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How much has money been an issue for you in your relationship.

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How much has money been an issue for you in your relationship.

I've been in a 3 year relationship. My gf finally has 2 part time jobs, but nothing stepping. I have a full time job that has area to move up.
MY focus is my career / earning a living. Throughout the relationship I've been more smart with my money / attitudes / worked hard to get jobs. My concern is if money is already an issue now. How much will it be more in the future? I feel as times goes on she'll want kids but shes in debt. I want something more even.
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It sounds a lot as though money is a big issue for you. You sound resentful of the fact that she doesn't earn as much money as you. But that doesn't necessarily need to be a problem.

I think you should ask yourself why this bother you so much. does she pay her share of the rent / utilities / groceries / whatever?

It's perfectly reasonable not to want to have kids until the both of you are debt-free. But you need to have this conversation with her.
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If in the relationship you are already resentful about what "your" money is being spent on as opposed to "her" money, then you are doing it wrong. Do you expect that when you have kids down the line, you will rip shopping lists in half where she buys the formula and you the diapers?

If you believe she has made imprudent financial decision, part of learning to chart a future in the relationship is being able to bring it to her attention in a respectful way and being able to discuss solutions. Note that being a woman is a huge detractor in the open job market, and had you been her, you yourself may not have been a better way out of the situation.

Your attitude sounds more like "I made better decisions than you did so I deserve these nice things which are MINE and I resent you for using MY THINGS!" Newsflash: no matter what the redpill MRAs talk about, women earn less than men, and their career paths are hampered by societal and personal expectations of starting a family down the line. ANY woman you date within your socioeconomic stratum is going to earn approximately 85% of your wages and if you land upon a millionaire, she's not dating you for your prudent financial choices. Once said woman becomes pregnant and the mother of children, she will earn even less.

Wanting something "more even" by your definition involves a childless marriage where you are dating above your stratum. Note that these women, to focus on the career and earning a living, will not be doing the emotional work and commitment your girlfriend currently brings to the table. To be honest, since any woman would be dating below her stratum to get with you, you will need to bring more to the table once you break up with your girlfriend due to these irreconcilable differences.
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>>17091825
She's a woman who is more focused on relationships clearly. Would you prefer being with someone who is 100% career focused, barely makes the time of day for you, is more irritable from high stress work so will snap at you more often, and probably won't want any children because of said career?

The stupidity on this board sometimes is incredible..
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>>17091825
Nigger it's both of your money, and make a god damn budget. There's no reason anyone without a family should be living paycheck to paycheck.

I graduated college $35,000 in debt 26 months ago and got a job paying $33,000 per year with a $5000 signing bonus. I ate beans, chicken, rice, milk and occassionally home brewed beer almost exclusively, lived in a studio apartment, drove a $1000 POS car, but now I'm completely debt free. Even have $3000 in the bank.

And you know what? It wasn't even bad. I learned to lift, cook, brew, fucked my girlfriend more.
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>>17092157
we both made plans and goals on both having full time jobs. Moving in together (which we haven't done) and having money to go on vacation.

I was applying to jobs everyday. Hunting down people I knew at companies , redoing my resume and making a real effort to get a job. So we could both afford to do nice things.

at one point I said "hey could you apply more to jobs I feel once I get a job we might grow apart". Then I'm met with excuses / her defensive side.

I've been respectful, patient and allowed her time to do it her own way. Now at almost 3 years I'm concerned for us. I want to move in and go on vacation. I don't want to worry about money. I'm focused on a career and I'd want to date someone that is focused as well.

>>17092539
Shes complained about money throughout this relationship.
"I just don't want to be your broke gf"
"I need to change my mentality about money"

then I'd suggest the more you look for jobs. The more opportunity you will get to have a job and take care of your financial issues.

At this point I've helped as much as I can. I've motivated her as much as I can. I've been patient. I've been understanding / sensitive etc.

As time goes on in the relationship I feel a pressure to commit more. But all I want is for her to have a job, apply herself more, so then we can have money together.

I haven't been a dick to her. I've been patient. I'm just at the end of my rope thinking. Fuck is it always going to be like this?
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>>17092198
a full time job isn't going to completely change her. Being focused on a career isn't going to rot her from the inside out.

but going to university and getting into debt for it. Says to me she made a investment to have a career. She is in debt.

I only want to see more of an effort to take care of her finances and have money so we can do nice things together.
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>>17092539
>There's no reason anyone without a family should be living paycheck to paycheck

this is exactly what I'm thinking.

I want her to take care of herself more financially. Which is done by having a job.

Perhaps my post is coming off a bit dick'ish.

but I find in moments when we talk about future/money/career. She just agrees with me. Claims shes looking for a job.

Fast forward months later. I'm at the end of my rope wondering. wtf is going on?

>ANY woman you date within your socioeconomic stratum is going to earn approximately 85% of your wages and if you land upon a millionaire, she's not dating you for your prudent financial choices.

I'm not getting into this debate. I know lots of money in this city (Toronto) that have jobs. It's a massive city with lots and lots of jobs.
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>>17092705
If you don't think being career focused for a woman is going to change her, then you're thinking of this from a man's perspective. You ain't got the clock ticking and wrinkles starting to develop
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>>17092747
so then why do women go to university. get into debt ?

to just become a stay at home mom with no job?
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