How do I become flexible enough to blow myself?

Stretch, stretch, and stretch some more. Stay physically fit so that this kind of full-body "exercise" doesn't tire you out. Do it with an empty stomach. Stop if you feel any pain or snapping sensations. Learn not to regret cumming in your own mouth, you sick freak.

If you actually are lonely enough to want to blow yourself that badly maybe you should start by seeing a therapist

>>17213645
What is wrong with wanting to enhance my fapping?

>>17213612

Get your bottom pair of ribs removed.

>>17213657
Everything you monster, wanting to enjoy things is wrong.

>>17213612
OP, before you do it, remember that autofellatio only feels like you're sucking a dick, not like you're getting it sucked.