I have a huge crush on a girl i know. Every time i see her it

"Love" is just a concept created to sell products. Its all just different levels of chems firing off in your brain. What you felt is just as much "love" as any husband and wife. The only difference is that they've been "loving" each-other for a long period of time.

If you are able to date that girl and then maintain those feelings for a long time then thats "love".

>>17173365
Wow. I just re-read my own post. I should maybe go to bed, because my spelling is atrocious.

>>17173365
>"Love" is just a concept created to sell products. Its all just different levels of chems firing off in your brain.
>fedora tipping intensifies

When I look at my wife of 13 years sitting there reading, I know I love her. I don't feel a punch in the chest when she walks into the room or whatever, but I would die for her, because I know she would for me. I would do anything to protect her and I try to do my best to make her happy. She does the same for me. She's strong when I'm weak and picks me up when I fall, just as I do for her. We're a team and standing back to back it's us against the world.

I know it'll sound strange or silly to a lot of you you in your early 20's and you'll start spouting your memes. If it does sound strange it's only because you haven't experienced it.

>inb4 lol cuck

I'm not a cuck if she feels the same, if not more intensely. That's what we've come to know as love.

>>17173396
I don't know how what you said is meant to refute the statement that love is just a bunch o chemical reactions in the brain. Like I said in my original post, the difference between you love and OPs love is just that you've been in love with your wife for a long time, and over time you've developed a strong connection with her.

>>17173396
So love is being a bro?

>>17173407
Don't know. I don't feel that way about any of my friends.

>>17173406
Then it's not just something dreamed up by a marketing executive, is it?

>>17173409
I feel like that about all my friends. If i don't feel like that about someone i don't consider them a friend, but merely an acquaintance.

>>17173414
My point is that the word "love" is just a word with no strict meaning used to refer to long term feelings of affection towards another person resulting from chems firing in your brain.

OP shouldn't worry about whether his crush is what you guys would define as "love", because its a bullshit term with no solid definition.

>>17173365

Initial hormone spikes that only are there to make the human ape procreate are NOT love, and neither were they ever called love until the romanticist period.

And it is a major reason for relationships failing:

>"Oh, Anon(ette) I do not love you anymore, so we can no longer be together."

No shit.
That feelings caused by initial hormone spikes NEVER last in a monogamous relationship for biological reasons, and they are not meant to.

Love is what it was traditionally until at least the renaissance always understood as: The decision to love someone, and the actions that flow from said decision.

tl,dr: What you experience ain't love, mate.

>>17173616
>love is the decision to love
Could you maybe be less circular?

>>17173396

Boy you really drunk the coolade

You do understand that magical energies arent real right? Love is just natures way of getting you to protect your genetic material and the women raising your offspring

You "feel" the way you do because you're a human and we love to romanticise things but its not actually that deep

>>17173637

The point is "Love" is more of an act that a feeling

Harry potter covered this quite well

>Infatuation is a phase.
>Love is a bond that's built.

>Infatuation is recognizing only the good things.
>Love is seeing the good AND the things that piss you off, that gross you out, that you hate, and still accepting it as a part of them.

>Infatuation is like being struck like a rush, like jumping off a plane, or being on a roller coaster, it shocks you, scares you, excites you, and threatens to overwhelm you.
>Love is like softly basking in warmth and comfort. It radiates and covers you gently like a warm blanket.


Infatuation is a phase that can lead to love, but as it's a bond, it only really happens when you truly know someone and recognize them for who they are, and they do the same for you.

As a side note, there are a few studies that point to infatuation triggering one set of endorphin's, and love another, and they also suggests that in long enough relationships it's all cyclical (you can go from infatuation to love, to becoming infatuated again, to love, and so on)

>>17173668
So how do act love? And why do you make the decision to act love?

Am i going to have to go re-read the entire series now?

>>17173689
This post is almost entirely unhelpful.

>>17173689
You're close.

We shouldn't talk about infatuation, without mentioning resentment.

Infatuation is when you recognise 'it' in the other person, but you're too humble too see it in yourself.
Resentment is when you recognise 'it' in the other person, but you're too proud to see it in yourself.

Love forms when there's an attractive mirroring and natural balance between two people. It's a process that can grow out of both infatuation and resentment, as both are forms of obsession. But live can also come naturally by being open and affectionate about life in general, hence why we also call it love between friends and family. There are different types of love, and one shouldn't mistake a mother's love for her son as romantic, even as one shouldn't end a romantic/sexual relationship just because it 'suffers' from the oscillation between polar opposites of infatuation and resentment, because this power dynamic is often what lies at the foundation of sexual attraction.

OP just needs to control himself in order to spark the same emotions in his crush, otherwise there won't be a dynamic and he'll end up an orbiter.

inb4 drama
always remember to have fun

>>17173689
>>17173720
OP here.
Replies like these are why i made this thread in the first place. I don't understand what the hell you guys are talking about.

>>17173738
>You are experiencing infatuation.
>It can be love.
>these aren't opposites.
>But not if you don't know how to seduce her.
>Or if she doesn't already secretly feel the same for you and acts first.

>>17173751
So love is reciprocated infatuation?

>>17173758
No.


Love isn't a feeling, it's more of a force and a state. To experience love can both be exciting and agonising, calming and pleasant. And it can feel different for both parties involved. You're still two different people. What one experiences as reciprocating can feel less so for the other.

If it grows and continues, or ends in misery, all depends in what you do. Love is not an act so much as it is the reason behind your actions. There is no guarantee for balance or equality, even if you both love each other. The love exists even if it's not reciprocated. You both got to be willing the same in order for a loving relationship to be possible, and it doesn't have to involve infatuation - but that's often how it starts.

>>17173773
All those words and you somehow still manage to say nothing. Argh, this is so frustrating! I'm almost on the verge of giving up and filing love in the category of words that people use but really means jack shit. Like god, or soul.

>>17173396
It's still chemical though. The more those love chemicals fired in the past, the more you are "bound" to her (you'll die for her"). It's nature's way of keeping two people together, since there can't be a physical tie.

>>17173778
So what? What do you want? We can understand love for you, nitwit.

Except that it is like soul or god.

To illustrate how unnecessary your dilemma is:
What is mind? Is it not heart? Is it not thought? Is it not soul?

It's all of the above and more; it's the theatre in which the universe occurs, for you, as such.

Love is the thing you know when understanding of deep connection can't be experienced through locality. It has no direction. It has no centre. Trying to understand it through words is like trying to drink a cake by painting a smell. You can't explain how you do it, but when it's real you know it.

>>17173822
>when it's real you know it.
I knew you'd say this, and it's such bullshit. Becuse i knew, yet /adv/ still went "nuhu, that's not love".
So i tried to understand it on an intellectual level, and /adv/ goes "nuhu, that's unpossible".

I'm apparently not allowed to understand love on an intuitive level, and it's apparently impossible to understand it intellectually.

>>17173842
I'm telling you that you are allowed. Remember, you ask /adv

Most people here are 19yo and cynical.

I'm 32 and I can tell you it'll take a lifetime to completely understand, and that is if you spend a lot of your time actually taking it seriously. People who claim that it's purely chemical lack real connection.

You are allowed to make up your own mind. And if you want to call eating a healthy breakfast an expression of love, you can do that. There are people in this world that believe love is a force greater than all others. Do you expect to understand this from a bunch of knowitalls on the internet? You don't have to decide on whether you get it or not, and you're allowed to change your mind if you do.

As Einstein once said, “The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.”

From what I've been able to tell, love is more or less the minds way of luring us into a potential mate. It's much more complicated now because of the way culture is structured, with how many people we see in a week and how vague most possible romantic advances are, love should really just be a main guide for how to act towards others, instead of a term to describe 2 primates being tricked into banging by complex feeling they don't understand.

>>17173876
It's just hard communicating when no one can agree on what something is.

>>17173889
Then accept the fact that any universal understanding of love necessarily has to be the culmination if all love experienced and expressed. Become a Zen Buddhist and sit in Vipassana meditation for the rest of your life, and maybe then you'll have a universal understanding.

Or contribute by merely being open to other people and both our likeness and our differences. Find someone who's willing to sit in silence with you, with constant eye contact for 30 minutes, and then tell me if you don't understand love just a little bit more.

Maybe this can be an eye opener for you, son. Live your own life in accordance with your own beliefs, and listen to your inner voice instead of naysayers on 4chan.

http://youtu.be/7sB4CXTnqY4