You know the drill!

I am probably just being a hopeless idiot, but I am trying to do something to try and get something going in with her. But I fear that I blew it already 2 weeks ago. And now there's only 7 more times I'll see her before school ends for the semester. And I probably won't see her again past that.


I have her new, but she did the run around with being busy when I asked her to grab coffee. So, now her I am trying to speak to her a bit to try recovering something.

We need to break up but all of my friends are really her friends. I need to figure out who I am but I don't want to be shunned to the outside...

I fucking hate myself. I'm a 27 year old, depressed, awkward, anxious and unattractive man, and will be alone forever.
I'm worthless and should just give up on this piece of shit life.

I saw a guy put a cat in a cage and then burn it on /b. It's really fucked up and I'm really upset right now

I'm really happy right now. I asked the girl I like for a date, and she was interested. I don't really know where to go with her, but I'll figure it out. Maybe.

I wish I had a gf

I want to get back together with my ex

Honestly should one really Nofap? I never had a problem with my errections with women(appart from lasting too long) and i just stopped watching porn like 2 weeks ago. Problem is I started seeing this girl at the same time and I get nervous around her and couldn't get it up. Not sure if i should attribute this to those flatlines they talk about or just anxiety. Thing Is ever since I stopped i don't get as many random boners anymore. Is it really worth it...?

At this point I'm severely doubting whether I'll even make it to 21, and I'm actually completely okay with that.
It's not like it'd be a good thing if I did anyway, and I don't really want a repeat of the worst birthday I'd ever had last year.

Please gods and goddesses of the universe, give me the strength to end everything once and for all by October.

Then everything will finally be okay.

>>17069130
I know this feel

I just want to sleep...
...forever.

I'm starting to think that stuck-up STEMtards are worse than the SJW gender studies majors. Encouraging impressionable kiddos to study STEM in the 2000's was a mistake.

>>17069184
Just drop out kids.
No, really. We live in the age of information, and the established system of education has been fucked for a while.

>>17069142
I know this feel too, anons.

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I'm hopelessly devoted to a heartless bich
I'm a sucker for a stupid cooze
My heartstrings tug for a two timing slut
My goddess is a gutless liar

I just kicked my husband out of the house. We've been together for five years. He went through a phase where he didn't want me anymore and lies about everything. Whenever I brought up divorce he would threaten to take everything and say I was taking the easy way out. Finally hit my limit and the last thing he said to me before going out the door was "I hope you get shot".

I know it was the best decision have him leave, but I can't help but regret it and I'm afraid I'm going to let him back.

Ffffffaauauuauauauuuuuiuuuuuaaaaaaaaaabficbd hi dkdnddbdosodvrvd I xredheu48 in br
Why the fuck wont she notice me! I fucking hate that no matter how bad i want her she doesnt even acknowledge that i do. She isnt even shooting me down. Im fucking aware that allowing my idiot emotions controll me and that i just need to walk away but i bet too much to simply quit. Fuck!

>>17069210
Don't. You don't have to put up with that shit. Nobody has to put up with that shit, and I'm sick of people letting these emotional train wrecks take advantage of them. Please stand your ground and find someone who will appreciate you instead.

>>17069145
I feel this feel

>>17069210
He can't take everything from you, and what few things he could are always going to be worth his eviction. Don't let him back, block his number, and tomorrow night order a pizza and rent a movie so you won't have to ruminate on it.
Overthinking something that you knew was the right decision never works out.

God fucking dammit this bitch is playing w my head and its pissing me off, I'm not having it anymore
>me and girl connect perfectly
>Friendzoned me
>get over her
>go to party w her
>she sees me w a hotter girl than her and glares at me and looks pissed, acts awkward and weird toward me the rest of the night when we're just smoking alone.
>she posts on tumblr the next day being butthurt about it
Fuck you, I tried, way too hard even honestly, you had more than enough chances with me, it figures now you want me, but it's too late, I'm gonna friendzone you like you did me, I might fuck you but I'm gonna go for the girl that's cuter/more intelligent/sexier/and more successful and see how you like being kept on the back burner

>>17069142
>>17069199
What's stopping you?

I'm stopped because I don't feel like apologizing for something when I wasn't in the wrong (Like I did all the time for her) but dang I do miss being around her. If only we could just put the bad stuff aside.

>>17069334
people are afraid of confrontation

Sometimes I look so hard for words.
I try to interpret the language of the bond you feel between us.
But in the end I'm met with nothing but silence.
And deep down, I hope it's understood.
I fell in love with the way you made the world go silent when it got too loud.
Oh, what I'd give to hear you say you loved me once more.
I'm waiting.
I'm listening.

>>17069339
So am I, especially since it would be hard for me to meet her in person without her being with her family. She isn't the most emotionally stable person nor understanding and I have major issues of my own.

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>>17069347
Why you gotta do this to me man?

I hate myself for thinking the way I'm thinking right now. No one is here for a purpose, no one belongs anywhere, we are going to die. I can reason it out by thinking to myself that one can be their own purpose and that's fine, but my mind is also convoluted with what I think is narcissism. I don't hang around the jocks, yet they must be fun to be around and obviously not everyone is the same; the DnD kids, who are shunned by a lot yet still have fun regardless of what's going around, which I find it to be nice; the smart kids, either well composed or very snobbish, and countless of other incorrect and biased categories I can conjure up and be capable of not fitting there. I guess I've been conditioned by my childhood circumstances, culture, environment, etc to think that being outgoing is the norm and if you're not, tough luck. I do miss being young. I might've been more of a man if it wasn't for the bs years I had when growing up. I sometimes imagine there's another version of me, standing out and proud. Now, I just stand. Before my goal was to get a career and take care of my parents, who was there for me until they pass away and have a fatal accident, but now I'm slowly getting my pride back. For what it's worth, these thoughts will haunt me for as long as I go even when I get better so I guess I'll have to make a book or something

I don't know wether or not we'll fight to the death or start hugging and fucking when we see each other. But you make me crazy. You're a special woman. My dick is just hard nonstop throughout the day because of you. I'll be giving you a call.

I hate that I loved you.
I hate that you loved me.
I hate how when I'm doubting current times, you come to mind.
I really hate the fact that when I remember that silly picture of you laughing still makes me smile whenever I think about it.
I hate that you left our mutual friends just because of me. They were your friend too, they cared about you, I would have never tried to make them hate you. I know they were some of the only people you actually liked at the time.
I hate that whenever I lose faith in myself I still have flashbacks of you encouraging me telling me I'm better.
I hate that when ever I listen to Mac Demarco's my kind of women or The Growlers One million lovers I still think about you.

You were great honestly, wish we could have worked. I still don't know what happened. I hope you're doing okay these days.

I don't get this whole "need to recharge my batteries" shit that people always say when they're referring to a need to get away from other people and spend time along.

Don't get me wrong. I don't particularly care for being around others, and much prefer doing my own thing. But whenever I see someone say they need to "recharge their batteries," I feel like they are either making shit up or just repeating something they heard from someone else.

I have no concept of this understanding at all. When I choose to leave others and spend my time alone, I do it simply because I prefer doing my own thing by myself. There are no "batteries" that need to be recharged. The very notion of such a thing doesn't even make sense to me.

>>17069184
>tfw you love science in general
>want to major in it not for muh elitism
>mathematical retard

I hate this. I never understood why people have to act like it makes them gods.

Its just a nice thing to learn, but I can't enjoy even that.
>>17069190
Kinda what I been doing. Just doing a bunch of amature stuff.

>>17069439
I kind of get it now that I'm in the situation myself, think it depends on how serious the previous relationship was.

If you legit had very serious intentions and an idea for the future with someone and were with them for a long time, then it's hard to find anything that compares to that love, or maybe sex reminds them of their ex, or maybe they don't want to get out of bed, maybe they're not over them yet and don't want to start a new relationship off on the wrong foot and just hurt themselves again

People have recently been very kind to me, telling me how wonderful and inspirational of a person I am. It could be that they've always told me things like this, or maybe now I'm only paying attention to it because of how misplaced their admiration feels.

I keep trying to justify what I'm doing, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it's morally wrong. I'm lying to both of them, and I'm going to end up hurting both of them. Number one has been with me for so long and through so much, but aside from that she has given me so little. I'm more like her caretaker than anything. Number two is cute, cooks for me, dresses up for me, lets me touch her, goes out with me and lets me show her off... I never knew how much I needed those things until I got them. I actually feel like a man.

But I know how it's going to end, and I'm probably going to hurt both of them very deeply. Number two is head-over heels for me, even wants me to take her virginity. As much as I want to fuck her brains out, I don't think I can do that to her. She trusts me enough, I can't just use her for my own personal vindication.

I don't know what's pushing me to continue. Cowardice, maybe? I'm too afraid to end it because of the emotional duress it will cause them, so I postpone it.

I would ask my close friends to talk me out of this, but I don't even want that either. It's terrible cognitive dissonance, but I'm keeping everyone completely in the dark so they have plausible deniability should shit hit the fan.

I'm a stupid, selfish, idiot liar. No matter how I try to rationalize it.

>>17068897
you're probably reading this as I met you on this board. I don't know why or what I said that made you block me. I enjoyed playing roblox with you and I clicked with you more than my gf does. I wasn't trying to date you by I enjoyed your advice. thanks, Ruby

I AM DRUNK
I MISS YOU ERIC
I AM WATCHING LOST IN TRANSLATION
I MISS ALEX AND JEFF
I LOVE YOU FAITH
DRUNK AND SAD, I AM. I MISS YOU

>>17068897
I'm apparently so bad at sex, I led to the other party's realization of their asexuality.

I know the best solution is experience, so do i just keep trying to find more people to seriously disappoint? Or try to hire a hooker and hope (due to where i live) that i dont get 5 different STDs from it?

I don't know how this is helping.

>>17069138
Ending it is never the answer.

I've been there, and it seems bad now. If you do end it now, how will you know what good times of ppl you've missed? I would have never met my son or seen my own wedding. If I were there I would tell you that I love you like my own brother or sister. Your life is too invaluable to give up.

Nothing's ever good enough for you. It gets exhausting you know, even painful. I tried, I really did. But nothing's ever enough.

My dad payed 30k for my fuck ups in the last year in the half and I feel like shit. I've wanted to kill myself for years but couldn't bring myself to do it cause I'm afraid of pain and how it would set off fights within relatives because nobody really gets along and someone is eventually going to snap.

Dude, you're a bloody asshole.
Your tattoos are shit, even though you think they're amazing. The only decent one you thought was bad and got it covered up with that horrible shit.
I'm just starting out so I can only do baby steps, but realise that I'm LEARNING. I can't give you a 10/10 extreme awesome 3D hyper-realistic tattoo. You tell me that you're going to be upset if there's any mistakes...listen, I'm JUST STARTING OUT. There is a reason why my first tattoos are FREE and that is the only word you heard when I mentioned that I needed guinea pigs. I'm a decent artist on paper, but I'm just a beginner on skin, so fuck off with your grandiose ideas of what you're going to get. I tried to get through to you that I will give it my best but it's FREE for a REASON. If you can't handle a potential wobbly line, perhaps some ink drop out, you honestly should fuck off and wait til I have more experience and PAY for that level of technical skill. It's free only because I'm a beginner and therefore I suck.
I wish you would listen to me and fuck off, especially when I specifically told you I wasn't tattooing fine line detail and delicate skin and you dragged your poor girlfriend in and insisted I tattoo her. She wants a small rune, the size of a 5c piece. Do you know how much that shits tattooists off?
Setting up requires a bunch of fresh plastic wraps, takes up a bunch of time to disinfect the whole area twice, paying for disposable grips, machine covers, needles, ect. It's a frustrating thing for people to get something so tiny done, especially when it's free.

>>17070174
>>17069427
no ones going to read your dumbfucking post, all you're doing is wearing out the keys on your keyboard typing this shit

>>17069646
Dude, you don't need a lot of people to get experience. Just find someone who is open to communicating and can give you advice and verbalise to you what they like in bed. By all means, spend the money on a decent hooker and ask all the questions you like, I'm sure it'll be fine.
But don't feel too bad, because your partner sounds like an asshole. It doesn't take a bad lover to make you discover you're asexual. They're blaming you for something that is entirely their own problem. Not your fault. If they are asexual, they were that long before they were with you. They would have discovered it with any partner, you were just the unlucky one they picked to experiment with.

>>17070176
Says the person who just wasted five seconds of their life typing something so pointless out. Ironic.

It's a board for venting, let people just get shit off their chest, regardless of whether anybody reads it or not.

>>17070183
wasn't a waste because i knew some easily provoked shill like yourself would gift me a (you)

>>17070187
Easily provoked? I just felt bad that you have so much frustration anon. I'm here to help others out and give some advice. Sounds like you need it most of all.

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Dating new dude. Still talks to ex a lot, I'm insanely insecure but I know I have no right to be. She wants to be with him. I think she's prettier than me. Probs shouldn't be in relationship I guess.

I want a girlfriend but i dont trust anyone.

>>17070213
you can have my gf if you want

I hate my life.
It means nothing to me. Every action I make is fake. It's always to please others. I have friends, loving parents and siblings. A girlfriend that is completely infatuated with me. A job that's not too hard, pay is shit, but for what I do it's fine.

I'm 27 years old, don't have any real dreams, or ambitions. I have all this and still, I feel empty. Even when I have fun it comes with the voices telling me that it's fake, that every smile is false. It never shuts down, my mind is always processing this reality. I hate it, that's why I became an alcoholic. To shut it down by force. Every move and reaction I make feel calculated. As if I only smile because from what I have analyzed in others. From their information, I have learned in what situation do I laugh, in which do I smile, in which do I show empathy or sympathy. Nothing feels real. I hate all this. Its exhausting.

I go through the motions, doing what I must for some reason that I do not know myself. I follow a routine that optimizes life. I'm always in a rush, with nothing to do. Why?

I continue through all this, just waiting for the day I die. I welcome my demise, but do not invite him in myself. I'm just waiting for his surprise visit. I'm too much of a coward to kill myself, or maybe it's only the extra-human bonds that keep me here. I will never understand why people care about me. Why they even enjoy my company or attention. Well, not mine, but my facade's. I just don't know what keeps me going anymore.

Therapy has not helped, nor the medicine. All it has taught me is that all my self-analysis is correct. The therapy only exist to confirm my pre-existing theories about myself. Just more colors to which to paint a better facade. As long as others are happy, I serve a purpose. So at least there's some reason to live. Some.

>>17069439
I need to 'recharge my batteries' after hanging out with people because it's exhausting for me.

I don't know how to articulate it but it's kind of like being around people sucks the energy out of me, regardless of whether or not I'm having a good time. I could have the best time with someone or a group of friends, but after a while I just need to go home and relax and be by myself, and, well, recharge.
Mental illnesses also make it more draining, especially anxiety and BPD.

>>17069868
No one would be mad enough to marry me. Getting married and having kids has been my dream since I was a little girl, and I most likely can't even have kids, let alone find someone mad enough who'd actually have them with me.
Maybe it will get better. Maybe it won't.

I appreciate your words though, thank you anon. I hope you've found your happiness.

I met this girl on /soc/ years ago. I miss her a lot. I went through I seriously fucked up period in my life and was very irrational about everything. I wish I hadn't met her during that time of my life. Maybe things would have been different. Who am I kidding? It wouldn't have worked out, but it's nice to think about sometimes since I've literally no chance in hell with anyone these days. A relationship is the least of my worries anyway. It's easier being single, I suppose.

I Want to die... Memes are the only thing keeping me from ending it all. My crippling depression has got out of hand, All of my friends think it's all a joke. But i just really want 2 die.

I'm trying to break up with the love/lust of my life. When we met it was like every single chat had been worth the effort. The feelings were reciprocal for a while until it became clear that I was being used and a pawn in someone's grand scheme.

Realizing that your so worthless to someone and that they are such a coward as to not be able to tell the truth is devastating.

Sometimes life's lessons are necessary for us to grow and become stronger than before someone who you were going to do anything for crushed everything.

Being true to yourself, and allowing beautiful moments to fade into obscurity is hard. With hindsight life is unfair. Ultimately, we can't fix those who are so broken that its the rest of the world they blame for their problems.

Physical beauty and nonchalance will only take the untalented and socially inept so far. I shouldn't worry about the future of someone so uncaring and narcissistic, for their life will amount to nothing, much like the rest of their family.

I work with two people I absolutely despise! And it's not a situation where I can remove myself from their company! We are in another country for our job so leaving is not an option, the silver lining for me is the fact that I only have 24 days 8 hours left being around them! The female on the team is dumb as a box of rocks! I am not exaggerating either! The male who happens to be in charge is a as weird as they come! The mother fucker constantly thinks we are being watched! He drinks literally 10-15 cups of coffee a day and doesn't eat lunch! Now I know this sounds like their problems and shouldn't be mine but when your stuck around two people who don't bath and are fucking morons it becomes my problem! Honestly I fucking hate them and it's turned to loathing them!
When we return home I plan on never talking to them and also potentially striking the male with a closed fist multiple times until he goes unconscious then I would fill his anal cavity with seamen from another man

Just turned 20 and an aspie, still living with my mother. Missed out of the party lifestyle, only got 2 IRL friends who live quite far away and only see occationally, though I've got a lot of online friends I talk to daily. Never went to university and have a shit job, fucked up college as well. Kissless virgin. Trying to get my life on track but difficult to talk to people and I feel awful having wasted my teenage years and I'm not sure how to meet new people.

Planning to break up with my girlfriend - we've been dating for 2 years but were close friends for 4 years before that. But since uni started I've changed and tried to grow our relationship to a more adult level but I think she is still stuck in high-school romance mode.

I'm scared to lose my best friend who I've talked to every day for years... but our differences are straining our relationship. I really do care about her but there are people out there who are more compatible for both of us.

If she doesn't want to be friends after, so be it. All I would want is for her to be able look back on our relationship and friendship and remember the good times. I know I certainly will.

You don't care about me, and even if you do it doesn't matter because you're a dick and this won't change

I still think about you and this makes me feel humiliated and upset

I write letters full of stupid delusional anger then I destroy them

I'm trying to figure my way out of a family friend thinking I've been having an illicit relationship with his underage niece. He knows my mother and told her that he has something very serious to talk to her about involving me. I called him up and he said that it's not something he feels comfortable talking about over the phone; it needs to be said in person. He's coming over in about three hours and both myself and my mother are freaking the fuck out. I won't say I'm completely innocent, and have been a bit touchy-feely, but nothing around other people that should incite those kinds of feelings. I can only assume he saw something or heard something when I didn't think he was around.

I'm scared shitless for my life and I'm seriously wishing I was dead right now.

I can bullshit my way through almost any conversation, but when an accusation like this comes up I'm sitting here like a retard ready to shit his pants.

>>17070682
Initials?

>>17069382
Hopefully the latter, my old friend
Fuck, do I miss you
Come

I hope you're well, C

God help the person/s who will have to go through my phone when I kill myself. And god help any of the people I've written letters to who might actually end up reading them. There's so many letters to one person and while I hope they'll eventually find them, I don't want them to read them at the same time.

Oh well lmao.

How the hell do I get to you? Everywhere I turn is a dead end. This shit is killing me.

I fucking hate everything. I hate how I have to put on this show for people to like me. I don't want this. I fucking hate how no one really ask me how I'm doing? Sadly I hate everyone I know, why am I alive? To find that one person that likes me for no reason at all?

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>>17070589
Kill yourself

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I have a thing for my boyfriends female cousin. We became friends instantly and now we spend a lot of time together. Sometimes I get the feeling she's flirting with me. I wouldn't mess up my boyfriend's family though so this is not going anywhere. Just need to distance myself. She's so cute it hurts.

I wish I had posted in this thread and not on a public space with identities where I was found out for my stupid rant. I fucking hate myself. I fucking hate myself!!!

>>17070977
How are you doing?

>>17071125
you're not supposed to have wood in contact with the ground, especially that loamy shit. unfortunate that beautiful staircase will have begun rotting within a year.

>>17071178
Thanks for trying anon.

>>17070516
I highly doubt all that. Once again, it seems to me that you are just repeating something you heard from someone else. There is no need to recharge any batteries. You simply want to be alone. Quit making lame excuses for it. Everyone and their mother thinks they are so god damn special. You're not. You like being alone and don't want to waste too much time with others, that's it. There's no "recharging" involved.

>>17071343
Never heard of burnout? Never met anyone who's worked so hard their hair falls out? Ever had a panic attack at work you've been so stressed out after working 30 days straight, understaffed? From your reply I don't believe you've any idea what you're talking about.

I feel like shit, and I have enough of playing a role of the emotional tampon/stepping stone for all my friends.

Why do you all think I'm so fat and introverted as fuck? Could it be because I'm a depressed piece of shit unable to stop eating my sorrows, riddled with insecurites so rampant that meeting new people is a pure torture? I'm a zero value woman, I will be alone till my dying day, and yet I have to play your mommy, listen to your problems with boyfriends, girlfriends, or the lack of thereof, or balding or dieting or poverty or mean professor or whatever the fuck is today on the menu.

My father is a ticking bomb and everyday I go to sleep, I wonder whether it's the last day he's alive. He should stay in bed and do fucking nothing but he has to keep working, do his hard, gruelling shit every day. My mum is weak as fuck and her hands tremble like she's 80, and I bet she will be dead pretty soon too.

And I'm here, feeling unwanted, unloved, depressed and verging on completely mental. I started drinking like crazy, popping pills like there's no tomorrow.

I'm 23 but I feel so fucking old and weary. I'm not your friend, because when I need someone who would listen, who would fucking lie and say "you are doing fine, everything will be alright", you are too occupied with your petty issues, or you are having fun with your friends, and above all, you don't gave a shit about me, not in the slightest.

So yeah, fuck you all, dear friends.

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>>17071370
What the fuck do panic attacks and working hard have to do with social interaction?

>>17068897
Why do you do what you do? You are like, you dont text me like before, well, you dont text me at all.

Am I right that we are compatible as fuck? Because, bitch, it seems like EVEN in our fucked up situation, I STILL naturally say the perfect things to sway your attitude, but I still can't help but put tremendous thought into every word. And the fact that I can call and read what you will say next is fucking uncanny. If we are this connected, then stop this act so we can get back together only for our relationship to fall apart again. Come on. Please.

>>17071443
Even though everything makes sense, my mind can't help but drift into negative thoughts, ESPECIALLY when I'm on this fucked up board. I start to think maybe you're fucking with me (again?). Or maybe I'm completely wrong and everything I'm reading on you is backwards. But even when I convince myself that it's not possible, I start to think of everything that can go wrong. I start think of how we were before. Relapsing. Everything fucking up again, all the negative feelings. Us not getting better.

But I was SO sure that I've figured you out enough, and changed so much so to handle you and make us happy. I am, or was, certain that It won't happen again like before because I know how to operate you. I know how to work with you. I know what to do with every part of you because I've seen so much into what happened with us and what kind of person you are with so much perspective that I can't help but feel everything is different now. I won't let what happened, happen again.

>>17071477
I don't care nearly as much anymore. I see who you are. I'm going to make you mine again. I'm going to make you beg for me like I did you, and I won't catch feelings at the result either way it happens. If it's the same story, fine. If it's different, fine. I'll stay right here until I get what I fucking want out of it. No more pain for me though. I won't let that shit happen again. I will love you with all my mind, but only part of my heart. Yeah, I know what kind of person you are now. And I'll say this much, I'm doing this and going along with the ride because I want to wait. I'm genuinely ready to wait as long as it takes for you. And if you finally grow and develop into the person I think you could be, and stop being the awful person you are now, I will love you wholeheartedly. Maybe you'll never change. Maybe you will, but maybe I won't
be the one to change you.

>>17071498
Whatever happens, even if it the best possible outcome, it doesn't matter to me, because I know in the end, you're not the one for me. We have a 1% chance together for a permanent life, because I see now why I can't make you my wife

>>17071498
>I'm going to make you beg for me like I did you
Correction, I'm going to make you fucking beg and chase me like you did to me when we first met, and more. Bitch, If I don't make you head over heels for me, I'll consider us a lost cause.

Why isn't she talking to me any more? Is it because she's worried about coming between me and my wife? Is it because she thinks that I've fallen helplessly in love with her?
Well... never mind about whether that's true or not. That's not going to be a problem. No.

>>17071421
What's your Initials?

>>17070837
Fuck you

I'm being observed at a college tomorrow for a teaching job. The stress of it looming is killing me. Some days at work are better than others, but this is almost as bad as it gets. I've been preparing all weekend and revising stuff I've not taught in a while so I don't make any mistakes but the anxiety makes me feel physically ill. It's pathetic, my arms and legs feel weak, like I've worn them out exercising, my chest is tight. I just can't cope with pressure, I don't know how others manage their responsibilities, worrying eats me away. I know I'll barely sleep tonight and wake up feeling dreadful, I'll probably forget stuff and get flustered and embarass myself. Stress will put me in an early grave, it can't be healthy to feel like this on a regular basis.

I really hope I get jury duty that lasts from tomorrow until my vacation next month

I just really don't want to go to work anymore

>>17071817
No

I'm a 23 lonely guy who hates his body. I want to be a girl but MtF disgust me. I hate boys and love lesbians. I can't obviously date lesbians...
Also MtF has no chance of dating girls.
I want to stab my fucking penis, I hate it so much.
No therapist has understood me.

Sometimes I dream that after I die, I'll just be reborn as a girl. That's the stupidest thing to believe.

>Finally see someone who is my type
>She is just an attention seeker

It hurts so much, it feels like i will never find my SO.

>>17071863

I feel much the same way (don't hate my penis particularly just the entire gestalt maleness of my body). The "MtF disgusts me" part is such a killer because it just means you have no community in the entire world. idk what the solution is

>>17071817
Are you mad at me?

>>17071903
Yes, are you happy now?

>>17071910
Ok if it's you then message me and let's talk.

>>17071892
Good to see other people with the same problems. Maybe I have to be more open minded about the MtF solution... But still I like girls.

>>17071910
>>17071903
>>17071919

This could legitimately be me and my C

I'm an R, for what it's worth

Life is an unbearably painful, excruciatingly beautiful, long drawn out joke. We love only to lose, we laugh only to cry, we all lie and no person knows the truth, we live only to die. i dont know what life is, i dont know if there is a god, but i do know that each day im in love with life and im having an affair with death on the side. I secretly want to kill myself in the hopes that maybe id get another go around.

>>17071946
I'm not this guy
>>17071910
I'm A

>>17071971

A pls. I know it's not my C, but let me believe

>>17071939

for me transwoman is like the opposite of everything I want to be. I support them totally but it's just not me. I just want to be a pretty dyke with strong eyebrow game :(

>>17071984
>pretty dyke
OMG, that's EXACTLY how I feel too !
I just want to be a tomboy lesbian.

Hey Tanner, shes lying to you, I should know I'm telling her half the things to say... as much fun as it is to read exactly how pathetic you are so here's a heads up. Long distance.. it doesn't work.

>>17069130
Did you end it?

Met someone months ago. We were just talking as friends, sort of, but now it is changing into something else. Really weird and unexpected.

They fucked someone else and may have feelings for them. They want to keep talking to me, see where it goes, or whatever. I don't know if I'm a backup plan, sideline amusement, or what.

Taking this further is a terrible idea, I think, as I have started to like them. They also have a seriously scary amount in common with an ex I loved and am not completely over.

I am not one for open relationships and casual sex. There is a connection though, and it's fucking with me.

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lol i tell myself i'm fine and my depression is better/gone but then i break down randomly and everything is back as it was and i wonder if i'm ever gonna get better
this happens like 3 times a month and every time i'm just a mess for days

Fuck everything

>>17072233
Me too... You're not alone.

I just got broken up with 2 days ago. R, I wish that someday you'll realize how much I love you, even if after all the drama and the pain you've caused, I still want to be by your side...

I can't help but think that things would have worked better, if only we just met at the right time. But now, it looks like I'm always going to just hope... hope that one day, you'll message me again.

So until that happens, if it ever even will, my heart will ache for you.

L.

I'm depressed and I don't have eny friends. No hobbys no interest in life. No feels no love. Nobody cares about me. I'm alone and I'm empty inside.

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I MISS MY EX EVEN THOUGH WE WERE TOXIC TO EACH OTHER I WANT TO EMBRACE HER AGAIN I LOVE HER MORE THAN ANYTHING BUT I AM AFRAID TO CONFRONT HER BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO MAKE THINGS WORST

My hope is that we had planned to go on a cruise ship in September which is already written on paper I gave her my SS card and she hasn't gave it back yet.

Also I think she stole a shirt from my car while I was at work, most people would be freaked out but any interaction with her excites me

>>17069328
YEAH!!!!!!

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>just want to live drama free
>living at home
>sister moves back in because parents are idiots
>she associates with low lifes
>some guy calls anonymously and makes vague threats to the whole family after she does a huge social media shit flinging event
>saw a car just sitting down the road until I waved and they peeled off
>have a nice car, nice things in my room
>been sleeping with one eye open

You stupid fucking bitch. Why did you bring this here? Is it not enough that you almost destroyed this family once before?

I just fucking wish I'd get into an accident and die. My future is grim I fucked up and failed in my second course and in case youre wondering i also dun goofed in my first course. I just end up being a jerk to friends as well.

I'm planning on ending it soon, fuck this life

>>17069328
That's it anon! keep it up.

My current girlfriend loves me more than I love her. And I think that's swell because she's dependent upon me and I'm not particularly dependent upon her. I like having that disconnect from the relationship. It's like being with someone but mentally having a foot out of the door in case I get hurt again. She says she's never had someone like me in her life and part of the freshness of being "the first" is keeping me there. I like being there for her emotionally and mentally but I still have a proverbial foot out of the door because I don't want to give myself and wind up hurt again.

So, there was I minding my own business, being all cool and fine with life.
And my friend comes up and is like "hey Anon, you know our friend A? He's really into B, isn't he?"
"That's right, man! We should talk to them and see where this goes."

We talk to A. He's really into B. Same day a few hours later B comes all touchy to me. Messing with my hair, paying a lot of attention to me and holding on to me as we're all chilling.

Now I feel awkward towards B. A likes her, which makes me feel even worse. I feel alone and will have to keep it this way for the sake of our group. Life, why don't you just kill me already? You're a bitch for taking so long. Stop playing with me.

(PS: there is a girl who's into me, but I kinda had something for her friend and she isn't my type, so shit's only gonna propagate. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey )

I've cammed with a friend of mine and while she didn't know it I set up a video streaming thing to capture her because my memory is pretty shit when it comes to remembering special events like that. I still watch it whenever. Feels great, man.

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I learned some good wisdom today,If you haven't learned to learn efficiently(the process) and just memorize things in school, don't go to college,college isn't there to learn it's there to provide material and not the process of learning itself,plus trying to learn to learn in college is like trying to ride a bike for the first time during a bicycle marathon.

>>17072502
That's a violation of her civil rights.

So you're not only a total dick, you're an unconstitutional dick.

Scared and tired of being paranoid. I'm always in constant fear of losing my job because minor occasional slip ups. I intern but I was informed it was OK to take my time to learn before I leap into a higher position. I'm scared that my boss is getting sick of waiting and that they'd rather have someone faster. Cause i saw an ad where i work is up and ther couple of other interns with me and someone turn in a resume. I'm so scared that it might be me they'll let go. But I just pay attention to me. Sigh

I really wish I had someone that truly cared about me and that I wouldn't fear being myself at all to them.

I hope this happens some day.

>>17072522
Oh, no, she's taken video of me, too. She actually did it first. Only difference is I haven't told her about it because I have a voyeur fetish. We send each other /fit/ progress pics and nudes occasionally. She just doesn't know that during a couple of our sessions I recorded her so I can watch her in motion. God she's gorgeous to look at.

my kissless virginity is restoring itself and I feel it

>>17072543
Okay then. It sounds like the perfect relationship between two Narcissists! Good to see people like you get together because God knows we don't want you to hook up with people like me, i.e. sensitive types. Carry on and cheers! Post some this shit here so we can all get off to you getting off to yourselves.

im tired of life. everyone is full of hate and hypocrisy. im craving for human contact. whatever form of human contact. im just so alone. i just want it to end. yet i dont face it. the few people who bore my depression told me it will get better. but its been years. nothing gets better. its just getting worse and worse. now no one wants to hear from me. every morning i cry, seeking reasons to live, then finally get up because i have to. every night when i come home, i tell myself i'm going to end it. but never do. every day it gets worse. id like to say i have something to look forward to. whats even wrong with me. i feel empty. yet, i have so much love and affection to give. i asked for nothing, yet here i am, writing this to myself and to strangers, crying like every other night. ending it seems the best thing to do. i dont even know why i stay alive. could just swallow some medicals and alcohol. i have nothing to look forward to. no goal. no friend. my family is fucked up. i have no one who loves me, no one who likes me. i just want to end it
i tried really hard
im kind
im not a creep
im sure i can be a good friend
i tried really hard
if someone would just give me a chance
id buy them pizzas
we could hang out
i just want someone to talk to
i tried really hard
i tried to "fight depression", to "cheer up"
i swear i tried
why am i even writing this
it makes me cry even more
why am i even bothering strangers on this board

The Wild got fucked by the refs in tonight's playoff game. It should have went into OT.

But they're a MN team, so getting fucked is to be expected.

>>17072605
I'm sorry, anon.

Try therapy if you haven't already.

In the meantime, listen to Peace of Mind by Above & Beyond. Might make you feel a little better. Let me know if you do.

>>17072324
no
-r

>>17069328
Stay strong, anon.

I really wish I could stop overthinking things. It doesn't help that I'm a lazy person, but I can usually overcome laziness if I try hard enough. The thing is, I just want to enjoy life the way others do. But I am always worried about something. About my well-being. About things I could be doing instead. I almost wish I were autistic so I'd have an excuse, but I don't. I'm gonna die friendless and unloved. At least I have my family, but there isn't anything exciting going on in their lives either..

Fuck tumblr/the sjw scene and everything it's done to ruin feminism, mental illness, and the lgbt community.

I'm a cishet white guy and I can't even fucking give my support without fearing that the internet lynch mob will come after me or at best my voice will be silenced because any discussion I might want to have will be squelched by the goddamned "mansplaining" cop-out.

>>17072605
I am you.

Choke on a Twinkie, Fattie McFatasss.

>>17072750
Wow. How creative and cutting your insults are!

Dear A. and E.
You had me hook line and sinker. Fed me fairytales and filled my head with your insane social justice nonsense. I mean they were "facts" right? I was young and impressionable. I took every word as gospel. Once I felt content and happy you snatched it away. Only to make me come back to do the same shit again. But that's not all. Then you manipulated me to stick by your side and watch you spiral out of other relationships, while constantly holding the bait infront of me when they fell apart. I find someone new, and you completely ruin it. You set me up with someone only to help crush it as it's about to start. And the kicker in this is when I go cold turkey on you and find someone completely new, it is the same shit all over again.

Then you who I finally felt like I was happy with did it out of pity. Why lead me on if you never felt anything for me? Months of my life were wasted on someone who never felt the same. When I tried to close the obvious gap between us, instead of breaking it off, you continued the cerade. I have to ask why I was in need of your pity? I was able to function socially pretty well by then. At least when it was over I knew better, or so I thought.

I then came crawling back to you with a stupid hope that maybe you changed after I was gone. Boy was I fucking retarded. Gladly I didn't let it last long. By then you had gone completely crazy with your nonsense and I had finally started seeing the world the way it really is.

Despite being over you both and knowing better, I have yet to find even the smallest amount of attraction towards any other people since, including you two. It's an empty feeling that's growing by the day. I keep trying to fill the proverbial hole inside myself the best I can, but nothing is ever enough. I feel like a sociopath because it's getting hard to feel.

I hate everything you two did. I know I am at fault for falling into such obvious bullshit. But if I learned anything, it's to stop being a cuck.

The stuff I see in the internet is getting to me.
I'm relatively new to the internet as a whole. (I used some isolated Game Maker forums as a teenager and then didn't use it much at all). So I am in a way still learning the dynamics of its various sites (only been for like 4 years here in 4chan).
And lately I've been using it A LOT. And just these past two days I've been getting into arguments all over, though I never saw the point in it. I used to be puzzled as to why people responded to bait trolls or kept arguing with strangers over the internet and now I'm doing it myself.
Also the porn I watch... man... it's really getting imprinted in my mind nao... I should stop consuming that shit. I've been jerking off to this for... 7 years? 8? but just recently I'm starting to see it when I close my eyes.
That's some scary shit mang.
I mean, I've had my internet periods on and off. One would think this is another one due to my forced isolation but it is really getting to me this time. Funny enough, it's like I had two lives: one off the internet where I am a relatively functional person (though still a NEET of sorts), and one as a shut in internet addict. And I progress in life (in the stuff that I care about, not school, not wageslaving) and then I have these periods in which I'm another anonymous stream of bytes interacting with this shapeless mass of opinions and information.
It's kinda awesome, but it's also sp00py

I just love her so much. I really need to talk, but meh. I don't want to disturb my friends. Plus, it's embarassing...
Yesterday I basically told her what I feel... And I asked her to go out with me, maybe for a coffee, I don't know.
She said "okay, yes, we can try" while smiling. I can't forget that smile. I just can't.
We didn't choose a precise day because she didn't know when she has free time, but I'll ask her tomorrow I guess.
I want to tell her so many things, but I can't say a single word. It's strange. I can't sleep, I keep thinking and thinking. I feel stupid, but it's love I guess...
And her birthday is near too. Welp. Good luck too me. This is all so unexpected. I can't believe it's happening.

Thanks for reading, anons. I can't talk with anyone atm.

>>17072757
Butt-blasted fattie detected.

>>17072782
14 year old boy detected. Response to anything is, "durr hurr yur fat!"

>31
>have crush on nineteen-year-old co-worker
Now I get to feel sad AND guilty.

>>17072800
Just hit the gym lardass.

>>17072770
I should start a blog, though there I wouldn't know what to write, I always think I'd need to study up a bit and put proper references in my entires. But some of them are so abstract, or I am already too busy trying to be competent in programming, that I really don't have time to read, say, Wolfram's New Kind of Science to gather the bits that might inspire me further.
So, it's really interesting, I (falsely of course) perceived as if the internet itself was on to me in a way. This is really a consequence on my intrigue for neural networks, cellular automata, emergent complexity, and the abstract notions of mind and consciousness as associated with complex systems like that of an anthill (Aunt Hillary anyone?).
Anyway my sci-fi idea was refuted in it's possibility right away in a thread which spawned interesting discussion. But there is still some sort of ... idk... a sort of tangible realization of it in the way we interact with the internet. We are not really just interacting with some people, we are interacting with a part of the whole, and the communities of the internet come to have a mindset of their own. We all know this. But we rarely think about some of it's implications. As some wise anon said some time a few years back, in an anonymous board we assume the role of the community as a whole. Damn his words were much more insightful, but we do merge into the mass of ideas and opinions. Of course society has always done this, but the internet is kind of different, while at the same time... it is not. Our interaction with the internet is a more tangible one that that with, say, our country, our culture, our intellectual-domain community. here we are indeed amorphous. Even when associated with a name. We're streams of bytes. And as i write this and scroll through the thread, there are no faces, it's like one big mass talking back to me through this physical device that is my monitor. It's like one of the terminals of a superbrain.

Why do I struggle so much with schoolwork!!! I can spend hours freaking out and feeling paralyzed by the stress of even the smallest assignment.

Anti-depressants sort of helped but not really. Stimulants sort of helped but not really. I feel so overwhelmed so quickly, it makes me feel like such a loser. The professors probably think I slack off but I spend more energy and tears on these dumb assignments than anyone. Ugh. Gonna try anti-anxiety next.

Fuck fuck fuck I hate this feeling. I thought sorting out the worst of my depression would help, I thought I could well in college so long as I wasn't suicidal like I was in high school. Life has improved vastly but I'm still having the same fucking problems with feeling paralyzed by responsibility. Why why? How am I going to do grad school when I'm still like this? I wish this came easily. Geez.

I seriously need a website where people talk about missing thier exes and console each other.

>>17072758
Initials?

>>17072828
A hugbox? Have you tried reddit?

>>17072826
Let me ask you. Is the homework on something you want to learn about, or is it something you just have to do to meet some external requirement?

>>17072837
I haven't been there in years, I'll look for a subreddit.

>>17072837
>>17072844

Fuck off and never come back.

I'm on Starting Strength right now, and I'm scared I'm falling behind on linear progression. I only squat 225 lbs right now and I want to stay on a beginner program, because I won't move up as fast on an intermediate program.
I know my happiness shouldn't depend on a number, but I really wanted to get further before slowing down.

>>17072828
/r/casualconversation, /r/confession, /r/offmychest

>>17072771
Congrats- but take a deep breath! I worry a little that the vibe I'm getting from your post is that you put her on a pedestal. Remember that she is a human being...This definitely doesn't mean "play hard to get" or "act standoffish," just don't worship the ground she walks on. Maybe I misunderstood your tone. Either way, have fun on your date!

>>17072144
Oddly enough, I know this feel, lol.

>>17068991
Sorry man :(
No matter how much I see shit on the internet, the death of innocents ruins my day.
>>17069132
Even just a reduction of masturbation could help, but from personal experience, I objectify women WAY more when I'm horney (no shit). When I was staring at the ass of every lady who walked by, I quit nofap.
>>17069184
Why? It's mostly the science "fans" that piss me off, but they're mostly engineers, or else drop out after freshmen year. I'm in physics, and all the people left in the classes are such autists that "stuck-up" would be the last thing you'd think of.

>>17072144
Sometimes we are attracted to certain traits.
You have a type then.
But just because they are similar it doesn't mean things will be the same.
You may have to lower your guard down. You could have something nice. Just also use what you have learned from the previous. Maybe you can also be safe without pushing them back.

Be strong and have some courage

>>17069439
Some people are introverts Anon. It's taxing for me to be around people, even if I enjoy it. I enjoy playing the banjo too, but I couldn't do it all day long, I'd get tired. Same idea.

>>17072840
Unfortunately both. The feeling might actually be worse when it's something I care about because then I start hating myself for not being to engage with it, you know? I am very open to practical suggestions on how to calm the fuck down and do schoolwork like a proper human being.
Thank you for replying! It feels good to know that someone out there in the void read that.

>>17072808
Why?

I'm a couple years older than you and still occasionally sleep with girls that young.

I would never date one now, mind you, but you are both consenting adults, were anything to happen.

>>17072676
thanks for caring your post gave me a little smile. i tried seeking help, but in the end never did anything profesional about it... i guess maybe i shouldve... i did tried to first talk about it with the people around me, but they didnt even took me to serious, like if i was some kind of edgy guy. and as i said now nobody wants to hear me talk about it. the few people that surround me daily make me feel as im alone i think thats the worst

just listened to the song, its nice but it hurt. believing these words is really hard but thats the only thing which keeps me going. because if im here typing this, if im not dead yet thats because some part of me still wants to believe it i guess? but everytime i try i still fall back in depression. as i said the people who surround me daily doesnt even seem to care anymore. some of them actually did try to help me but it didnt work. i feel guilty about these people, like ive wasted their time. i dont blame the one who didnt care though, no one wants someone constantly whining right? they mustve thought it was just a phase or something. its like everyone i knew, every person who i knew from school, its like i dont exist to them. its sad but i understand. though i tried to get out of it by myself, in the end i just end up more fucked up, so im like a lost cause you know? and ive came to think its ok for the situation to be like this since im like that since i was a child. maybe my childhood fucked up everything i had to live in the future, idk.

anyway, id have so much to say but.. you're not a therapist, just some kind person on 4chan. in my country its 5am so my day will start soon. but i have to thank you. your post alone makes me want to fight a little more. i dont know if it will even last until tonight, but today ill try a little harder... i wasnt going to kill myself tonight anyway

>>17072881
35 oldfag here.

Slept with a 19 year old recently. Made out with another 19 year old even more recently.

It's such a strange mix of hot and...strange. I do feel odd about it, but how could I in my right mind turn it down if they're willing?

I can't tell anyone about it, though. I'd get judged so hard, lose respect, if not friendships and who knows, maybe fired and shit. And God forbid my family ever found out.

>Hey, anon. How was your weekend?

>Oh, great. Plowed a teenager.

>>17072876
I think they're more concerned this person slept with someone that they may have feelings for, while proclaiming they may also have something also.

That is kind of fucked.

>>17072885
I'm a pretty habitual procrastinator as well. The big trick I found was just to get away from my computer/apartment. I started staying after class and just do the work at school before I went home for the day.

By physically being somewhere and not allowing myself to leave until I was done or at least made reasonable progress, it was easier to keep up.

Also, learn how to schedule your time. Helps in a lot of areas, not just homework procrastination.

>>17072886
Nothing is every going to happen anyway, but it still feels almost, well, "predatory" isn't exactly the word I'm looking for, but it's probably the closest.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. I don't know what's truth and what's a lie. Were they gaslighting me, or were they right, and it's my boyfriend who's gaslighting me?

>>17072896
If you're still up, I'll leave you with a couple things. You're up way too late (unless you already slept).

Try getting regular sleep and exercise if you don't already. You'd be amazed at how much better this will make you feel. I know it's very to get started doing those things when you're depressed, but try to force yourself to do it, and you'll start to feel better. And back to therapy, maybe there's even group therapy you can go to with people who are going through similar feelings. You can bond together and get strength that way.

If you're still here, and don't mind me asking, what country are you in? Amerifag here. Minneapolis. Prince and all that.

>>17072908
Same boat here, anon. I know that exact feel.

>>17072898
I posted this.

>>17072903
Must be the lack of sleep. 24 hours up. Not good.

>>17072908
I never had to go about it in a predatory fashion. I understand your concern though, but if she pursues you...

I look younger, a lot of women like older men, and I am still giving off a wounded vibe from the love of my life leaving me.

Things just seem to happen.

>>17072928
Are you me?

What really makes me feel strange is when I do the freaky stuff I'm into with them.

>>17072936
Holy fuck, I might be you.

Very true. A lot of these younger girls are into some serious kink, and are much more open to it.

>>17072928
>but if she pursues you...
She won't. Like I said, nothing is ever going to happen, so maybe the guilt is mostly misplaced.

I have few friends and anti social tendencies making it really difficult for me to have any real interaction with people.

Besides that, I'm aiming for a degree in medicine and find myself almost apathetic to life in general. The only reason I enrolled in it was because it made my parents proud. Nothing really interests me anymore.

I've dropped most of my hobbies in favor of either studying or playing games. My last relationship ended horribly and I've grown jaded.

>>17072918
i will try as soon as i have free time (which is usually spend sleeping). ill look for this kind of therapy, i dont think theres one in my town (i leave in a shitty ghetto) but thats ok i guess. will try to improve my life quality as well. it may sound strange or as im faking it but right now youve gave me the will to actually try harder and move things. i just needed to hear it from someone

btw i live in france, near to paris

>>17072904
Thank you, that's really good advice. I tend to "reward" myself for going to class by then immediately going home and doing nothing but I think I will try rewarding myself with actual accomplishments. I will try staying after class this week, thank you again.

>>17072947
It is misplaced.

You have done nothing; feeling shame is akin to being arrested for a 'thought crime'.

I should have known you had a girlfriend and a kid. I should have known to never develop a crush on someone in the service industry again. I should have, but I didn't. You made me feel important, and finding this out, that I have no chance, is like a punch in the gut and I kind of hate myself.

Here I go, spiraling down. This is not the time, I need to focus. But i like you so much and I fucked up. I cried because it's my fault, and I'm just tired. And sorry. I want you to be happy.

But I also don't want to be led on anymore. I don't want someone I obviously like to keep perpetuating the myth so I keep coming back. You're not the reason I come in, alright, just a bonus. I'm going to have to avoid you now, for my sanity. I don't even know if I can look at you, I don't know, I need time alone to figure out myself and cry a little more and decompress. Oh... If only, it's always if only with me. Fuck this shit.

>>17072960
All right, France bro. I wish you luck.

>>17072941
I agree, other me. That's been my experience as well.

>>17072881
Nigger I'm a literal recluse IRL. I don't need a lesson on people who prefer to keep to themselves. I still don't see how "recharge my batteries" makes sense.

>>17072971
Cool. Now I can go back to just regular sadness.

>>17073003
We are the lucky ones, other me.

well how do I start.
lately I'm having a lot of ansiety crisis, and everytime I do know the blame is my back hurting like crap, but this pain reflect on my chest I subconciously I start thinking I have a heart issue
this ansiety keeps coming back more and more often, few of them is almost a panic attack, and I never can relax, fearing the next time I will feel all this again

I'm so fucked up and I pretend not to be. I'm so fucking mad about losing my closest family members and only shitty assholes are left. I'm really not a bad person, just a little different after all the shit I've been through. Why do people even give a fuck?

I love her... I can't stop thinking about her, she is with someone but I think she likes me too. God damn it... Why am I so bad at this? I haven't loved for so long I forgot how to do it...

>>17072040
Hey, I'm not Tanner. But what are the girls initials?

>>17073072
I'll try to remember that, and not feel guilty next time I've got four fingers down a young chicks throat while plowing her.

Dear K.

It has been 7 months, 10 days, 23 hours, and 20 minutes since we last spoke. I miss you so much. Why did you just stop talking to me? I miss you so very much. Not a day goes by I don't think of you. You taught me so much, you stopped me from taking my own life. But now you won't even talk to me. Why? What did I do to you?

Since you left bad stuff has been happening. My grandfather disowned me, my friends have slowly disappeared. All this stuff... I need you to help me through this like you used too. For a short while after you left, I cried and cried... But that sadness turned into pain, and the pain turned to hatred, but the hatred is gone... Now I don't feel anything. I am numb to everything now. I miss when we would play games until 3 or 4 in the morning. I hope I'm not the only one who looks back on those days with happiness.

I don't feel alive anymore. I'm just existing... Not living... Please just come back. You were a teacher, a counselor, but most of all you were a friend...

Please...

I've given up on the relationship. I don't know if he understands that or not. If the problems we've had for the last four years are going to get better, it will have to be because he makes it happen. All I can do is wait and see what happens. I can't keep trying. I can't keep hoping. I can't connect with him again unless things change. It hurts too much to lovingly goof around with him one minute only for him to be inconsiderate toward me the next minute. If past attempts to improve things are any indication, our problems won't be resolved this time either, especially with my lack of involvement. I can't tell if that means it's already over. The end seems so inevitable. Still, I need for it to play out. If I walk away when there still might be some slight chance, I'll never let go.

Starting to worry about my poops lately. They're very irregular and never formed no matter what I eat and that has me concerned. I might go see a doctor but will probably chicken out

To quote Billy Joel...

"Yes they're sharing a drink they call loneliness. But it's better than drinking alone"

>>17073112
I do remember that, when I have them cuffed, gagged, and am twisting a handful of their hair while pounding a cervix.

>>17073112
>>17073072

By the way, where do you tend to meet them? I'm big into the rave/EDM scene, and that's where it usually happens for me.

>>17073128
Nice.

>>17072723
>cishet

Dude, you're a faggot. Grow the fuck up. You're a person. Only idiots need labels to give them special snowflake powers.

36 year old with a 20-year-old crush feeling very jealous right now

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Fuck it, I need to get this off my chest, and hopefully get my feelings figured out in the process.

I first want to say I'm completely enamoured by you, and would love to have you in my life, I just hope that our friendship does not get wrecked in process, we have known each other for so long, and we have seen each other fail in relationships over the years, and we both know each other really well there is really no reason why we shouldn't date. A few nights ago when I was with you and we were walking side by side in each other's arms I felt so comfortable in your embrace, and then when we kissed it was like I was a teenager again, I was giddy to the point of being awkward. Then later that night as you were rubbing your hands over my entire body as I was driving was entirely orgasmic, your touch is so electrifying. After that we parked in a secluded area and made out for a bit, and while we were making out in my car I looked deeply into your eyes, and saw where I want to be and that is with you. I know we would have a couple hurtles in our relationship, one is you live a 45 minutes away, but if I have to I will make that drive there and back just to see you on a regular basis, also the second is you are transgender, which honestly I don't care about that at all, i like you for the person that you are. But I am kind of worried about what my family would think if they found out that I am with someone who is trans, I don't know if they would be accepting of our relationship, or if it would be met with disapproval, I really don't know. My family is a bit of a wild card when it comes to such subjects.

Also, I want to apologize if I come off as being guarded or not interested, after Erika chewed up my feelings and spat them out, I am trying to be more cautious about my feelings, I am afraid of getting hurt again, and I want to protect myself well from being hurt again.

>>17073164
Continued

But once I know it is safe for me to open fully to you I will show you who I really am, and I promise that you will be safe. I have seen you suffer through so much these past 8 years, and I know you deserve better, and you deserve to have someone that will be there by your side. I want to be that person, I want to help you up when you are down, I want to stand beside you when you are proud. I am just worried that my stupid feelings are getting the best of me again. I don't want to air out all of my feelings directly to you only to get hurt again. But I will see you again later this week sweetie, until then I hope you have a wonderful week.

You broke my heart.I tried to ignore my feelings but I can't they just bottle up. I cry about you probably once a day.I feel so confused. Exhausted. Please God help me.

>>17073185
Initials?

Im suffer from depression and anxiety. i started taking meds for depression but quit after a month, i wasnt seeing a therapist while i took them. i was ok for a bit but recently ive just been feeling like giving up. i just want to get done with school so i can move out of this shithole town and start a new life. im 21 and temporarly staying with my gross, overweight mom and i have no privacy whatsoever. i try to make plans with people but they usually end up cancelling or just are too lazy to do anything. i feel so drained

>>17072816
This is vile. Fuck you. Prince would not approve of this shit.

Just broke up with the first girlfriend I ever had. She broke up with me. We'd been dating for 2 and a half years. She's given me plenty of chances and I squandered all of them. We were about to get an apartment together. I really loved her but I fucked up too many times and she couldn't take it anymore. I really regret my actions and I'm going to take this summer to really turn things around for myself physically and mentally. Even if we don't get back together I really just want her to forgive me. It's crushing me that I can't express how much her forgiveness would mean to me. But I guess its an important reminder of where I went wrong.

>>17073112
Jesus Christ. Lucky her!

>>17073202
Show me yours 1st.

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Its fine that we did not work out. You had your reasons I had mine, it was probably for the best, but you want to know wat hurt? How quickly you moved on. I thought you cared, huh, but no because less than a week after you took me to that "cute" little spot in the village and we split, you were going on a dream date with him an you even stayed at his place that night. And I had to hear about it from you as you told me how fun it was. That hurt me and that made me feel worthless. Now we havent talked in 3 months, youve moved on and i was sure I would of moved on by now too but i havent.

>>17073130
The occasional party, bar, club, or where I work. Sometimes randomly on the street.

As I said, it just happens.

>>17073133
Highlight of my 30s, so far.

>>17073249
Oh and I want my hoodie back. Red isn't your colour anyway.

>>17073245
A

>>17073226
You don't seem to realize how many women are into kink, or rough sex.

I made my gf cum so much she farted :3

>>17073212
>Prince would not approve of this shit
Too soon, asshole

Emma by Jane Austen is gonna be my literal muse for mass murder + suicide

>>17073259
You don't seem to realize how many women are sick in the head.

I feel like I'll never be capable of intimacy or opening up completely. I'm terrified that the closer I get to somebody emotionally, the more tools I am giving them to use against me. I'm not sure whether I'm more worried that there's something wrong with me or that there isn't. I feel like emotions like happiness and sadness are just transient and that my default state is quiet desperation. I want to be accepted by others but I will never be able to accept it because I can't even accept myself. I want to live life in the present, but I feel trapped by the certainties of my past and the uncertainties of my future. I want my life to be more than just marking time until I die.

>>17073259
I love it rough. I like to be choked and slapped on the face and fucked very hard.

A,M,H,I,D,A,B,D,M,R,A, L

I am a total lady killer online. Girls fall for me and do some very naughty things for me on skype. I am amazing at sexting and have made a dozen girls orgasm just with my words. They are all incredibly beautiful, beautiful beyond belief, but they either have boyfriends or live extremely far away.

I wish some of these girls lived closed to me. My life would be so much better.

I have depression and I feel the only way to cure it is to kill someone/something. I can't explain it. It's all I want to do. I have a knife ready to go with my car keys and am just looking for a reason to commit random acts of violence

>>17073102
K. D.

>>17073482
That's fucked up. This is some fucked up shit right here.

>>17073463
Join the marines.
Seriously.

Tonight some guy was talking about how great being a prostitute is and naturally I thought of you. And my freebie.

You seem to put a very high price on your ass nowadays, babe. You got your cult going on. But just because you a manlet with brown hair and a beard does not make you Charles Manson. Family, my ass.

>>17073516
Some bitches can be that way, even if they're your friend or not it's just not cool.

I am not happy. I think I have depression. It hits me like waves. One minute, I'll be having a great time, the next I'll be incredibly sad for no reason in particular. I went to the beach with a friend and it happened to me while I was laying in the sun. But I would lose so much of what I love if I admitted that. I just want to talk with someone. I don't know whats wrong with me.

I want to break up with you but I know I'm all you have had in a long time. You're selfish. You're an asshole at times. You care about your friends more than me when your friends are around. This isn't going anywhere anymore. I'm done. But it hurts me to leave because I still care and I know you care about me. My mind is wandering and I don't want to cheat. I need to leave. It's not there for me anymore.

>>17073525
Fucking hell I don't even know if I could manage that. i can hardly handle the stress of my shitty office job as it is. I know I could physically do it. I probably would just bitch out

You're toxic for me. I knew from the second I met you I couldn't have you, for multiple reasons, it would only make sense for us to then immediately click perfectly of course. I see why everyone likes you, because your different, you stand out, you're unlike everyone else and very individual, I noticed and was kind of attracted from day 1, then next thing I knew I was dreaming of you and me together. It sounds crazy, and I wish I didnt, but I think I came to love you slightly at the park that day, I've didn't even connect that well w my ex of 3 years that well at first. Fortunately, I say slightly, I didn't have too much chance to allow myself to fall too deep, because you're self destructive tendencies are killing you, and you don't want help, for me to pursue this any further will be pain, you were right you're saving me a bit probably, you are broken, and I can do better. I've known this from day 1 as well. I'll want to hit you up and probably miss you to an extent I guess, but it's over for good this time. Maybe one day we can be just friends when my head has cleared a little bit, but if you're into me that'll be too fucking bad. I'm already pretty much fully over you. Today was your last chance, I knew this would happen. You will regret not letting me in when you had the chance, I promise it

I love you. I fucking love you but you turned my friend against me and you told your parents to tell my parents to tell me we were done. I've waited ages to talk to you. To sort this shit out. I've forgiven you for everything you ever did, I've said I'll accept anything from you. I just want us to pick up the pieces and I'm willing to make any sacrifice to do that. You keep pushing me away though, and you'll lose me. You'll lose any chance you have left of ever speaking to me again. I can feel it welling up inside me. I'm about to snap. So. You want to talk to me again? Call me. Soon.

I was molested by another girl when I was 14. At age 18, I still have issues with intimacy. I'm sorry to everyone who's tried to hug or kiss me and had me recoil.

I can't believe I ate the whole thing...

I love my girlfriend. We've been together for 2 1/2 years, recently moved in together.

We're perfect for each other, atleast i think so


But i have the Urge to cheat on her.
I have no idea how i will react when the possebility of cheating presents itself to me but as of right now i would proppably jump on it the second it presents itself.

And i dont like it, i dotn want to be a cheater and i want my girlfriend to know how much i love her but osmething is off and i dont know what it is

It's been more than a year since I broke up with my abusive ex. This weekend I made out with someone I've been crushing on. I spent the night and we cuddled for hours after we woke up and made out. We are meeting again pretty soon. I'm still a bit nervous about having sex again, but I feel good.

This stage is pretty annoying though. I pretty much know she likes me but I keep going back and forth between self doubt and manic cheerfulness.

I keep displaying happiness when I realize someone seems to like me and this makes people around me think that I should go forward with it. Most people around me treat me like a king and respect me way more than I deserve. I'm a piece of shit in many, many aspects, physically, mentally and in terms of success. I'm jobless with no experience and pretty old and my body is a complete and utter mess.

Yet people keep acting as though this doesn't even matter at all and that I've done a lot for them. I sometimes feel like I'm crazy and just imagining things but it's all fucking real. No one kicks me around, no one pushes me, everyone panders to me.

So now there's this one girl who I thought actually, genuinely was attracted to me, I felt happy for a brief moment about it and people already want something to happen, yet I see myself for the piece of shit I am and I don't have anything to offer. Before I do such a thing the least I could do is get better.

The only thing I ever did for people was to be a math teacher for free. I just like math so I don't know why people blow it out of proportion.

>>17073214
You sound like my guy. Stop being so fucking useless and self centered. Want forgiveness? Do something.

>>17068897
I'm basically just rejecting my body and all its signals out of self loathing. I legitimately just hope that I get cancer at this point.

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>have autistic friend, her name was Paige
>shit went on in her life, and she had a legal name change
>repeatedly tells me to change her contact name
>change it to The Autist Formerly Known As Paige
>she sees it through an unrelated screencap
>gets mad at me
What did I do

>>17068897
The truth is... Everything I've done after you, has been to forget about you. What you mean to me. How I still love you. I long for you. The fleeting relationships. Drugs. Acquiring one addiction after the other. All so the memory of you would be erased. I wish I could be indifferent towards you. This endless cycle of... Ya know. Someone broke your heart, you broke mine. Now no one will have mine the way you did. And my pride... God I'd never tell you these things. Give you the satisfaction of knowing that you had this hold on me. I can't say anymore that I don't know what Stockholm syndrome feels like after loving you. I miss you. I'm scared I mean so little to you. The blood I would've shed for you. I still have the needle we shared. Kept in the box you gave to me.... I'm sorry. I wish I never messaged you. What's there to learn from heartbreak. I trust no one now. I guess I should thank you for that.

>>17073964
Well first of all you called her an autist

I'll be 30 soon and I've accomplished nothing but failed relationships, dropped out of college, and regret upon regret. I secretly do drugs behind my family's back and am typically always broke which begets a web of lies. If there's a God, I hope he can forgive me for what I've become.

I've been on this website the entire day, up to the point where I don't even look forward to talking to my online "friends" and even less my IRL"friends." I should have studied and I should have slept for University today, but I didn't and it's almost time for me to prepare to go. My social life has gone down the shitter since I moved here.

Nobody asks me if I'm taking my meds or if I'm going to the psychologist for such a long time now. It hurts. The last person who has asked me that was a paramedic who saw me crying near the train tracks after a panic attack. I feel so ashamed, nobody even understood how that happened to me.

Once I go travel in a month, I have the urge to fucking roast my ex and boyfriend and his shitty friends because it hurts me that he'll live on his life like he did nothing wrong at all, it hurts that he's the same person and I just to lock him up where I am staying at and slap the shit out of him once he gives me back my belongings that he's had for almost a fucking year.

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I love you so much, please come back to me. I'm sick of feeling like the feelings I have toward you are unjustified. I wish you'd get into contact with me for just one more time. Holy fuck I'm lonely.

I can't looking at the photos of you and crying It's been like 6 months now holy shit.

Just talk to me at least once, at least then I'll feel a lot better, shit.

Things are finally getting better.
My mental health, physical health, yet I'm still stuck at times thinking about you. I guess it's expected since I really thought you were the one. I'm still glad we talk, play games together and even joke like we even if it's a bit different. I still have a small wish that we would finally break this wall between us and connect on a far more personal level but alas it's only a dream. Maybe one day it will happen but this feeling will remain buried inside me at least a while longer. I hope that one day it can still happen but reality isn't that nice. So whatever happens I hope you are happy, I hope I made your life richer in some way, and I'm glad I met you.

Sincerely, C

>>17074053
my ex boyfriend*

>>17073958
If you have any family or close friends, at least sabotage your relationships with them or close it with them. My mom died of cancer and I still can't get over it because of how close she was to me, of how my gaping heart hasn't been sewn since. I know cancer is a more believable thing to self destruct from than mental illness to most, but still still, handle with some tact. Don't make others suffer insufferably because only you wanted to leave earlier. I'm sorry if this sounds plain wrong///

None of my friends or family members know how to speak english, none seem too confident about me knowing how to speak it because they have no way of measuring it by themselves (it'd be pretty much like saying that you know how to program in haskell and they think you're just playing around with the notepad)

I have no way of showing them that they can actually take my help whenever they need it, so I guess I'll have to get a degree related to it.

>>17073765
C? If it's you we have a lot to talk about.

>>17073388
Nobody cares.

>>17074061
Last Initials?

>>17073765
Plz message me one last time. I still love you and have a lot to talk about. i know I fucked up. But I'm changing my habits.

>>17073180
Initials?

>>17074163
Nobody gives a shit.

>>17074194
Ok :(

i found out i have an std(s) through symptoms (doctor tomorrow for testing). bad part is i dont know how to tell my gf

>feel lonely and reach out
>hit 3 friends up at different times, nothing big but fun to talk about
>no response
>read instantly, ignored all day
Goddamnit. This keeps happening. Why can't anyone ever just answer me? If I don't do this, I'd easily go without any sign of life for weeks.

It has been almost a year. She was never great at communication, and I'll admit I didn't notice her change. One day she just, left. Came home from work and she was gone. Everyone tells me don't try and get her back. One friend, who has been an anchor in my depresion, called her a literal ball and chain. Don't do it. But I can't stop thinking about her.
I want her in my life more than I have anything.
I just got a new job In the hospital, I'm a nurse so ofc I would. I lost my old job from depression. I just didn't care about anything. But now that I'm working again everything I felt about her is coming up again. She was there when I struggled with my old job. It was the first job I had in health care and I leaned on her hard. I'm slowly getting better. Working has helped, but I almost lost it last week. Everyone says even talking to her is a bad idea. But I can't stop thinking how much I just want her next to me.

My father called me to tell me his parents died. They were old as fuck and we didn't have contact with them, so to me it was kinda natural and I had just woken up, so I said "ok". Thing is, he didn't take it as well as I did. Now he's salty as fuck and won't talk to me.
Also I don't know the specifics, and I'm pretty fucking curious.

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I don't want to let her go because i don't believe there's anyone quite like her, and i don't want to admit i wasted my youth chasing after a girl who never loved me.

>>17074362
Hello past me, just let the bitch rot and get someone who is actually worth your time.

>>17074205
Sorry I meant to respond to something else.

>>17071416
Are you 12?

I fucking hate living in student accommodation. I fucking hate it because I'm too old, I'm not a student anymore, I have very little privacy, but most of all because I live across from the fucking kitchen. The walls in this place are fine, but the doors are fucking paper thin. And of course I live with a bunch of girls who stress-bake a lot, and are very fastidious about their dishes, so some days they're in there for hours. Running the tap, turning on their shitty music loud enough to hear in the kitchen, smashing plates and cutlery together, and talking. Always the fucking yapping with each other. Just fuck off! It's literally im-fucking-possible to have a moment of silence in this place, because it all depends on my fucking roommates deciding if they want to use the kitchen at that moment. For some reason it never bothered me, but it bothers me now.

But this is the only place I have to live. I'm a useless barely-not-NEET, and it's either this or back to mommy and daddy, who aren't exactly keen on that. And neither am I.

I just want to get out of here.

I really need a fuckbuddy. Just some guy who wants to fuck without grounding me, I don't care if he's intelligent or has the same interests or even speaks the same language. I just want to have sex. I'm clean, I keep to myself and I like to believe I'm efficient. It wouldn't become a problem at any point..
This relationship is surely driving me crazy if the thought of fucking someone random is the only thing that calms me down.

I'm terrified of the man I love. I'm terrified he's going to hurt me more than he already has. I'm terrified he's going to seriously physically hurt me one day. Probably sooner rather than later. I'm terrified he's going to leave me. I'm terrified he's going to kill me. I'm terrified he's going to stop loving me. I'm terrified he's going to hate me. I only dream about the person who raped me sometimes now. Most of those nightmares have been replaced with dreams about this man hurting me. Killing me. Instead of dreaming about me screaming no while they don't stop again, I'm dreaming of hands around my throat and bruises and black eyes and broken bones. I'm terrified of him and what he's capable of. The eyes and mouth and voice and face and body of the person who raped me and left me with PTSD, turn into the eyes and mouth and voice and face and body of the man I love. I'm fucking terrified. Everything turns into him. Every nightmare I have lately has him in it, always hurting me, emotionally and physically. I'm fucking terrified he's going to ruin my life even more than he already has. Except I'm terrified when he does, no one will believe me and everyone will hate me.
I'm fucking terrified. I'm fucking terrified. I'm fucking terrified of him.

Dear S,

Said you say you wanna be alone.
But someone loves you more than you know.
Breath slow, cause you don't know.
You don't know all the things that could set you free.
Like embracing me.

>>17074757

>I'm terrified he's going to stop loving me.

He doesn't love you. If he loved you, he wouldn't abuse you. That doesn't mean you are unworthy of love. Be loving to yourself by making a plan to get away safely. Now. Don't wait until he crosses X boundary. You don't need more proof to be sure. He's done more than enough to show you he will continue hurting you.

I can't bear being in this city
21 years is too long to stay in one place
In every single person and place I see regrets
I can't convince myself to like the people here
But she keeps me here, against my will

>>17074288
/adv/, are you magical? A few hours after posting this, 2 out of 3 responded and another few people hit me up who had been ignoring me for weeks before. Maybe it's not so bad.

wtf was that? did i enter the bizarro zone or something? I get that you usually get extremely clean cut rich folks in there but come on, what was that? why was that entire building just so... weird? felt like a fog of condescension hanging heavy in the air.

lol "I say, what is this ridiculous fellow doing with large greasy parts in here? what a savage."

anyone with that reaction is a sheep and has so narrowed their life as to be just... I cannot fathom how useless of a mindset that is that you look at the act of working on your own vehicle on that level and find it distastful and borderline disgusting. "eww why are you doing that?" cause I can, I have the skills and technical prowess to do it, why aren't you? why are you allowing yourself to be forced into a way of acting because you don't want to foster skills within yourself.

the fuck is society doing? I need to find people that haven't lost their shit completely.

>>17068897
hey man, didn't mean to hurt your feelings. After I quit my job I just kind of went downhill from there. I'm sorry I stopped replying to your texts and I'm sorry I stopped trying to hang out with you. You weren't the only one I did this too but I feel like I hurt you the most.

In a way I wanted to see how much you cared. And it was exactly how much I thought.

Hope to see you again sometime.

I wish my mom was still alive so i could tell her im sorry for being such a fucking useless son.

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I am an anxious wreck most of the time. I always have been but it's now fucking with my life. I resigned from a new job because of it. My grades have fallen significantly because of it. I am scared about my immediate future. I have no intention to kill myself.

I never have the momentum to see anything through. I get so close and let it get away. What is my contingency plan? I don't know that I have the energy to scrape back together what remains of my ambition.

I am sad.
I am a sad sack.

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>>17075380

For weeks my life has been pretty much nothing but torture i hate it and myself and you.

Yeah, probably going to do it tonight some way or another. I hope my Mom doesn't come home so I can at least have the time to plan it out properly..

>>17074757
Let's look at the pros and cons of this relationship.
Cons:
>terrified of man you love
>terrified he will hurt you more
>terrified of serious physical arm
>terrified he will kill you
>terrified of what he's capable of
>dream of how he has hurt you
>have nightmares
>terrified he will ruin life
>terrified no one will believe you and everyone will hate you when they find out

Pros:
>...
>terrified he will stop loving you?
That's not even a pro. Get out of this relationship immediately. If you seriously need help there are resources where you are or I can get you out myself. I'm a girl and won't kill you.

Ten days in a row now without masturbating over the girl that I have a crush on.
That's the longest I've managed in the year that I've been keeping track.
Yay.

I am starting to see girls as playthings instead of people, so that is how you are supposed to look at it.

A month ago I had it all. Now I have nothing. I even lost all interest in eating and hygiene because who cares.

>>17075505
Really, now?

>>17075608
Duh... go back to tumblr

I don't know if I am a fagget

So I'm friendly with this girl and she's always had guy problems since a lot of guys treat her as an easy fuck.

We're talking and she mentions her new boyfriend. They've known each other for about a week and they've fucked.

Maybe this is why guys see her as an easy fuck.

>>17075714
This right here. These ideas and feelings would have been UNHEARD OF in the 90's. No one judged women for having sex sooner or later. Nobody cared.

This is just weird to me. Weird. WEIRD. Again, middle-aged people are supposed to ENVY young people, not pity them. And pity you I most certainly do. Shit.

I'm lonely. Very lonely.

I wish I had some friends.

This is probably screwing with me more than it should, but....

Usually with everyone she is quite attentive during the speeches. But for some reason today she seemed to be avoiding eye contact with me. She was focusing on the others with no issue it would seem.

>>17075667
Great, I'll be expecting a favor tomorrow.

I'm using google earth to look for someone's adress based on the surroundings of the picture i have, very hard but fun.

>>17075813

There were no feelings expressed within my previous post. There was a concept used (easy fuck) but there were no feelings expressed and the language used would not suggest otherwise.

There's nothing to pity.

She says she loves me but she's not in love with me, and that I'm just going to hurt myself more.

I knew this all along but I still want to believe that it could work out.

>>17075679
You are. Bend over

man, all I wanted was to drive my car to go get a milkshake today. what in the absolute fuck was all that bullshit that got in the way? didn't even get my milkshake, just a mcflurry... don't even think there's any real dairy in this shit... nothing should melt to foam, that's just not right.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nMpsiVPQzU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZwP7H2Fxn4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRsRQWq4CBk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHU6ZRQJ50Q

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gB2iWln0ls

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zX2h-GPppp0

hey mom, maybe if you gave a shit, I wouldn't try so hard to make things so dramatic so you might actually get how shit things are getting.

well there's a realization, guess I'm just gonna stop talking to you then. and you've got dad doing the same shit. theres a part of me that I'm beginning to feel less bad about that wishes your drunk ass would leave me alone and not talk to anyone important. you're toxic and the way you treat people is disgusting. grandma would never have approved and btw, you didn't exactly do anything to fix that did you? need to stop projecting your shame.

#real talk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQ9_TKayu9s

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>>17075815
Same anon

>>17076182
I like being alone more than trying to pursue my goals while simultaneously having to navigate other people's lives.

"I can't hang this week I've gotta work, a lot"
*cue passive aggressive shitstorm because they think I must really hate them and be doing shit with other people and fuck me, right?*

no thank you. I don't have the time or the patience.

its overrated unless you find those rare people that just, like, things work with and they aren't swayed by the dramatic people and stuff you know? unfortunately I've found that people that i get along with really well tend to have a drive that means they're predisposed to moving cross country if it means better things for them.

the best people are fleeting, friends come and go, and often times if you stay friends for too long you make enemies.

go do stuff, and let the good people float into your life. remember though that it's highly likely they'll float back out. friends aren't the end all be all of existence, no relationship is.

its when i start giving up hope , you appear. You need me just as much as i need you, im just waiting for you to crack first and admit it.

you do have looks but i love the way you think and the bitterness in your humor.

>>17075970
Are you autistic, simply not very bright, or have you become defensive because of repressed feelings?

He pities your generation, much as I do. There is more to your initial post than you realize, and I do not understand how you reason that his pity requires your emotion.

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:( car why are you sick? I fixed you, see! vroom vroom vroom squeeel.... why are you sick again?

guys I think my car is... is... is dying. she was fixed for about an hour and then she started making bad ticking noises and the front sway bar fell off.

I love my car like a pet, shits rough.

>>17076244
Can I join the pity party?

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I love you so much, but these thoughts I keep having are terrifying the living hell out of me. I wish I could just tell you, but I don't want to make you worry or stress you out even more than you already are.

God I love you so much. I don't want to lose you. My anxiety might be worse these days because of this relationship, but I haven't been this happy and hopeful in so long. It's corny as fuck and cliche to say this, but it really does feel like you complete me.

I'm so fucking scared.

>>17076413
Initials?

>>17076430
You're definitely not who I'm dating. They're busy right now and wouldn't be on 4chan let alone this board.

Are you in a similar situation with someone?

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senpai

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Holy shit I hate you.

But I hate myself more because if you texted me, there's a chance I'd reply and it hurts to know that.

>>17076434
I'm in as similar situation and I'm not them

>>17068897
I have an ever-growing bloodlust

>>17076434
Yes...he gets on 4chan but I don't know about this board. I keep getting on here hoping I will see something from him. But he probably wouldn't waste his time on me like that.

Why did you scream at me for taking a twenty minute shower, why was it a problem that I sat in the dark for 7 minutes because I don't wanna put clothes on me when im still damp. I cleaned the bathroom

You called me a bitch for taking a little extra time to myself in the shower on my birthday and then because I took too long to dry off you took my phone

Told me I was addicted because I wanted to talk to my friends

Tell me im not going to amount to anything because of a few mistakes on my test

Tell me I'm never gonna be happy with what an awful manipulative bitch I am now

None of my friends were available to see me on my birthday and you cant even pay for a 5$ pizza for the one that did show up

You make me hate myself

I shouldnt be sobbing alone in bed because I took a 20 minute and laughed while I was in there

I wish you didnt hate me

>>17076549
You a guy or grill?

>>17076549
Girl

It sucks to say I still have feelings for you. I've been trying to deny it for a month, but I dreamt of you last night and now I can't lie to myself anymore. The logical part of me knows your a bitch and that I'm better off without you, but the other side of me knows you mean so much to me and that I'm in pain without you.

>>17068987
If you stop thinking like that, all of those problems will only be about half as bad.

>>17076567
Ah yeah, not me I'm afraid. I'm a faggot.

I fucking hate drug dealers

Weed should be legal

I am sorry for all this. I can't help but to feel as if it is somehow my fault to a degree.

This all was set in motion two weeks ago when I asked you to lunch, but your asshole friend felt the need to tag along, and then it got weird. I wish I said something then. But no, I just was passive. Then I asked you to get coffee later that week, but you gave a run around sort of answer as not knowing when you are free to do so.

So I left it just at that for a week, then I began to talk to you again, but about random stuff. Now today, it seems as if a switch was flipped and you are unable to look at me at all. I noticed that when I was giving my speech in class you were looking straight ahead and not looking at the speaker as you would usually do.


I don't know if you are Disgusted with, just having a shitty day, or if you are interested in me or what.

I hope that by the end of the Semester, that their maybe some sort of closure to this ordeal

I've been having an identity crisis for four years. I think I'm depressed, but no body that I know cares about my well-being very much to notice that I haven't showered for weeks. I like feeling wasted and I like being fucked like a slut, by people who also have no particular interest in comforting me. But hey, I MUST have asked for it at some point and brought it all upon myself. Anyway, who else is going to feel sorry for me, if not myself.

I'm a NEET with crippling social anxiety, no friends and a family that is starting to hate me. I tried going to school last year but I gave up because I kept having panic attacks and I couldn't even walk into a classroom. Since then, it has gotten progressively worse and worse.

Throughout my childhood, I was bullied and I think it fucked with my head big time. It made me withdrawn and depressed. Oh, and I was also raised by a single mother, I have zero idea who my father is and I'm a closeted gay.

Tonight, my only friend -- the only person who brought any light into my life basically told me that I'm nothing to him. I just don't know any more. I don't wanna die alone. I feel like I've fallen into an abyss that's impossible to get out of.

>>17076598
Oh, sad.

>>17076470
Initials?

Give me a reason to text you.

>>17068897
I hate myself and don't know why.

>>17076680
Got a steam? I'll be your friend

>>17076832
really? it's staticmeshwav

I know that I'm going to stop contact with all of my friends over the summer. I'm not sure that I can even consider them to be good friends. The only two friends I've ever liked have both moved and I know that I'll never get to see them again. It's just hard meeting people who were truly right for you and then having them ripped away, leaving you stumbling around with people who you cannot truly connect with. I don;t deserve this and I'm just so angry. People wonder why I'm not very nice and I often do the same. I think it's because I'm just so lonely.

>>17074041
You're just finding your footing. It may have taken a little long but you'll be able to do it. Please don't give up on yourself.

My brother is schizophrenic and I hate him and myself

>>17076838
Didn't find anyone in the search for "staticmeshwav"

>>17076838

I'll add you too, man

>>17076770
I'm pretty sure I have. You apparently don't have much to say.

>>17076890
Is your brother E

>>17076892
try doing it through steamcommunity/id/ instead

>>17076895
yay, i will be on later

It's so hard to not text him. I want to see how he's doing, but I know he just wants space and is probably going through some bipolar depression. I just wish things could have gone better.

I know a big part of it is sexual. I keep trying to masturbate to get the "urge" out and not message him, but it ends up making me feel more sad because I'd rather be fucking him.

Girls masturbate their pain away too.

>>17077458
Initials?

>>17077458
Newsflash: This is NOT love. I've had love, and it's nothing like the bullshit you're describing. Sorry, but dude fucking with your head. If he wanted to fuck you, he'd be fucking you. That's how it works.

>>17075404
Please don't, kiddo

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I really am sorry. But I hope you're sorry too. We need to discuss this, but nothing has changed, I love and miss you.

I just want to talk to you.
I miss you.

>>17075978
I love him, but I don't know if I am in love with him anymore, and he'll be the one hurting me, like he always does.

>>17076583
Initials

>>17076903
Maybe.

What's your initial?