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Self-sabotaged my degree 3x, thinking about a 4th

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Half-way through electronic engineering I realised I didn't care about my life and didn't attend lectures or exams - thought I deserved to die homeless.
But I did feel obligated to try the year again, to not waste a college opportunity that billions would kill for.

When family found out, they put me in much-needed therapy and set me to try a third time, which I also fucked up.
Another college accepted me and I can only confirm if I know I'll succeed - can't let the debt increase.
But if I delay I'm wasting another year at 24yo, I can't do anything without a degree etc.
Still psychologically unfit for a degree, and still doing it out of guilt - I have this fantasy of researching world-saving AIs that'll redeem my failures and investments from my wealthy parents.

[I know I'm lucky as fuck and if I could die and switch places with anyone who'd fucking appreciate my opportunities, I would]
>>
You will build a world-saving AI that will make everything worth it. I believe in you anon.
>>
Diagnosis : Depression
>>
EE is a fucking shitty degree. Can you see yourself doing anything else?
>>
>>17116990
Take a break and try again later.
>>
>>17117792
>EE
>Shitty degree

OP, if you decide to do the EE, try get an internship somewhere and see if you can work there afterwards. Your teachers/fellow students can help.
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