Was i molested?

I have no idea, but talk to a professional.

this is the definition

>to make annoying sexual advances to; especially to force physical and usually sexual contact on

you were never molested. You may have wierd paternalistic issues, yes, but you are not a rape survivor

>>17122672
Maybe you actually want to fuck him and feel guilty about it.

You could seek professional help or you could just confront that shit. Tell him that he makes you uncomfortable and really help him understand that. The worst thing that can happen is some discomfert unless theres something sinister undeneath the surface but to me it sounds like that is not the case. At least then you will have more infomation on what is actually going on wether he is straight forward with you or not.

>>17122672

No, but...
>and had delusions about the world for a period, I thought the world would end etc. I got really sensitive and my feelings really changed everyday from really high to really low etc.
but you show both symptoms from the bipolar and the manic-depressive spectrum.

Coupled with your strange feelings to your dad, most likely something is messed up with your psyche. Seek a professional.

>>17122672
Have you considered the possibility that your dad is perfectly normal and that the only reason this is an issue is because you imagine that he's looking weirdly at you (even though he isn't)?

I don't care about the answer, it's just worth considering. A lot of interpersonal problems begin with yourself and not the other part.

>>17122705

THIS.

Talk with your dad about it, OP (>>17122672), and together find out what it is. Communication is a thing, you know ...

>>17122714
Yes that's why i say i 'feel' he is flirting with me and not that he is. I have also considered maybe i was molested by someone else when i was a child, because i heard of someone who started to be afraid of her dad when her PTSD started but actually she was molested by her grandfather when she was a child

>>17122715
Should i try that? It would awkward if he's not doing it and if he is doing it ofc he would not admit it

>>17122695
Yes i know he's not molesting me if he's flirting, what i mean is some people who were sexually abused as children repress it so they don't remember it

>>17122745
you've got issues girl

no, it doesn't work that way. it takes years to consciously repress a memory, and you still know you deleted it. You can't just say "oh I was sexually abused just because I have a weird relationship with my dad" if you don't even remember anything. You're really exhibiting signs of mental illness, and I mean that seriously.

>>17122735

>Should i try that?

Talking about it (Your strange feelings)? Yes!

Not of course about molestation or such, unless you were sure. Since it most likely did NOT happen. While it can happen that the brain shuts off certain memories of abuse, it is SUPER rare and usually only happens in conjunction with full blown PTSD, heavy disassociation, and all the "fun" stuff like that -> You wouldn't function as a person if it happened, so since you remember nothing, he did not abuse you most likely.

BUT there are a hell of a lot other reasons why you feel strange around him/ do not get along with him, both in your past and in the way you deal with each other, and talking it out is the best way to find out what it is, and what you both can do to strengthen your relationship again.

So go talk with him.

>>17122672
You were raped...

>>17122763

>You're really exhibiting signs of mental illness, and I mean that seriously.

THIS.

OP is a crazy bitch, and her innocent dad will be better of without her, once she finally ends her worthless life.

Thanks everyone who comes with advice i'm really happy with that.
Maybe I should add that my dad is an alcoholic
>>17122768
All right i will consider talking with him. Or else i will ask them if something traumatic happened to me as a child that could make me feel the way i am now. Thank you
>>17122763
I'm not claiming i was sexually abused why would someone do that? I'm just thinking of reasons for why i feel this way
>>17122763
what mental issue? I talked with a therapist who said i'm not mentally ill or depressed

>>17122672
>so when i was 16 i started feeling weird about my dad, i couldn't be around him, the thought of him being in the next room made me really uncomfortable.
Do you have any other worries like this about people other than your dad?

>I also isolated myself totally from other people and had delusions about the world for a period, I thought the world would end etc
>I got really sensitive and my feelings really changed everyday from really high to really low etc
How's your social life now? Good close friendships? Any romantic experiences?
And have you have any more of these emotional instability episodes, any more delusional thoughts or impulses?

>I also have really bad thoughts and suicide thoughts which i've had for about 8 months now.
Describe them, please.

>Is it just hormons?
No, what you're describing is not typical. I'm getting a pretty strong vibe as to what's specifically wrong here, but you'll need to explain further.
Couple more questions: Are you male or female? Use any medications or drugs (such as tobacco, alcohol, or weed?)

>>17122806
>Maybe I should add that my dad is an alcoholic
Does he have any mental health issues? Can you describe his personality?
Same goes for your mother, if you know her enough to answer.

>I talked with a therapist who said i'm not mentally ill or depressed
Presuming you were there for depression? What else did you talk about?
Did they basically say "you're fine" and send you on your way?

>>17122874
Hi
No not in the same way. But i have gotten much more suspicious of other people and in my delusional phase i thought a woman I know (who is very messed up, sociopath i think) was making voodoo on me.
I have no social life now, i sit alone in the break and eat, i almost can't talk with anyone. No romantic experience.
About any other delusional thoughts there's a lot and I think it ranges over hmm 2 years. I was obsessed with the world would end, i thought about it all the time, watched youtube videos. i really believed it. I also had some obsessive thought at one point but my therapist says it's because i was very anxious in this period. I saw a ''video-tape'' in my head that i couldn't think of anything else where i get castrated. Im gay male.
I think i think badly because i'm around my mother a lot who has a very negative way of thinking, she doesn't trust anyone, she says life is a bitch etc. I also think about how much of a weirdo i've become and that i'll never become normal again. and i think about killing myself actually i have decided to do so many times but i'm not gonna do it. When i was 16 before everything started i smoked weed once but not a lot of it. Later, after i had gotten a bit crazy i smoked again for real. it was when i was 16-17. I think i did it 10 times over this period.
About my dad, idk if he has but maybe he has something? idk. About his personality. He's very calm, happy etc. He's really happy when he's drunk. He needs social interaction. My mom is kind of abusive, she takes it personally if he's doing something with friends because then she'll be alone. She's very manipulative. Whenever i tell her about my problems she starts talking about herself and she always has worse problems than me.

I was there because of suicide thoughts. I talked with a therapist for 5 sessions. She said i should try to be more social and take care of myself.

>>17122931
>I have no social life now, i sit alone in the break and eat,
Sorry to hear that. I actually wrote out a response to this assuming you were a girl and had to replace it when i read further down: girls have it easier on this side of things.
At any rate, are you in any clubs or other organizations? Consider joining a few, they help a lot.
See if there's a "reject table", ie a table with a bunch of guys looking weird, fucked-up, or sick. Sit with them. It's better to be fucked-up together than fucked-up and alone.

>i almost can't talk with anyone.
Why is this exactly? Do you tense up around them, feel worried or afraid?
Worry about their intentions, why they're talking to you, what they're thinking, etc?
Physically can't speak, like the words won't come out?
Try to talk but they can't understand what you're trying to say, like the thoughts are clear in your head but come out all mixed-up and confused?
Don't know what to say or how to say it, so conversations are basically a long series of awkward silences?
Any of these apply? Any other problems?

>My mom is kind of abusive, she takes it personally if he's doing something with friends because then she'll be alone. She's very manipulative. Whenever i tell her about my problems she starts talking about herself and she always has worse problems than me.
Heh, i think we can guess at least one reason your father drinks. Sorry to hear it though, it's rough having a family member like that. How's their marriage going?
And what problems does she tell you about (mentally speaking)? Has she ever seen a mental health professional, been diagnosed, etc?

How does the weed affect you? Do you still smoke regularly?

>She said i should try to be more social and take care of myself.
Really goddamn helpful, eh? Some therapists are just godawful, sounds like you ran into one.
If this gets worse, next time see a psychiatrist (they're doctors, and can usually refer you to a few competent therapists they know).

>>17122672
Could be Borderline or Bipolar psychosis. Seek professional help.

>>17123010
I'm not in any clubs or organizations unfortunately.
Those sound really like my dream friends. xD
I don't have much interest in being with the normal people because i can't live up to them. they might not understand me, i'm afraid they will bully me for being weird. Also some days im just really not in the mood to socialize.
There's one girl i wanted to talk to from another class that's also alone all the time but i never did.
When i had weird thoughts etc. i didn't talk with anyone for a whole year or so, so i guess i just got really bad at it. I'm getting a little better lately but i'm still not good to what topics to talk about or how to talk. Yes i'm afraid of what they're thinking. Sometimes i have something funny to say but i just don't because i'm afraid it will come out wrong.
Their marriage isn't going well, whenever he drinks she sleeps on a mattress. My mother has never had mental issues or so, and only talked with a therapist once, when she was widowed.
I haven't smoked for over a year now so i don't think it affects me anymore. When i smoked it the first time for real, i got heart beat and very uncomfortable, i was very afraid my soul would leave my body and things like that. After some hours i was ok again. Generally when i smoke i get even more inside my own head and become a bit distant i guess. But afterwards when i smoked again it was mostly just fun.
Thanks for the advice i'll consider that. I also considered talking with my doctor about it.

Mental health professional here. I am not seeing borderline at the moment and most of my work is with borderline. I do think that there is a potential for psychosis and would recommend that you see a therapist and psychiatrist.

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>>17123065
>buying the psychiatrist meme
Top kek. Is this reddit?

She is just a typical professional victim. No mental issues here

>>17123045
>There's one girl i wanted to talk to from another class that's also alone all the time but i never did.
Always take these opportunities. Think about it this way: you may be the only person that talks to them all year (of course, that's extremely unlikely for a girl, but still possible).
Make friends with other weirdos and misfits whenever you can, it'll enrich your life, boost your sanity, and strengthen your grip on reality.

>When i had weird thoughts etc. i didn't talk with anyone for a whole year or so, so i guess i just got really bad at it.
Heh, same here. Just make that 7 years instead. Take it from me, don't let it go that far.

Overall, how would you say the frequency of those "weird thoughts" has changed over time?
Are you having them more or less often?
What about the depressive and suicidal thoughts? More or less over time?

>>17123069
Read the fucking thread before shitposting.

>>17123097
''>There's one girl i wanted to talk to from another class that's also alone all the time but i never did.
Always take these opportunities. Think about it this way: you may be the only person that talks to them all year (of course, that's extremely unlikely for a girl, but still possible).
Make friends with other weirdos and misfits whenever you can, it'll enrich your life, boost your sanity, and strengthen your grip on reality.''
Yeah that's true. I know I would also be really glad when someone talks to me. Thanks. I screenshot this advice from you
I started to think of the world as something was wrong, the devil was controlling it and soon it would end and there would be chaos where i live. I was thinking about that a lot for a period and i was so afraid it would happen, but now i don't think about that at all. So i don't have those kind of thoughts anymore. Suicidal thoughts started after my delusional thoughts. It started 8 months ago i would say but it's only thoughts i'm not planning to do it. it has gotten worse to the point where i decide i will do it.
I would put it this way:
2013:a little delusional, but positive, still social
2014: very delusional, still kind of positive, i had obsessive thoughts here, very unstable emotions (highs and lows), isolate myself
2015: not delusional, suicide thoughts begin, negative
2016: not delusional, hates everyone, negative, numb, bitter, suicide thoughts, no hope

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>>17123168
>hates everyone
I don't think you really hate anyone, anon. Don't say things like that if you don't mean them.

It'd be a good idea to spend more time with your father when you can, it sounds like both of you could use it. Your mother's an example of what you want to avoid becoming: truly antisocial, in the correct use of the word.

Resist the thoughts of suicide. Been doing it for 10 years and i'm still around, you can too.
Also resist the urge to isolate yourself. It's insidious and powerful, but fight it. When you make friends, remind them that you do like them and want to talk to them, you're just not very good at it yet.

Another thing: always fight the paranoid thoughts/feelings, like the ones about people wanting to hurt you, being molested by your dad, etc. This is critical for you and everyone you care for, since these feelings can sabotage good relationships and turn you against your closest friends if they get out of control. But you can learn to suppress and eventually tune them out with enough practice.
Master them, don't let them master you.

See a psychiatrist for the depression if it continues. Therapy can help. Current-generation antidepressants might be less effective for you due to your risk factors, but the next generation (currently in testing) act differently in the brain and will likely help much more.

If the delusions and mood swings come back, see a psychiatrist immediately. You may have a mild form of something called schizoaffective disorder, and active episodes have to be treated to maintain your long-term mental health.
If you never have another episode, feel free to forget about this completely.

In general, try to stay positive. Even if your problems never get better, you'll get used to them.
We're human, we're resilient. Shit knocks us down, but we get back up.