just need some advice

>>17110979
you shouldnt drug yourself

even doctors/psychiatrists dont drug themselves because you need a professional to decide that for you. Even if you are a professional yourself.

Sounds like he doesn't believe in any of it. Why is he so against medication?

>>17110988
my dad believes that meditation is the key to fucking everything

Are you underage?

All you can do is bear it until you're out. When you go to college you can see a psychiatrist without your dad knowing, or when you move out or whatever.

Until then, just remind him of how you're feeling and how it's messing up your life.

Learn methods to help that don't involve drugs.

I think it's kind of risky for anyone underage to be on medication anyways, your brain is still developing.

There is behavioral therapy that can help with anxiety in depression. Maybe ask your dad if he would be interested in helping you see someone like that.

>>17110994
talk to a psychiatrists about that you feel sad and that your dad kicks you out if you do prescription

>>17111001
I'm not underage, and I'm in college, its just by my house. I've been in therapy on and off for years, I just have a bunch of fucked up reoccurring childhood memories, and I cry literally every night because I just can't handle shit, I've been doing it for a long time. And I used to always think about suicide but when I did my heart rushed, but now when I do I feel nothing.

>>17111004
I do.

>>17111022
So what does he say?

If you need meds you need meds.

if you dont need meds you dont need them.

its like saying your dad will kick you out if you get cancer treatment

>>17111022
You should try living on campus maybe.

Have you ever tried behavioral therapy?

What sorts of memories haunt you? How long have you been going through this?

>>17111031
my mom got brain cancer when i was 11, I have a lot of issues because I was scared and I feared seeing her while she was sick so I completely ignored her. I was molested as a kid and I get really panicky when I get "triggered", just randomly. I have panic attacks like 3 times a week.
>>17111029
He says he doesnt want me dependent on an anti depressant, but I'd much rather be dependent than suicidal.

>>17111045
Sorry that those things happened to you anon. But you can still have a fulfilling life and not let these issues rule you one day. You don't NEED medication to accomplish this, but it can help.

You father is being an ass. But you are an adult and can make your own decisions about your life, he should respect that.

I doubt he would actually kick you out. You should consider having your doctor speak with your father, if you still have one, and if not maybe a professor at the college that you trust.

He is belittling your viewpoint because he is infantilizing you. It might take another older adult to help him see the light.

>>17111067
thank you :) I'll ask one of my professors.

>>17111045
>>17111067
Jesus, sorry OP. This other anon is spot on. Fathers aren't always right, and I'm sure he's being controlling because he cares about you, and probably feels guilty in some way for the shit that you've gone through.

Another adult (like the psych) can help. Typically, you would have a team of doctors to help, not just the psych. Your family physician is making sure your hormones and physical health isn't detrimental while some psychs do 1-1 counseling and medication monitoring versus another psych that might specialize in PTSD group therapy.

Yes, anti-depressants can be addicting, but you're supposed to have a team of docs that are monitoring the situation and not let it get to that. (Don't lie to your docs.)

Good luck. You deserve to be free of the demons that haunt you.