ITT: Ask the Opposite Gender Anything

Am I missing on much due to my lack of sex life? It's not entirely by choice, though the last two relationships I've had were LDR and I only ended up having sex once with the one I did see. It was a special thing, call me corny, but I would rather be in a relationship where there's some love involved instead of trying to stick my dick in everything that walks. Thing is, I've had sex maybe 30 times in my entire life and most of it was throughout my childhood/teenage years, literally only once in my adulthood and that was a year ago. I definitely do desire sex, I even feel like I'm going crazy sometimes because I'm watching amateur porn or something and feel like I should be at least fucking something too. It's a conflict of interest though because I don't want to date anyone. Especially after getting out of an emotionally draining relationship, I just started college and I want to do good and not drop out again, I'm 22 and honestly I can't see myself having consistent sex until I'm married or in a long term commited relationship - both of which won't be soon.

I respect women, I know you are worth more than your sexuality, I can't tell if it's a status thing or a self worth thing though - this desire to have sex. Besides being biological.

Would I be looked down on by future girlfriends due to my inexperience or even friends? This shit is on my mind way too much actually, I might need professional help. Don't even know what my question was anymore

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>>17138447

Do you feel like you're missing out on something?

If Yes, then yes. If no, then no.

If what you want is a relationship, then do that. If you don't want to have sex outside of it, that's fine too. No one gives a shit, as long as you're comfortable and don't have a complex about it.

Pic related.

I went out on a "date" with a highschool friend of mine after three years of us not seeing each other. It wasn't really a date but it was sort of a date.

Anyways, we went to the cinema and I paid for her ticket and food (which she didn't eat much like popcorn), but am wondering, should I have had offered to pay?

Since we're not really going on a "date" but are going on a "date" since we haven't talked in three years and met up for movies.

>>17138545
No

Even on a date
Where i live only stuck up girls who think they're entitled to everything expect you to pay

>>17138557
So just to be clear, I shouldn't have paid?

>>17138558

Not that anon, but it's irrelevant. Paying, not paying, it changes absolutely nothing. The only people who think it does, are the guys who are desperate and think it magically transforms a not-date in to a date (it doesn't), and women who are there purely for a free meal.

If I wanted to tell a girl that I like her, would the following be ok, or would it be too corny?
"I like you, and enjoy your company. I would like to start dating you."

>>17138747

Errr... So while straight forward is usually good... that sounds like robotic levels of formal and stilted... This ain't 1816... I don't think you need to formally declare your intent to begin calling on someone for courtship...

Instead of a weird as hell "I would like to start dating you", why not just actually ask them on a date?

>>17138862
What happened in 1816?

>>17138862
I have gone out with her multiple times already.

>>17138904
>What happened in 1816?

What are <contextual clues>?
>This ain't 1816
>I don't think you need to formally declare your intent to begin calling on someone for courtship...

Current Year: 2016
>Implying you are trying to employ 200 year old dating practices.

>>17138908
Then maybe you should ask her what she thinks of the relationship, it's a conversation starter and if you aren't completely autistic you should be able to pinpoint whether she thinks you're already a monogamous couple.

>>17138908

Errr... then that shifts to, why would you ask to date someone you're already dating?

I think the question you are ACTUALLY trying to ask is either if she wants to date exclusively (meaning neither of you see anyone else), or if she wants to officially be in a relationship/be a couple (meaning you are boyfriend/girlfriend)

>>17138914
>>17138915
We aren't dating already.
We have been just going out together.
There hasn't been anything romantic between us, mostly because I am far too scared to initiate anything.

>>17138927
>I think the question you are ACTUALLY trying to ask is either if she wants to date exclusively (meaning neither of you see anyone else)

>>17138940
Again, we haven't been really dating. Just going out and hanging out together.
Unless that counts as dating. I don't even know if she likes me as anything more than a friend.

>>17138955
... I'm actually getting pretty annoyed here...

>why not just actually ask them on a date?

>I have gone out with her multiple times already.

>Errr... then that shifts to, why would you ask to date someone you're already dating?

>We aren't dating

Then why the hell are you making it sound like you are -.-.

Stop giving us the run around and ASK HER OUT.

>>17138955
It's you again, isn't it? Next time you hang out try to work the word date into it.

>>17138965
My point was actually more that asking her out on a *date* (whatever that would even entail then), seems kind of pointless because us having spent so much time together already. Isn't the point of going on a date to get to know the other person, right?
Seeing how we have hung out multiple times already, (most recently yesterday), I think that the "getting the know you" part is over already.

That is why I sorta want to just flat out tell her that I like her, and that I would like to have a relationship with her. As in, I want her to be my gf.

If you're talking to a girl a lot in a class how do you ask her to do something without it seeming like a date?

>>17138984
Jesus Christ you're fucking autistic. She won't date you

>>17138989
If there's some work or required reading that has to be done, ask her if she wants to study with her.

It's probably better just to be direct and ask her if she wants to grab a coffee after class, though.

>>17138990
How is that helpful? And no, I am not autistic.
I just have zero experience with this sort of shit, so I don't know what the fuck I should do.

>>17138994
>It's probably better just to be direct and ask her if she wants to grab a coffee after class, though.
I did that, and then she said she wouldn't have enough time, so it got quiet and awkward and then we went our own ways ealier today.

This is to women, so let me ask you this.

Do you get intimidated if a man is a big man (not fat, in shape but really wide shoulders) and he never ever smiles? If he talks to the point and never flirts with you, what is your impression of a guy like this.

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I fell in love with some girl at my college, she already has a boyfriend since 3 years and is 3 years older than me.
I knew for a while that I didn't have a chance, so I never confessed.
We hung out together very often at college and worked together very often.

During the last week's of the school year, we had much less classes and more free time, and I had much less new from her, she almost never talked to me.

Yesterday was the last day of this college year, we won't see each other for 3 months and maybe much more (or even never again) if I go study in another country next year.
The only thing she said to me by text was asking for help for the last work.
I 'm a "nice guy" , I can't think for myself so I help when asked, but not even having a "goodbye" or a "good holiday" from her actually hurt me more than I thought. Especially when she almost didn't talked to me for the last weeks.
In the end, I didn't ' t answered and haven't got news since.

When I think about it, we almost only talked for work or projects. She doesn't know me that much and that's the same for me.

I 'm asking this, did she valued me at all? Even as a friend? As I said we were often together at college.
Or way I just a useful but disposable nice idiot to her?
I didn' t said anything to her either, I'm not the kind who keep in touch with people, I don't dare, I'm afraid, I don't really know.

And how do I "move on"? I realize that I wasn't much to her and I kind of feel miserable now.

>>17139001
If she didn't try to reschedule she *probably* isn't interested in you sexually.

>>17139035
>>17138989

>>17139035
>*probably*
why is that in scare asterisks?

>>17139030
>We hung out together very often at college and worked together very often.
>When I think about it, we almost only talked for work or projects.

Make up your mind...

>She doesn't know me that much and that's the same for me.

I'm going to assume that that's probably the truth of this. Whatever you *felt*, you never showed interest in even having anything as basic as a friendship, so the basis of your relations was purely schoolwork. Consequently, that's what she saw it as, a schoolwork relation.

Don't try to change the narrative of real life to match what's in your head, because whatever exists in your head, it absolutely doesn't matter if you never act on it.

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>>17138326
I've got some stuff from /pol/ and similar areas. Can I have people's opinion on this? Mostly for femanons, but I imagine /adv/ has vastly different opinions to the other areas of this site, so all are welcome.

I'll post more once I've got some replies to this, I've got a good dump of /pol/ stuff.

>>17138862
What should I say to her then, if my wording was too clumsy?

>>17139055
I have troubles showing affection, I 'm afraid of being too close I think.
I tried to make efforts. Stupid thing, I like to draw and people says that's I' m good at it. She asked me to do a drawing for her and I did. It sounds childish, but as I said I 'm not used to show affection or to gift people...
We actually were very often together at college, we often talked about work, the rest was justice talking about random things.I can' t recall our conversations but we laughed very often, and other saw us as an "elderly couple" be cause we were often fighting over stupid things (it never was big deal)
I thought she learned to know me a bit and still saw me as a friend.

>>17139059
Didn't that just say that listening to advice from women is pointless.

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>>17139070
It's still worth getting an opinion, and I've got other stuff to post, like pic related.

>>17139055


Forgot to ask that in >>17139064 but should I text her to apologize on how I can act as cold and say what I feel about our friendship (not that's I love her, that's wouldn't bring anything good) ? Should I wait for her to ask me something (if she ever does)

>>17139060
>>17138984
God damn someone just help me with this shit.

>>17139041
>why is that in scare asterisks?
It's used for emphasis. Comes from some older applications that would interpret asterisks surrounding a word as an instruction to bold that word in the output.
Same with underscores like _this_: they meant _italics_.
Nowadays we use less common signals to minimize accidental misformatting: eg 2+ asterisks for **bold**, 2+ underscores for __italics__, 2+ backticks for ``inline code``, etc. Though i think the official markdown doc spec still says one should work.
One of the many interesting things programmers have done to the English language.

>>17139059
Skimming it, some are good tips that apply to dating women in general, but most seems like standard PUA repertoire.
Good advice if you want to bang sluts on the regular.
But if your goals are different, it's likely to be unhelpful at best.

>>17139072
That's actually pretty good, thought it was going to be some stupid reddit bullshit from the title but it was an enjoyable read. I like hearing trans perspectives on gender, they have more experience than the rest of us.

>>17139093
Ask her out on an actual date (such as dinner at a nice restaurant).
It's less awkward than declaring your affection (which i personally enjoy but i'm really goddamn old-fashioned).

>>17139117
What would asking her out on a date entail then? What should I do different from our regular hanging outs?
We are both poor as shit students, so going to a nice restaurant is sorta out of the question, but I guess I could ask her to come with me to something else.

But again, seeing how we have been hanging out together so much already, I don't really understand what going on a *date* with her would accomplish at this point, unless there is something different I needed to do in the case of a date.

Just telling her that I like her seems so much simpler.

Both, I guess.

Do you rely on pulling out only?

>>17139124
Hell no

Girls
I wrote a song (piano piece) for someone. Do girls actually care about that shit?

>>17139074

What do? Help me, I have no idea on what to do

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>>17139072
>>17139117
>That's actually pretty good, thought it was going to be some stupid reddit bullshit from the title but it was an enjoyable read. I like hearing trans perspectives on gender, they have more experience than the rest of us.
Guess I'll post the next one in my list, any comments on the first one? >>17139059

What is your opinion about confessing to a girl in the early stages of dating? Some say it's good to be direct, others say be alpha and shit..

>>17139117
>>why is that in scare asterisks?
>It's used for emphasis. Comes from some older applications that would interpret asterisks surrounding a word as an instruction to bold that word in the output.

Then why not emphasize not with *not*?

>>17138545

I definitely wouldn't have let you pay if we were just going as friends, so you might be in there. But then, she might be one of those people that just doesn't ask questions if someone shoves free popcorn in her hands, so no guarantees.

>>17139122
>>17139093
OK, you seem to struggle a bit with this, so ill start with definitions:

what makes dating different from normal meeting is the goal. The goal of dating is to form a relationship/have sex/finding a partner. The goal is always to get closer.

The first (few) dates don't need to be different from spending time together otherwise as long as its mostly about you two. but if I want to date a girl I will soon try to make it obvious, and these steps are kind of necessary so try not to skip a lot of them:
- finding out what she likes/does/wants
- touching her hands/back/hair/belly
- holding hands
- long hugging and fondling
- kissing
- dressed foreplay
- "the talk" (= should mostly come from the girl, she will ask what your goals are. if you are looking for just sex or something serious. if this is exclusive and the use of condoms and the like should/could be on the agenda aswell. If she doesnt initiate the talk, feel free to do that at some point usally after the first sex)
- sex
- some times later you ask the person if it didnt happen before to be exclusive and some more times later you ask her to be your GF/BF
- try to find out what she likes sexually


you are at the moment at step One but it seems you try to tell her you want to be BFGF with her which is way down there on the list, at least the way you are wording this on here. The answer will be automatically no, because you skipped too many steps and she cant see any intimacy going for you.

Do the steps in that order and what you want will happen, or not if she doesnt want the same.

>>17139124
I'd hope nobody here is dumb enough for that, but i know better by now

>>17139122
>I don't really understand what going on a *date* with her would accomplish at this point, unless there is something different I needed to do in the case of a date.
Come on man, this isn't rocket science: the point is that this is how ordinary people usually acknowledge mutual attraction.
The male declares his attraction and intention by asking the female whether she would like to engage in a romantic activity with him; if the female is attracted and wishes to pursue the relationship, she accepts.

What you actually then go and do on the date is another story entirely, see >>17139246 if you're confused about that part.

>>17139137
Commented on it in that post >>17139117 actually.

>>17139001

She probably thought it was a date thing.

Might be hard to salvage from there, but there's honestly no real reason you can't just be blunt and say "hey do you wanna do x (but just as friends btw)?"
I mean, part of the benefit of just friends is being able to be blunt. It's when you're trying to date someone that you have to be subtle about it. And trying to subtly emphasise that something's not a date (eg inviting her to a group event, mentioning other girls, etc) pretty much just does the exact opposite and gives off that vibe of 'desperate to not seem desperate', because that's exactly the kind of shit people do when trying to woo someone while seeming casual.

>>17139007
guy here
ambiguity (= if she asks her self if this guy is flirtign with me) is for many woman an act of flirting on its own. But the impression depends on a lot more factors, mostly if you make her laught and have fun.

>>17139124
for two weeks with my first GF, yes
but then we got the pill for her.

>>17139007

It really depends. Like, the context of knowing him. If he's a friend of a friend and we never speak, I could definitely see feeling intimidated or discomforted by the social pressures involved. If it's some guy at the office, who cares, he aint hurting nobody.

I don't feel like size is a huge factor. And simply not smiling or flirting is whatever, not really a problem. It's giving off an overall vibe of unfriendliness or judgementalness that'd be a problem, but that's not something so easily described.

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>>17139246
>asking someone to be your gf/bf after you have had sex with them.
That makes zero sense to me.

Anyways, I already know a quite lot about her interests, hobbies etc, as we have been chatting about such things when we have been hanging out.
In regards to touching etc, I am just utterly clueless about that shit, and I am friggin afraid of even touching her.

Just telling her that I like her, and would like to start dating seems so much simpler.

>>17139252
>Come on man, this isn't rocket science
It is for me.

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>>17139137
>>17139117
>>17139059
>>17139252
>Commented on it in that post >>17139117 actually.
Ah, missed that - next one then.

>>17139134

Generally, girls care about anything if it comes from someone they're into.

I'd be massively into it, myself, but that might be because I just like the piano and used to play (and was at that sweet spot of mediocrity where it's really cool to see someone else do it well while I can just sit back and ride the nostalgia wave without having to put any effort in).
Dunno what someone without any music background would think.

>>17139283

>>17139263
>That makes zero sense to me.
I know, thats why I try to explain it to you.

Maybe a medical example can help here:
you are starting out new in the field just finished med school. Your goal is becoming a heart surgeon (=relationship), so what do you do? do you gradually improve your surgeon skills (following these steps I pointed out) or do you expect to transplant a heart (= become BFGF) on your own on the very first day at work. You have to earn the trust from your boss step by step, and only if he sees, that you can sew the patient, assist a surgeon, have the knowledge, have the skills and have the stamina, he will let you perform your first open heart surgery.
Intimacy needs to be build up just like trust as it requires trust, that you cant just skip. otherwise its like performing an open heart surgery on an awake patient with zero experience and a steak knife.

you can always tell her you like her as a compliment, you can always give her those.

About the doing, it really isnt as grave as it sounds, you are not going to die if it fails.
one nice thing i like to do is: have a walk during the rain together, you have a big umbrella in the middle of you two in your hand and you invite her to hold onto your arm with an inviting gesture. Otherwise go to the cinema, watch a movie and just grab her hand at the beginning.
just do it, nothing bad is going to happen if she isnt super feminist in disguise.

About kissing, well I honestly just ask lately. "may I kiss you?" with my current GF the situation was when I spent the night at her place (without sex), in the morning I asked her. last GF was outside of her home, hugging and saying goodbye after a good date and us joking about how i will surprise her with my kiss, she was my first and i talked to her what I had set as my goal, like holding hands etc. on every date.

I know it might look scary, but nothing bad happens, let this be told to you by a guy with quite some experience in the field.

What are some good ways to calm down before a date?

I'm going on one later today, it's basically my first ever with a girl I don't really know that well(friend of a friend that I met twice so far).
I finally managed to gather the courage to ask somebody out, but I'm pretty nervous right now.

A bunch of retarded questions about what I should and shouldn't do keep haunting me even though I've read most of the google results about "first dates". I just hate awkward silences and am actually afraid of them for some reason.

Is drinking a shot or few a good idea? I can't exercise since I hurt my back earlier this week and spent the rest in bed.

>>17139323
But don't you need to be in a relationship before you can even start touching the other person?

>>17139331
be open and upfront during the date, go talk to a male friend or your father about it if you have the time.
Always limit the date in time, especially the first one you ever have. at the beginning say "I can only stay until Xpm because I do Y later on" or soemthing like this.
Realise, that you are trying something for the first time that you have never doen before. And as long as you dont insult her or get angry, you will always win more experience than you loose out on opportunities.

You might like her or not, but if it doesnt work out, its just not meant to be at the moment. Dont take the outcome personal. it can always suck.

>>17139338
Is she or are you faithful christian or muslim or from such a background?

social relationships are always named after the level of trust you have earned.

just as
foreigner / collegue/ friend/ good friend/ bro
this also applies to dating
foreigner / person I see or date or have sex with / exclusive sexually / relationship / SO / engaged / married / happy old husband and wife

there is a level between foreigner and a relationship. Unless your relgion dictates otherwise.

>>17139354
>Is she or are you faithful christian or muslim or from such a background?

What? No, neither of us are religious at all.

What a weird world we live in, when believing that you shouldn't have sex with people who you aren't in a relationship with is something that brands you as a religious nut.
Well, that's what I believe in at least. I don't know what her views on the above are.

Still, I can't just touch her without knowing if she is ok with that or not, and as it is, I got no fucking clue if she is ok with me touching her.

>>17139354
I see, thanks.
We're seeing a play and then a blues gig at a cabaret, I'll limit the time we spend at the gig then.
I'll try and meet up with a friend before this to ease myself a bit.

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Questions for the guys:

1. How different does it feel to just want to bang a girl vs when you have the feels for her?
2. What makes a girl gf material?
3. Would you ever play a good/innocent grill just for the sake of it?
4. Would you spend hours texting a girl if you didn't genuinely like her?
5. What about girls absolutely baffles you?

>>17139457
>1. How different does it feel to just want to bang a girl vs when you have the feels for her?
I don't know, I'm one of those people that can't bang people they don't like
>2. What makes a girl gf material?
It depends of the guy's taste. I like cute, clumsy and smart girls for example
>3. Would you ever play a good/innocent grill just for the sake of it?
Never
>4. Would you spend hours texting a girl if you didn't genuinely like her?
No
>5. What about girls absolutely baffles you?
Their weird way of thinking

Girls, how does it feel when someone or yourself stimulates/plays around with your breasts? And does it honestly turn you on?

>>17139457
1.I have never had sex, but I wouldn't be able to be intimate with a person I didn't like in the first place.

2.Hard to say, I have never had a gf. The chick I got a crush on however, is fun to be around, seems honest, and in general, a good person, with whom I click very well.

3.What?

4.Nope. I rarely even text people I actually like.

5.How they can't seem to be able to say things straight, and instead do shit like start ignoring you suddenly, with no explanation.

>>17139457
1.
When you love the girl its amazing when you dont its glorified mastrubation, but again i only had sex with the girls i wad with

2.for me its the awkward, shy, clumsy, geeky girl who is cute and imperfect.
If you need more info well i cant relax on a daily basis si if i can actually relax around a girl and i think she's attractive and se have common interests and if she's a decent person she would be complete gf material
3. No thats just evil
4. Yes, if she needs help or a person to talk to ill do it, I've been there and i can relate
5. The games they play and how they assume you can read minds

Girls, how do I be more dominant/rough with my partner without crossing any weird lines? I know she wants me to take charge but I just don't know what is or isn't acceptable

>>17139512
Ask her

People have different views on whats appropriate

>>17139457
1. One is about intimacy, the other is just a toy to use.
2. Honesty and loyalty, doesn't matter what kind of guy you are, if your not loyal or honest then people will either just use you or ignore you.
3. No.
4. No, could just be friends.
5. Haven't spoken to enough girls to find a pattern in them which would baffle me, every girl seems different...

How do I get my gf to swallow

>>17139527
Depends on her reason not to. If she just doesn't want to, maybe talk to her and try to compromise. Find something you can do for her too. If she gags or just can't swallow the consistency, not much you can do. There are diets online that are supposed to change flavor/consistency, but still doesn't guarantee she'll swallow.

>>17139254
> gives off that vibe of 'desperate to not seem desperate', because that's exactly the kind of shit people do when trying to woo someone while seeming casual.
I wonder if the average person does any of that introspection or meditation stuff, or ever thinks about what they're thinking at all.
I know if i thought these kinds of thoughts i would be deeply ashamed of myself.
Weren't we all taught that judging people is a bad thing?

Guys:
yesterday, the bf and i had the spontaneous idea to watch some porn together. Well, it was actually my idea. It was rather meh. We could not find a vid that wasn't pretty much awkward af. It was also rather unerotic. I guess my bf was anxious about him getting turned on by it. He asked me if it didn't bother me if he watches other girls and i told him that it's just porn and that i have no problem with that. I also aked him if it bothers him when i watch other guys and he said it doesn't. Was that a stupid idea or was it just awkward because we never did anything the like before? We still got turned on and had sex. And it also sparked some interesting conversation about stuff we want to try out.

Guys, what's the youngest girl you'd go for (relationship-wise) assuming she was awesome and your maturity levels were compatible?

And girls, what's the oldest you'd go for?

>>17139386
how do you greet each other?
formal handshake?
hug?
kissing the cheeks?

chances are if you dont touch her and are very hesitant about doing that, you will not grow any sexual tension with her. Ask girl what touching means to them in regards to dating. you could ask your girl, but that would be unromantic by my judgement.

>>17139625
Forget to ask if anyone knows what we can do to make this more exciting?

>>17139457
>1. How different does it feel to just want to bang a girl vs when you have the feels for her?
Totally different. I don't act on the first. Without feels, sex isn't any better than masturbation for me.
>2. What makes a girl gf material?
Introversion. Too bad that's so rare in the field i've chosen, i'd probably have better luck if i wanted a bimbo with a 20-inch waist and tits as big as her head.
>3. Would you ever play a good/innocent grill just for the sake of it?
Fuck no. Sociopaths exist though.
>4. Would you spend hours texting a girl if you didn't genuinely like her?
Probably not, unless she kept texting me (i'm polite i guess, i don't tell people to shut up).
>5. What about girls absolutely baffles you?
For one, why girls are so normal. I haven't encountered ANY girls with significant social dysfunctions other than those with severe deformity or disease, while there seem to be plenty of guys (1 in 200?) with such issues (social anxiety, high-functioning autism, schizophrenia-spectrum disorders, paranoids, schizoids, miscellaneous social misfits, etc).
I am one myself, i look for these people since they're potential friends, so it bothers me.
In my life I've attended 8 schools across 3 states and 2 countries, with a variety of socioeconomic and ethnic environments, and this has held true (schools are probably the best place to encounter strange people because everyone in the area must attend).
And on a related note, why girls cut and engage in parasuicide so often. I don't want to call it attention-seeking because I know what depression and anxiety can be (have both, treatment-resistant, over 10 years). It's just that i never had the slightest urge to cut or "attempt suicide" (only to commit it).

Sorry, that's some really dark shit but i guess it's what actually bothers me other than what bothers every guy, like the flirting hieroglyphics.

>>17139656
>Guys, what's the youngest girl you'd go for (relationship-wise) assuming she was awesome and your maturity levels were compatible?
any girl that has started puberty

>>17139656
Guy,
18 years old

>>17139664
>Too bad that's so rare in the field i've chosen
What field is that anon?

>For one, why girls are so normal. I haven't encountered ANY girls with significant social dysfunctions other than those with severe deformity or disease, while there seem to be plenty of guys (1 in 200?) with such issues (social anxiety, high-functioning autism, schizophrenia-spectrum disorders, paranoids, schizoids, miscellaneous social misfits, etc).
Because they usually keep to themselves or just don't go out enough for you to come across them. I have bad social anxiety, it's horrible but I manage to come across as "normal" by faking my confidence. You've probably met a lot of these girls they just don't show it.

I used to think that I was very rare for being so messed up emotionally but the more people I met at college the more I realized just how damn common things like anxiety and depression are. It's a relief to know others go through it but sad that it's so common.

>why girls cut and engage in parasuicide
That I'll never get. To be honest I've been horrifically depressed and suicidal but would never cut or do anything that would reveal my problems. Cutting only adds more issues to the issue bag. And suicide would fix my problem but create more problems for my family. Absolutely disgusting.

>>17139457
>1. How different does it feel to just want to bang a girl vs when you have the feels for her?
a lot, the one is standing hungry in front of a steak the other is involving deep feelings

>2. What makes a girl gf material?
three things for me:
looks good enough (like her type. not overweight and clean)
is intellectually pleasing (in my case scientific interest, a bit of nerddom and smartness)
has a nice character (treats everyone nice, heartfull and warm. And with dignity and respect, is trying to make me feel good)

>3. Would you ever play a good/innocent grill just for the sake of it?
If I date you, i am looking if you fit my three goals and if you seriously limbo one or more of those the relationship is over and my interest is gone.
What happened a bit lately was, that women texted me first on online dating websites, disregarding what I stated I am looking for on my profile and basically where all over me in the matter of 1-2 dates. if that happens, well I limit it to sex. Same with ONS.

>4. Would you spend hours texting a girl if you didn't genuinely like her?
like her in what way? generally if there is something interested to talk about I would talk for hours with friends for that matter.

>5. What about girls absolutely baffles you?
how sometimes groups of girls can be very welcoming and kind when they like you and very discouraging and demotivating you when they dont.
Also This https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg
I will never get this kind of perspective

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>>17139501
Are you me?

Anyway I have a very stupid question.
I'm 19, never had a gf or anything, I fell in love for the first time this year.
I think I am maybe too entitled about women. The one I live has flaws, but I like those flaws, it's actually what I prefer.

I don't think that I 'm hideous, however I' m a skinny manlet. Is there something wrong with me? Or at I unlucky or too complicated?
It has to be me the problem, I guess, sadly...
What's could it be? I don't have any confidence in myself, I try to put a good show but deep inside I hate myself.
Does women see that? Is it somehow attractive in some world?
Do I have to love myself to be loved? Or at least tolerate myself?

Can we please stop replying to the guy with a crush on the girl from his dorm (this guy: >>17138747 )?

He has been asking for advice for two months, isn't listening to anything we said and every single thread is filled with his questions.

Women, whats your opinion on men who are virgins above the age of 25?

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>>17139659
We don't touch at all when greeting.
That's mostly because we are Finns though.
Touching someone else when greeting them isn't really done here.

>>17139741
If he is not my boyfriend, I don't care.
If he is my boyfriend/someone I'm dating, I'd wonder why he is still virgin.

It is definitely weird, but not a deal breaker (as long as he doesn't care about my sexual history, I guess).

>>17139457
>1. How different does it feel to just want to bang a girl vs when you have the feels for her?
The first one is like wanting some potato chips, the second one is like wanting a medium rare steak(or however you like it cooked).
>2. What makes a girl gf material?
Unconditionally oyal, friendly, and supportive.
>3. Would you ever play a good/innocent grill just for the sake of it?
Play as in, mess with? No, never. I know guys that do, but there is already too few good people in this world.
>4. Would you spend hours texting a girl if you didn't genuinely like her?
Yes, but I would do it even if I liked her as a friend.
>5. What about girls absolutely baffles you?
How some can be so kind and so caring one day and the next break a promise and stab you in the heart.

>>17139760
>How some can be so kind and so caring one day and the next break a promise and stab you in the heart.

Conditioning. Girls socialize and grow up primarily with other girls. Many of those years are absolutely horrific. They're like sociopaths to one another. It amazes me that any girl can make it to 18 and not be a paranoid, cutthroat, borderline insane person. They really go through hell and back in their friendships/interpersonal relationships.

>>17139457
1) Just banging a girl is another level above masturbation and feels like you're emptying the tank. Actually liking a girl makes it emotionally enjoyable as well.
2) Different lives different gybes. Personally I prefer someone who can function by themselves and don't need to cling onto you.
3) No that's cruel.
4) If she needed someone to talk to yes, but generally speaking no.
5) How different groups of girls can be compared to groups of guys. I mean in their behaviour, what they talk about, etc.

>>17139664
>I haven't encountered ANY girls with significant social dysfunctions other than those with severe deformity or disease
If you wanna be around girls like that, give Tumblr a try. There are a lot of them there.

I lost my virginity to a girl i liked but turned out to be a complete whore
Should i feel bad? Will it affect my future relationships?

>>17139850
>Should i feel bad?
Feel however you want to feel about it.

>Will it affect my future relationships?
Only if you fixate on it.

>>17139850
Unless she's cheating on you right now you shouldn't feel bad. It's all past shit bro.

So I went on my boyfriend's computer (my account, not his account) for the first time in, I dunno, I'd say a few days. When I booted up Chrome I was welcomed to this. http://one-night-affair.com/?u=0t0pae3&o=1c0e9u2&t=
I've asked him via text about it but now I just gotta wait for him to respond, but until then, is it unreasonable for me to worry? Though I'm doing a virus scan right now in case we have some sort of redirect virus on here since this really doesn't seem like the kind of thing he would be doing. He's smarter than to use some crappy site like this. He's a shy little nerd too so I couldn't see him cheating on me anyway.

>>17139857
Im planninh on leaving her coz all she cares about is party and booze, desu i dont really blame her coz she had a rough childhood and shitty bfs, but i cant leave her now Coz it's her birthday today and her parents are divorcing. I mean, i feel pretty bad about myself for thinking like that, but i dont wanna clean someone else's broken dishes, if you know what i mean

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Women, is it intimidating if an older, respected, traveled, and well educated man messages you out of nowhere? What's going through your heads? Say, the girl is 20 and the guy is 30 for reference.

I have been told by my female friends that I am very intimidating when they first met me in person. They all knew of me beforehand from my presence in our field. Like, they all had this crazy image of me being someone I am not in their heads. They thought I would be a tall, wearing a James Bond suit playboy that drips gold and bodacious women. Their image of me was an extremely outgoing suave character based on what they saw or heard about me online.

In reality, that's the complete opposite of what I actually am. While I have lived in a dozen cities around the world and I am very educated I am extremely shy and introvert/awkward. I'm not trying to brag here honestly and truly but pretty much everyone that has known me considers me the most interesting person they have ever known. It's just they were scared shitless of me before they got to know me.

I haven't met that many super interesting women but the ones I have met intimidate the fuck out of me even when they are super similar to me. Same skill level, same education, same travel experiences, same industry respect. These ladies say they had the same "unobtainable playboy" image of me that my friends had as well.

I have also been told my shy, awkward nature comes off as "I am too good to talk to you" when really I'm just soul crushingly shy. Is that really how shyness comes off?

I know how it feels to be intimidated by someone and it's scary. How do I make myself more approachable to girls?

>>17139883
Those sites are 100% scams. No women use them ever. The whole "ashley madison" leak was proof of that.

Odds are he was just on a porn site and that was an ad that popped up, That's exactly the type of site that comes up as a popup at on youporn or whatever.

Also, a /soc/ and /s/ cam whore image was on their front page haha. The super well know red head that posts nudes all the time. Fucking amazing 10/10 body but average/cute face.

>>17139656
I wouldn't go for anyone more than 5 years older. Even that's a lot to me. I say the closer in age you are, the better.
>tfw only 4 months apart from SO

>>17139925
You come across like a total douche bag which is why girls dont like you at first. They like you once they get to know you and see you aren't a douche bag but rather and insecure and feeble/humble person. Try not being such a douche bag in the first place

>>17139656
guy here.

18 and I am 29. Any woman over 30 is completely invisible to me. I have never dated a girl over 22.

it doesn't matter the maturity level. Any aged girl is exactly the same. They all cling to a man that can take care of them. A man that can make all their decisions for them.Whether they are 16 or 30 it doesn't matter. Might as well get the youngest, still legal, girl I can so she will keep her looks longer.

>>17139925
Back when I was a teen I found out I'm really into older guys (from using dating sites like okc). Guys my age would bore me, but suddenly there were guys that I could talk to. But I certainly was awkward with the first couple guys I went out with since I had no other experience with men (since I had no interest in my peers). So maybe the girls are not intimidated, but inexperienced.
With that knowledge under my belt I then felt more comfortable being the initiator of conversation with younger men, and I understood they aren't boring, I just need to make them feel comfortable and then they open up and are not much different from older men.

That being said, if someone I don't know messages me on facebook- I am not intimidated, I am just ignoring you because facebook is not a dating site and I don't even want to know how you stumbled upon my profile. There's plenty of women like me on sites like okc where we state the age range we want to talk to and you can even see what I am into before messaging.
But most importantly, communication is not about you. That's why you're having problems. You're thinking about yourself while you should be thinking about the person in front of you.

>>17139935
Alrighty, I had a feeling I was overthinking shit. Thank you.

>>17139948
>douchebag
>insecure and feeble/humble person.
So which is it. Either I am full of myself or I am insecure. You logic is absolutely idiotic.

Shy=/=insecure. Introvert=/=humble Feeble doesn't even make sense in this context. So again, you're an idiot that makes wild assumptions based on idiotic logic.

I also asked for women's response and you are clearly not female. Your post judging an anon's character and personality with absolutely no way to know what that person is actually like would be a nice example of insecurity.and projection.

So way to go. You're a dumbass.

>>17139961
kek were you trying to prove the anon's point for a satirical twist or...?

>>17139957
>But most importantly, communication is not about you. That's why you're having problems. You're thinking about yourself while you should be thinking about the person in front of you.

I'm thinking about how to make myself more approachable to make the other person more relaxed and to be themselves. Communication is an exchange. It's about me just as much as it is about the other person. Can't have one without the other.

As for facebook, my best relationships have came from social media sites. My longest relationship came from a girl that would watch my stream. I actually made a joke GF application and had 20+ replies and thats how I met her lololol.

I have only met 4 women I would consider equal or better than me in our field. I really really would like a lady that's better than I am but they are extremely rare.

>>17139971
>anon's point
It's you. Just... calm your tits.

Is it irrational to feel jealous when bf doesn't talk to me for a long time but then I see him posting stuff on other girls social media like asking what's up?

>how does it feel when someone or yourself stimulates/plays around with your breasts?
Breddy gud
>And does it honestly turn you on?
Oh yeah

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>>17139690
>What field is that anon?
Medicine. I only have myself to blame for being alone here, I knew all the other weird guys were going into CS and engineering.

>Because they usually keep to themselves or just don't go out enough for you to come across them.
>You've probably met a lot of these girls they just don't show it.
I don't go out either, I mean at schools and other things we can't avoid.
And I mean seriously bad, bad enough for it to obviously impair socialization, bad enough to be blatantly obvious (eg no friends, can't hold a conversation, never speaks, sits alone and silent every class, etc).
Though I guess that might be easier for girls, people come up and try to talk to you i guess?

>It's a relief to know others go through it but sad that it's so common.
Heh. I guess I've had the exact opposite experience: i'm the least well-adjusted person in my 200+ student cohort by a huge margin, only 2 others that could even be described as "introverts".
I feel a bit like Rainman now. Or like the prequel to House, except with stimulants and beta blockers instead of vicodin.

>>17139989
Nope, I was the old man loving lady from this post
>>17139957
So about your response >>17139987
Cool story about the app, but my point about facebook still stands. If you haven't messaged random females on facebook, great job, don't start now.

As for finding intellectual equals, if you are at a certain level, you attend events with other professionals of your level. Currently I've started developing a new skill, I'm attending classes and the people there, well, they are sweet, with their experiences but little to no knowledge of my specialty. So, yes, they come off as dumb, but I would be dumb if I expected abstract conceptual conversations from random people just trying out a new skill. The point is, either you are looking in the wrong place or you're not at the level you think you are. And judging from your explosive response to that anon, you are an emotional individual, driven by feelings, not rational judgement. But neither me nor the anon know you, so we just say what we think based on what you are giving us. This isn't /b, we are not out to get you, we don't want to troll you, but we give critical advice if we believe it would be of use to you. Hugs and kisses and good luck, bud

>>17139990
>bf doesn't talk to me for a long time
How long we talking about here?

"A long time" could mean an hour to some girls.

My ex would get fucking jealous if I pet the cat.

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For some reason, the girl I got a crush on seems to be ignoring me again, and it bothers the hell out of me.

Yesterday, we had a great time together, as we went to the museum, and hung out in the city together. I got the feeling that she enjoyed that day too, as she seemed to have fun and actually insisted that we did more stuff than just go to the museum as we had initially planned. We also talked about possibly going to see a protest today at the city, but today, when I asked if she was still going there, and if she would mind if I tag along, she only replied that she would leave in an hour. After that, when I knocked on her door and said that I was ready to go, she told me that she didn't want to go there just yet, so I went alone to the city.

A hour ago I asked her on facebook if she went to see the protest on her own, to which she hasn't replied at all, despite seeing the message.
I just want to spend time with her, and this sort of ambiguity is killing me. If she didn't want to spend time with me, I wish that she would flat out tell me so. The fact that she is living in the same apartment complex, just few rooms from mine, is driving me nuts.

Can someone help me understand this shit? Am I just over analyzing this?

>>17140024
Like for a day. It just feels like he doesn't care since he will ask other girls how they are and try to chat them up but doesn't ask how I am. But well, it isn't flirting, it just feels kinda sad for me.

>>17139842
>give Tumblr a try. There are a lot of them there.
But tumblr is a blogging platform, what would I blog about? I probably talk to myself enough already.

>>17139925
>It's just they were scared shitless of me before they got to know me.
>I have also been told my shy, awkward nature comes off as "I am too good to talk to you" when really I'm just soul crushingly shy. Is that really how shyness comes off?
I hope people don't think this about me. They probably don't though, probably obvious i just don't have any social skills (eg sometimes people say "that's all" to indicate that the conversation is over, otherwise i can't tell when i'm supposed to go back to what i was doing or walk away).
I really do want to talk to them, i'm just god-awful at it.

>>17140021
>Driven by feelings, not rational judgement.
>But neither me nor the anon know yo
Calling someone an idiot because they don't know me at all yet call me an insecure, feeble douchebag is a rational response. That person is making a stupid judgement. And stupid is as stupid does.

>If you haven't messaged random females on facebook, great job, don't start now.
More than likely they will want to message me but are scared. The last girl I did "randomly" message on facebook because she seemed more interesting than others, openly said she had been wanting to try to talk to me for the longest time but was too intimidated by me and my status to do it. This has happened enough times that it's frustrating me. I want to be treated like a normal person but because of my status and skill level people have a "bigger than life" image of me in their heads.

Do you honestly think I am making this up? Do you think it's all in my head? I have had more people than I can count say they were intimated by their perceived image of me and my status in my field. I'm not going to get character witnesses to sign notarized statements. Girls are either intimated or try too hard to impress me when we go out. More than once has a girl completely fabricated their entire personality because they wanted to be good enough for who they think I am. I know everyone does this a little bit when first getting to know a partner but these girls created completely different personas to fit that intimidating image of me.

Being annoyed because you would rather speculate than actually use the info provided to you is both an emotional and rational judgement.

>This isn't /b, we are not out to get you, we don't want to troll you,
Ok now you're just being naive. This is 4chan. It doesn't matter which board you are on. 9/10 replies are shitposts.

>>17139656
Guy. I'm 22
I prefer girls my age, or older. It would be hard for me to date a girl under 20. 19 would be the absolute youngest.

I'm not even really sure how to approach this.

Basically, the majority of my relationships have been because the women thought I was "safe". A friend of mine recently even said I'm the kind of guy she'd like to end up with, because she respected me. When I asked her about it, she even admitted there was no real romantic interest, I'm just dependable respective to her ex's. It's not like she's the only one who's said this, and I just end up feeling like a backup option. Something you don't really have strong feelings on one way or another.

This has always been nagging at me in the background but recently it's been really messing with me. Sometimes I just want to drop off the grid for a while but I doubt it would fix anything.

My girlfriend from over a 1,5 year sent me an invite on facebook. After a couple of weeks i went and talked with her and, initially, she gave me the cold shoulder but then she said she wanted to be friends again but that she was busy with her job.

So what should i do? Wait, talk it her again or do the smart thing and just give up?

>>17140032
Someone pls.

>>17139721

Sure, what nickname should we give him so I can add him to the fuck off list next time I end up making the thread?

>>17139457
>Questions for the guys:

First off, this is all HIGHLY subjective.

>1. How different does it feel to just want to bang a girl vs when you have the feels for her?
One makes me horny and I happen to be around them in this state, one of them makes me interested in intrigued.
>2. What makes a girl gf material?
She's a decent person, we effortlessly get along, she's someone who I think we'd have no problems communicating, I genuinely enjoy and look forward to spending time with them, I'm attracted to them.
>3. Would you ever play a good/innocent grill just for the sake of it?
Personally, no.
>4. Would you spend hours texting a girl if you didn't genuinely like her?
Personally, no, but a lot of guys do with girls they just want to bang.
>5. What about girls absolutely baffles you?
Not much? Girl, guy same shit, we all work off the pretty similar base of human.

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So i have a first date next week with this girl i really like, and she seems to like me a lot as well, she talks to me a lot with interest, she even asked me to go on a date (initially i asked first but she declined because she couldn't but she just suggested a date)

Anyway, i'm getting all crazy about this, she's 100% gf material for me.
But i'm thinking about that first date (and completely nervous, as usual), because i've always assumed kissing on first date was completely normal and figured out i'd try to kiss her on that first date, but i just realized it might actually not be that good. With my first gf we actually kissed after like 4 dates, but that's mainly because i was too scared to make a move, i would've tried earlier if i had the nuts, but maybe it would have failed.

So... What do you think about kissing on first dates, guys and girls ?

Last date i had with a girl actually failed because i didn't kiss her when she showed a LOT of interest (was still too nervous lmao), after that she flaked on me everytime i tried to date her again.
I do not wanna fuck this up though !

>>17140187
You already know her, as evidenced by the way you mentioned that she seems to like you a lot, talks to you a lot, etc. So you have SOME sort of history with her. That's important in this equation.

For girls you know very little about, who just asked out on a date: don't kiss on the first date. You barely know her. That first date is getting to know one another because you're strangers.

For girls you already have some sort of experience with: it's okay to go for a kiss. She is already comfortable with you and you're not a stranger during the date.

Bottom line: do it. She'll be looking for it. And if for some really fucking bizarre reason she acts like she didn't want it, then whatever. She wasn't down for you anyway.

>>17140195
Okay the thing is that i'm in a weird position actually : i met this girl at a party, she's friend of a friend. We barely talked at that party, but i saw her looking at me a lot, laughing to the shit i say and all, and i found her attractive. I added her on facebook a few days after, and since then (like, 2 weeks now ?), we talk a lot. She talks a lot actually.

She clearly shows interest (as she kinda already did at the party) and when she suggested by herself to see each other next week, i'm pretty positive she's interested.

But... We still don't know each other "in real life" much at all. It's like we saw each other but haven't shared anything. Even though by texting it appeared that we have a LOT in common, it's still just texts.

>haven't talked to an ex in 3 years
>got quite /fit/ since then
>lives like an hour away though
>not a single word exchanged between us since break up
>break up went well - all due to her going off to college elsewhere
>haven't met a nicer lady since her, feeling like trying her again
>I want to rekindle friendship but idk what to say
>it would be weird saying "hey, it's been a while let's chill again!"
>because she lives an hour away and would probably assume I'm thirsty

Fuck it /adv/, what should I say? I'm "over" her, really, but I just don't want to put in all this effort into finding someone. Online dating sucks because I don't have good pictures and I "appear" better in real life. Bars suck because alcohol kills gainz. No qt's work at gamestops/coffee shops either. Lazy and too busy to put in effort, mainly.

What's a good excuse to hang out with her again despite her distance? "I'm starting a company and need your artistic input (she's an art person)" - could that work?

>>17140230
This is risky.
And by the way, i don't understand why you assimilate "getting your ex back" with "easier than meeting new girls". Pretty sure 99% of the time it's way harder.
It's probably not about how you got /fit/ since either i think.

You should actually stop being lazy instead of "taking the easy way" - which doesn't sound easier to me at all.

>>17140230
>Lazy and too busy to put in effort, mainly

This is never a legitimate reason to go back in time and try to revive something.

Just like you have undergone a lot of changes in 3 years, so has she. Whether physical, mental, maturity, goals, etc. She will not be the same person you remember. That could be good or bad. But most likely not all of the positive things your memory is attached to. Furthermore, she lives an hour away. You cannot realistically keep a relationship going over the long term unless one of you is willing to close that gap by relocating so you can see one another more often than just weekends (or whenever it is you two aren't juggling career hours).

I mean, whatever, you probably won't listen to this at all and you're going to do what you want anyway. But it was worth putting out there. You're robbing yourself out of potentially great relationships with women you haven't met yet, all because of laziness that you're fully aware of.

>>17140152
She's using you. When she feels lonely or neglected she will go to you for comfort but only as a last resort.

Women are bitches. She know you like her but she doesn't like you. But she does like the attention. She will tell you everything she can't tell the man shes fucking and will even complain about him to you. You will give her support, money, transportation, anything because it's a one sided relationship that shes taking advantage.

I would bet money she talks shit about you constantly to her friends or other men she is with. She will call you a pathetic loser to them and then ask for your help when she needs it.

Stop thinking about her. She is not thinking about you.

>>17140152
Fuck off already.

You make like what, 20 posts PER thread asking the exact same shit? Jesus dude, go away.

>>17140230
>Lazy and too busy to put in effort, mainly.

First off, that's an INCREDIBLY shitty reason to try get in to a relationship....

second, why you trying to be a snake about it? Just be straight up and ask if you want to hang. It's either going to look desperate or it's not, and you trying to mask it as someone else is DEFINITELY desperate.

>>17140228
>But... We still don't know each other "in real life" much at all.
Not the anon your responding to, but errr.... that's kind of the entire point and fuction of dating... so not exactly abnormal....

This shit ain't binary, you don't start the date at yes or no. Read the flow of the date and respond accordingly.

>>17140251
>Read the flow of the date and respond accordingly.

Yep i know it's just this, but i overthink everything to the point that i don't do anything at all even though i can clearly tell that the girl is into me (e.g. last date i had eh)

Just wanted to know if that was actually normal to kiss on first date or if i'd look like a pushy weirdo

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I really embarrassed myself in front of two friends last night, a girl and a guy from work.

We ran into some guy who hooked up with a very very long time ago girlfriend of mine. I explained to them that this guy had hooked up with my old girl and stole her from me. I am long since over it but I said "fuck me right?" and kicked a chair for comedic effect. I ended up kicking the chair too hard and knocked it over making a scene. I apologized and said damn that came off really harsh. They said hey no worries man he stole your girl, but they seemed surprised I had done that. I feel like they're gonna think I'm some freako now who's still not over his high school girlfriend. Should I bring this up again and try and defend myself saying I was trying to be funny or just not bring it up again? I feel really stupid

>>17140240
>you probably won't listen to this at all and you're going to do what you want anyway

nah, I actually really enjoy the feedback this terrible, terrible website has wrought onto me. 6 goddamn years and still here I am, fitter, smarter, and stupider than ever.

>>17140251
>on lazy

Yeah, I agree. The thing that I hate about myself is my small friend group and hard time making new ones. It's easier to find girls if you have lots of friends, and I don't - though used to. What's worse is that my time is ever-so dwindling, so it's hard to work at it - unless emailz and biznizz relationships count (they don't). I guess I can try online dating like okcupid again, though with some better pictures.

>>17140032
>Am I just over analyzing this?
YES holy shit man, i'm a guy with really bad anxiety issues and yes, you're overthinking it.
Relax and let her take the lead, your job is to just not do anything particularly stupid.

For what it's worth, i don't think you're annoying even if you post a lot, it's the other anons' fault for being on 4chan for so long without learning how to skim threads and skip posts they don't care about.

>>17140273
Was it an embarrassing moment? Yes, but not that big a deal. Don't bring it up again and it'll blow over very quickly.

>>17140273
Bringing it up again yourself might be worse. That's sort of something you comment on right away.

>"Shit, I meant to be funny but I severely underestimated my drunken strength against chairs."
Add in a mortified comedic expression.

If they bring it up say something like that. Just try to relax. This is one of those things where if you keep apologizing or bringing it up, it'll just be on their minds more and make them think it's an issue.

>>17140187
>What do you think about kissing on first dates, guys and girls ?

There's literally no reason to not kiss on the first date, that is the very reason this social construct thing exists. Yes its a social construct, no sex/gender is not a social construct.

>if you're a guy
Kissing on date 1 is REQUIRED. If you don't do it you're probably gay and a woman. If she doesn't want kissy kissy good good, leave her and stop wasting both her and your time. If it's towards the date's end and you've failed to make it to the make-out QTE, tell her that. "I've failed to find a romantic spot and/or event to trade our saliva during, I apologize but this one will have to do." Then connect mouths and tongues.

>if you're a girl
Find out if you want to have sex with that man. Do this by "thinking". If the feeling is positive, touch that man more so than you normally would. If the feeling is negative, don't use him for money or otherwise because that would make you a bad person. Don't let him into your cock socket on date 1 unless he's just THAT good. If he's a beta faggot and won't kiss you, say "I really enjoy kissing" and look him dead in the eye.

>>17140327
I would look her dead in the eye and say yeah me too

Kissing on the first date isnt as easy and simple as that, hell i was going out with my ex for a few weeks and i didnt kiss her so quickly and even when i did find the balls to do it she was super awkward about it

>>17140241
You are making massive assumptions of a situation you barely know.

>>17140187
>So... What do you think about kissing on first dates, guys and girls ?

There are no requirements or checklists about this kind of shit

I kiss people like it means nothing to me, because most of the time, it means exactly that. I have absolutely no idea how many people i've ever kissed, have kissed on the first date, have kissed people I absolutely don't know, have kissed back people who randomly kissed me, IDGAF.

That being said, my girlfriend, we didn't kiss until the 3rd date because the flow of it just didn't feel right until then (and then we spent the next 4 or 5 days having non-stop sex).

There are no rules to this shit, there are no formulas, this shit is all by feel.

>>17140327
And my girlfriend is absolutely the type who would have been like, wtf?, bailed, and ghosted if I tried to kiss her the first date.

>>17140241
Our situation is not even remotely as you described.

>>17140251
Nobody forces you to read my posts. If you don't want to give advice fine, but your whining only shits up the thread.

>>17140286
I guess I can just wait and see. Maybe she was just busy, or tired today.
Hopefully I'll get to spend time with her tomorrow, or on sunday.

Already poster on this thread but I have another question about the same girl. I won't link my other replies, I'll start over.
So I met those girl in college, she's 3 years older than me and has a boyfriend since several years.
At first we were just bickering friends, she wasn't my type at all. But the next year, I hung out with her more often and eventually fell for her.
I have issues showing affection but I tried to make some effort for her, not only for love but also because I value her.
Probably more than she does for me but still. We were often fighting and people sometimes thought that's we were together (this means nothing I guess)

But during a school projet we met to work, and during an few days, it wasn't different.
We were more touchy, we literally fought for fun (we slapped, tickled and pushed each other on beds), it was definitely more "physical", I could put my head on her stomach while she's was on my bed. After these few days, it came back to normal.

Since then, I 'm trying to move on, nothing will happen. But I have a question about the last part.
What was that? Why did she become more physical with me, it really surprised me. Is there some meaning behind that? Should I had tried to kiss her? Our faces were often close during those "fights" I thought about it but It would have been so risky.

Recalling this is an bit awkward for me...

Basically what did she mean by this? Why did it lasted just a few days and then stopped?
Am I overthinking this? She wasn't like that at all except those few days.

Also, we went to the theater together few times after that. I don't know of there is something behind that's but I doubt it.
Anyway, I know nothing will happen, she with someone since 3-4 years and is much more advanced in life than me even of we're same year of college.

>>17140376
>Our situation is not even remotely as you described
Yeah ok.

sure.

You hang out with your "crush" You are either underage or a massive fucking idiot.

I'm the idiot from the previous thread that drove drunk and now has an ignition interlock installed.
Girls, how do I best break this red flag to you? I'd prefer not to hide it because I'm a fairly straightforward person but I feel like the only people that would accept it are from the life I'm trying to leave behind. Is it maybe like a 3rd date bombshell?

File: 20202877906_d4a4f87af9_o.jpg (1MB, 2592x1561px)

1MB, 2592x1561px

I'm kind of into femdom. I sometimes enjoy fapping to femdom videos. But I consider myself as a switcher as most of the time I want to be the dominant part. Recently I told my girlfriend that I would enjoy if she ties me up, spit at me, spanks me, etc. Now I wonder, was it a mistake to tell it to her? I'm afraid she now considers other men as more "alpha" or whatever. On the other hand she gets upset when I'm saying that i'm against feminism. How can I make her being my femdom every once in a while without completely fucking it up? She already tried it but I can see she doesn't feel comfortable (yet?).
>pic unrelated
Thank you!

>>17139625
I have no answer, sry, but yeah... That's a pretty interesting subject.

Can you fall in love with someone you never met?

Spoiler, if the answer is yes, it's not real love and just a fragment of your imagination

So i was at a bar a few days ago and this girl kept turning around and looking at me. I know this could mean something and I know it could also mean nothing.

My question is;

Guys-how would you have delt with this situation if you were interested in her?
Girls-is this something some of you sometimes do to get a guys attention? What do you expect/hope for? How could i have approached her if interested?

I know this is a typical stupid question and yes i did read the top post lol anyways, thanks in
/adv/ance

How do I get a starter gf?

>>17140495
If you don't have any advice to give, you might as well shut up.
And I'm 22.

>>17140616
Buy a prostitute.

My boyfriend masturbates a crazy amount. I'm pretty sure it's a mixture of cam sites, general amateur photos from the internet, etc.

This doesn't really bother me too much. I get that variety is the spice of life. He can fuck me when we're together but I don't expect him to wank over me when we're apart. I'm nowhere near as hot as the girls from porn/soc/whatever.

Am I being ignorant thinking like this? Should I have more of an issue with his mindlessly masturbating all the time when we're not together?

The sex is great, there's no real issue when we're physically together. I've just never really seen it as a threat but sometimes I come on here and see women complaining about their partners loving porn too much and think maybe I should have more of an issue with it.

>>17140704
It's fine as long as you have sex as much as you want to. He just has a higher sex drive.

>>17140704
if you dont care and see no effects in your life, why bother being upset?
dont let someone convince you theres a problem if youve already looked hard at it and decided there isnt

>>17140712

You're right. Ideally, I'd prefer him to ask for nudes of me or whatever, but as he already knows what I look like, I understand that it's probably not that much of a draw.

I masturbate over the thought of him but usually need the visual stimulation of something else. I figure he's probably of a similar mind frame.

I guess I'm just fighting between wanting to be number one on his list of fantasies and being realistic about it. I get that watching some girl on cam is probably more exciting than thinking of me. I just don't want it appear like he's prioritising that or disrespecting me.

>>17140704
You should only see it as a problem if it's affecting your relationship. You shouldn't have an issue with something that isn't causing trouble for you just because other people see it as an issue.

>>17140733
If you want him to Jack it to your nudes send him some nudes.

>>17140743

Yeah but as I said, I'm nowhere near as hot as the alternatives so I always think it'll just be a bit embarrassing for everybody involved. I'd be stupid to think naked photos of me would be preferable to some perfect /soc/ girl, or some porn actress.

I suppose I'm just wanting to know that this is normal and me being this indifferent to it isn't just causing me problems in the future.

Question for men
--If your girlfriend was in a more "manly" career than you would it be weird? Would you be secretive about what she does or just not care at all?

>>17140753
Clever girl.

>>17140760
Which career?

>>17140763

I know, right? I completely get the reasons behind it. It might be incredibly enjoyable to stick his dick in me because I'm physically there. However, if he's masturbating then he probably wants something super hot and visual. I can separate out the two different needs.

I'm hoping this is the sign of a healthy relationship and not just me being a gullible idiot.

>>17140753
You being indifferent won't cause any future problems.

I gaurentee he'll masturbate to your nudes if you send him some though.

>>17140032
Are you Finnish?

>>17140606
Go talk to her.

>>17140581
It's "figment" not fragment.

>>17140541
If she's already tried it, you've already got over the hardest step! Just keep discussing what you do and don't like, why, and how it makes you feel.
Keep trying! Read material! Fetlife is a good research resource.

>>17140519
Act embarrassed, emphasise how stupid it was and how you'd never do it again. Make no excuses, and be careful about explanations sounding like one.

>>17140704
>Should I have more of an issue with his mindlessly masturbating all the time when we're not together?
No, it doesn't matter. It's just a lazy way to spend free time for most guys, not any more alarming than watching TV.

>>17140760
>manly career
gimme a break, i'm no tumblrina but i thought we were past that shit

>>17140779
it's fine. if you want proof, go look at /d/
pics of you ain't gonna substitute for anything on there lol

>>17140606
>Guys-how would you have delt with this situation if you were interested in her?

Walk up to her and say "hey, what's up?"

>>17140704
>The sex is great, there's no real issue when we're physically together. I've just never really seen it as a threat but sometimes I come on here and see women complaining about their partners loving porn too much and think maybe I should have more of an issue with it.

You also see guys come on here and bitch about women aren't staying virgins for them, how all women should be treated like trash, how cheating on your significant other is fine as long as they never find out, and all sorts of stuff...

Don't look for/make trouble where it doesn't exist, and take everything you read here with a grain of salt. The /advice/ section of ANY board is always filled with people who are insecure/unstable/confused/in unhealthy situations... now double that because this is 4chan...

By the way, it's not a matter of them being hotter than you or whatever, it's literally just using visual stimuli to satiating an urge while you're not around.

>>17140760
>Question for men
>--If your girlfriend was in a more "manly" career than you would it be weird? Would you be secretive about what she does or just not care at all?

So technically I work in flowers and my girlfriend works in construction (though as an office worker I guess). No fucks given.

>>17140820
Thanks (I'm DUI guy) that's exactly how I feel about it and my mistakes in general. I'm guessing it's best to bring it up early into meeting someone? It just seems weird to bring up out of the blue though unless maybe she needs to jump in my car or something.

A guy definitely has interest in you if he keeps texting almost daily for hours right? We can't see each other much right now (busy schedules) but he's always texting, it's quite sweet.

Don't know what it is with me and guys I like, it could be the most obvious thing in the world that one likes me but I'll always have doubts lol.

>>17140909
Probably, but it depends on what he's texting you. At the very least he likes you as a close friend.

>Hang out with a girl i met from class two weeks ago
>Things seemingly go well, says she had a good time
>Text a few days later asking if she's free some time on the weekend
>Says she's broke until pay day but free after that
>Ask her when she gets payed, no response

This was a week ago. Should i hit her up or what?

>>17140900
>It just seems weird to bring up out of the blue though unless maybe she needs to jump in my car or something.
It is weird. Save it until something relevant comes up when you get to the stage of giving rides.

>>17140909
Chance it. Ask him out.

>>17140945
She might have been baiting you into paying. You could always say, "I'll take this one, you do the next" if you want to stay Dutch.

>talk with girl on dating site
>doesn't seem enthusiastic about it, but still replies
>starts logging on less and less
>today replies that she is leaving the site and tells me that I can add her on fb
>I don't have fb
;_;

>>17140957
She was pretty adamant about paying when i offered the first time we went out.

I've been getting to know this guy as friends and i like him but the thing that's stopping me from asking him out is that he's clueless18..and i'm older. so being socially awkward 18 yr old he does things like sit next to me when i'm on my laptop, take hold of my mouse, and click through all my tabs to see what I'm looking at.

He's just odd, usually really cool, and didn't do it maliciously but I can't forsee this going well in the time being because i can't be his mom...am i overthinking this or is this right?

Is it too much for me to add this guy I asked out on Facebook? We only communicate through snapchat but even through there we don't talk much. In person he's really interested and has told me he doesn't like texting. So I haven't bothered to ask for his number. The cool thing is we plan to hangout sometime next week. I don't want to push things too fast. I don't know if this guy likes me the way I think he does.

>>17140967
>I don't have fb
come on man, what are you doing
i don't even have any friends and i have an fb
accepted 2 friend requests today actually

>>17140978
he's awkward, if you think it's cute then go for it
i think it's cute

>>17140996
if it were anyone else i'd be super annoyed and pissed, but i didn't feel annoyed when he looked through all my tabs. I guess that's a sign then

>>17140996
Won't people laugh at me, though? Won't they compare me with my brother who has many real friends?

>>17140985
If he doesn't even like texting, I doubt he will care about fb.

>>17140947
Thanks wish me luck it's been hard enough getting dates as it is, much less dealing with my huge fuck up

>>17141013
Dude, if you don't get fb, you will never see her again. Also you pretty much need fb to communicate with other people. Texting doesn't cut it a lot of times.

Suck it up and just get fb. No one cares about how many friends you have on fb unless they're idiots. You can even hide the 'amount of friends you have' widget on fb, it's a setting if you're that scared.

>>17141013
>Won't people laugh at me, though? Won't they compare me with my brother who has many real friends?
Maybe, but you can't change that.
If they laugh, it's their fault, not yours.
Their poor character and judgmental attitude, not yours.

>>17138326
This question is for either gender: how the fuck do I get a gf? I'm 25, never had one.

Girls

Would it be reasonable to text a girl seeing how her brothers graduation went?

I invited her to hang out that day, but graduation, so we agreed to do something soon, though not set day yet.

>>17141013
You can have fb privacy settings where people can't see how many friends you have.

>>17139494
Only the nipple, but it feels so fucking good. Sometimes I can only get off with the combination of penetration and nipple stimulation

>>17140187
My current SO tried to kiss me on our first date, but I wasn't at that point yet so I told him that. I appreciated the gesture, though, it told me definitively that he was interested. Another move that bolstered my opinion of him was he followed up the next day, and told me he wanted to schedule our second date as soon as possible. It takes quite a bit of confidence to put one's self out there like that, so I was quite impressed.

>>17141085
Do you care about how it went? If so, then yes.

>>17141155
I do care, but, I just don't want to seem to... eager?

>>17141168
If you genuinely care then it's not too eager, something like that would only scare her off if she's not that interested to begin with.

Should you avoid dating sites on weekends to pretend that you have a social life or not?

Girls-

I'm a guy and I wouldn't mind getting asked out at work if I was in to the other person. That said, as long as I'm not creepy and know how to take a no (with grace- and never to be mentioned again), would you be all right with a guy asking you out at work?

Girl is a cashier at a popular retail store if it matters.

>>17141246
Never

>>17141182
True. The fact that she even talks to me to that degree indicates something.

I don't want to post the screens again, but if you have been on here over the past week you should have seen them.

File: 61b7a4c25dfffbcada5bf8daa9b92a9a.jpg (1MB, 1433x2023px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1433x2023px

Why do women dress like men now?

Ladies: cut or uncut.

girls
leg hair on a dude
yeah or naw

>>17140145
Could really use a opinion on this matter

>>17141461
>even considering shaving your legs
anon, ive got some bad news for you

>>17141246
As a rule, a guy approaching a girl is more nerve-racking than a girl approaching a guy.

Imagine you're in a dark parking garage and a girl approaches you. How do you feel? What goes through your head?

Now imagine a man approaches you in the same parking garage. He's significantly taller and stronger than you. What do you think now?

The majority of men are twice my weight. I know logically no one is going to attempt and MMA move in the store. But instinctually, I'm on edge.

Girls: what size do you consider "hung"?

File: 1462068981790.jpg (89KB, 670x638px)

89KB, 670x638px

I really need help here, if possible from several anons

I want to tell her what I feel about her.
I've talked to her yesterday by messages and I won't see her until 2 week's for the last class (not sure if I will see her) .
Should I tell her by messages today, one day after talking with her? Or wait until I see her in 2 weeks.
I don't have any hopes, she already has someone but I want to get it off my chest, I never confessed to anyone before. I don't know what to do.

I can't stop thinking about her, I 'm always feeling terrible, stressed and worried now.

How do you approach girls at parties? Like if I see a cute girl that I want to dance with/hook up with, how would I go about accomplishing that goal?

>>17141310
Because they can and you're living under a rock because women have been getting sexier

>>17141512
>The majority of men are twice my weight. I know logically no one is going to attempt and MMA move in the store. But instinctually, I'm on edge.
5'7" 100lb dude here, the guys you're talking about could kill me too with no problem, but i'm not any more on edge around guys than girls
Guess maybe the bullying "helped", maybe once you get beaten up enough times it stops being scary

>>17141246
I also wouldn't mind, but the femanons in this thread universally hate the idea.

>girl invited me to art thing last Friday
>went
>she brought her roommate for whatever reason
>ended up blowing it
>texted her Saturday
>no response
>texted her Tuesday
>no response
>deleted her number

How do I reconcile the fact that my awkwardness and poor social skills barred me from all sorts of experiences and memories with a really cool, unique girl that I had a lot in common with? It sucks. We had a lot in common and she had great (well, similar) taste in art. I dunno. It's really hard for me to find girls that resonate with me.

I'm just having a hard time getting over the fact that my life would be much different right now if I had been socialized enough prior to hanging out with her last Friday. Isn't that fucked up though? If I had been in just a few more social situations or dated just a little bit more, I might have avoided blowing it with this girl. That's just insane to me. It feels like I went to a job interview and they pulled the "You have no experience so we can't hire you" line. Except this isn't a situation where saying that is unfair. I'm 22. I shouldn't be having trouble with basic social skills, but social anxiety has gimped me in that category.

I don't really have a question for you guys. I just wanted to vent a little and get my thoughts in writing. Feel free to shit on me. I'm in a self-loathing mood so I don't care.

>>17141597
>Hi, I'm Anon!
She gives her name.
>So what do you do/ what's your major?
Continue normal conversation and ask for her number at the end.

>>17141657
if it makes you feel any better, i'm even worse off right now. 21 and pretty sure i'm at least 5 years off from getting a date even if this shit went away tomorrow. I'll probably end up losing my virginity at 30.

>>17141555
Help me please

>>17139562
wtf are you on about?

>>17141685
Same guy

I lost my virginity late last year at 22 to a girl who said all of the following to me:

"I'm hungry for your soul." (deep, raspy voice)
"I ate my own soul." (while drunk and after staring at me with wide eyes for 30-60 seconds straight)
"I ate part of your soul." (same night)

Honestly, the shit she said to me kinda fucked me up. I've been an Agnostic/atheist since 2010 and after being in the presence of those words, I don't fucking know anymore. I didn't even know those sentences existed. She had a stroke when she was 15 so that's definitely part of it. Still creepy af though.

>>17140032

Why not just ask her out already?

how do i not dislike females for not acknowledging my existence?

i'm 18

>>17140606
>Girls-is this something some of you sometimes do to get a guys attention? What do you expect/hope for? How could i have approached her if interested?

I can't think of any reason I'd look twice at the same person unless I was interested in them.
Even if there was some other reason, I wouldn't exactly be put off if they came to talk to me and I'd consider it my mistake. Making eye contact with someone you don't want to talk to is a rookie error.

>>17141702
jealous 2bh

why is 90+% of the questions on this board about sex and sex fetishists

>>17141746
have you tried not being such a faggot?

>>17141770
i'm not a faggot though, i'm 100% heterosexual

>>17141555
God dammit /adv/ tell me what to do or I'll make countless posts and threads

>>17141768
It's the thing most people are not knowledge about/ to embarrassed to ask off an anonymous forum.

>>17141784
Fine. Since you know she already has someone and if absolutely MUST tell her the conversation will be awkward and not go well. Do it over a message, not in person.

>>17141798
Should I just do it today? It's Saturday maybe she will be busy.
If I don't tell her will I be able to move on?

How do I say it? We 're really not used of conversations like "what's up today?" and stuff like that.

Confessing would allow me to take a new step because I never did it, I don't know how

God I' m panicking like some middle school girl.

>>17141770
i'm rich, girls like money no? why won't they talk to me

There's a girl I like a lot (really enjoy talking with her), and I am 95% sure the feeling's mutual. She has a really pretty face, pale skin, and long black hair that covers one of her eyes sometimes (10/10 in my book). However, she's honestly overweight. Looks about 5' 4" tall, and when she hugged me, she felt like 130-140 pounds. Meanwhile I'm a 5' 9" 125 pound skeleton. She's about at the upper limit of weight that I find attractive.

Do overweight girls only get heavier over time, or is there a chance that she might lose weight (or at least maintain) if I exercised with her and encouraged her to eat right?

Is it true that you have to be sexually forward as a man?

I mean, people keep telling me that women will "friendzone" you if you don't act like a boyfriend/lover right away. It sounds wrong. I would think that if a woman likes you that way she just likes you that way. I would think that if she likes something about you, she'd entertain the idea of sleeping with/dating you because you are somebody she likes, and not just because you acted like a "lover"...unless I'm missing something, that is

>>17141822
she will never shed the weight, females are undisciplined because they have everything at their fingertips. If you encourage her to lose it she will be genuinely offended and will shatter anything

the fact you find her 10/10 is already indicative of your subhumanity and shallowness

>>17141555
To follow up my question, I think I 'll message her with sms but what should I say?
Should I just bee myself and say what I haven't in mind?

It' s Saturday here, I don't want to bother her? Is 1PM a good time?

>>17141837
succumb your petty inner turmoil you weak pathetic untermensch, you and your kind make me sick

>>17141847
God, help me then, I already feel like shit

>>17138326
Women, is a man who can play an instrument more attractive? I play upright bass, bass guitar and piano and earn good money with it, I'm just below average in most other aspects.

>>17141822
She won't lose weight unless she really wants to. Maybe tell her you value an active and healthy lifestyle and are looking for someone who shares those values. The only sure way to lose weight is by operating on a caloric deficit, which is hard to encourage someone you just start dating to do. A girl who gained weight during your relationship, sure. Maybe also if you were already dating for a couple of months. See how she feels about you and your opinions on fitness.

>>17141822
Obesity is usually the result of some mental issues, it's virtually impossible to permanently lose the weight without addressing those.

>>17141827
I should have specified, her face is perfect to me, but her body's thick and curvy (not my personal preference but admittedly she's hot).

>>17141860
I know she would like to lose some weight already (but I have known a lot of overweight people, and 99% of them feel that way, only a small fraction have the willpower to care). I definitely wouldn't start discussing weight loss unless after several months I noticed weight gain, but I would like to invite her to go ride bikes/swim with me occasionally regardless. I feel better about this girl now, thanks for the reply.

Bump >>17141232

I still feel like a kid despite living on my own, getting my own groceries, balancing my checkbook, being a manager at a (not fast-food) business, going to the gym, having my own car, paying taxes, you know, doing grown-up stuff. Basically a self-sufficient child who spends too much time playing Pokemon and YGO and (private) WoW.

But why is it when I meet a girl who self-describes herself as a "child at heart" she turns out to be a spoiled-rotten fat ugly bitch who thinks the world revolves around her? Do women not understand self-sufficiency, or am I being too judgemental?

>>17141232
Yes, actually. But by that logic you also need to make sure you're logged out of Steam and Skype otherwise people will be aware of your ruse-cruise.

>>17142012
Thats stupid

Im almost always "online" because id i don't shut down my pc and log out of everything on my phone ill appear online and i cant be bothered to log of every single thing i have

>>17142006
>Do women not understand self-sufficiency
No, they don't. For thousands of years in almost all cultures, and even longer than that for our entire species, women had to rely on males or family tribes to survive. Now in modern society they can do whatever they want and do their own thing but still want special attention and rely on others to get through life. Don't be mad at them, they're genetically programmed to function that way.

>>17142006
No, it's reasonable to expect someone to be able to take care of themselves.

>>17142025
Am I the only one who thinks this caveman logic is stupid?
You cant put everyone in one single bucket

I got female friends that are self sufficient and actually decent people who dont feel entitled to everything or expect you to do everything for them

Dunno but from what i see and hear american women are just awful to be around

>>17142027
>>17142025
Well I'm not mad, I'm just very frustrated because I want a serious relationship without drama, a girl who can understand how to go with the flow. It's not even "I want a girl who can play vidya with me," it's "I want a girl who doesn't mind that I'm on my twentieth play-through of Deus Ex," and I can't do it with these attention whores.

>>17142034
>Am I the only one who thinks this caveman logic is stupid?
People vastly overestimate human intellect. We are genetically programmed to eat and fuck, literally everything we do is done to fulfill those 2 basic needs. We just happen to have ridiculously complex rituals and ways to accomplish that. And yes, those rituals and roles are also pretty damn solid and haven't really changed over the last few thousand years, we just made everything more complicated over time.

>>17142040
There are people who only want that but there are people who want other things too but true a lot of them want to breed as their goal

But again "programming" like that never worked on me so yeah I'll enjoy that

>>17141461
Men=Hair
no matter the place, grow it all

i am SO PISSED and also a rather drunk. Anyway this guy friend invited me to his frat party and when I go there he proceeds to say 'oh hey anonette' and then ignores me to give some other girl directions to get to the bathroom or something. WHAT THE FUCK i am pissed. I think he was trying to get with her. i mean i thought he liked me as he didn't invite anyone else in our friend circle there and he teases me all the time but he's probably playing the field? Or I'm really drunk and blowing this out of proportion? He had also invited me to some other thing tomorrow evening--should I go or not? I think no right?

>>17142062
Gentle shitposting

>>17142070
You have to help me here as I'm actually seeking advice. I'm probably shitposting but i don't mean to.

this why they tell you not to go for frat dudes? I thought he wasn't a douchebag holy shit

>>17141826

The issue is, once a woman sees you as a friend, trying to see you as a lover instead becomes a threat to an established friendship. It's easier to keep your friendship than to risk it on something that might not work.
If you're not already friends, she's much more likely to figure "eh, let's see what happens," and real feelings have a chance to grow from there.
But it's less likely she'll be comfortable to "see what happens" with a friend and risk hurting them if it doesn't work out, so if you have that established friendship, then it really does come down to "she either likes you already or she doesn't."

On the flip side, a lot of guys will essentially 'pretend' to be a woman's friend in hopes of getting 'promoted' to boyfriend. It's a sneaky way to try and get in there without actually needing to be brave enough to ask someone out.
On that front, never become a woman's friend with a clear endgame in mind. If you become her friend then realise "hey, there might be something going on here" that's fine and good luck. But if you want to date someone from the outset, just go for it.

>>17142006
>But why is it when I meet a girl who self-describes herself as a "child at heart" she turns out to be a spoiled-rotten fat ugly bitch who thinks the world revolves around her? Do women not understand self-sufficiency, or am I being too judgemental?

Women who describe themselves as a "child at heart" (wtf) =/= all women. This is a very skewed sample.

That said, there's definitely still some lingering gender stereotypes at work. Women used to be completely dependant on their parents then husbands, and as much as it's evening out now that they're able to go to work and make a living for themselves, it's going to be a while before things are fully evened out. But there are plenty of individual women out there who are perfectly independent.

>>17142062

You sound like a butthurt Nice Guy.

You literally described this guy as your friend, but are pissed off like you caught you boyfriend sniffing around someone else's skirt. He can sniff around any skirt he wants, he's not dating you.
If you want to be dating him, put your big girl boots on and ask him out.

I have a coworker who I like a lot. There seemed to be some sort of mutual attraction at first because my attempts at catching her attention actually worked. One day she asked me my age and I decided to be honest (other coworkers lied) and told her I was 21 (now 22). She seemed taken aback. She's 25 and I already knew this but since I caught her attention before I guess it encouraged me to pursue her. She stopped talking to be for a while after that but we've had small convos here and there.
Today she came to talk to me. Now, due to the nature of my job I'm not really allowed to have full convos while on the clock. I gotta work. So this puts a little more pressure on me and I never know what the fuck to say anymore. Today we talked but I seemed to bore her a bit. I honestly don't know how to go about it anymore, all these things seem to be taking a toll on me.

I don't wanna post a wall of text so I'm not going too deep into details but I guess my question is should I keep pursuing? I feel like maybe the age difference put a dent on things but I don't know. I want to keep pursuing her but I'd like a second opinion because I keep having second thoughts. I like her a lot, today I realized that, but I don't want to waste my time if I already blew it.

>>17142089
hoLY SHIT YOU are right. yeah i'm not really pissed off at him I'm more pissed off that I couldn't fuck the SHIT out of him tonight as we have been dancing around each other for a bit.
FUCK fine I'm gonna sleep the tequila off and then not get this drunk again this is not pleasant. i LEARNEd one leasson anyway which is frat houses suck ass. fucking hell i am not going back there again. why the fuck would people like partying like sardines..maybe i'll ask him out idk

I'm a guy in a long distance relationship.

My SO likes to do a lot of *role play* and it always feels a little bit cringey whenever I type it out so i never really get into it.

What are some other ways to have sexy times over text?

(We cam and have phone sex somewhat regularly but a lot of what we do is texting)

>Question 2

She always tells me if she's not feeling well, what are some things I can say/text to her to let her know that even though I'm not physically there I'm there for her.

Thanks for the help femanons.

>>17140814
Yes, why?

>>17141723
I can't exactly ask her out when she is ignoring me, can't I?
We did talk about doing stuff together on the weekend the last time we hung out, but I dunno if she is still interested.

Just thought I'd ask this here because it didn't deserve it's own thread: Is it ever acceptable for a 21 year old to date a 16 year old?

>>17142253
Honestly im 21 and i wouldn't do it
Lowest id go would be 18 or 17 but close to 18 if she was really amazing and practically perfect

I was wondering would you date a guy or even potentially marry one and have kids with a guy who has a 4 inch dick or would that be a complete deal breaker for you? Not going to lie I've been feeling completely terrible about my size and I'm wondering do girls exist who don't care about that shit.

So I got the number of this girl on tinder and we are to see each other next week. In the meantime we sometimes text and I was wondering if making sex jokes or innuendos to show my interest was a good idea. I read somewhere that I shouldnt since we never met face to face but others say I should. I have no idea what is appropriate or not.
So should I? And if I do, what kind of stuff should I say? Any exemples?

>>17142253
check local laws and ordinances

Dating a younger girl who hates texting and its fucking my mind.

>>17142279

In all honesty...if I'd already fallen for you as a person then it wouldn't be a deal breaker. There are always things about a person that if you weren't involved with them, you wouldn't like...it could be that they have cellulite, stretchmarks, a lazy eye, rubbish hair, etc. However, if you truly care about someone, most people don't even notice this, you just see them as a whole.

4 inches is still functional, that's all you have to think about. Women don't need those extra inches to get off. My boyfriend is huge and to be honest, it can cause problems if we're going on for a long time. Learn how to do amazing oral and finger well and I guarantee you'll have no complaints.

>>17142279
Not a dealbreaker, but I wouldn't be happy.

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>>17142320
would you fuck a skinny 18 year old with glasses

>>17142328
Don't despair bro. Average 7 incher dude here, I envy your 4 inches of flaccid misery. It must feel amazing knowing that literally every single chick can deepthroat you effortlessly.

>tfw no deepthroat gf

>>17142332
i'm not the 4 inch guy, i'm asking if a female on here would take my virginity

>>17142311
>>17142253
I meant more in the social/societal sense. It's legal where I'm at, I believe.

Every girl I've been with, I've just been me. Did and said what I wanted and felt like, and wasn't thinking too much about it.

But those were occasionnal occurrences in a sea of failed attempts. I don't know if that's normal. Especially considering some guys find it very easy to pick up girls.

My personality is introverted, calm and reserved. That makes it hard to talk to some people and easy to talk to others based on feeling.

With girls though, the dating game seems so coded, based on manipulation, things to say/do or not...It's annoying as fuck because it doesn't feel natural. There are posts like >>17139059 which claim to hold the key to it, but it's so unnatural and forced.

And every time I think about how natural it was with my exes, I keep wondering what way is the best, and what i should do.

I hate this idea that things don't work out because I basically didn't do the right thing at the right time, as if it was a video game QTE.

>>17142502
>I hate this idea that things don't work out because I basically didn't do the right thing at the right time, as if it was a video game QTE.

Well, what do you want? To fuck a lot of people, or meet someone to share your life with?
If the latter, you're doing it right.

>>17142509
It is the latter.
But what if it was the former? Is it really just a game of manipulation and such?

>>17142514
>But what if it was the former? Is it really just a game of manipulation and such?

Kinda, yeah. I mean, how many people are around that you're just happy and confident to fuck? You gotta do the ol' mating dance.
It's not necessarily about manipulating people in any skeevy sense of trickery (though that often happens) but just maintaining an agreeable facade to side step hangups and shit.

Like in a movie, you can only rely on suspension of disbelief so much, you've gotta do all kinds of shit to make the audience go along with what's happening or they'll lose interest.
Or advertising, the old "what are you REALLY selling them?" trick. "You're not selling a car, you're selling a sense of safety/adventure/status." If all you're selling is a car, the only customers you'll get are people who need a car. Juice it up, and you suddenly reel in more customers who don't really need one but get seduced by whatever glamour or stability is promised.

And it's not a female thing to do this, guys do it just as much (if not more, since they have to be the active pursuers most of the time). That's just the way it goes.

There's not really a 'better' way. It just depends what you want to get out of it.

>>17142538
>You gotta do the ol' mating dance.
And I don't know what the steps are. A friend told me "just be yourself, be interested in her and see if the feeling passes. If it does, go for it. If it doesn't forget it and move on". Seems easy enough.

And then I slowly realize that there seems to be thousands of things to do and say at the right time. And most of the girls I'm interested in seem to only respond to that stuff so i'm stuck it seems.

Girls:

My -now- ex GF broke up with me about 2,5 months ago. Last week we met up and we talked about stuff, although not as much as I'd like, but it was good, there was mutual respect. We dated for about 1,5 years. Note that she is studying abroad since 3,5 months.

Now, I have made this imaginary letter where I just write down my feelings or the stuff that I would say to her, with some dates attached to certain phrases.

How would you, as an ex, react if your exBF would send you this letter with his ups and downs and the things he wanted to say to you? Should I keep this to myself or send it to her? Will it matter, anyway?

For girls.

Am I insensitive if I bring up doggy during a chicks first time?

>>17142552
Yes. Why would you do that?

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>>17142562
Because I really really like doing it from behind man.

>>17138326
Hi women,

how often do you masturbate (when alone)?

Does the frequency change when you have a boyfriend wiht whom you get intimate?

my dad showed my gf the video he took of me getting circumcised at 12 years old the other week. I didn't even know the video existed. When she told me, I took it up with him and he said because we've been going out for like 4 years he sees her pretty much as family.

Is this as fucked up as I feel it is, and am I right to be buttmad as fuck?

>>17142702
Your dad should be in a fucking asylum

Girls, when you like someone but due to reasons you block the guy, would it be considered creepy or desperate if he starts talking to you through different means? (consider you forgot blocking him on skype)
i know the answer is yes, but still

me and this girl have been texting everyday for 2 months, but she's mentally unstable (BPD) and even though we both know a relationship is basically impossible, due to her still being in school and me living 2 hours away, i still feel bad about her and want to help her with her BPD

>>17142702
The fact that you got circumcised at the age of 12 is already fucked up, the fact that he took a video and showed it to your GF makes me almost certain that he's fucked up in the head somehow or really, really stupid.

>>17142714
She doesn't want contact with you.

She's too young and far to have anything happen.

She is mentally ill and you're not a doctor. You can't help her. You're only trying to satisfy your own Superman complex and she's only a vessel for that.

Leave her be.

>>17142714
Get your hero complex under control, wanting to help someone is nice and great, but if she blocked you and cut off communication then that's a pretty damn solid sign that you should leave her alone, at least for a while. Especially when she has mental issues, you could do more harm than good.

>>17142551
Anyone?

>>17142716
It's normal for my religion. Though it was horrible, I remember it to this day. The worst pain I have ever felt, and it was done at home so there was no painkillers, just two men holding me down while the priest started chopping. I won't be doing it to my son.

Is "looking for an intern position in the fall of 2016" right english? or should it be looking for an intern in fall 2016?

>>17142721
>It's normal for my religion
It's severely fucked up, and he fact that your father did this to you shows that he's fucked up as well. Religion doesn't excuse that, not in any way.

>>17142721
whoa... you can't be serious? that's pretty nxt lvl abuse. what religion is that?

>>17142730
inb4 muslim

Question for the girls, have you ever bought something to get a guy to notice you? Like jewelry or clothing? Maybe something else someone wouldn't think of so fast.

>>17142733
as far as i know, muslims dno't wait till 12 to do this shit

>>17142734
what? you mean if i ever bought clothings to get a guys interest?

>>17142702
holy all hell! not to mention that your dad shoudl get executed for letting you get circumcised at 12, he also took a VIDEO of it. and then he SHOWED IT TO YOUR GF! I don't have any words for this, anon... i'm very sorry.

>>17142738

Yup thats what I was trying to ask.

>>17142730
Sunni Muslim

>>17142743
well, i have bought a new piece to go on a date here and there, so i think that counts as a "yes". do you mean in a broad way or specific for one guy? for example: buying a short skirt to get male attention in general or buying something nice to look your best to catch THAT guys attention?

>>17142702
can I get a copy of that... for reasons

>>17142748
>Sunni Muslim
is it really common to do that at 12 and with no medication? that seems extremely dangerous and horribly traumatic to me. not to mention that no one is ok with letting the whole family see their penis at fucking 12! crap, dude... i'm really shocked about this, the more i think about it. that's some real shit.

>>17142749

Probably the second one, like you have a guy you have an eye on, or a guy has an eye on you, and you want to look good for them. Or maybe your going out with someone, stuff like that.

>>17142722
>looking for an intern position in the fall of 2016
This suggests you want to be an intern for someone else

>looking for an intern in fall 2016
This suggests you want to find someone to be your intern

>>17142734

I guess? I mean, if I like a guy and will be seeing them in any kind of setting, I'll generally want to look my best. So if I'm shopping while smitten, I'm liable to be extra keen on anything that I think will make me look hot.
But it's not like "surely this particular bracelet will win x's heart".

>>17142755
oh, yes, then i definintely did that. but in a "i want to look my best when i see him tomorrow"-way. not a "i'll seduce him with those yoga pants and that lacey top"-way.

>>17142754
yes, the point it it's done around puberty. why it has to be then, I don't know.

>>17142751
No I don't have it. I don't think it would be very nice to see anyway as my gf said it was mostly just me screaming for my mother, a lot of struggling, and a fair amount of blood.

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why are all women such roasties?

>>17142765
>screaming for my mother
yeah, where was she? how can she let that happen to you? that's a major betrayal of trust.

neat. lets wait to mutilate the genitals of our son till he has developed a sense of shame for being naked infront of others and till he starts to develope his sexuality to butcher his dick. i swear... how can you ever justify such an atrocious crime.
do you think it affected you?

>>17142702

That's pretty damn fucked up.
Is your gf of the same religion, or is she like traumatised now?

>>17142642
requesting advice pls

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>>17142769
the vaginal canal is an unprotected opening into the body and thus pretty exposed to infections and stuff. the inner and outer labias and pubes have the job to protect it as much as possible from anything that shouldn't enter. they especially make sure that penises attached to guys who care about big labias can't enter, which is a natural defense mechanism, also known as "don't let crazy stick your dick inside you".
the bigger and more folded the "curtain" is the better the protection.

>>17142780
it depends on my cycle. near and during my peak fertility i might masturbate 2 or more a day, sometimes having multiple orgasms. i also masturbate more during my menstruation. it helps with cramps and the rhytmical contractions of the uterus help shorten the length of my period by giving me more effective blood flow.
the weeks between, i mostly don't masturbate at all.
my masturbating habits don't change when i have a bf, unless he's coming over on days i would have otherwise made myself have an orgasm. then i logically make sure i get what i need WITH him.

>>17142782
>the bigger and more folded the "curtain" is the better the protection.
Danm, guess that's bad news for the already emotionally fragile girls who got labiaplasties.

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>>17142787
for the pic i attached, i googled "labia". (in german...)
and the first link was talking to teen girls, telling them to not freak out and that it's normal that their labias are not perfectly short, pink and smooth. the rest of the links, ATLEAST till page 3 where articles on labiaplastics and things related.
holy hell... i was expecting to get resluts from medical sites with anatomical explanations or something like that. that's pretty sad.

>>17142787
>labiaplasties
oh shit i didnt even think these were a thing
damn whores trying to sell them selves as puritans

>>17142786
hot

ty, did not expect the ovulation cycle having such a bit impact

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>>17142799
it's pretty common. thanks to guys who freak out over uneven labias.

>>17142799
>damn whores trying to sell them selves as puritans
wut

>>17142786

Second.

>>17142804
it's not the same for every girl, but i'm just naturaly aware of my cycle (feeling myself ovulating, being able to tell how my hormonal levels rise and fall), so i easily recognize patterns.
it is a VERY good idea to track your gf's cycle, even if she herself isn't that aware of how it affects her. i use an app to track myself. you could do that for a gf and it would help you with so, SO many issues.

>>17142807
>>17142805
its not my fault for wanting to be with a roastie who's taking 30 miles of schlong

>>17142816
there are apps, that track down female ovulation cycles....

wow, just wow

>>17142823

There are apps for everything, we're living in the future anon!

>>17142818
>taking 30 miles of schlong
and that's a bad thing, because?
even if the amounts of penetrative moves you had "performed on you" ACTUALLY have had an effect on the labias, that statement would also hold true for a girl that married a virgin and had sex with only her husband. so, after we have etablished that the "miles of schlong" you have "taken" is in NO way an accurate measurement for your loyalty and values, it boils down to aesthetics. which i CAN understand. a pink innie actually is more pleasing to look at. but shaming someone for not being born with a "perfect" body is kind of extremely vain and unnecessary. it's no better than making fun of a guy for not being as blessed with length and girth. it's not something you can controle.

>>17142825
wish I would know how to utilise from apps...

>>17142818
>have sex with 100 different dicks
>your labia will stretch and your vag will expand

>have sex with the same dick 100 times
>no problem

Unless you want to get a girlfriend but don't intend on having sex with her. Stick her on the shelf, mint in the box, so she doesn't depreciate in value.

>>17142833
>This is what Roasties want you to believe.

>>17142823
loads, actually. usually, you note when your period starts and ends and it predicts fertile days and such. the longer you use them, the more accurate they get. it's also VERY helpfull if you evr have a pregnancy scare, or suddenly get irregular cycles. not to mention how tremendously helpfull they are if you are trying to get pregnant.
with most, you can also track things like moods and physical wellbeing to se patterns in your cycle. if i was a guy, i would DEFINITELY do that. it would shine a light on SO many things.

>>17142837
This too
>>17142838

>>17142838
show me where the flaw in my theory is and i'll be open to discuss any opposite opinions

Dangerously close to 29 and not sure where, bars aside (which I presume are suboptimal) good locations to go about trying to find women. I'm seeing dating websites as a desperate last resort here.

>>17142843

You know, if you pound too much pussy, your dick will get shaved down from the friction and your foreskin stretched from the suction, until it looks like a deflated balloon hanging off a toothpick.