attracted to your partner.

everyone says 'IM MARRYING MY BEST FRIEND'. well you know whats the difference between the best friend you marry and the best man you dont? you want to fuck the one you are marrying.

and to want to fuck someone you ahve to be attracted to em. feelings and romance can make you forgive quite a bit but you know what the limit is and thats why you are here.

so stop saying 'IM NOT SHALLOW BUT.... HE NEEDS TO BE BETTER LOOKING'.

cuz saying that does actually make you sound shallow without all the explanation. stop trying to qualify or jsutify yourself just say what you need to say.

as for the guy, has he asked you out? wait til he follows up and be up front. "I'll date you, but if you want to be with me, you gotta get fit'.

explain like you did here. not muscles or anything, just lose weight. tell him if he ever leaves you it'll be a godo change he'll bring to the next girl too.

if he cant handle it, thats a shame, but thats life so its his loss to be honest cuz a girl who will date him while helping him lose weight is kind of the magic catch.

this is assuming you arent a fatty fatty 2 by 4 cant fit through the kitchen door.

>>17271766
> i guarantee you could spare a few pounds
I have a BMI of ~18.8, I don't have anything to spare lmao. But doing exercise together sounds like a good idea.
And no I am not superficial because nothing can excuse gluttony.

Seriously though, who the hell ISN'T superficial?
Fatshaming and fatloving aside, realistically noone is interested in someone that doesn't look pleasant by general standards. It just doesn't happen.

Fat, antisocial, hairy, lonely nerds don't get girlfriends for good reasons.

>>17271766
This, you can just act like you like going to the gym or running a lot and see if he would like to join. Although, the main thing with weight is diet, so while this could work, you'd also have to find a way for him to change his diet, or at least getting him to eat less if he eats unhealthy food/eats a lot. But also, take into consideration that if he works out and lifts a lot of weight and shit he can eat more, taking in more calories then he got rid of, building muscle and just naturally getting rid of fat.

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>>17271748
>>17271766

>fat shits whining that women don't like their romantic partners to have bigger tits than them

thank goodness there are such non-superficial saints like yourselves; i'm sure both of you will be very happy with those 500lb quadriplegic down-syndrome cleft-palate amputee girls with GREAT PERSONALITIES

>>17271766
>it's superficial to want to be physically attracted to someone

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>>17271771
i already told you about lying, dont do that, especially on an anonymous image board

you are superficial, you are not perfectly toned, and anyone can spare a few pounds, so please, take the advice and stop lying

good luck with the guy anon

>i am not superficial
top zozzles, top zozzles

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>>17271741

It could go one of two ways, unfortunately, and one way is really crushing for him... depends on what you want to do. Giving him a chance could make him inspired and want to lose weight, knowing that there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

Or, it could just depress him and make him want to eat/drink more, thinking that even if he does put in the work, you'd probably just find someone else by the time he lost the weight.

I'd say to just make it clear you're not interested, since it's a tough qualifier to have. I'm like you, I like women on the thin side, and I had to dump my girlfriend (among many reasons) because she'd stopped taking care of herself and was gaining weight at a terrifyingly quick pace.

Committing to losing weight is a difficult thing. I dropped 60 lbs myself (pic related), but I can admit that at my worst, I thought things were hopeless and I was just gonna perpetually be pudgy and drunk.

>>17271768
Thank you for the honesty and genuine advice, I completely agree with you. Losing weight wouldn't be a change for me, it would also be a complete lifestyle overhaul, one that can only benefit him for the rest of his life.

>this is assuming you arent a fatty fatty 2 by 4 cant fit through the kitchen door.
Nah I'm skinny.

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>>17271780
this is correct, everyone IS superficial, but to lie about it on an anonymous chinese image bored is ridiculous


>>17271783
>its superficial to try to change someone to THEN be attracted to them

FTFY

>>17271784
Uh, what? Why the actual fuck would you assume she's lying?

Do you really think thin girls are that rare?

I'm not even mad or anything, that's just bizarre.

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>>17271794
lying about being superficial, its like you cant into context

>back to tumblr

>>17271787
Damn, that's pretty motivational. How did you lose all that weight?

>>17271796
>>17271784
>you are superficial, you are not perfectly toned, and anyone can spare a few pounds, so please, take the advice and stop lying
So you admit you were rash to think she was lying about being thin?

Also, if she were superficial she wouldn't care about his personality, she'd just ditch him and find some hunk.

>Should I tell one of our mutual friends that the weight is the only problem and maybe they can have a guy to guy?
No.

>How do I go about bringing this up?
Take him out for lunch and tell him to go to the gym with you.

>>17271796
You wrote:
>you are not perfectly toned, and anyone can spare a few pounds
You were obviously also calling bullshit on her claim of "18.8 BMI, I don't have anything to spare," don't try to backpedal away from it. And "go back to Tumblr" is a complete non-sequitur here, you goober.

>>17271805
stop replying, idiot; after >>17271784 you should have realized it's bait

Is it really superficial to expect someone to look like they care about their appearance and being able to survive any situation that requires moving faster than a slow walk?

>>17271804

Thanks anon.

Probably not the best way to do it, but I went on some pretty hardcore diets twice in the past year or so that lasted about a month-two months.

I:
>Ate less than 1200 calories a day, normally less than 1000, and COUNTED THE CALORIES (important)
>Stopped drinking (hardest part)
>Started cycling, running, and doing pushups and sit ups at home, with cycling/running replaced by stair sprints on days where the weather was bad or too hot (I live in the desert, it can get up to like 120 degrees sometimes, I don't wanna die of heatstroke)
>Other important thing, I didn't "reward" myself by saying I burned 300 calories so I could have a slice of pizza, or with any cheat days. No fucking cheat days. The goal is more important than the food.

People always ask how I ate so little, but I basically just ate a TON of raw vegetables when hungry, or other zero calorie foods. Frank's Hot Sauce and Broccoli/Cauliflower? Barely worth anything when it comes to calorie count. Then at night, I'd have a large, filling meal, that was generally pretty tasty and made me comfy until bed. I ate a ton of Rubio's Taco Shop, but I love fish, so...

>>17271812
Could be, but I gotta say I prefer replying to the occasional bait post over reading "this is bait you morons!!!!!" every time somebody posts something controversial and/or stupid. The former's more entertaining than annoying, the latter's really, seriously tedious. Also, you replied to the wrong guy.

>>17271820
This. It goes both ways, I wouldn't be upset if a guy was in the same situation about a girl he was interested in.

>>17271828
Damn man, you must have had an iron will for that though. I don't think I could manage.
I'm putting down some notes though, thanks.

>>17271741
I'm in the EXACT same situation. He's too shy to even have a proper conversation with me, he told one of our friends that he's into me. He's not tall which is definitely one of my most superficial things but just the weight thing is mainly putting me off, he's not ugly per se but I think his face would probably look better if he loses weight as well.

>>17271741
Make is fat ass run and stop sitting around all the time.

"Get in shape and I'll let you hit this."

The power of pussy is strong.

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I've actually been in a similar position as that guy. Some girl liked me but wanted me to lose weight before we got into anything serious.

I was actually in the process of weight loss before I ever met her, but I felt somewhat resentful. I'm not going to fault someone for wanting to be with someone they're attracted to, but from my pov it felt like I was being told I'm only good enough if I accomplish x, y, and z. Long term weight loss is only feasible if they want to do it themselves anyways, if you manage to encourage him to start picking it up he'll gain it all back once the relationship hits a bad spot.

>>17271919
Does this actually work? I'm a very direct person when I want to be and I think if it came down to it I would tell him "I want to be with you but only if you start losing weight".

>>17271958
>Does this actually work?
It might work. It might also blow up horribly, and he resents you somewhat. It depends on the kind of guy he is, and honestly you havent said much about him.

>>17271958
>>>17271919 (You)
>Does this actually work? I'm a very direct person when I want to be and I think if it came down to it I would tell him "I want to be with you but only if you start losing weight".

I think you should. It would give him motivation and feel like he won you over.

>>17271934
>>17271967
Are you the same guy?

I don't want any feelings of resentment obviously. From what I've seen in photos from about ~2 years ago he was definitely a bit skinnier, so I know he hasn't been at his current weight all his life. He's just a very laid back guy, he's a guitarist in a band, smokes grass often and some other shit from time to time. He's just very laid back which makes me think he probably couldn't ever care enough to actually lose weight. That doesn't really have any say on his willpower though; if he actually really liked me it might motivate him enough to actually want to do it... but I really don't know.

>>17271766
Being overweight is an indication that you either have no self control or don't care about yourself. It's literally a sign of mental illness, anon.

>>17271986
>Are you the same guy?
Yes

>That doesn't really have any say on his willpower though
I'm not saying he has no willpower, I'm just saying weight loss has to be a personal thing. If you do it for someone else, the moment your feelings wane or you hit a rough spot his enthusiasm about it will wane.

If its something he wants to do but is struggling with, sure feel free to help encourage him. But his motivation has to be for himself for any significant long term change. It's not a matter of "him actually liking you" and it's a touch egotistical to think so.

>>17271741
hey op i completely understand you, i feel the same way and i wouldnt call myself superficial

how about you just tell him how you feel? offer to work out with him and stuff is he is a great guy or something

Talk to him that you are concerned about his health, and you want to help him lose a little weight

The key part to this, though, is you actually have to help him. This kind of thing works a lot better with support

First, the basics. You can't enable weight-gaining behaviors. Fast food, ice cream, candy, etc shouldn't be a reward for a hard work week, or a cop-out meal because youre all too tired to cook. If you aren't eating shit, and aren't pushing him to eat shit, great

Second, look for a fun physical activity you both can enjoy together. Being told to go fuck off alone in the garage for a stationary bike or treadmill is no fun. What about bicycling in the park? Power walking in the evenings? Weekend 10 mile hikes? You don't need to do everything together, but you should be involved in his physical routine at least a bit

>>17272168
How to bring up the topic altogether though? I can't exactly bring it up before being in a relationship without giving an ultimatum, but if I involve myself in a relationship and he's not willing or committed to losing the weight then it's just going to be disastrous.

>>17272900

How about asking him on a date, but instead of to the movies or a bar, you go ice skating or bike through the countryside or something physical like that

Tie the idea of hanging out with you with doing something healthy, and see if he's still down. Then if it eventually becomes a relationship, you can have a more in-depth discussion about fitness

Take it from me, OP. If I was in this guy's shoes, and I liked you, and you said you'd work out with me? I'd totally jump all over that shit.

Once you get the groundwork for that laid out, look into some partner excercises (things which require two people, such as tandem stretching.) Not only is it working out, but it can be hot as hell.

Of course, I fully admit that working out with somebody is kind of a fetish for me. But if the interest's there, I can't imagine somebody being like "Nah, I don't feel like having you hold me in position while I stretch, or getting my hands all over you while we excercise."

>I'll let you hit this if drop 20lbs.

Now watch how fast he'll lose the weight.

>>17271811
>>17271771
>I have a BMI of ~18.8, I don't have anything to spare
As a female with a BMI of 17.5 I can confirm that you can get smaller, but at a certain point it would start to looks disgusting.

>>17271741
Look for someone else.

Asking something like that from someone for the remote chance of maybe a successful relationship in the future is way out of line.

You can ask for something like that if you are in a long term relationship with someone and your partner gains a lot of weight or something like that, not some guy who you haven't even dated yet.

You can tell him you are more into fitter guys, don't connect it with the promise of sex or relationship.

>>17272968
Also, this. If a girl I knew told me let me score a base every five pounds I lose, I'd get my shit in order.

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>>17271741
Suggest you both go to gym, and tell him why you want to do this. Be honest and he may fall good for you.

If I was the guy id tell you EAT A DICK!! And a sandwich ya skinny bitch.

>>17273048
Being fat is a mental illness and shows complete lack of control and poor perception of self.

>>17272968
I think it's more like 50lbs. What do?

>start dating chubby guy
>realize it is not a problem
>make him more aware of his diet / plan his meals
>no need for exercise, but if you are into it, get him to tag along

1. it will prove you are not superficial
2. he will love you forever for putting your trust in him

>>17273076
So is being a superficial bitch.

I'm not fat,and nor do i care whether someone else is fat.

If you've got a problem with his weight, that's exactly what it is.

>You've got a problem with his weight.

Either get over it or go for someone whos your type.

You can't change people, they need to do it themselves.

>be fat
>girls dont dig me
>get a job with six figure salary
>suddenly girls dont mind that im fat

huehuehuehuehue keikaku doori

>>17273135
not true, support and showing a good example goes a very long way. No one wants to be fat.

>>17273154
We're only 20 though so that stuff doesn't really matter. I understand how it would be a huge plus for older women in your situation.

>>17272968
I'm pretty confident the people preaching this stuff have never actually been in this kind of situation. It generally just comes off as extremely patronizing, no womans hole is worth significant change. Significant change only comes around because you want to be something different.

>been fat kid Whole life
>somewhat athletic
>played roller hockey
>played Basketball and football with brothers and neighborhood kids
>still the fat kid
>now 27
>6'3 365lbs built like bear
>still fat, but have muscle from work

I've always been fat, and I hate it. However, I doubt I'll ever break free because I've been clinically depressed most of my life. I had gained even more weight in my teens because of anti-depressants to the point that my mom had me taken off, and I never really lost it. The thing is that my parents were alcoholics, so I don't drink. I don't do drugs because I'm afraid of my addictive personality, so I eat. That's what I do. I even quit soda six years ago and mostly drink half to a whole gallon of water a day.

Despite what I want to believe, I would probably be pretty good looking if I lost the weight, but I can't seem to care.

>>17273282
Energy in, energy out. The only person stopping you is yourself.

>>17273292

You're absolutely right. It only makes me feel worse because I'm the only one who can fix it, and yet I do nothing. It's a downward spiral that feeds off itself, and I'm helpless to stop it.

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>>17271741
>I am not superficial
>won't date a guy because of a superficial reason

>>17271741
if I were the guy that liked you and you said "lose some weight and i'll date you" i'd think you're a fucking cunt and never speak to you again.

athletic guy here btw

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either date him or find a real excuse for a man and date that

you can't fix broken peopel

>>17271787
thanks for the motivation man.
I appreciate your hustle!

>>17271741
I feel like if this was a girl complaining that a guy was too skinny the guys here wouldn't be nearly as mad. I don't mean mad like "lololol u mad bro", but I'm starting to see this bias towards bigger guys in general.

>>17274402
There's no bias. Wanting somebody to change for your own sake is a shitty thing to do. Doesn't matter what you want to change. However, when it comes to weight, people have different views.

>>17274408
It's a hot button issue when people talk about weight. No matter what you look like you are probably somewhat insecure about it so when people criticize your appearance it's like a punch to the gut. As somebody who's been given shit for being skinny, I totally get it. Especially since I've had to listen to women say I am too thin for them even if we looked similar.

>>17271766
>i guarantee you could spare a few pounds
That's called wishful thinking
You and >>17271748 make men look as irrational as women.
>Wait, I'm on /adv/

>>17271978
This, OP
I can't think of a better way to stick to losing weight

>>17271748
And you're a dumb faggot.

See how you didn't give a fuck about what I said? That's how your parents feel about your whole existence.

>>17271741
Best way is to shame and give subtle hints. Don't full out tell them because he's probably a pussy if he hasn't managed his weight by himself already. I don't understand how normal sized men manage to become fat unless they have someone else cook every meal of their life.

Don't bother here. It's hard enough to try to change someone you're in a relationship with, let alone change them beforehand. I guarantee you that he does not particularly like being fat. He hasn't not lost weight because he feels no desire to, he doesn't have the motivation (and yeah, you might think to motivate him with the prospect of a date but hearing the message that your 2.0 version is potentially good enough for someone is hurtful and deflating, even if understandable). I don't think it ever really works to try to better yourself "for" someone else, as opposed to being absolutely convinced that this is what you have to do now.
I would just look for another guy.

>>17271748
I hope you die

>>17271766
Remember, a guy can't help what he's attracted to. If you're a fatty you better lose some weight.

Women on the other hand can control what they're attracted to, and fuck you for expecting guys to not look like slobs.

Invite him to be your workout buddy. That'll give him the chance to get close to you, and you guys can get into good shape together. Go to the gym together a few times a week.

>>17274435
A fat man is a particularly shameful thing, they were given bodies specifically meant to keep fat off so they could run down prey and yet they managed to fuck it up, send their hormones all out of whack so they end up with mantits. Their dicks are useless because of the fat pads they're attached to, it's like being fucked by a cushion and you always need to diddle yourself to get off.

Make him go to the gym with you OP.

>>17271741
Ok, go to the gym for a while, and when you talk to him always talk about gym. When you can, ask him if he wants to come, not to lose weight but to get muscles. Give him lots of enthusiasm and encourage him lots and make him like being there. Later down the track get him into running, the fastest way to lose weight. Then, lock him in a room and starve him for a few months.

>>17271766
She won't go to the gym lel. Too hard