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should we have kids?

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hi /adv/ me and my wife have been married for 6 years now and i can go on with a really long list of amazing things we've done together but that's not what i came here for

the thing is, most of our family from both of our sides, including some of our friends and neighbors kept insisting for us to have at least one or two kids for our marriage

both of us decided to not have any kids at all, because truthfully we both don't like babies or kids nor do we think we both would make good parents
i usually brush off any kind of pressure from the others but lately people who are close to us kept threatening my wife on how not having kids will make her get breast or cervical cancer thingy and it made her really depressed

so what do you honestly think? is it really that big of a deal to decide not to have any kids?
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>>17158149
NO. Don't let someone force you into doing something you don't want. If you don't want kids, don't have them.
Make up a lie about how you're sterile or something, and you can't have kids. Maybe then people will stop pestering you. Hang in there, OP.
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If you don't want kids for fucks sake please don't have kids. You will ruin their lives and probably get divorced because of them, they will grow up disliking you etc. And don't lie about it to your family/friends. Stand up for your decision to not have kids, fuck their opinions.
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>>17158159
does telling people that i'm sterile really work though? i don't really want to start a rumor

>>17158168
that's exactly what we thought, it's just that it's been really hard for my wife lately
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I don't think those threats of having a higher risk for certain types of cancer due to not having kids actually have any evidence to back them up. Fuck what everyone else thinks or wants, it's your marriage. Don't have kids if you don't want kids. You'll be happier and wont risk giving a child a shitty upbringing because you didn't even want that child.
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>>17158149
How the hell are you even considering having kids for what people say?

If you just want reassurement, here you have another big NO. I could be easily the worst decision of your lives.
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>>17158149
OP I have three of em, but our life felt very incomplete and my husband and me really really wanted to have kids. We love our kids and if i were rich and had a huge house I'd even like to have one more.

Despite that they're a bigass load of work and effort and time consuming as hell especially the first 5 years, then it gets ever so slightly better with time. and if they enter your life you're a parent who won't stop worrying about their kids the fucking rest of your life.
Until. You. Die.

So yeah, OP you and your wife, if you really don't want kids don't have em. It's your life and you live for your partner and yourself. So don't listen to anyone else in that matter.
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>>17158149
>kept threatening my wife on how not having kids will make her get breast or cervical cancer thingy and it made her really depressed

If this is really the issue she can go to the doctor and if he really sees any threat she can get everything removed before the cancer breaks out. See Angelina Jolie.

Problem solved.

But maybe your wife secretly/unintendedly changed her mind and thats what makes her depressive.

In any case talk to her.
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>>17158178
Yeah, you definitely don't want to start a rumor. Sterility is sad, but I'm sure that some jackass would make a joke out of it if he believed that you were sterile, and that's not worth putting up with.

On top of that, you really don't need an excuse. If you don't want to have kids, then you don't have to have kids. It doesn't take a doctor's note to get you out of parenthood. You're lucky that you and your wife are on the same page.

Unfortunately, it sounds like you two are just going to have to deal with the pestering. I'm completely sure that it's better to take a little bit of abuse than it is to have your lives turned upside-down by a child that you don't want to have. You can always change your minds anyway.
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>not having kids will cause breast or cervical cancer
That's not how it works

>planting the seed of fear into someone's mind in order to convince them to do something you want them to do that they do not

Tell them to fuck off, and to not involve themselves in such affairs that are only between you and your wife.

No matter how much her/your family wants grandchildren, etc., it's none of their business and they have no right to demand such a thing of you.

If they haven't taken no for an answer so far, you need to be more stern with them in keeping their faces where they belong.
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>>17158149
>both of us decided to not have any kids at all,
ok
>should we have kids?
no
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The people around you sound really rude to be honest. You don't go aroundg telling people with kids they made a huge mistake, right? In my experience, turning the tables on people pestering you to have children, like Claire did in House of Cards, really shuts them up.

Wanting children is fine. Not wanting children is fine. People's incabability to understand that people want different things in life can be a bitch.

Also, people who have kids "for the marriage" end up resenting eachother and are shit parents.
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>>17158834
>people who have kids "for the marriage" end up resenting eachother and are shit parents

Can confirm
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Work on your acting skills.

Next time someone asks, look really hurt and upset. Say you've been trying and have seen a doctor, nothing's wrong but it hasn't been working. And you're starting to be scared it'll never happen.

For added effect, have your wife run off crying when they ask, leaving you to explain.

I mean why not if they're threatening you with cancer?
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People already answered pretty well apparently, but i just wanted to add that your friends and families seem a bit narrow-minded (not to say, moronic)

Children are not a thing you own, they're not a laptop you buy or whatever.
They're real human beings that will grow to live their very own lives. It seems completely obvious to state that, but emphasis needs to be put there. By "making" kids, you're literally creating new human lives. The importance of this is way beyond whatever the fuck anyone else thinks you should do. Since this is the life of your kids, this is a big part of your own life too.

If you do not want kids, that's totally fine. I'm pretty young (19), but i already know that i'll probably have kids, because i feel that i want kids. Not now, but in the future, yeah. This might change, maybe by the time i'm 25 i won't want children anymore. Maybe that'll change for you too at some point in you and your wife's future.

So do your thing dude, follow your instincts. Do whatever you feel like doing with your loved one, and don't listen to anyone else's opinion. They don't matter.
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>>17158149
if you and your wife both agree that you dont want kids thats fine. just be aware her feelings may change when she gets closer to menopause (40s) and then she cant have kids at all. all women get clucky every now and again but like gas the feelings pass.
dont make up rumors otherwise you will get all the firing blanks jokes etc. just say we decided we dont want kids. simple and to the point.
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>>17158857
>They're real human beings that will grow to live their very own lives.
>By "making" kids, you're literally creating new human lives. The importance of this is way beyond whatever the fuck anyone else thinks you should do.
>Since this is the life of your kids, this is a big part of your own life too.

I'm the girl with three of em and I can definitely confirm this OP.
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>>17158149
>we both don't like babies or kids
I can not stand babies. Even the ones I made. They're horrible little things that all need to be put in a sack with a couple of bricks and thrown in the nearest river. It's nothing short of a miracle that the human race ever made it past the first generation.

Kids aren't so bad though, particularly if they're yours. They're at their best between the ages of 3 and 8, and they're not unbearable even when they reach double digits. My eldest is coming up on 12 and I'm thinking about asking my wife if we can part exchange her for a dog or something.

>nor do we think we both would make good parents
It's insanley hard work, especially if you try to do a decent job of it. You might be able to get away with just feeding/watering them, putting clothes on their back and making sure they don't snort too much drain cleaner, but trying to raise them as functional members of society is a couple of orders of magnitude harder than that.

>is it really that big of a deal to decide not to have any kids?
Not at all mate. If you don't want them, don't have them, simple as. You wouldn't go and get a dog just because your neighbour said you should, right?
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no kids will never make you happy if you hate them even once
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> DO WHAT I SAY AND HAVE KIDS OR GET FUCKING CANCER

Too late op, your friend are cancer
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