How does one become wittier?

>>17193470
Read and talk to people smarter than you.

Stop posting on 4chan for one
Secondly go modify your genes and relive your childhood

>>17193470

Read more. Srs, and I don't mean the avg shit on this site. Pick up critically acclaimed books, preferably psychological thrillers. They'll sharpen your mind and expose you to so much more sophisticated language.

An easy book to start with is the Da Vinci Code

File: 1445450631566.jpg (64KB, 1024x768px) Image search: [Google]

64KB, 1024x768px

>>17193949
This. Hanging out with educated people as a young man turned me around. When I got out of the Army I met a lawyer and we started hanging out. Good dude, talked politics, women, ambitions. I started hanging out with his attorney friends and loved the conversation. I went back to school and got 2x AA, a BA, and an MA.

If you are the smartest person in the room you are in the wrong room my friend. This is some real advice my man. Don't be wittier that's for fucking kids. Be an intellectual to be reckoned with.

>>17193470
Read. Understand the English language. Understand people.

>>17193470
depends on what you mean by wit. if it's wildean type of prose, then read and study examples. this type of wit often consists of saying something true in an unexpected or edgy way: "A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally." it doesn't really carry over well into real life conversations though, so be aware of that, unless you don't mind sounding like a twink from a 19th century play.

if you mean instead in a general and conversational sense, then a really good trick to learn is to reinterpret the sense of certain words or phrases or to expand upon some funny thing that they might suggest. these more or less do similar things, where i've [bracketed] the words that they've expanded on:

Caller: "What would happen if i pierced my [nut sac]?" Adam Carrola (on Loveline): "Won't that let the air out, doctor?"

Daria: So now my once rational mother is telling me that I have to respect Quinn's [beliefs]. Jane: Well I suppose the earth *could* be flat.

neither is very easy but hey maybe with some practice you can get good.

>>17193470
You can't force it.