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Anonymous
Worried about a mental evaluation coming up. 2016-06-17 15:10:58 Post No. 17264245
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Worried about a mental evaluation coming up. 2016-06-17 15:10:58 Post No. 17264245
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Worried about a mental evaluation coming up.
Anonymous
2016-06-17 15:10:58
Post No. 17264245
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I have a mental evaluation in a few hours to determine if I should still be receiving SSI. I'm worried they won't think I'm mentally ill "enough" because I'm "smart" and "well-spoken".
The problem is, I spend most of my days pulling myself together as much as possible and trying to seem as normal as possible. I get deeply embarrassed and ashamed of my depression, anxiety, inability to focus and think, and OCD. I haven't been on medication for years because I went to a psychiatrist who made consistent rude comments about my appearance and would accuse me of not taking my meds when I told her I felt worse and I didn't think something was working for me.
Most days I struggle to get out of bed, clean myself, or avoid constant intrusive thoughts. I pick at my skin on my hip (I stopped cutting years ago), I pull out my eyelashes (I haven't had any for most of my life and pull them when I'm stressed out, I was completely bald on my head at one point but I somehow ended up only doing it a little on the back of my head now), and I can't call myself agoraphobic since I do go outside but I've missed four weddings in the past ten years because I can't make myself go outside. I lost my last job because I got so nervous I'd sit in the bathroom crying even if logically I could tell myself it was fine. I didn't show up a few days because I couldn't make myself leave the house, either, but you can't tell your boss that. The job I had before that I lost during a manic phase. I didn't realize how much I was talking and how fast I was going and I ended up screwing up the math and being under by $10, which was grounds for instant firing.
A few days ago I spilled some soup and basically had a nervous breakdown and started sobbing and I don't know why, I just felt intensely sad.
I'm not on meds and can't lie and I don't know what to say or not say. Any advice would be appreciated so I'm not denied.
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Take some meds and be a productive member of society, holy shit.
Or if you're so "smart" work from home or something.
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you should be on meds. take your meds, they help
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>>17264256
I didn't say I was smart, I said people cal me that.
I already know I'm mentally ill and need to be on medication. I'm asking for advice, not for someone to state the obvious.
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>>17264289
I didn't ask about that.
And I'm not seeing anyone right now because the only one in my area is the person who continually made comments on my appearance and accused me of lying when the meds didn't work and made me suicidal. I'm hoping to ask for other resources when I'm evaluated today.
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I think trying to get well should be a requirement to get SSI.
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