ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

Girls, would you just cuddle a guy?
Or is that reserved for fwb or bf only?

No I'm not Brandon.

>>17083462
I used to cuddle with one of my male friends. We were super close but never been interested romantically.
It's not something I'd do with a random dude tho.

how do you go about having sex with someone who has been abused? could use advice from either gender.

They were fairly young when it first happened but i think it happened more than once, im iffy on the specifics but i believe them cause they freaked out once when it seemed like we were going to make out.

I just want to make her comfortable.

>>17083485
you were never interested in him you mean. He wanted to fuck your brains out.

>>17083462
Bf only.

I'd feel weird cuddling anyone else. It's too intimate. I don't think I'd even want to cuddle with a FWB.

>>17083548
No, no. I was super ugly at the time (fat as fuck, acne) - no one wanted to fuck my brain outs back then.
He also was pretty good looking and dating really fine ladies.
We had been best friends since elementary school and we were just really close.

Girls, do you expect guys to ask you out on a date or to a dance? Have you ever asked a guy out? To me it seems like In my generation, the guys always have to be the ones to ask first.

>>17083542
victims of abuse tend to replicate their behavior when the abuse initially happened during sex.

For example,someone who might have been a victim of rape OR constantly in a situation where they were powerless,would most likely manifest submissive traits during sex.

There have been tons of other cases where genitalia would behave abnormally in regards to sexual stimulation,I'm not talking squirting or unusual fluids,but vaginas could contract much more than they would normally or penises might get as erect as it should.However,with diminishing sexual performance could be purely psychosomatic in some cases

as far as how to go about it AND make them feel comfortable? Sorry m8,but being comfortable varies from person to person.Sometimes it would mean longer and gentler foreplay,or giving vocal assurance that nothing demeaning will happen

>>17083574
It has always been like that. They're the traditional roles, when it comes to dating.

Now some girls are taking initiative, but it's still kind of weird. Some guys even find it not feminine and are embarrassed by it.

I don't expect guys to ask me out, this kind of thing just kind of happened to me, without someone formally asking for it.

I like surprising my girl with gifts.

She said she's feels bad when I spend money on her and "I don't have to her anything."

Is she telling me to stop or

I've been wondering lately. As a girl I always feel less taken seriously compared to a guy. If a guy is smart it's nothing special, but if a girl is smart a guy is ''lucky'' and so on. It really depresses me at times. Do guys here (well I know typically on 4chan they do) really see females as less capable? It's been bugging me for a while and I've been starting to believe it.

I'm not talking about physically capable because I know biologically girls are less strongly built that's a fact.

>>17083640
No. She is most definitely not

>>17083636
Wait for him to reply! Don't ruin something g that can potentially happen.

>>17083640
it could mean that she's going to cut it off with you in the near future and she wants as little guilt as possible

>>17083640
>Is she telling me to stop or
no kek, unless she is most definitely different than your average female, your average female does not want you to stop

>>17083652
Not really, I know way too many females that are more capable than me and many of my friends.

>>17083652
Stop going to 4chan, these guys are (fortunately) not an accurate representation of the average guy and it's only going to skew your world view

Here's a question for the girls. If a guy texts you (one that you're friends with) and the lets say 2 or 3 of your girl friends text you, would you reply to them first and ignore the guy? Also how often do you forget to reply to someone?

Alright /adv/ I'm pretty sure this is a "different-for-every-girl" question but I'm hoping you can shed some light on this for me.

What the fuck does it mean when a girl tells you she feels safe around you?

I always figured it meant that a girl sees you more as an older brother type figure and that it meant she was not interested in anything romantic/sexual, but a female friend recently told me otherwise.

Basically, a couple months ago I was planning on going to an event with some friends and we were all supposed to leave for it together, and one girl that was coming with us texted me that she was gonna be a little late and asked me to wait for her. I figured yeah why not, it's not like I need to get there right when it started and it's a long way away so I can see why she might not wanna go alone. On the way to the event, she said a couple times that of all the people that were going that I was the one she asked me to wait for her because she felt really safe around me. Like I said earlier I interpreted this as her basically calling me a brother so I figured she was telling me not to get the wrong idea about her asking me to wait for her, that she felt safe in the sense she didn't think I would try to make a move on her ever.

I always thought this girl was pretty cute so I was bummed about that. Fast forward to yesterday and this girl came up in conversation with my guy friend and his girlfriend. I end up telling the story, and my friend's girlfriend tells me that I got the complete opposite idea of what the girl wanted, and that she was basically hinting that she wanted to spend more time with me intimately. Now I'm realizing that a couple of girls that I was good friends with and liked in the past but never tried anything with because I figured they were out of my league had made similar comments about feeling safe with me, which I always assumed was them being able to tell that I liked them and giving me a premature "no" to let me down gently. Was I wrong?

>>17083674
I wouldn't be so sure about that. I've texted girls and they would read a message but then get sidetracked and forget to reply. Maybe send him one more text but not one saying to forget about it. Make it like a question that you have or something. (this will get him to check his messages again just in case he forgot to reply)

>>17083676
Depends what they're texting obviously. If the guy texts me "How you doing" and the girls all text "OH GOD JENNYS HOUSE IS ON FIRE", I'd answer them first.
I don't ever really forget about texts, I mean I get a notification thing for them on my phone. If I don't answer a text its because I don't feel like it usually.

>>17083686

Thanks Anon. I sent him another one anyway bumbling on about how I didn't want to ask so soon but then decided to ask anyway, basically implying I want to see him. This one hasn't been read yet.

I guess I'll just wait and see if he replies. I always worry about things like this...I just don't want to put him under any pressure or highlight the fact he might not want to see me.

>>17083676
Depends completely on the message and how close we are, guy/girl doesn't make a difference
Fairly frequently, especially if it's not an urgent text

>>17083674
Well all you can do is wait till he replies and plan something to do with your free day elsewhere if he doesn't show up so you don't end up sulking alone. It also makes you look more independent and more attractive to those with attachment issues which I assume he has since he doesn't react the moment you want to take the next step.

Anyway OP don't waste your time sulking. Hit him up sometime later and talk about it just don't apologize you did nothing wrong.

>>17083636
>Or should I just leave things and wait for him to respond?
Yeah. If he thinks it's awkward you'd just make it awkwarder by bringing it up to apologize.

>>17083652
tbhfam we grow up constantly hearing about various programs and efforts to give women a leg up. Most people conclude they actually need it.

Aside from that, there's a more subtle thing where people (rightfully or not) think that people tend to go easier on women when they fuck up, cover for them more etc. And being held to a lower standard obviously means people expect less.

>>17083685
Here's the thing. I feel very safe around my guy friends but I don't tell them that. If I like a guy and I feel safe around him, I will tell him. If she's like me, she want to get closer to you. In a romantic sense

>>17083685
>which I always assumed was them being able to tell that I liked them and giving me a premature "no" to let me down gently. Was I wrong?
Yes

>>17083636
If you do send another message don't let it be related to the invitation at all. It'll make you sound insecure, needy, and desperate.

>>17083695

Thank you, Anon :)

I did have plans to do something else if he wasn't available and basically told him that there was no pressure and it was fine if he didn't fancy it. Looking back, it all sounded very polite.

I wouldn't have sulked as I understand that he may have other things to do and might just want a day alone. I just wanted to make sure he was as comfortable as possible with me asking. I suppose sometimes I feel like I don't deserve someones time, so it's hard for me to ask for it.

>>17083697
>various programs and efforts to give women a leg up
Are you talking about the ones for women in male dominated industries like engineering? Or are there ones for women in general?

>>17083585
Yeah, it really sucks for both parties. I'm not a girl, but I know girls who would love to ask guys out but are scared the guy might feel like the woman in the relationship if this happens, like getting asked out is an emasculating experience for a guy.
>>17083640
This is something that most people will do. No one wants someone else to feel like they have to buy them gifts all the time, and there is some guilt that comes with receiving gifts and not being able to give. Telling someone they don't have to do it is just the polite thing to do, no matter how much the receiver actually likes the gifts.
>>17083652
This guy >>17083664 hit on exactly what I was gonna say. I've known way too many smart women to believe women aren't capable of as much as men intellectually.
>>17083699
>>17083701
Fuck. Well, at least I know for the future, thanks.

>>17083652
If you ask a guy he'll say no, but it's a subconscious bias almost everyone (even girls) have that girls are less capable than men.

It's behind the trope where a biker does some badass stunts and when they remove their helmet it's a GIRL!?

It's also behind this riddle. A father and his son get into a car accident. The father rushes his son to the hospital. When he gets there the doctor says, "I can't operate in this child! He's my son!" How is this possible?

>>17083716
>How is this possible?
He has two fathers and they are a gay couple duh

>>17083640
I like small gifts (flowers, chocolate, books, bullshit like that) but it embarrasses me if people spend more than 15€ on me.
My ex used to do it and I asked him to stop many times.
At the end I started spending the same amount of money on him.

>>17083719
It's a bit of an old riddle, and I set up the answer quite heavily with my preface, but ask it to someone out of that context and you'll find quite a few people struggling to come up with an answer.

>>17083687
Thank you! This girl that I have been texting says that she forgets to reply and texts right in front of me without replying to me, I wonder if she just doesn't feel like talking to me.

>>17083690
Post if he replies! And don't worry I worry about things like this too.

>>17083734
Might be, I suppose it depends on what you're texting her, and how close you are.
She might just have other stuff on her mind or is busy or whatnot.

>>17083730
Yeah I've heard it before, it's just weird the lengths people go to before they consider the surgeon is a women

>>17083740
I've known her for quite a while, we have hung out a few times, but this year it's a bit different. It feels like when I give her attention she ignores me and when I ignore her she tries tries to get my attention.

>>17083754
She's just a friend, though, or do you two have any history?
Because that kind of behaviour points towards some emotional involvement, to me.

>>17083758
I asked her out a very long time ago but she said no because she wasn't ready for a relationship yet (this was when we were younger and we never hung out before but we have watched movies in the theaters and at my house a few times this year in 2015 and 2016)

>>17083652
You can take this as you will, but I think I have a unique perspective on this since I'm trans and passing as a woman.

Before I was living this way, guys gave my opinions and ideas serious merit from the get-go. I did feel like I was taken more seriously a lot of the time... especially on certain topics. I can't mention computers without sceptical looks or total dismissal, and if we're discussing science, I'm more often wrong-by-default than given the benefit of the doubt, and I have to prove every claim much more thoroughly for anyone to believe me. If I'm solving a problem on a team, ideas that would've been taken seriously from first suggestion are now more the last thing to try if everything else fails, which drives me nuts because it wastes time that used to not be wasted. I worked on a group project that had huge swaths of it not functioning at the end of the course, and my group finally admitted during our last 3-4 group meetings, 'wow we really should've gone with her idea for <x> this isn't working at all'.

Granted, I think I'm taken more seriously on other topics, which bothers me because those are precisely what I'm bad at... things like aesthetics or navigating social shit.

It's been a noticable shift. I'm not saying it's all guys, or universal, but it has been jarring on occasion.

>>17083769
Hm, well then I don't know. Maybe she just as stuff going on in her life.

>>17083758
Also, recently she almost went out with one of my friends but things didn't work out and my friend hates her now because she fucked everything up. But she said to me "I don't like you that much, I would take (friends name) over you any day. But she has absolutely no chance with him now (he has a go now). Sooo... Idk

>>17083772
Shit, I'm going into software development and that's kind of depressing

>>17083774
That's also true, her mom is having a baby and her sister and parents were fighting, and we are taking IB classes in school (harder than AP).

Guys
My FWB is getting very attached to me. I am mostly fine with it, he is awesome. We are slowly turning into a couple.

Should I say something about it or just wait till things figure themselves out?

>>17083781
It's not too bad. I found it was worse in school... actual software companies don't have time for that shit, and I've found it to be pretty relaxed. Once you're coding with a bunch of people every day, it becomes instantly clear who is competent and who is not... and most guys actually in software have been around the block too many times to have that sort of attitude.

It still happens in conversation and such outside of work (guys taking me less seriously), but work is perfectly ok.

>>17083803
Clear communication is always better

>>17083807
Okay that's not so bad, I'm in uni now and I've had pretty much no problems at all and I was worried that would change once I started working

Girls,

Why is it that I always end up being intimate with girls before / instead of hook up sex?

For instance: meet a girl at a party, get touchy, start making out, sleep in the same bed, wake up, spend most of the next day together cuddling, kissing, talking, and listening to music or watching something. No sex. Or I go over to a girl's house and the same occurs.

By the way, I'm not really concerned by this, just curious what y'all think. What would be your opinion of a guy like that? How would you feel about him after?

I have a relatively low sex drive, even very low compared to most guys my age. In these situations, I usually show mild interest in having sex but ultimately don't care and don't press them.

General advice also appreciated

>>17083825
Well if you have a low sex drive and don't mind it, I suppose it's not really a problem for you.
I can see that it might be for the gals, though. If I was making out and cuddling with a guy all day and he never even thought of sleeping with me, I'd feel as if there's something wrong with me (plus the general frustration of not getting laid when you want to)

>been having long text sessions with a girl
>meet up with her twice to ask if she wants to get coffee
>she says yes, but later she has something to do
>inquire about her being free tomorrow
>she says her parents don't really let her out (I'm in highschool (and a senior no reporterino pls))
>continuing, before talking with her, I was told she might have a boyfriend
>I've also seen her walking with this guy twice

Am I wrong for being paranoid and anxious? I just had to rant somewhere, but I'm getting bad vibes..

>>17083829
Just ask her? No use in being strung along if she has one.

>>17083832
Well, here's the situation. She's my prom date, so I don't want to fuck it up. That's also why I want to take her to places, so we can get to know each other, but apparently her parents won't let her (or she's making an excuse). I'm at a loss here

Guys, sex question.
After you cum, do you just lose all interest in whatever you've cum to (or whoever you've cum with)?
I've heard guys say they basically start finding porn disgusting the second they orgasm, and the clichée about just falling asleep instantly and such.
Thanks

>>17083838
IS she your prom date already? As in, have you asked her out?
Because if you haven't and it turns out she's got a boyfriend, it'll be pretty shitty.

>>17083843
Yeah, I asked and she said yes.

>>17083846
Well then she probably doesn't have a boyfriend I'd hope.

>>17083839
Unless I'm horny enough to go for a round two immediately afterwards, yeah.

>>17083855
How often does that happen?
Because from my point of view its the opposite, orgasms make me all giddy and energetic and want to continue.

>>17083848
Yeah, I'm probably just being really paranoid for no reason.

>>17083839
It depends, honestly. If it's a girl I care about then no I don't lose interest in her, but if it's just casual sex with someone who's more or less random then pretty much, and I don't expect her to care about me either. Porn though, I definitely lose all interest in after cumming no matter what, and various level of disgust/shame accompany the level of degeneracy of the porn.

>>17083856
Do you mean how often I'm ready for a round two, or how often I lose interest.

I should also clarify on my first response. If I'm with someone I care about I still care about them after I cum, my sexual interest is just pretty much shot.

Help from any gender is welcome
Guy here, 30. I think I'm starting to get a reputation for dating only young girls, the girls I've been seeing or have been interested in me have been 10+ years younger. I'm not filtering older girls by any means and would actually prefer dating someone closer to my age (last girl I hooked up with was only a year younger than me) but since I've been involved with a bunch of younger girls lately, I've gotten kind of a bad rap. I've been interested in a 25 year old girl recently and my friends would rip on me saying she's too old for me. I know it's just bantz but it made me look back at my dating history. How can I turn this around? Or do I just not mention it? I feel like a creep.

>>17083861
>>17083865
Alright so it is an emotional thing too, that's good to know.
And I meant how often you go for another round/can go for another round?
Sorry guys if those are stupid questions, I'm lesbo and not all that knowledgeable.

>>17083876
Maybe once every 10 times. I usually have to wait out my refractory period.

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Started talking to a girl online
She lives in another country, but I have a big crush on her now since she seems so sweet
She asked me if I could be her tour guide if she ever visits the US

Last night, I sent a message saying "Hey, since we've begun talking, I've come to like you. If you ever visit the US, want to turn that tour I promised you into a date?"

I logged in and saw a response. She said "haha.. are you asking me on a date?"

I simply replied "yes. Only if either of us ever visits the other's country, of course" and logged back off.

But crap. That response seems worrisome. I don't know what she'll say. I don't know what to take from that. Any thoughts on that? Do you think anything can be taken from that?

CRAP
THIS IS WORRISOME
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>17083895
You'll find for sure when she responds. Chill out dude.

>>17083899
but i just have such a big crush on her ;_;
Alright.
I'm logging into Facebook now. Wish me luck

My girlfriend loves to wear clothes and lingerie that I find sexy, and I want to return the favor but I don't know how. She likes when I dress up in a suit and I've done that a few times, but I feel like that will get old and sometimes it's a bit of a hassle to get dressed up in expensive clothes constantly, see her and then try not to mess them up throughout the day.

I'm currently a little chubby, but I'm working on getting in shape although that obviously takes time. Girls/guys here, what are some looks or clothes on guys that you find sexy? Am I just totally doomed until I lose some weight? I want to show her what she means to me, and it'll make me more confident and a better lover to her too.

>>17083902
Prayin for you fammo

>>17083908
Wear her panties.

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>>17083899
SHE SAID YES
. ''. 'S
. 'S E S
S E Y E S
. 'S E S
. ''. 'S

So I've been working slowly at talking to women. However, every time so far out of 15-20, I've gotten the "just friends" type stuff. I've been using the general tips about eye contact/ body language, etc. that people post here as a compass to gauge these girls interest, but I'm not getting anywhere.

I'm starting to have trouble figuring out if a girl is interested at all now because of this, since all the "typical" signs didn't help.

So I guess my question is what should I do to start revaluating what I'm doing? Other than keeping at it, of course (which I still am).

>wasted my 20s having fun and traveling
>go back to university in my early 30s to finish my degree
>this shy girl in my program evidently has a crush on me.
I'm not real sure how to handle this situation, I am at least ten years older than her. I kind of have been purposely ignoring the signs but other people have noticed how she is around me.
I will have at least two more semesters with her in my classes, I'd rather them not be uncomfortable for either of us.

>>17083856
After a girl cums, she stays horny.
If a dude cums, he needs to go through the whole process of getting it up again.

>>17083913
I DID IT!!!
SEE
>>17083915

>>17083915
Good for you.

We will see you back here depressed when she leaves.

>>17083924
Yeah that's it I guess.
Though oddly enough sometimes I get *close* to cumming and then randomly lose it, its the most frustrating shit.

>>17083930
Nahh. I'm pretty confident in myself as a person. I just don't know a thing about women and so I get nervous. Once a girl has time to know me, if she leaves me then, then that's simply because we aren't compatible. I'll pick up and move on.

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>>17083930
On second thought, I may have misread. Is she saying yes to the date or to the "in one of us visits the other's country" part?
I don't want to jump the gun here.

>>17083945
Sounds like she's saying "Yeah, of course" to the fact that it'd have to be if one of you visits. Then "let's see" to the date? Probably since she doesn't have a trip arranged yet.

>>17083963
Nice. The chances of us ever meeting are slim, so that's totally fine. I just wanted to be sure that she liked me back.
Obviously, again, it's a 1 in 1 million chance. But I wanted to be sure that 1 in 1 million was set in stone. Thanks.

>>17083652
women are just as capable as men, but it's socially acceptable for women to do less (stay-at-home moms, housewives, secretaries, etc.) and that might be a point of frustration for some people

>>17083803
communicate
>>17083839
it's not disgusting, just less appealing. kind of like how desserts on a restaurant menu look great until you finish your meal

>>17083945
>>17083963
>me right now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KX5jNnDMfxA
I don't even care; I feel like walking on sunshine right now

Girls, on a scale of 1-10, how fucked up is this?

I've got a crush on a girl I can't date, so I've been basically internet stalking her for a few months. I don't contact her or bother her in anyway, I just look for photos of her online. The sad truth is seeing a new picture of her smiling makes me happier than most other things in my life. I'm actively working to fill my life with distractions, but I'm not doing too good, honestly. I check her social media outlets every few hours, sometimes as the first thing I do when I wake up and the last when I go to sleep. It has gotten pretty bad, though I'm confident I'll cut this shit out once I get through this lonely spell.

>>17084053
Why can't you date her?

>>17084058
Oh god, I left out the worst part on purpose and you honed right in on it. I'm so easy to read. THIS ISNT THOUGH: When I first met her, I almost immediately asked her out on a date and she accepted, but I had to cancel when something came up. Instead of being a normal person and rescheduling, I just got really embarrassed and avoided her.

>>17084113
How long has it been? It might be possible to save.

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For the ladies, how important is it for a guy to own a car in college? I'm twenty and I'm always nervous as fuck about asking out a girl and picking her up in a different car every time because I'd need to borrow a family member's.

>>17084159
This probably isn't going to be useful for you. My school's in the middle of a city so most people use public transport. There's no space for people to park their own cars, if they drive at all.

To women:
Why are you so agreeable by default but become Machiavellian, narcissistic monsters when a man tries to date you?

>>17084159
I go to univereity where I didn't even need to bring my car. Costs too much for parking. More than what the car is worth. College kids don't need anything. They're supposed to be poor.

I'm on a coed sports club at my uni, wtf do you say when you've got your period(and it hurts a lot etc etc) and didn't come to practice and people/guys ask you where you were this week? I feel it could be tmi but I also suck at lying

>>17084177
Just say you weren't feeling very well.

ok, I know a lot of guys are insecure about dick size but have any girls had a boyfriend that was absolutely gargantuan like 10+?

is it really a big deal to be with a regular sized guy after that?

>>17084124
Too long, friend. Too long.

>>17084053
>>17084113
Who the fuck is this its not funny I'm having a panic attack rn.

>>17084201
I don't know, I'm a pretty forgiving and understanding person. I would hear you out. Maybe you should send her a card and flowers or send her a really nice message. Of she won't listen, it wasn't meant to be. If that is the case don't waste your time on her. Live your life and find someone else and learn from your mistakes. There are other girls...in fact we out number you :)

>>17083652
Well you are only superior only socially but not intelligently.

>>17084205
Just a stranger.

>>17084210
I've considered asking her out again, because honestly, even a no would be easier to deal with than the way I left things. And she's such a nice girl, the chance isn't even completely zero. But more than likely, I'll never speak to her again. I should have never missed my chance at that first date. She was kind enough to accept and I wasted it, so I won't bother her again. I can do that much now, at least.

I guess this regret every time I see a picture of her is my penance. I just wish I could stop looking at pictures of her.

Guys and girls, I'd like to hear any stories where, if you have, stayed with someone for their looks or a particular asset their body has even though the relationship wasn't healthy anymore and or they weren't such a great person, and what lesson did you learn from this?

Going through something similar now and it's actually even more difficult to get over than a normal breakup

is it weird to ask my boyfriend to fuck me more often? and how should I phrase it?

>>17084255
fuck me you faggot!

>>17084255
Tell him that he makes you really horny and you want to have sex more.

>>17084159
At twenty, is a bit a problem, but not a deal breaker. out of college if you don't have a car or some dedicated mode of transport, you will be avoided like the plague.

Girls,

Let's say you rejected a guy, using the "I'll have to see when I'm free" excuse or an "I'm Busy" excuse.

Is there an acceptable time for a guy to wait to try again? (You probably won't change your answer though?)

And, let's say you rejected him once, but he still talks to you, though more as a friend now. What would be your reasoning for being cold towards him, or avoiding eye contact?

>>17084170

That's really loaded and unfair, and you know it. We aren't evil geniuses. We do care MORE about you and your goals and where we fit with you when we date you, because we care about our futures with you. Other women aren't worried about that until you date.

Maybe it's an evolution thing. We want to make sure things are going to be good and stay good. The more unsure we are, and the more you mean to us, the more crazy it might get, depending on the insecurities of the girl.

But again, loaded question.

>>17084342

Society has trained women that in order to make a guy stop trying to pursue her after she has said no, she will usually try to follow her no with coldness or aloofness so that he gets the idea. It's not even that she wants to, usually, but that she has to.

Because if you're continuously kind to the person you rejected, even if you would genuinely like to be, guys take that as a sign that you might still be interested or that the guy might have a chance. Then guys get mad at you for sending mixed signals, or for friendzoning them, and even though you're trying to be nice because you still like the person, they get mad at you and call you a bitch for not wanting to jump on their dick.

It's a cold hard reality that as a female, if you're nice to a guy, and you just want to be friends, you can't get that close to him or that asshole will eventually fall in love with you and fuck it all up, and it will still be your fault.

>>17084254
I dated a handsome flirtacious guy in high school.

We started dating when I was 15, but broke up when I was 18.. He was very attractive, but his personality didn't really mix well with mine. I knew this from the start, but he was very adamant about dating me and I just kinda went with the flow because I had low self esteem, took what i could

He actually kinda played some mind game to get me to be with him. Like he'd act over jealous if he saw me talk to another guy that was even my friend. Then he said that he loved me before we even got together and even though I know he didn't mean it, it felt nice to hear.

I selfishly liked the way everyone said we were an attractive couple. I liked making other girls jealous of me if they wanted him. Being with him made me feel like a bad bitch for some reason. Made me feel over confident and too self assured for the reality of our relationship.

Our actual relationship outside of sex had no depth. I didn't know much about him personally. Our conversations were just about pop culture, music, video games, pot smoking, and underage drinking.

To make a long story short, I was so self assured that I had this beautiful boy on lock, that I did not realize he had cheated on me several times. And it was an embarrassing situation in which everyone had already known through the grapevine, and I was the last to find out. I had so many fights over him. Drama with girls especially, talking shit to me. Saying I was too ugly for him and they didn't know what he saw in me because I was very tomboyish and rough around the edges.

Little did I know, these shit talking girls were the ones he was cheating on me with.

After finding this out, I just spiraled into depression. I attempted suicide after we broke up, but only my family knows that. Just the rejection and embarrassment got me so hard. How much of an idiot I looked like. I basically just opted to graduate high school early and disappeared from his and those girls' lives.

>>17084363
My moral to this shit is people can be really pretty on the outside, and just full of air and shit on the inside. And also, when I notice red flags, take them seriously. Because I knew this guy and I weren't gonna work out in the beginning, but I still did it for fuck knows why.

I'm also not so vocal and outwardly confident about my relationships anymore. Just to save myself from looking like a fool if anything bad does happen.

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>>17084188
and I just want to mention that this question directly effects my life. I've been hanging out with a girl who has previously been BLACKED
her ex is a 6'4" gigga nigga and my dick is only 6.5 inches.

I just feel kind of insecure right now about it, like she isn't being honest if she says it's fine to spare my feelings

>>17084368
I second this. The pretty ones can be lots of trouble, and the small boost to your ego isn't worth the pretty but destructive moments where you are slowly torn down.

Don't be someone's security. I was with a guy who used to tell me how much he wanted to fuck my friends, or how lucky I was to have him because I wasn't as attractive as he was (though he didn't quite say it like that). And he was REALLY good looking. I let him get away with things I would never let other people get away with because he was as sexy as sin.

Had to cut contact suddenly and completely. Lost friends over it. Should have kept the friends-- they were a lot more worthwhile then the guy.

>>17083876
Depends; sometimes you'll get hard as a rock again seconds after and sometimes it takes ~20 minutes.

I met a group of girls that my friend (not really close with him) was with last week. After I met them a whole bunch of them followed me on social media. Today my friend texted me asking if I wanted to hang out with him and the girls this weekend. Should I take it that one of them is probably interested in me or am I just reading into it too much?

>>17083908
Good grooming is to women as sexy lingere is to men.

>>17084360
Its kinda odd with her though as there was little difference in her actions around me at first, I will would speak to her like normal and she would reply normally, but after one conversation she became cold for just one day, then he seemed to be back to normal, with her being slight friendlier than usual

>>17084398

Yup. This. A thousand times this. And it's so often overlooked that we're super excited to see it.

>>17084388
>>17084368
Guy here, my ex, an Italian girl and one of the most beautiful I've ever seen - let alone have been with - but was as damaged as a fucking 200 year old apple. More red flags than a fucking communist party, but I was so caught up in the sensationalism of having a "bad bitch" that I gave up on so much, sacrificed all the personal development I built after my devastating breakup just months before getting with her and yeah it's not even like we didn't get along, because we did, but getting along doesn't make up for all the bad shit they do, neither does good looks. the bad always outweighs the good, never forget this. I was stubborn to let her go because I thought she was "as good as it gets" and I didn't want to see her with someone else but, just know that they will eventually find their equal and they will be just as terrible as that person. The lesson I learned was a super important one and it was to let go of any potential gf prospect the moment I see a red flag, especially a huge one. Relationships are too much of a fucking emotional roller coaster to not be with someone who isn't in their right mind.

>>17084403
You're reading too much into something that might not have anything to do with you. There are always outside influences you can't predict. Leave what is happen naturally and without force.

Be one with the Dao, and the Dao will be one with you.

>>17084421
I guess I'll just be friendly with her and let this run its course.

>>17084371

I was with a large guy, and honestly, it wasn't my cup of tea. It was a ego boost to be with a large guy at first, but honestly, it took a lot for him to keep it up and it was mostly just uncomfortable, and he didn't have a good personality to make up for it.

I actually prefer smaller guys. because they get creative, they laugh at themselves and they try a little harder to have fun with you. Big guys think that they don't have to have any skill, and that's no fun at all.

>>17084396
Reading into it too much.

>>17083839
Jerking it to porn is wildly differnt from sex. Masturbtion is shameful and sad and mostly done out of loneliness so once it's done you sit there with the reality of it. Sex, casual or intimate, doesn't necessarily cause us to lose interest with the person as a whole, it could be too draining for a man so he seems uninterested when he's really exhausted

>>17084407
>>17084398
Good grooming how? I'm usually pretty well-kept. I trim my beard and wear aftershave that she likes, what else is there to do really?

>>17084360
>she will usually try to follow her no with coldness or aloofness so that he gets the idea. It's not even that she wants to, usually, but that she has to.
>Because if you're continuously kind to the person you rejected, even if you would genuinely like to be, guys take that as a sign that you might still be interested or that the guy might have a chance. T
Can confirm, I've done both sides. Where I didn't, and the guy got confused (he said to my friend, "she said she doesn't want to date me, but she's always smiling at me and laughing at my jokes!") and I've done the other thing where I got cold.

>>17084403
That makes perfect sense. Since if the coldness is an attempt to show you she's not interested, it means it's not what she'd naturally do with you. So she's gonna slip up and forget every so often.

>>17083908
>She likes when I dress up in a suit and I've done that a few times, but I feel like that will get old and sometimes it's a bit of a hassle
I suggest business casual. Collared shirt, slacks, and nice shoes are such a step up from tshirt, jeans, and sneakers.

>>17083868
I don't know why it would come up, but if it does, you can always explain yourself like you did here.

I can't say the reaction a regular girl would have, since I'm into age gaps myself.

Guys: and girls if you want,
Does sitting in a private hottub naked on sunset with some drinks sound romantic or cheesey?
Going on a little vacation and i booked a hotel for my boyfriend and I for only that reason.

>>17083825
Christ, where can I find you? You're perfect.

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Girls how do feel about receiving a love letter or a good bye letter?

I've been fighting whether or not to send this girl a letter admitting my feelings in order to stop feeling like shit after she cut me off. It's stupid I know but what would your thoughts be on receiving a letter in general and would any of you like to see what I wrote? I'll post the pastebin of it in a minute

>>17084560
if I had a girlfriend I would be happy she just wants to spend time with me

I feel really silly asking this question, but I need to because I respect other people's boundaries/am really unfamiliar with romance.

How do you make a move on someone? Is it ok to just kiss someone and they'll let you know if they don't want it?

>Asked a girl out because she was awesome
>We got on 2 dates and she says she doesn't want a relationship
>Continue to hang out, get a lot cloer
>Get drunk af at party, blackout
>Come to to her and I alone in a room
>She kisses me on the cheek, then we start making out
>Continue to make out for the entirety of the party (1.5 hours)

Is it ok to initiate and hug/kiss her and then back down if she rejects? I'm sorry, these questions feel so stupid but I really don't know.

>>17083685
This was so painful for me, friend. Feeling safe around a guy is usually my first feeling into feeling romantic about him. I will not proceed unless I do have that feeling. It's vital. Romantic life is very vulnerable and dangerous for women. Safe is good and required.

But now you know, I suppose. Let's spread the new information.

>>17084560
Romantic.

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>>17084566
Just BEE you're self!

>>17084572
Wait, so you made out with her and now you're asking if you can hug her?

I'd suggest telling her you had a whole lot of fun with her that night. If she responds enthusiastically, you're in! If she's hesitant, that's a bad sign. She might take the opportunity to say "I was drunk and it was a mistake" which is good info.

>>17084526

We're mainly talking about your dick.

We want anything we might but in our mouths or pussies to be extremely clean. Pull out excess pubes, trim, or shave completely depending on your lady's preference.

your finger nails also need to be extremely short and clean. Teeth as well. Anything you want to insert in us, or anything you'd like us to lick and or bite needs to be sparkling.

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>>17084566
Here's the link: http://pastebin.com/SmVAnW2B
Think I sort of fucked it up compared to the earlier draft which I might also post if asked

While with a friend, this guy my friend's friends with came up to walk with us and started talking to me. He knew my name from something else that happened a monthish ago (I guess I introduced myself, I'm pretty bad with names and faces). After, we chatted for a bit and he asked what I was doing later and asked a few times if I was going to the meeting they were walking to.

.....was he flirting with me? This stuff usually flies right by me so I've been trying to work on it. I don't want to read into it.

Mostly, how do I tell if someone's flirting with me?

>>17084609
Probably. At the very least he wanted to spend time with you.

>>17083652
>Do guys here (well I know typically on 4chan they do) really see females as less capable?
To a degree, yes. Or rather they can fuck up more. Just using my engineering course for an example, the men that couldnt handle it were forced to drop out. A significant number of the incompetent women started mooching off of the more socially awkward but book smart guys, which really hurt my respect for those individuals. Both parties involved, really.

That said, I still had full respect for the women who could handle their own issues. One of the women I'm friends I particularly respect, she was one of the sharper people in my class, is in a healthy marriage, and had a child a few months ago.

It has now happened twice that i initiated morning sex and we had to stop mid-sex cause it was taking the bf too long to cum and we where running late. What could be the reason? Was he stressed cause we had to get up or is it generally a bad idea to just start morning sex. I mean, could be he had to pee Or something.

>>17084673
I garenteed he loves it. Try it on the weekend.

>>17084673
There's nothing wrong with morning sex. Just talk to him, he may very well be stressed or he may not be a morning person. You will never find out unless you chat him up though.

>>17084605
>>17084566
God I'm having so many headaches and feelings of frustration going through right now. Can someone tell me their thoughts on the letter and help me fix it?

>>17084678
Well, i'd definitely try again on a day we can sleep in, like >>17084674
Suggested.
But if it happens again, i'd chat him up about it. Thanks anons!

So, is it really annoying to see someone youre interested in, and this someone has shown signs of interest, walk past you with an incomplete attempt to make conversation?
OR
Youre interesred in someone, they show interest but you cant read signs because youre dumb and never dated/purposely flirted with anyone so youre not even sure of what to do if they were interested. And what would i even do if they were interested. Fuck talking about myself, i dont know who i am, and i cant talk about my interests comfortably without feeling like i sound pretentious

>>17084551
Not a bad idea anon. Guess I'll need to get in gear with the weightloss. My collared shirts just make me look chunkier.

>>17084599
Interesting. Thanks.

>>17084560
Sounds great

When measuring how big your dick is where do you start measuring the lenght and where on it do you measure the girth?

>>17084560
bump

Guys:
Is it a good idea to watch gay porn to learn more about giving good head and the like? I figured that they know what feels good so it must be nxt lvl compared to straight bj's.

>>17084723
>length
at the top without pushing into your body
>girth
at the thickest part of the shaft
>>17084734
what the fuck

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>>17084734
There's some blowjob tutorial videos (I reccomed Lulu Love's if you can find the full version) but these two guides are solid.

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>>17084742

Should I be worried?

I visited home last week, took a shower upstairs and while I was still wearing a towel wrapped around me went to my room. I bumped into my dad outside the bathroom door(stairs are right outside it) and his eyes looked down at my chest? Very Quickly, perhaps involuntarily, before looking back to my face and telling me to go get dressed so i did.I didn't expect to run into my dad upstairs, 95% time he is downstairs.

My dad never abused me or anything at all, we have a good relationship but idk if I should be wary. I have been 'groomed' before by a family friend who is now in jail.

>>17084741
Why is this wtf? If you have a dick, you obviously can relate to what feels awesome a lot better than if you never had a cock. So gay bj's must be the bees knees

>>17083652
Growing up I knew many guys who were a lot more intelligent than me but few girls who were so I tend to think of intelligent people as mostly being men. Capable is a lot more broad though, and I seem to find more capable women these days (or at least more mature). Guys just don't give a fuck anymore, not that I blame them.

>>17084749
My guess was that it was involuntary, dont think too hard about it

>>17084749
Jesus Christ you sound so paranoid. It's your father.

>>17084762
>>17084769
Thanks. I will trust my dad then. The family friend was my sports coach for years, and my parents loved him, and all was well until it came out he'd raped 2 of his 12 yr old students and was 'in a relationship' with another, so you can see why I am a bit paranoid.

>>17084777
As your dad he's probably not even capable of thinking about you in a sexual manner. Totally different to a non-relative. I sometimes catch my mum glancing at my junk too but I'm 100% sure she's not interested in me.

Asked a girl who had been flirting with me if she actually had feelings for me after all we have been talking for 3 months, she replies "I just don't know" Should I drop her?

>>17084749
Most men literally can't stop themselves from reflexively glancing at breasts wherever they're encountered. Pubescent girls, grannies, strangers, your mother, fictional drawings - it doesn't matter.

>>17084804
Ask her out you ninny. don't put her on the fucking spot like that. Who even asks people if they have feelings? Are you autistic jesus christ

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I'm the anon from the previous thread, where I posted about how the girl I got a crush on invited me to watch a movie with her in her room, and how later in the evening, she started basically flirting with my room-mate.

Would it be too soon to ask her out today, or should I just forget it and give up? I feel fucking horrible from yesterday, and I dunno if I have the energy to continue with this ambiguous bullshit.

>>17084811
I have before, I feel like she is just using me though. I asked her out before and she said she wants to take it slow, but I have the gut feeling she is seeing other guys in the meantime.

>>17084818
I'd just go for it. Worst case scenario she says no. I can't stand that ambiguous crap myself, and would rather walk away from the situation than pretend its normal.

>>17084804
Gotta be straight up with asking her out

If she has feelings she'll let you know

>>17084829
I see your point.
Still, yesterday has pretty much destroyed my self esteem in regards to this shit. I don't understand why she would act the way she did, unless she simply isn't interested in me.

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I explained to this girl who I've been friends with for a while that I like her and she said she's more comfortable with me than other guys but she's not sure she's able to commit to something more with me or any guy for that matter. I said I was cool being friends still. We still hang out pretty frequently with a crew of people and she's always flirting with the other guys as well as me. Just tonight a guy she used to date was hanging with us and she was flirting with him pretty heavily. I wish I could be cool and understand people flirt but seeing her flirt with others really gets to me. I like this girl a lot and I want it to work but it's probably best to get out of this situation huh? All I can see is hurt in the future

I went from forever-alone to basically having a girlfriend in 48 hours. I am 21, a virgin, autistic and have very low self esteem. This girl is quiet, introverted and extremely intelligent and spends a lot of time in her head, more than I do possibly.

I feel like I'm hopelessly out of my depth but I think I love her, I don't know what to do

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FUGLUGLE GIRZLS
What does she meannn????

>>17084947
She's also probably a sperg and you'll either do fine with each other or crash and burn horribly, congrats.

>>17084977
Literally exactly what she said. What dont you understand

>>17084991
Why she fucking messages me every day when I'm so fucking autistic.
And shes so fucking hott

>>17084995
>>17084995
You cant be this slow.
Obviously she is interested. Hur dur

>>17084998
You don't know me.
I need someone to decipher this or I might ask her for some fuc.
Then she might stab me then tell my parents.

Girls:
How extremely do you notice a difference in your libido during your cycle? I'm ovulating atm and i'm insatiably horny. I mean, i already had sex this morning and masturbated trice. It's only 10am now... Is this normal?

>>17085015
She wants to travel with you. She said that in her fucking message.

>>17085022
thanks

>>17085021
I am the same. I'm generally honry all the time though. It definitely increases at different parts of my cycle, so to me itd normal

>>17084986
I'm terrified. Texting her is a nightmare because she can get really deep and I am not used to being deep with someone like her. Last night felt like a special forces selection interview.

You may be right though. When she told me she liked me, she did so via text message. My friend who was in the room with her at the time said she was constantly whispering with her friend stuff like "Well I don't want to say no" and her friend was saying stuff like "I guess he still likes you then" - that kind of shit.

>>17085021
I am way hornier when I'm ovulating and when I'm on my period. Toootally normal.

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>>17084818
>>17084864
I can't get over this god damn thing. I feel so fucking horrible about it. I thought that we had had fun together, watching a movie, playing games and just generally hung out together, just by the two of us, but the moment my room-mate showed up in the common room, she instantly focused all her attention to him, going as far as moving from siting next to me, to sit next to him. She even placed her legs on his legs, which sort of physical contact she has never initiated with me.
It made me feel like a total third wheel in the situation, and hurt me so fucking much.

I don't understand. Why would she agree to spend time with me, go out with me, and generally spend so much free time with me, only to snub me off the moment my room mate shows up.

These emotions are making me hate myself, hate my room mate, and hate her. God fucking dammit, what the fuck should I do? I am on the verge of bursting into tears.

>>17085037
Move on

>>17083640
"I know I don't have to, I want to."
You're welcome.

>>17085037
Why haven't you asked her out yet? Either she likes you, or she doesn't! It"s as simple as tnat

>>17085040
How, she fucking lives in the same apartment complex as I, and I see her daily.
And I still don't fucking understand her behavior at all. All this shit has taught me, is to never let myself develop feelings for anyone ever again, as it will only hurt me.

I feel like this has been asked a million times but how much of an excuse do you need to try to talk to a stranger? I have a dumb crush on this girl I always see when I leave my 10 am class.

>>17085046
Oh my god you're insufferable, fucking ask her out and find your balls

>>17085021
I always knew women entered heat like dogs
Take that internet

>>17085045
I have asked her out.
We have been out together a bunch of times already, twice to the movies, and a couple of other times just to hang out in the city.
If she had flat out rejected me, I wouldn't have this problem, but she keeps agreeing to spending time with me, and eve invites me to spend time with her. She was the one who asked me to come watch a movie with her. It wasn't my idea.

>>17085053
See>>17085055

>>17085055
Did you call it a date? Make it clear to her you want to be more than friends

>>17085046
Sounds like a drastic overreaction to some girl being loose, bud.
>>17085048
If you like her then talk to her, but make sure shes actually interested in the conversation and not just being polite

how to deal with a girl that has BPD/Bipolar ?

she says she loves me but that we can't be together because she'll just hurt me, but i want to help her

>>17085063
Either cut her out of your life or tell her you want to be with her and thats final.
Enter at your own risk though

>>17085060
I haven't explicitly called them dates. I wouldn't know where to take her on a date. I have asked her out to spend time with me, because I enjoy her company, and want to know her better, and without the context of a date, it is more relaxed.
I got zero fucking clue how date even differs from just hanging out, so I wouldn't know what to do on a date.

And how do I make it clear that I want to be more than just friends, without telling her that I like her?

>>17085061
Call it an overreaction all you want. I was fine with being forever alone before I met her. At least that attitude kept me from being hurt like this before. I actually wish that I had never developed these feelings for her, as they are making my life so fucking difficult right now.
I can't focus on my studies, or hobbies, because of my constant anxiety over this shit.

>>17085071
>How do I make it clear that I want to be more than just friends without tellibg her that I like her

Tell her that you like her and want to be more than just friends, then ask if she wants to go do something you know she would like but call it "a date" - it's a hang out but officially romantic

>>17085076
But you fuckers have repeatedly told me that telling her that I like her is a bad fucking idea, and that I shouldn't do that!
That advice is why I haven't told her my feelings yet.

>>17085078
>But you fuckers have repeatedly told me that telling her that I like her is a bad fucking idea, and that I shouldn't do that!
This website has a lot of people, with different opinions. You're going to have to sift through advice and use your brain.

I think part of why people may give you conflicting advice though, is because people often conflate expressing interest with some gaudy professing of love. Maybe they were assuming you were going to do something like that?

>>17085080
How am I supposed to know what advice is good in regards to this subject, when I got zero fucking knowledge about this subject in the first place?
And no, I never intended to give her some "gaudy professing of love".
At most, I was thinking of telling her something along the lines of "I think I may have a crush on you" or something like that. Maybe ad in the fact that this is literally the first time I am having this sort of emotions, so I don't fucking know what is happening.

>>17085091
Either make a move, but we all know you're too much of a pussy to do it, or ask her on a date making it explicit it is a date.

Or just go and tell her you have a crush on her, at this point, who cares.

Also - stop coming here to ask for advice. We always say the same things and you never do what we say. We became your blog. Just stop.

>>17085100
But I have fucking followed your advice, even useless shit like "maek a move", to the best of my ability.
And no, I'll keep posting here just to spite you, you cunt.

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>>17085091
>How am I supposed to know what advice is good in regards to this subject, when I got zero fucking knowledge about this subject in the first place?
You're going to have to use some logic. I understand being frustrated, but there will never be some step by step guide. At best people can just give you their own experiences to cross reference.

>At most, I was thinking of telling her something along the lines of "I think I may have a crush on you" or something like that. Maybe ad in the fact that this is literally the first time I am having this sort of emotions, so I don't fucking know what is happening.
Then I would just tell her so, and ask her out on a date. The particulars don't really matter, just as long as it's something both of you would enjoy. However that's just how I'd approach the situation, I prefer directness while others seem to prefer some ambiguous flirting game.

>>17085106
>I prefer directness

Same here.
Unfortunately, in the past threads, I seem to have only gotten advice from fuckers who prefer the "ambiguous flirting game" which sucks for me, seeing how I don't even really know what flirting is, or how to do it.
If I hadn't listened to the advice of those fucks, I would have already told her that I got a crush on her.

And then cunts like this>>17085100 have the audacity to claim that I don' fucking listen to them.

>>17085111
Declaring your love or attraction to someone is just a way to make them responsible of whatever comes next and it doesn't work with girls, if they're not extremely into you. Which is why we said MANY times to not do it.
Guys are traditionally supposed to be the leading ones at the beginning of the relationship, and you could do it either by making a move or by asking her on a date.
If you want to declare your feelings do it, but you sound weak (even the "I think I have a crush on you" thing sounds incredibly insecure) and it makes you less appealing.

It's not because I am a cunt, it's because you're not listening and you keep doing the same things with her expecting different outcomes. Which just doesn't happen.
You can't sit there next to her and magically get in a relationship with her. You have to do something. If you're too much of a pussy do to something, keep suffering but don't bother people with your pain.

Do women care if you're a grower and not a shower? My dick is a slightly above par ~6.5" at full mast and works just fine (t-t-thanks, /fit/) but it shrinks down to a 2" stub or so when not in use (even less when it's cold) and I'm a bit insecure about that.

>>17085127
Some women probably do, if just because of ignorance. I remember a girl I was seeing was surprised my dick practically doubles in length, and it's not like she was some chaste girl.

Is it normal for every guy at a workplace to hit on a girl?

This girl I like is pretty much average looking and according to her, all the married guys at work hit on her. I also noticed like five or six guys commenting on each of her FB posts. She's just an average girl in every aspect. Are they seriously getting hit on constantly by everyone?

>>17085126
>You have to do something
Like what, grope her like you fucks have suggested? Because that is what making a move basically seems to boil down to, with that whole, "gradually figure out where she allows you to touch her without calling you a perv" shit. It seems incredibly fucking creepy to me, and I felt like a creep when I tried to do that whole shit by touching her leg.

And I am insecure, and weak. I got no fucking clue of how to deal with these emotions, and your shit advice isn't helping one fucking bit

>>17085127
No, I don't really care.
Also - at the beginning of the relationship if you're naked, you're most likely hard. And after a while you care about the person and his dick isn't important at all.

>>17085131
have you ever been outside in your entire life?

>>17085133
Anon that's what most people do - getting more physically intimate. Which doesn't mean "groping her" but caressing her, hugging her, hold her hand, kiss her, etc. and get more intimate when you figure she likes it and she's comfortable with it.
Literally every guy I've been with did so. It isn't creepy at all if you stop when she's uncomfortable.

You can ask her out if you're uncomfortable with the physical stuff, but make it clear it is a date and don't go "I think I might have a crush on you". Just say "Can we go on a date next Friday? We could go to the natural history museum".

Being insecure and weak is unappealing. All girls, pretty much, love feeling safe with their partners. You have to work on yourself.

>>17084540
Still kinda odd as the single day of coldness is the outlier. I suppose it is possible that she was just having a shitty day for, some reason. Every other say was normal otherwise.

Would a guy ask out a girl who had no friends

>>17083430
>I like someone. What do I do?
>Ask them out.
But what if I'm really unattractive, and there's no point, and also they work at a place that I need to go to?

>>17085162
Work on yourself, become more attractive, and then ask them out.
Worst that could possibly ever happen, is that you get rejected and then move on.

How long does it take for girls to be disinterested with guys that very rarely communicate to them through text?

Also, would you like it if a guy asks you out literally just a day before the date?

t. has no texting skills

>>17085165
Maybe you should try giving out real advice next time, instead of these bullshit platitudes.

>>17085172
Well, dating is not rocket science, best way to end up in a relationship with someone is asking them out on a date.
If you feel like you're not enough for them, you either better yourself till you feel "enough" or move on.

>>17085146
I know that is what most people fucking do. Most people also have had experiences with this shit during their teens. I am not like most people in that regard. I have never even fucking held hands with a girl, or in general touched a girl ever before. I don't fucking know how to proceed or what to do, without being creepy.

> and get more intimate when you figure she likes it and she's comfortable with it.
HOW do I figure if she is comfortable with my advances? Fucking how? I have held my hand on her leg a few times, given her few playful punches on her shoulder etc, but at no point, did I have any clue if she was ok with that shit at all.
If anything, I think she didn't like that shit, seeing how she didn't reciprocate it at all. Also, the way she initiated physical contact with my room mate (by putting her legs atop of his legs) completely out of the blue, something she has never done with me, makes me think that she does not like me.
I wouldn't blame her for not liking me, what I dislike, is her not fucking saying it to my face, and instead continuing to spend time with me, asking me to come watch movies with her, inviting me to her room etc. I keep investing my free time to being in her company, and for what? To see her give all her attention to my room mate who just came to cook some food for himself in the common room of the apartment complex? It hurts me so fucking bad.

I am, insecure and weak because of these fucking feelings. They make me feel like utter shit, worthless, and super fucking anxious, because I got no fucking clue of what to do, and how to handle them.

I wonder if I should just start ignoring her. It could hopefully hurt her as much as her behavior yesterday hurt me. Though, on the other hand, if she doesn't actually like me, me ignoring her from now on probably wouldn't even matter to her

is $250 a good price for wii u with skyward sword wii remote and nunchuk?

>>17085166
It depends. Do you show interest otherwise? Are you a know slow texter? Do you text back fast if immediate answer is needed? If a guy would only text back occasionally (always more than a day for an answer) and also not make a move otherwise i'd assume he's not interested and move on after about two weeks.

Meh, it depends on the guy. If i'm really eager for that date and have time i wouldn't mind. But that only applies for dates with guys i already know.

>>17085182
It's a fair price, considering brand new Wii Us and a game go for a little over $300, and they don't come with a Wii remote and nunchuck.

>>17085091
Anon, I'm 21 and was in your exact position this year. First love and all that. Be direct with her because you have no choice. She may even be trying to get you jealous to escalate things. Just tell her "Listen, I really like you and I want to be more than just friends, do you wanna go *insertsomethingshelikeshere*?"

Don't worry, you're going to get through this. Everyone had to learn somewhere. I still have no fucking idea what I'm doing.

>>17085188
thanks!

Is it a problem if a girl has an enlarged clit?

>>17085209
How enlarged? Does it look like a small penis? Or worse, does it look like a large penis?

>>17085197
>Don't worry, you're going to get through this.
Doubtful.
Knowing myself, I will probably regress back into my depression if I get rejected.

In any case, I guess I have no choice either way. I can't stand this ambiguity. It torments me. If she rejects me, then that just shows me my folly of developing feelings for someone, and allowing myself to think that someone might actually like me.

>>17085211
enlarged enough to be clearly visible but not enough to resemble a penis

>>17085187
The thing is, neither of us has texted each other for about four days now. I've never been active in texting and I know jack shit about her texting habits, so this might just be normal or the road to a sinking ship.

Also, text or call?

>>17085217
Yeah, no contact for 4 days doesn't sound like this is it to be blunt.

I'm more comfortable with text. But i'm awkward af with calls so take that with a grain of salt

>>17083652
In much of the world, men are shown to have a higher variance in intelligence. Not by much, but it means a majority of really intelligent and really stupid people will statistically be male. At least in regards to maths and similar measures of intelligences. Not a reason to denounce females as lesser, though, as with a smaller variance they can generally be expected to produce more reliable results. Whilst I don't think many judge people consciously based on such statistics, they do go part of the way in explaining why many stem fields etc. are male dominated, which in turn probably creates a bias.

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>>17085209
Probably not? I mean women who take steroids start getting a micro dick thing going on but I don't see it being a particular issue otherwise.

>>17085157
I don't see it being a dealbreaker but I'd probably encourage her to go out and join some clubs or something.

>>17085224
Alright, cool. Thanks for the thoughts!

>>17085212
I was in that mindset for about 3 months after I got rejected, everyone on 4chan and reddit was telling me "Move on bro" and "You will never be with this girl" and shit, then the day before yesterday she texts me and tells me she really likes me, things get deep and it would appear we are "going out", according to her, though we haven't been on a date yet.

>>17085378
Not the guy you are replying to bit I kinda hope this is the case for me as well

I'm this guy
>>17084342

>>17085387
I think the best way of handling it is to not approach her again. If she changes her mind, she will ask. She knows you like her. Let her come to you

>>17085396
True. I guess just remain friendly and see where it goes?

>>17085378
The thing is that she hasn't outright rejected me. She keeps spending time with me, and asking me to do stuff like play board games and watch movies with her. However, whenever my roommate happens to come across us, be it just him coming to cook some food in the common room, she immediately focuses all her attention on him, despite him barely even spending time with her. It makes me feel so fucking bad. I don't understand her behavior at all.

>>17085209
Probably, could be a shedude on hormones therefore the principle of the matter is actually that said shedude is not even female. Sorry op rephrase your question its incorrect

>>17085423
>>17085178
If not give advice for what I should do, could someone at least help me make sense of her behavior?
I don't understand why she acts the way she does. Does she even know how much pain and confusion her behavior causes to me?

>>17085497
Mate, stop obsessing about her behaviour and why she's doing what 's doing. She obviously likes you, exactly how much and to what extent is unclear. The only way to find out is to be direct and just ask her. In the meantime just try to stay cool

>>17085450
If its a shedude you'd know it before attempting to fuck themIs the clit itself a priblem? Like the girl used to have medical issues.

Say, you had a female friend who liked you after you were fwb. She's hot and you like her. But you dont want to date her because she doesn't have her life together so you reject her but want to stay friends.
How likely it is the dating/fucking stuff is going to come up again? Is it wise to still hang out?

>>17085522
>She obviously likes you,
Based on what? Just because she keeps spending time with me?

And it is easier said than done to stay cool. I am anxious as fuck about this bullshit.

>>17085216
you are fine.

>>17085541
You're anxious because you love her, which is a pretty confusing feeling in itself, and you're not used to feeling like that anyway so no wonder you're finding it hard to cope. Try to take a deep breath because the more anxious you get, the more uncomfortable she will get and you won't get what you want.

The simple fact that she is spending tine with you means she likes you and feels comfortable with you and seems to want to be your friend at the very least. There's nothing more we can say until you ask her

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>>17085553
Ask her what?
To come to a date with me?

Besides, I doubt she likes me that much, seeing how she has never acted the way she did towards my room mate, towards me.
I don't catch her instant, continuous attention the moment I step into the room, nor does she talk to me the way she did towards my room mate, or initiate physical contact with me.

>>17085525
Honestly i am just one person and unbelievably 'politically incorrect' therefore i dont speak on behalf of the typical majority when i say its probably a highly evolved roastie. Scientifically it naturally occurs due to some sort of hormone imbalance, not sure if its permanent because female body builders on steroids eventually develop one.

Personally i find enlarged clits to be repulsive, its aesthetically displeasing to the eye and not very feminine at all so much so that a trap has a more attractive vagina and they dont even actually have one.

>>17085558
God dam, just a moment ago, when I went to the common room, she was there, and she didn't even greet me.

>>17085569
Just stop. Fucking hell. Find a different girl and just ignore her from now on.

>>17083839
Porn is weird as fuck if you aren't horny.

>>17085558
I have gone through a lot of the same emotions you have and I want to talk to you. You're in a bad place, maybe I can help. Is there a way we can do that

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>>17085574
>find a different girl
Easy for you to say. The fact that I even developed feelings for this girl was once in thousand occurrence.
God damn I am not good with girls, and this shit just showed me that letting yourself develop feelings for them just ends up hurting you.

For fuck's sake, I tried to go to chat with her a bit, and she barely just acknowledged me, and then moved to sit further away from me. I don't know what I did wrong, or why she acts this fucking way.

I'll be alone for the rest of my (probably rather short) life, rather than let myself be hurt this way ever again.

>>17085579
I don't know, nor do I really give a shit.

>>17085591
Or you can grow up and stop acting like a faggot. There's an alternative for you.

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>>17085595
Great advice you got there.

>>17085535
pls respond
Would you go for a girl you rejected already if yo stayed friends?

>>17085591
>I don't know, nor do I really give a shit

Mate, you're toxic, that's why you won't be with her. Until you grow up and get over yourself you're going to be alone.

>>17085657
What a bunch of non advice.
Toxic how? What does that even fucking mean?
I feel like shit right now, the last thing I want is to start blabbering about this shit to some total stranger.

>grow up and get over yourself
Yeah, why won't I put on my grown up pants, and start pretending like I am not immensely hurt right now. Men can't be hurt after all, as we have no feelings.

>>17085686
You gonna cry?

>>17085609
Nah. There's a reason why you were rejected and most likely, that reason will get you rejected again.

>>17085686
Seeing your posts make me feel so much better about myself. I thought I was autistic with some of the shit I posted here when I had serious feels but you really take the cake

>>17085686
I have not said anything to you. But all I gotta say is to ask her out, and make sure it is known that it is as a date. Her actions indicate that she may be interested. Obviously can't say for sure as I am not in her head.

>>17085692
The reason was not having the shit together. Reasons change.
I guess I'm in love and I don't want to go through this again if they gonna want to fuck.

>>17085689
Probably at some point.
So?

>>17085695
Well congratulations to you.

>>17085696
Seeing how she basically did her best to ignore me just a few moments ago, I doubt she is actually interested in me.

>>17085686
>The last thing I want is to start blabbing this shit to a total stranger

And yet you're blabbering to all of us in this thread. Offer still stands bro, take it or leave it

>>17085701
^So, is there a way you'd be retarded enough to hit on the same girl you rejected and try to score some fuck?
Is it safe to be friends with someone I fell in love with? I don't want to lose him.

>>17085713
Anonymously, to a bunch of anonymous fuckers.

Girls: Would you date a guy who has or has had depression? And a guy who currently sees a therapist/psychologist? And if "yes" is it because you are interested in psychology? Thanks.

>>17085720
I might. I'd give it a try. But I have some issues as well so I'm not looking for anything serious anyway - might not be the best idea.

>>17085702
The fact that she ignored you can indicate either. Maybe she is coming around to the idea that she is interested and is just nervous about it.

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Anyones input appreciated


>Talking to a woman, all is good she's calling me cute names and shit
>I tell her to come for a walk to show her something
>she says 'alright'
>Tell her I'm busy ask her if she's really down for it because I forgot I had work
>No reply but I got the conversation moving again

Since then she's been texting without emojis and being abit distant. I just wanted to see if she really wanted to or was just being polite..

Did I fuck up?

>>17085720
Yes, but I'd date a guy who has or has had depression only if he was feeling good enough to be in a healthy relationship, and if he's working on himself.
I guess that being in therapy would be good.
I'm not particularly interested in psychology, anyway.

>>17085727
That's what I call hopeful thinking.
She didn't even fucking greet me when I entered the common room.
I bet she greeted my room mate.

God damn these fucking emotions are causing me to hate my room mate, despite him not really even doing anything. He hasn't actively sought to spend time with her like I am, even yesterday, he just came to cook some food.
But for some reason, she focuses all her attention to him whenever he is around, which makes me feel absolutely horrible.

So I had coffee with a girl a few hours ago and we had a pretty good time, but she mentioned she has a boyfirend a couple of times. On the flip side she suggested maybe we should have some coffee at my place some time.

Anyone have any experience with these kinds of situations? Should I make a move? Is it a bad idea?

Should I trust a guy who doesn't want to add me as a friend on facebook and doesn't want me to have his phone number after two months? I asked that should I worry about these things and he said no since he uses facebook only like once a week and we don't need to change phone numbers cause we can chat on twitter. He doesn't want me to visit his place but he lives with his mother and brother but said the reason he doesn't want me there is that he would have to clean up the place. He seems a bit inexperienced with real relationships.
Still, I've been lied to before and I think that the guy wants me to be his girlfriend soon. I don't want to be cheated on again.
So should I trust his reasons for these things and stop worrying?

>>17085734
Just ask her out. If she says no, then its no. But she may say yes aswell. 70/30 Odds, favoring Yes.


Only way to know is to ask her out

>>17085716
We'd still be anonymous.

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How come I'm almost exclusively attracted to white women? I like other races as well if they have white features. My friend was dating a hispanic girl and hands down most of the time she was the hottest girl in the room, but she looked white italian.

The thing is I find this problematic, because white women are all about interracial dating/fucking now a days and I feel kind of unwanted by my race. I just dont feel the attraction to other races of women, i do know they are hot and its undeniable.

Im just confused here and don't know what to do.

Im a straight fit white male who is finishing a college degree and socioeconomically grew up in the upper middle class of america.

>>17085739
I don't see why he shouldn't give you his number. I do get his hesitation of visiting his place when he still lives together with family, might seem like a big step for him. Have you been dating for two months or what?

>>17085742
We have been out together a bunch of times already. Not exactly on dates, but just casually hung out, and even then I had hard time figuring out where to take her.
I can't fucking deal with this fucking shit.
I wish that I could tear out the parts of my brain which cause these god damn cancerous feelings in me. I hate them so fucking much.

>>17085748
Like I said, ask her out and make it known that its a date. Don't think, Just Do

Ok, first time a girl asked me out, i told her I wanted to get to know her better. I get this message last night:

>"Okay I'm sorry but I just need you to clarify something for me. How do you want to get to know each other better, like what do you want to know about me? Do you want my deepest darkest secrets? You keep people at an arms length, what don't you tell people about yourself? I know you said you didn't want to make things too deep but we know the lighthearted stuff about each other anyway?"

I think I handled it alright, we are now "going out" according to her, but what do you guys think in general?

>>17085745
It is a preference. People have them.
I have never, ever liked someone who wasn't white. Usually the paler, the better.
It's not something that uncommon.

>>17085752
I can't stop thinking.
And got no clue where to ask her.
And she probably doesn't even fucking want anything do with me.

>>17085730
Anyone?

>>17085755
I should have added I prefer to hear from non white males. As all my friends are white males and feel almost exactly the same as i do.

>>17085746
Yeah dating but not exclusive although we both have said we don't see anyone else. I have to add, he opened up to me couple days ago and told me that he is afraid that I will get bored of him like all the other girls.
My ex who cheated on me since the day 1 added me on facebook right away so that really isn't a clear sign of a bad person. Would I be stupid if I just trusted this guy? And if he is a cheater then I'd just walk away with one more experience knowing that if a guy doesn't add you on facebook and doesn't wanna give his number, then he is a cheater.

>>17085762
I am a white woman.
And white girls usually prefer white guys.

>>17085754
Ask her out on a date and find out if you like her or not during the date, that's what first dates are for.

>>17085715
anyone?

>>17085756
I am wondering, if I should just go knock on her door, and ask if she wants to come watch a movie or something.
But then again, I don't want to face her in the mental state I am in. God fucking dammit, why does this shit have to hurt so much?

>>17085799
You're having a crush, not brain cancer.

Get up, ask her out on a date (SAY IT IS A DATE). The place doesn't matter, it's just to stay together.

STOP MAKING EXCUSES. Come back when you'll have the balls to do something about your situation.

>>17085803
I can't ask her on a date in this state.
I am on the verge of fucking crying.

Guess this question goes for both genders, but I'll direct it towards girls, I've heard of stories where people have judged others for being bad at kissing, I've never really thought about it much before until I heard of these stories. So my question is... How do you make out successfully or can I just avoid it?

It's an alien topic for me because I'd have no idea what to do. Just throw your tongue in there and hope for the best?

I got a question ladies.

Short back story: 10/10 from work adds me on Facebook. She messages me first. We chat. Quickly find out we are heavily alike. Turns flirtatious. (She likes sports) So we go and shoot hoops. Fast forward a couple of days with tons of flirting. She talks about us in the future sense constantly. We go on a proper date. End up seeing the sun set. Hold her hand. Kiss at the end of the night, I went to sleep feeling like a winner.

Next morning I wake up to the dreaded friendzone text. Disguised as her saying she isn't ready to date not only me, but anyone. Saying how quickly we moved forward was just too much for her to handle. (Mind you this was all less than a week)

Did I scare her off unintentionally by moving forward so quick? Or does is she telling the truth? My opinion is she has other dudes on retainer and isn't ready to stop yet lol

>>17085831
Well a regular kiss isn't rocket science. Just start normal and slow and go with the flow. Don't overthink it

do gurls even find pale guys attractive?

>>17083803
I moved abroad because my fwb was just an fwb. I would've stayed for her if she'd told me.

>>17085916
Yes, my boyfriend is pale and I find it really hot. Then again im pale too so maybe im bias

>"i wanna sit on your face"

How do I respond to this? I've only been seeing her for literally 5 days. We haven't even kissed yet. What is it like, anyways? I've never done facesitting before.

>>17084255
How about initiating more ofyen yourself?

>>17085949
Sounds like it's her way of saying she wants to hook up my friend. You guys might not have kissed yet but she wants much more from you

>>17084560
Guy, here. Sounds good to me.

>>17085916
as an extremely pale guy, girls have found me incredibly attractive because I'm so pale. A rissian beauty loved it, a smoking hot asian girl loved it, a cutie mexican girl loved it,a german lady adored my skin, a polish girl as well and even a qt3.14 black 19 year old thought pale skin was hot.

The asians and ,exican girls especialllyyyy love pale skin. The only white american girl I dated was so so on pale skin though. It seems any non-american white loves pale skin tones.

And i'm practically transparent I'm so fucking white. Like, stoya levels of pale. I make powder look dark skinned.

I sent a girl a link to a movie trailer and in the same text I said "we gotta watch this" she replied with "Oh im pretty sure i saw the preview for that before desu" how should I reply? Should I ask if she wants to go watch it when it comes out or what?

>>17085916
I absolutely love pale skin.
I am pale as fuck as well and it's probably the thing I love more about myself. Love it on guys, especially if he has dark hair.

>>17085209
As long as it doesn't look phallic

>>17085949

Facesitting is kind of gross desu, I don't like it, it feels too dominant for me. I cant see how any man would like it either.

Be me, 23y guy. Found out an 17y girl is attracted to me, know her less then a week. In my country you're sexual adult from 16y old (yea, from that point every 16y person is legal to have sex with anyone, wtf law, law is kinda odd) , so law isn't the issue. Never had this situation before, don't know here that we'll either.

Issue is, is this ethical oke? If she was 18, would it be a totally other thing? Hardest part is that I sometimes chill with her brother, don't want to be rude to her, but having something with her would be, besides she is 17, a crazy thought. So when she asks something I give a reaction but keep her on distance.

Thoughts?

Is aryan race undesirable now? people tell me im too white and wonder whether i have eyebrows

>>17085764
Speaking from personal experience...just get out of the situation. Something is not right there. If you don't now you have a long road of shit ahead of you.

>>17085814
Well, I went to knock on her door, but she didn't answer.
I guess that's that, at least for today. I am so emotionally drained that I just want cry myself to sleep.
My god damn room mate keeps being loud as shit. I have started to hate his guts.

>>17086034
white males haven't been fashionable since 1950's, women are all about dark skin now.

In the Western world, cant speak for the rest.

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>>17084605
>>17084605
>http://pastebin.com/SmVAnW2B
Girls is the letter that bad?

>>17086010

For me at least, it's the most erotic thing a woman can do. It hurts my neck and shoulders eating a woman out, unless she's sitting in a chair or something but then it's less intimate. Facesitting is the best of both worlds, plus pussy smells A+++.

>>17086015
Getting with your friends little sister generally is never a great idea but different in every scenario.

Also I feel like 17 is pretty young as well. You develop who you are as an individual quite a bit when you're 18-22

You gotta think about if you value your friendship with your friend more or getting with his sister more and determine what you're gonna do from there

>>17086331
my brother married his friends younger sister. They had 4 kids and then she turned into a druggie, cheated on him, and they divorced.

My brother is still really good friends with the brother and the entire family which pretty much disowned the dumb bitch.

So... there is that.

>>17086034
Asians, latinas, indians, easter europeans, french, germans, ect all still love pale, blonde, blue eyed boys. Still considered the best tier aesthetics you can be born with.

Would a woman date a fairly attractive 30yo kissless virgin who's not actually a turbo autist but just alone?