ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

>they seem interested
>they're even the ones who initiate the most sometimes
>then suddenly nothing, and when you go to them they're clod and give one word answers

Have you ever been the one who's suddenly cold? Why?

I just don't get why these things happen. It seems to happen to a lot of people, leaving them puzzled. It may be happening to me right now and I'm wondering what happens in those who do that.

>talking to this girl I met at a concert
>she lives in another town
>keep wondering how much I should talk to her

>if I talk to her every time I want to, and propose to see each other too often, she might think I'm clingy
>if I don't talk to her often she might forget me and lose interest

She used start conversations and it flowed really well, and then suddenly it's cold.

I don't know what to do. I've been in a situation like this before and from what i remember we just did whatever we felt like and it worked out. We grew very attached.
But this whole "dating" thing is filled with advices like "seem detached, don't be too present, have a life and let them crave your attention".

It's annoying and I hate mind games. And i'd hate to mess it up because I didn't understand "the game".

There's this girl I've wanted to go out with (we've known each other in highschool and I took her to prom) for a while, and we went one one day a while back, and I don't think it went well, but she agreed to go again sometime. Even tho we agreed on a time, she never got back to me. Whatever right?

After trying to instigate conversation (nothing weird just boring shit like "hey" or something relevant) I matched her on tinder. Because she never got back to me I figured "fuck it" and messaged her on tinder "nice butt" and she never said anything to me after that.

Three months later she responded "thanks anon" and I said "12/10, hearty chuckle" and then she said "if I can make anon laugh, it makes my day"

later she even initiated conversation with me by sending me a text, and we've talked a bit here and there. I'm not really sure what to make of this. People have told me she's awkward, and I don't know if she was flirting with me or just be weird.

I'm a newfag, so if this is not where I post this, sorry. Just getting used to it. I normally lurk.

>everytime I meet a guy my first thought is "hey, they seem cool/not cool"
>everytime I meet a girl my first thought is "hey, she seems cute/hot/ugly"

Uuuuuuuugggggggh why does this happen? Is tumblr right? Are men naturally inclined to be rapists? Do girls do this to? This will really get in the way of platonic shit

>>17068518
It's hard to say. We're not in her head.

I'd say clarify by asking her on a casual thing. Like a drink to catch-up or see in the OP for others ideas.

That way you'll know wether or not you can hope for anything.

A girl I once liked rejected me, then matched me on Tinder months later and talked to me. But when i tried to make a move on that she had the cope out excuse of "I use Tinder to talk to my friends and have fun with them when I talk to strangers".
It was a lie, and I knew that even before she admitted it to a common friend.

All I'm saying is : don't give yourself any ideas and try something clear.

>>17068522
people have preconceived notions and biases. first impressions sometimes overcome them. sometimes not. this is the world you and I live in

Need some help.

Boyfriend is possibly still keeping his PlentyOfFish profile up, I suspect he's just hidden it when he told me that he'd delete it. I google his username, and it still shows up. When you delete a POF profile, does every trace of it disappear altogether, or would it still show up in search results from other sites?

>>17068569
How long have you been dating?

>>17068598
We haven't been official for that long (little over a week), but we've been seeing each other for about 4 months. He had multiple dating profiles, one of which I found was still active, and he denied that it was him logging into it no matter what I said. He's shown no concern over supposedly getting hacked. He deleted the account after claiming to have no memory of creating it, said his phone remembered the password.

I caught him in a questionable situation prior to this too, which is really making me wonder if he's planning on cheating.

Girls, is a manly man allowed to like Backstreet Boys, NSync and Britney Spears? Would you consider him less manly because of this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Gl2QnHNpkA

>>17068626
Confront him about it. Lets think here, you found it was still active, and he wasnt concerned about it being "hacked". And lets be honest, random ass shit like that doesnt get hacked a whole lot... he's lieing

>>17068522
Guys just operate different than girls. Same thing happens to me man, sort of like how you cant look at words without reading them. Plus looks are the first thing we notice about people anyway

So I dropped by a friends place to drop something off, but had to leave like 5 minutes later. A friend of a friend caught my eye and seemed pretty interesting. Would it be weird to ask them about her?

>>17068964
No, that's fine. If you only liked typically "manly" stuff, I might think you were faking it in an attempt to impress people.

>>17069019
He fucking refused to admit to it, no matter how hard I pressed or what I said. I think he's a compulsive liar.

He said he'll leave me if I keep trying to catch him cheating, but I have legitimate concerns that he keeps minimizing.

>>17069074
This all sounds a bit sketchy. I wouldnt be surprised if he's trying to keep his options open if he wants to grapevine out.

I mean either someone is stealing his identity or hacking into his account in the previous example according to what he says, that's not something most people would leave laying down.

>>17068569
>Boyfriend is possibly still keeping his PlentyOfFish profile up
Wait, hold up, people still use POF? That's the real red flag here

>>17069036
No, that seems fine if you aren't too creepy or weird about it.

>>17068480
Okay, I asked a girl what she liked to draw on Facebook, and she replied with this:

>I prefer to draw faces ,people . Faces of my crushes :D <3 lol.hhahahaha.

Two things:
1: Is this a hint that she likes me, or is this some friendzone balogna?
2: We've only been talking for like a week. Would it be too forward to respond with something along the lines of "ooh. Well, then; I can't wait to see what the next drawing will be! ;)" ?

>girlfriend has been having an extremely stressful month
>her best friend was diagnosed with cancer
>BOTH of her family dogs died
>her parents are calling her a disappointment

She is taking all of this out on me. I literally can't win for losing here. We've been together for a year.

I try to talk and be supportive and she gets short and says she need space. I be less talkative than normal and she gets mad that I'm being quiet and must hate her too.

I really love this girl but h o l y shit I am about to get frustrated. If it was just 2 of the above 3 I'd tell her she's being unacceptable but I don't know if that'd make me a dick.

Thoughts girls and or guys?

>>17069203
Seems to me like she's in a bad place and doesn't know how to cope.
That's a red flag.
I don't mean to be a jerk, but abort ship. You can still be her friend, of course, but something tells me that her character is the type to reject you completely if you leave

It says "not sure if she likes you? Ask her out" in the OP. Does that mean she HAS to like me (in a romantic/sexual/whatever way) first in order for us to go out?

>>17069208
I want to say it's because it's a lot of really bad things happening at once. Normally she's as sweet as sin but I'm really losing patience for constantly being shat on

Asked a random girl out to prom, and she is relatively a stranger. She said yes. Does this mean anything more than she'll just be my prom date? Just curious, I know it probably means nothing

Boyfriend's younger sister is very sick, what can I do to make him feel better?

>>17069121
He absolutely refused to admit to looking, no matter how much I pleaded or begged or tried to get him to come out with it. He held onto the "I'm being hacked/it wasn't me" excuse for dear life.

I catfished him on OKC a few nights ago, because even after we had established a relationship. He had told me that he was an admin prior to this, but I still had my suspicions after I had deleted my account. I logged into an account that I had made a couple years ago and asked him if he wanted to bang with a hot chick's profile picture, his response was;

"What did you have in mind? ;)"
"Already had a few drinks is all I'm saying, wine and dine first, or straight to the naughty fun?"

At that point, I was too blind with rage to continue the shtick any further. I'm SO upset with myself for not keeping it up, because I could've gathered undeniable evidence, but I called him right away and bitched.

At first, his response was, "I wasn't going to do anything", then when I asked about the "wine and dine" thing, he said that he thought she was a camgirl and that he was going to "endorse" her before watching her. When I didn't buy that, he used the whole admin excuse and switched to "I suspected the account was a catfish and was trying to bust it. Generic stock photo, hardly any info, account just created today..."

Except, I knew it wasn't. I made it two years before. I called him out on it after he had kept using the "trying to bust the catfish" excuse and he told me that he had mistook "just signed in" as "just created" after having used the "Just created" excuse multiple times.

No matter what I do, he's not going to admit to me that he was trying to fuck someone else. But...I really don't want to break up with him.

>>17069192
COME ON GIRLS ANSWER MY QUESTION REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>17069203
I think anyone in her position would be really unstable. But there are limits to what's acceptable. I'd just lay out what you've already said here, and if she refuses to realize shes being irrational there's not much you can do aside from moving on or taking the abuse.

>>17069236
Too many lies man. It would be foolish to hope hes going to start being honest one day.

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Women...
Do you prefer guys to beat around the bush trying to find out if you're single or just asking you directly?

Why don't girls who never text back just say they aren't interested? I know most dudes would appreciate that.

>>17069215
>Does that mean she HAS to like me (in a romantic/sexual/whatever way) first in order for us to go out?
Only a little. She just has to be interested enough to want to get to know you better, she doesn't need strong feelings for you just to go out and have coffee.

>>17069236
You're really stupid if you stay with him. He knows that he has you in his hands.

>>17069225
>Does this mean anything more than she'll just be my prom date?
Maybe, maybe not. Just talk to her like a person when you see her and get to know her better.

Reposting because I'm impatient and I want my damned answer
Okay, I asked a girl what she liked to draw on Facebook, and she replied with this:

>I prefer to draw faces ,people . Faces of my crushes :D <3 lol.hhahahaha.

Two things:
1: Is this a hint that she likes me, or is this some friendzone balogna?
2: We've only been talking for like a week. Would it be too forward to respond with something along the lines of "ooh. Well, then; I can't wait to see what the next drawing will be! ;)" ?

>>17069253
Because the other half will rage that she's a whore for not being interested.

>>17069269
Why would that be a hint she likes you? Has she drawn your face?

Of course it wouldn't be too fucking forward to ask if you can see her drawings. Jesus

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>>17069253
Women hate confrontation, so many of them will hope the guy "figures it out" by ignoring him. The kicker is it usually just makes things worse.

>>17069274
The issue with that is it just makes the reasonable half resentful. If people are going to be retarded over a reasonable response let them make their own hell.

>>17069192
>>17069237
>>17069269
pls respond

>>17069281
I didn't ask if I could see the drawing.
Read again. I said I can't wait to see what the NEXT drawing will be.
If she only draws her crushes, and I'm saying I'm excited for the next drawing, the implication should be clear
Jesus Christ you can't read.

>>17069299
You didn't answer the question at all bucko. Why would that be a hint she likes you

>>17069288
because women are parasites on men who work to buy them shit so the capital flows and stocks fluctuate up and down her vagina: the microcosm of capitalism

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>>17069325
Ok friendo

>>17069325
Men did create the system absolving women of blame for the farce of our current gender relations. The solution is simple but almost impossible.

Men must resist their natural urges to interact with women until she is compelled to serve man once more, per MotherNature's intent.

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I can be pretty good at getting girls to be touchy and seemingly really into me at parties and such.I can be good at conversing with girls and hear things like like your cool or funny in conversation.

But i am bad at escalating it past that, i don't really chase girls and i feel like I just end up making them feel like im a friendly conversationalist, or that im not actually interested.

Once you have a girl basically focused on you and then being touchy or laughing a lot. What is a good next step. Sometimes i have the confidence to just go for it, but i can come off clumsy. I am 19 and a virgin still, i've passed up a few opportunities. Partly because i'm nervous and partly because im oblivious. I'm a pretty good looking person, more on the cute side (i look extra young).

I don't usually have the balls to tell a girl to come to a room or go to hook up. Or once i get alone with a girl i just keep a conversation going. Any tips?

I don't need to be escalating to sex but making sure i get a hook up or phone number would be nice.

Females:

So I posted like a week ago about this girl I met at a Smash 4 tournament.

So, like, the week after, this Thursday there was another one that I went to, one of the guys from there showed up, and I low key asked about her, but he caught on and let me in on a few things. He also invited me to go watch a tourney that they were having at their college and she was going to be there that was on Friday. I said yes

So I went and I had a good time, but I only talked to her twice. I can't tell if she's shy around me, but when we talked twice she was giving like these weird short answers, but whenever I was playing a friendly or just hanging and talking with someone else, I'd notice her looking back at me and then looking away really fast. She also did this when she had a match at the tournament, when she lost, I saw that she was looking at me and looking away really fast. I asked a few of my female friends and one of them said that's good and it shows interest in what I'm doing. Another didn't know, but said I should give her space and make her want me and not be too available. So I'm waiting a day or 2 to see if she reaches out to me. Whats should my next move be if she doesn't?

>>17068569

This is the thing about dating sites:

1.) They don't delete you information, ever. Even if you tell them to, a copy of it is still stored somewhere.

2.) They have free reign over any information you input. All of your pictures, all of your text, all of it is re-usable by them.

3.) Reading the rest of what you've said to the other anon: Break up. Completely ignoring whether he may or may not be planing to cheat, if you're going this crazy and it's causing this many problems only A SINGLE ONE WEEK in to being in a relationship--the time when a relationship is supposed to be one of the absolutely least complicated/easiest points that it will ever be--straight up, you're doomed to fail and things will only get worse. You guys have something about you that is fundamentally incompatible.

>>17069215
>It says "not sure if she likes you? Ask her out" in the OP. Does that mean she HAS to like me (in a romantic/sexual/whatever way) first in order for us to go out?

Other anon already answered it, just reaffirming:

A date is not a commitment to a relationship. All a date is is two people agreeing to a private meeting to get to know one another and gauge whether there's any romantic potential. Hell, some times a date is just a meeting between two people to have fun--and actually that's the best and purest mentality to have

Go to the date purely to do something you find fun, and if they find it fun, and their fun combines with yours to turn a "good" time--that you could have with anyone--in to a "great" time--that you can only have because you were with this particular person, that's when you know you've met someone worthwhile. If you don't end up having that "great" time, at least you enjoyed yourself, and you both learned that that potential isn't there.

>>17069479
Fuck her already. Don't think just fuck if she likes you she will put up with it. If not, move on. It's not hard.

Attractive girls only,

Would you let an 18 year old KV fuck you for a healthy sum

>>17069529
>Attractive girls only,
Doesn't sound like you're in a position to be picky, kiddo.

>>17069533
Why

How do I reconcile being an old fashioned man who believes in life long monogamy and in building a husband and wife relationship with living in a world that no longer believes in the same things I do? Women don't seem to want the same kind of relationship that I want, and I'm not one to sacrifice what I believe in so I can be accepted by others

>>17069638
I'm in the same boat with you.
As a Christian, I believe:
>No sex before marriage; I'm a virgin, and expect the same of my partner
>Dress Modestly
>Lifelong relationships
>etc. etc.

>>17069533
I'm wealthy and young, I will be as picky as I like

>>17069638
Do you mention this to women on the first date or something?

>>17069652
Why wouldn't you?
What - do you want to wait for them to decide they like you so that they'll lie to get what they want?
No. You tell them what you want upfront before they have an opinion of you so that if they disagree, they'll instead just fuck off instead of ruining your life for their own happiness.
If they agree and you have a second date, boom! You've got a keeper!

>>17069652
I bring it up early into my relationships with women, yes. It's best to be forthright about it I think

>>17069657
Found your problem: you're scaring them off with talk of commitment on the first date.

>>17069660
Talking about it early in the relationship is important, I agree, but that's not the same as doing it on the first date.

>>17069647
Since you brought it up, I also feel uncomfortable with talking to a woman that's had sex with a lot of people. I get mocked a lot for caring about that

>>17069495
Aye, anyone?

What is the easiest way to have sex with a woman, besides prostitution?

I'm apparently so terrible at sex that it led to a guy thinking he's asexual, I feel vaguely insulted and have no idea where to go with this. Do straight guys ever get bored and sorely disappointed by sex?

>>17069679
How soulless are you in bed?

>>17069529
Yes but only if you let my twin sister join in.

>>17069679
Not exactly, if there's a hint of it I would start going down my list of fwb.

>>17069683
How does one measure that? Soullesness I mean. All I know is that I hate losing control, so I try to blow or jerk them off because that won't involve me getting too turned on. Unfortunately, I would infer that I'm not very good at either of those activities.

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Is this true?

>>17069695
I can't blame you, I hate that feeling of powerlessness or loss of control myself. But responding by giving a rough hand job is a weird way of going about things. You should just not have sex if you feel like that

>>17068522
>hitting on girls at a Smash 4 tournament

nigga you know that male to female ratio is fucked

>>17069706
As in, I actually still like the experience despite the fact that I deliberately tone it down by myself. Maybe i get my enjoyment from the other person liking it, which is why I'm so stung by someone not liking it.

I feel like experience might help but I have no idea how to go about it in a conservative society in which you either disgust others by offering, or hire a shady illegal hooker who might give you an STD

>>17069679
>>17069695
I like it when a woman is not afraid to show me what she wants so that she can really get off and fuck like there's no tomorrow. You strike me as the completely opposite.

Try fucking him too, instead of just getting fucked by him.

>>17069703
"Nice guy" has too broad a definition that can mean different things to different people. Maybe the poster was the kind of girl who has really narrow/high standards and everyone else is mocked as a "nice guy", or maybe she's referring to the kind of ultra-creep with a flight of double chins, who anyone would be justified in disliking. Can't really tell.

>texting girl
>tell her I need to sleep
>goodnight ma friend
>friend
>friend
Is it over?

>>17069703
Yes.

>>17069679

*shrug* sexual chemistry is one of those things that you either have or you don't.

My first two partners, I was completely bored (the first one in particular felt insanely empty). The second was even my best friend--who I thought was pretty attractive--and it still felt pretty meh.

My third partner however, she was just a one night stand it was probably one of the most tame and shortest sexual experiences I've ever had (she came after like 15 minutes so I never got to, and it was purely missionary), but the next morning I woke up grinning like an idiot feeling like I was walking on air.

We just had insane sexual chemistry--to the point where even being around each other almost felt intoxicating (literally i could tell she'd just walked by somewhere by the light headed sensation i'd get from the lingering smell of her shampoo in the air).

Don't take it too harshly, some people are just more compatible tan others, and people with bad chemistry exist as well as ones with neutral, and great chemistry.

Is it possible to sleep with a guy on the first date and not have him think I'm a slut? How do I do it?

>>17069720
All I want is to make them like it, I don't want my own body to feel too much physical pleasure because my mind hates being usurped.

So you're saying the woman's appearance of enjoyment and whether she orgasms, can affect the guy's experience as well? I thought I just had to get them off and they wouldn't mind, I made the wrong assumption, hmm.

>>17069738
Just tell him
>normally I wouldn't do this...

>>17069738
No, because it actually does make you a slut. It makes both of you sluts though, so you can share the guilt and the shame together

>>17069722
Nah. That's inconclusive. I stayed next door to two chicks who call me "friend" and have been fucking one of them while she tells me the other has a crush on me.
So unless your girl explicitly says she only thinks of you as a friend, you can't really tell what she is thinking, say you two don't know each other much like in my case, she thinks calling you friend will bring you two closer. Inconclusive.

>>17069740
You're Spocking too hard about this. No two men and no two women are alike. There's no rulebook to this stuff. It's more a matter of intuition that calculation

>>17069732
It could be that, it would make a good consolation. I never thought of it because I do have differing levels of enjoyment each time, but it was never a negative or boring experience for me. The guy who got so bored is also a best friend, I wonder if such things play in.

>>17069743
lol
if i had a dollar for every time ive heard that i could retire tomorrow

>>17069740
>So you're saying the woman's appearance of enjoyment and whether she orgasms, can affect the guy's experience as well?
Yes, very much so. Otherwise i may as well be fucking a fleshlight. There's no bigger turnoff than a "get it over with"-impression from the girl.
Best sex i ever had was her riding me while she rubbed herself and came so hard it felt like her vagina was massaging my diamond boner.

>>17069749
Alright. That's reassuring.
I've been pretty flirty with her, and we've only been chatting for a week.
There was one time where she sent a message and I read it, but didn't reply for a while, and she sent a second message going "what are you doing right now?"
So, if this is inconclusive, then I can safely assume I've still got a fair chance when combined with the above.

>>17069750
>you're spocking too hard
That's why I'm on 4chan. Oh well, guess everything in this aspect of life is a slightly frustrating series of hit and misses then.

>>17069740
>So you're saying the woman's appearance of enjoyment and whether she orgasms, can affect the guy's experience as well?
Yeah, sex is a team activity. If I just wanted to orgasm I could just as easily masturbate. It's not just about getting off, but enjoying the act itself too. That mindset where you're actively trying to avoid being turned on is going to really break the mood.

>>17069703
People are getting ridiculous with how they're trying to fit everyone into these nice little words.

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>>17069743
>>normally I wouldn't do this...
duly noted, now I have one more test to spot sluts.

>>17069743
No one actually believes that.

Girls,

Here's the deal, I'm an 18 year old KV and there's this girl who wants my cock bad but she's kinda ugly (I have high standards) what do

Girls, how much of an issue is it if a guy is circumcised? Specifically want to hear from girls where it's uncommon (so not the US)

>>17069765

Definitely remain chaste and pure if you think you're too good for her.

>>17069765
lel

>>17069769
hmm will she be offended if i ask her to wear a mask/balaclava when sex

>>17069777
Invest in one of those Oculus Rift virtual reality head set, play some POV porn while she ride you. Amazing experience I tell you, you might even grow to like her and your head set.

>>17068504
>>17068493
Bumping these two since they got no reply.

>>17069670
Please?

>>17069777
Ever heard of doing her from the back? Yes, the mask would offend her. You can try to make it a kink thing though by blindfolding yourself

>>17069767
>Girls, how much of an issue is it if a guy is circumcised? Specifically want to hear from girls where it's uncommon (so not the US)
Guy from Germany here. Obviously not a girl, but i can tell you by proxy: In my experience, girls around here don't care at all, but most think it looks more "aesthetic" than being uncut.

>>17069767
Nobody actually cares, in fact the most American-made product I've encountered is this kind of circumcision anxiety and pointless debates over it, perhaps due to the practice's prevalence in your country.

>>17068480
Married dudes of /adv/:

Asked this in a previous thread, but only got a single reply.

How did you know the time was right to propose and how did you propose?

I'm approaching a point in my life where marriage us becoming a serious prospect. my gf would prefer we marry insantly, but something inside me wants to "get the timing right", so to speak.

I am sure about wanting to marry her, I'm simply looking for some guidance I guess.

>>17069805
I really didn't make a big deal out of it, just whispered in her ear while we lay in bed.

>>17069803
>circumcision anxiety
I'd be pretty anxious if my parents cut part of my dick off for no reason when I was a baby.

>>17069805
Not married, but I suggest proposing in a private or sucluded place. Proposing in public with a lot of people around puts a lot of pressure on the girl.

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>>17069805
>getting married
>in 2016

>>17069767
Not from the US. I'd think it was unusual, but it's not a dealbreaker or anything.

>>17069765
Whatever you want to do

>>17069820
Another anon here, marriage now is just about making it easier for the courts to decide what to do with any resulting children in the event of separation. Otherwise, if you're sure you would hate said resulting children, or just won't have them to begin with, then just go ahead with unmarried

>>17068480
is it weird to rest my elbow on people's shoulders?

>>17069795
A E S T H I C

>>17069820
There was a survey done here a few weeks ago, and the majority of guys answered that they wanted to get married. You're of a minority opinion

To girls

If a male friend that you wanted to sleep with, but not get into a relationship with told you that he had feelings for you, would that make you not want to have sex with him anymore?

>>17069872
/adv/ is full of cucks so that makes sense.

>>17069872
I think almost everyone likes the idea of marriage. The problem is the fantasy often falls apart.

>>17069876
Yeah. Definitely.

I was talking to a girl in a bar a few weeks ago, thing were going great, plenty of kissing and a bit of groping. As part of the flirting, she said she was on the pill. Later on, when we ended up at my place, when I was putting a condom on, she said "don't you trust me?" I kind of just laughed and continued to put it on and we had some great sex, but ever since then I can't get the thought out of my head that if I automatically use a condom, the girl will think I think she's dirty.

Do all girls think like this? At what stage in a relationship do you stop using condoms? Halp

>>17069923
I would NEVER have sex without condom with someone I don't know extremely well.
Before stopping using the condom, I waited for around 6 months after we got exclusive and I asked him to get tested.

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Can any female give some input on this?

When a man is similar to you, similar as in - laughing at same stuff, saying the exact sentences simultaneously, thinking of the same things in particular situations - is that a good thing, or not?

Because you know what they say, opposites attract. And the only long term relationship I had was with a girl who was really different from me. And yet it lasted.

>>17069936
did you get tested too?

>>17069941
Of course, but I get tested every 6 months.

>>17069923
>At what stage in a relationship do you stop using condoms?

You both need to get std tested.

You both need to trust each other not to cheat.

And THEN you need to have a big long awkward conversation about it all, and pray to god that she is happy to go on the pill, otherwise it has all been for nothing. Be prepared for answers like "but I like the way it is," "I don't see why I should have to start taking the pill", "If you don't pay for condoms, then we don't have sex" etc

>>17069953
why so often anonette? especially since you sound pretty careful about protection.

>>17069939
I think I want a compromise - not someone who is extremely similar to me, but not the opposite.

My closest male friend is exactly the same as me. We have the same sense of humour, share a lot of hobbies and interest, have really similar personality, same mindset, etc. We understand each other without talking. We study the same thing.
We would have a shitty relationship. We both suck at talking about our feelings, we hate staying in touch, we are annoying and mean, we hate being sweet to each other, etc.

My boyfriend is similar to me. We share a lot of interests, same sense of humour. Our personalities are pretty different: he's more sensitive and calm, kind of sweet. He is super patient with me when we have to talk about our feelings. We kind of compensate each other.

I think it's really important to be with someone similar to me mentally, but who compensates me when it comes to personality.

>>17069965
Work in healthcare + I have some health problems that make it extremely easy for me to catch diseases.
I prefer keeping myself safe and get tested often, since me and my boyfriend have sex without condom.

>>17070003
Another anon here, I think it's not only degree of similarity, it also boils down to what kind of similarities and differences. I have some extroverted friends (which makes them quite unlike me) but I just can't stand that quality in romantic interests because I'm too vested in them, so I get a bit jealous. I like to pretend I don't have emotions so I'm ok with emotionally insensitive friends but if I also had emotionally insensitive romances, I'd either turn into a robot or implode. But both groups are honest, have similar interests and a dark sense of humor

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Guys:
Which one of these nails would you prefer your gf to have?

>>17070058
Rounded to oval and not too long. Perfect for scratching my back, but I think long nails look ridiculous.

>>17070058
I'm allergic to almonds so that's a no. The more I stare at the chart the less of an answer I have. I'd say rounded but I think it's more of a matter of what you can pull off and make look good.

>>17070058
I dare to say that I speak for the majority of mails if I say we don't actually care about nails.

But since you asked, imo apart from the last two, which are a bit too long and ridiculous, all of them are ok.

>>17070083
>majority of mails

oh snap.
*males

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How do I meet girls as A man who's sociable but not le charismatic, socially dominant alpha

>>17068493
>they seem interested
>they're even the ones who initiate the most sometimes
>then suddenly nothing, and when you go to them they're clod and give one word answers
Some assholes do this on purpose either to reject you in a particularly awful way, or to "test" you to see whether you try hard to contact them or not.
The hilarious thing is that the latter seems to backfire practically every time, sometimes with absurd consequences such as "going to abilene" situations, where both are "testing" each other or trying not to initiate in order to not seem too "clingy" or "needy" when both actually really want to talk.

On the other hand, people with not-so-great social skills (such as aspies) may do it by accident, not realizing that "normal" people constantly analyze their behavior and are deeply disturbed by (what seems to them like) minor changes. They have no idea how often they're "supposed" to text you or how much they're supposed to say unless you explicitly tell them.

It could also be due to a stressful period at work or school, a hobby competition, or anything else which may occupy a person's time or mental energy
Can also be a symptom of various mental illnesses or diseases.

Basically, don't overthink. If someone's behavior concerns you, talk to them about it. You can't intuitively guess what's wrong until you know them very well.

I guess this question can be answered by both men and women, I really have no idea where to ask this, but this seems like the best place to do so.

Say, after a girl gives birth, how long will it take for the stomach to "get back to normal", after having been expanded in size.
Does it usually leave permanent scars? How about excess skin?

I tried searching for it online, but most of what I found is fitness/health forum stuff which is highly anecdotal.

>>17070087
>but not le charismatic, socially dominant alpha
I fail to see what this has to do with anything?

Anyway, it depends, people often find them through hobbies, childhood friends, friend's friends, mutual interests in general, dating sites, and so on.

A google search should be pretty sufficient.

Question for straight femanons.
Are men with severe mental disorders completely off the table?

How can I help my gf gain control of her life? She hates making decisions and usually either asks someone for advice or does nothing until someone else steps in. Because of this I don't like to give her too much guidance as I don't want her to just rely on me. I ask her to choose where or what (if we're cooking) we eat and things like that, which she's finding easier, but I can't think how to take that a step further.
She's doing a PhD and making it especially difficult and stressful by procrastinating and not looking after her body. She doesn't sleep enough, skips meals and eats random snacks, forgets to drink anything all day and ends up feeling tired and ill. I've made some attempts to break this cycle, but without success. Her life is so chaotic that she's busier than she needs to be and doesn't have a lot of time for hobbies or hanging out. A lot of the time when we meet up, she's exhausted and just wants to nap or veg out in front of the TV, which is okay, but getting a bit boring for me.

A girl I like has agreed to go on 3 dates, keen to talk both during the date and online.

But she never initiates facebook messenger conversations, should I casually ask her why in my next date with her?

Also, is her agreeing to 3 dates in a row mean she likes me or if she thinks of my as a friend how can I tell?

Thanks!!

>>17070099
I'm bisexual, but personally it would depend on what the disorder is and if you were getting treatment for it. I'm struggle with mental health problems too so I don't know how well I'd be able to support someone with a severe mental disorder

>>17070118
After 3 dates and you are still not sure you two are bf and gf ? That does not sound good. It could be the case that she just doesn't have anything better to do than going out and do stuffs with you, and when she's back home she just doesn't think anything of it. I say whatever your doubts you just ask her directly.

>>17070194
ask her if she likes me?

>>17070194
we only had 2 dates, we havn't met where to meet for the 3rd date

>>17069767
Brit girl here, it makes absolutely no difference to me.

>>17069876
Yeah, because then I'd feel like an arsehole for leading him on.

>>17069923
No I definitely trust a guy more if he puts a condom on without me asking, I don't take it as an insult at all.

>>17070091
I think it a lot of cases it never entirely goes back.Most people are left with saggy excess skin. But again, that's just anecdotal evidence from people I know who have had children.

>stay on the phone for hours not really talking about anything, just enjoying each other's audible company
>go out a few times a week, bars, restaurants, have fun together
>texting pretty much all the time
>whenever we can afford it, we split the cost of a room

Am I just silly for still thinking that she doesn't like me? Femanons, would you do all this with a guy you didn't like?

>>17070271
>Femanons, would you do all this with a guy you didn't like?
No
But everything except the last one I would do with a friend

After two dates i want to make it clear that i like this girl. is this ok?

Do you want to watch jungle book with me next week or the week after?
I wanted to tell you this in person but I dont want to go on another date without tel you that I like you

>>17070332

You don't have to tell someone you like them, if you're going on a third date. It's rather obviously implied. Just make her feel special when you go out and that's enough.

Generally speaking, if a girl is in love with a guy but not officially in a relationship with him, will she still go on dates with other men or fuck a random guy in a club ?

>>17070381

If it's actually love and there's even something going on between the two people involved, then no.

If it's only a crush or if nothing is happening with the guy she's in love with, then it might happen.

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>>17070381
>

>>17070242
Really?

>>17070381
Yep.

>girls
What do you think of a man scent?
Also what kind of perfume do you prefer men to wear?

>>17070439

Good smelling men are the best, almost more important than dressing well. It's better to go for something subtle and barely there, enough to drive a girl nuts wondering if she's imagining it or not and makes her want to crawl close enough to check.

>>17070460
Hmmm.
So sweaty men are a no.
What brand do you suggest?

>>17070245
Even if you were still close friends and had agreed to stay that way?

>>17070482
I love Paco Rabanne 1 million. But I thin it depends on the guy, some colognes really go with a guys normal scent, and some just don't.

You should go to a perfume store and ask one of the female employees for help.

>>17070439
My bf uses a beard oil for his beard that smells like vanilla bourbon or somethin. He has a few. They all make him smell superior. He uses old spice deodorant, I'm not sure which one. But he smells great. It's subtle and not overbearing. Only when we're close can I smell it, which is perfect.

Even if he's just wearing deodorant, I can smell his, I guess, natural smell. Which I enjoy. Like from his t-shirts and stuff. I like his scent. I think this is an instinctual thing.

>>17070543
Won't that be sexual harassment?

>>17070558
Not if you ask her out first.

>>17070558
That's their job

Guys with tattoos:
I don't have any tattoos myself, but my bf has some. He will get a new one in a few days and i'm not sure if i should ask to go with him or not. Is getting a tattoo something you do alone or would you like company? I have no idea...

>>17069663
>scaring them off with talk of commitment on the first date
Why are people scared of talking about anything on the first date?
When do you want to discover fundamental incompatibilities, on the 20th?

>>17070581
I go with my boyfriend to get his tattoos. It gets boring. I have tattoos too, and my bf has gone with me to get mine. We will talk to the artist a bit, but he is working, so there are periods of silence. We can't sit right with the artist, some do, but I don't want to be hovering over the artist while he works, I may get in the way

But I like having company while I'm getting tatted and my boyfriend does too. Mainly for after when I'm in a bit of pain. Plus we usually want to go eat and do something after because sitting there for so long makes you hungry and bored.

I just bring a book and wait and read and check up on the work every once in a while. It can be boring depending on how many hours it will take.

>>17070592
Alright, thanks! This session will be 3h. Problem is, he will have to go to work right after. I guess i'll check on him otherwise. If he wants me to go with him, i'll make sure to bring a book.

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I'm incredibly nervous about what to say when I give my girlfriend a promise ring I just purchased. I was hoping to tell you guys what I've got done so far and get some feedback.

"By giving you this ring I promise myself and my heart to you entirely and by you accepting this ring you promise to do the same. With this ring also comes the intention that someday, when the time is right, I will be in this same situation down on one knee only with the purpose of making you my wife."

pic related btw, it's the ring.

>>17070381
I usually develop oneitis very quickly. When I absolutely adore and have a deep attraction to someone, I don't pay attention to other men.

However, when I was in high school, I'd get mad crushes on guys who did not notice me, and if a period of time has elapsed and I feel completely hopeless, I would move on if another guy seemed interested in me. But that was high school, I am now an adult, and I am not flooded with horny teenage guys surrounding me anymore.

>>17070599
Why not just propose to her? Sounds a bit constructed. I'd especially ditch the "and by accepting that ring you promise the same"...

>>17070605
I'm 19 and she's 18. I don't think we are nearly financially stable enough to do that.

>>17070581
Going with him, as in getting one yourself? Or just for the company? Either way, it doesn't really matter. Ask him. It's not like getting a tatoo tequires 10 years in the fortress of solitude.

>>17070615
Oh, alright. Makes sense. And what is the reason you want to give her that ring?

>>17070624
We've been together just over a half a year. I'm madly in love with her (as well as she with me), she's hinted at wanting a ring, said she'd marry me given the chance, we're very serious about our relationship and I'd like to take it to the next step although engagement/marriage isn't really a smart option at this point in our lives.

>>17069679
LOL
At least you didn't turn him gay.

>>17069738
No, slut.

>>17069743
You're a slut too.

>>17069864
Yes. Unless you have a vagina and isn't too heavy.

>>17069872
Enjoy getting your home, car and kids taken from you.

>>17069923
You shouldn't care about what she thinks. YOUR health is more important.

>>17070058
Any of the rounded ones.

Hi,

My gf is really embarassed by the idea of sex. We don't have much of a sex life, but the real problem is that we can't talk about it. I'm able to say how I feel, but she finds it too embarassing to talk about. Most of the time she can't bring herself to say anatomical words like "penis" or "breasts".

I'd like to talk to her about it, but I'm usually afraid to bring it up because she obviously finds it so difficult.

>>17070641
>she can't bring herself to say anatomical words like "penis" or "breasts"
Are you dating Elliot from Scrubs?

>>17070641
get her to watch porn with you

>>17070646
Haven't seen that show in years, but I wouldn't compare my gf to the way I remember Elliot.

>>17070641
Corrupt her until she likes it.

>>17070653
I'd thought about this, but I'm not sure it's such a great idea. She's never masturbated before and didn't like the idea when I recommended she give it a go. She covers her eyes when there are sex scenes in movies.
What sort of porn should I go for if I do it?

>>17070666
Appropriate trips.

>>17070058
>rounded
nothing too long or too pointy

>>17069703
They don't mean the actual pretty good looking guy that just stays loyal and gives his girl the proper treatment. They mean the literal scrawy/obese guy that has to announce that he's a nice guy/ gentleman because that's his only "redeeming" quality.

>>17070653
I wouldn't recommend that honestly, if she's that embarrassed about sex, ask her if/what she fantasises about, see what gets her going.

>>17070705
Yeah, I think the porn thing is an idea for me to use somewhere down the line, if at all. It'd be too abrupt to show her that straight away.
I like your approach, but she's so repressed that she can barely admit to herself that things arouse her, or when it happens she doesn't realise that it's arousal. I've asked her if she ever felt turned on and she didn't think she had, but later she told me about how she felt "weird" when we were together once.

>>17070716
Has she had any prior problems with sexuality, strictly religious upbringing or a history of abuse etc?
There's really no shame in getting help if she needs it. A therapist possibly, it's helped me tons.

>>17070720
She's not from a religious background and wasn't abused, but she had what I'd call a difficult childhood. As a teenager she convinced herself that she'd never get a boyfriend and since then she's refused to learn anything about sex because she thought she wouldn't need to know it (It doesn't make a lot of sense, but that's what she told me). To be honest I think she'd benefit from therapy because she has terrible self-esteem and I think a lot of her problems like shyness and trouble making decisions stem from that. She also has a few phobias that I think therapy might help with.

I was hoping there was something I could do though. I've casually brought therapy up a couple of times and she doesn't take it seriously. she's acknowledged that she has some problems, but thinks it's okay just to live with them. Sometimes she says I'd be better off with someone else and I'm worried she'd rather convince me to dump her than confront her problems.

Guys how do I approach this? Me and my friend started fucking, and he though all I wanted was some fuk since he did all these gauging comments I didn't respond to instead of just asking(hes an idiot but then again so am I). I told him I wanted something more and he responded positively but he didn't ask me to be his gf.
When we met last night he was all nervous, blushing and playing with things. He wasn't like that before. But on group chats and privately barely anything changed in how he talk to me or about me. I'm gonna have him over tomorrow, is he going to ask me to be his gf or do I have to ask him if he's wasting my time?
Btw. he'll be over because he picked up groceries for me.
See all the signs point out to: yes, he's gonna do it, but I'm still worried especially since he talks all the time about girls he's attracted to(but that's a normal guy thing).
I just don't want hi to lead me on/use me ._.

>>17070744
Well, all you can do is support her best you can, of course, but from what I've read I really believe therapy could help her.
Doesn't necessarily need to be therapy for any sexual insecurities, just generally trying to get better, with self-esteem issues and such, and slowly edging towards sexuality.
Kudos to you for staying with her, by the way. I've known more than enough guys who'd simply drop her for being "prude" or something.

>>17070751
+also he used to talk all the time about internet femal friend he wants over(for obvious reasons) and he talk less about her now but that's what's making me think he's just looking to use me

Girls and fellow guys

I feel like I'm fighting my own mind. Conciously, I don't want a girlfriend, I don't want sex, or anything.. But SUBconciously, natural male instinct keeps making me think about girls.

This shit is driving me fucking crazy, and quite frankly, making me very depressed. What do I do?

>>17070751
>>17070759
I'm no guy but if you want him to be your boyfriend and you feel as if he's into you (rather obvious, since you're sleeping together), how about you ask him? Then you'll have clarity at least.
That being said I never quite understood how people characterize having sex as one using the other, I assume the sex is fun for you, too.

>>17070751
>>17070759
If you keep having sex with him I doubt he'd be able to resist the emotional attachment. His feeling for you will grow with each time you fuck, and all that talk about others is probably just to make you jealous.

>>17070626
Just propose to her. You can stay engaged for years.

A "promise" ring would make alarm bells go off in my head.
In any case, don't say what you've written to her. Sounds far too formal. you just want to make a few points and tell her them in your own words.

>>17070769
Well to be fair that doesn't necessarily mean he couldn't be fucking other girls on the side.

>>17070766
I don't want to ask him because I already told him I'm interested in more then fwb arrangment. And I don't find him having sex with me as him using me, but since I told him I'm interested in more than fwb arrangment - if he'd lead me to believe he's into me and we could be together to keep fucking me it would count as him using me.
I'm paranoid for a reason, I've fallen for a variant of this.
>>17070769
He's acting attached already but then again I might be wrong or he's faking it. I don't want to sleep with him until I'm sure we are on the same page.
>and all that talk about others is probably just to make you jealous
That would be retarded. All it does is make me insecure and jealous(which I won't show) and sad.

>>17070783
Well then I suppose you just have to wait and see how he reacts.
You could of course go the 'ultimatum' way and just tell him to make things clear to you ("are we together?") or else you'll break off the FWB arrangement.

>>17068480
Ladies, say your man tied you up before making fuck with you, you are completely vunerable and unable to move. His buddies then enter the room and light your pussy up. Would you be upset or into it? What would you do after? You had know idea this was going to happen.

>>17070804
I'd be into that but I'm sub af. If she is too, then start dropping hints about it or joke and see how she reacts.

>>17070804
That's a huge breach of trust and if I've never mentioned liking something like that I'd not only be pissed as hell, if they didn't stop on my insistence I'd run straight to the cops as soon as I'm not tied up anymore.

>>17070817
To clarify I'm not at all into getting "shared" or having sex with anyone who's not my boyfriend, so obviously I'm exactly the wrong girl to ask.

>>17070833
Well it's more about humiliation. At least for me(though I only fantasized about it).

>>17070849
Are you >>17070806?
Either way I'm not really into humiliation either, and the idea of having random guys descend upon me while I'm completely helpless makes my skin crawl.

>>17070833
Not even if they are hot ?
If my gf plans a similar arrangement with me and her sorority sisters I wouldn't object.

>>17070861
It's different for guys. You wouldn't be afraid of girls hurting you.

>>17070861
Who cares if they're all Matt Bomer. It's not about hotness, it's about exclusivity and trust. If my boyfriend threw a couple of hot guys at me and expect me to sleep with them I'd seriously worry what's wrong with him.

for girls
gf and i had sex but i came in her mouth and she swallowed most of it but a bit dropped on me
i pulled up my pants, we went for a smoke listened to some music then went to have lunch and what not
all in all some 40-50 minutes have passed if not a bit more and then we had sex again
the question is is there any risk of pregnancy, my pants looked pretty dry the second time i had them down?

>>17070873
Don't girls have fantasies of like being completely dominated and even raped? I know they're just fantasies but the feeling of helplessness and no control is a turn on for some girls I hear

>>17070887
Sure, some do. Most even, if I remember correctly. See >>17070806
But it's not me. I mean, I fantasise about being dominated, yes, but not by random guys who fuck me against my will. Domination, to me, just means my boyfriend taking control and me feeling secure precisely because I trust him completely. No chance I could ever relinquish control with anyone I didn't trust that much.

>>17070887
>feeling of helplessness and no control

Would love to see you try this irl kek

>>17069252
100% prefer the guys who just ask.

The guy I'm seeing is turning from confident and playful to too nervous to do anything other than hug me(after asking me). He barely touched me last time we saw each other.
This is so unlike him. He's still able to relax enough to be silly but I'm worried it's going to become a trend.
Don't get me wrong, I like that side of him - I'm ust baffled and might end up missing his assertivness. When you're getting feelings for a girl(at least that's what I think is happening with him) and you start to sperg, how long until you get over it?

>>17070918

Could be he's fucking someone else, just saying..

>>17068480
Is /r9k/ right about women?

>>17070930

yes. But not all of them. Sadly the decent ones are already taken and for good reason

>>17070763

anyone?

>>17070763

hookers

>>17070947

What would that do for me?

>>17070948

try it out

>>17070763
Chemical Castration.

Scott Aaronson considered this, but at the last minute he got a gf. Imagine what the state of modern quantum computing would be if he had gone through with the procedure and embraced the transcendence of wizardry.

>>17070948
I think he means it'd keep your "instincts" in check without the need for a girlfriend.

>>17070599
>>17070615
Just get engaged. You don't have to get married tomorrow, you can be fiancees for 10 years if you need to. If you plan to be married and are 100% committed to each other, go for it.

>>17070666
Thanks satan

>>17070672
>She covers her eyes when there are sex scenes in movies
Take her to a therapist. That isn't normal.

>>17070918
Until we know you feel the same.

>>17070918
He's gay and he's cheating on you with a dude. Sorry you had to find out like this.

>>17069074
He refused to admit it. It's possible he's telling the truth.

>>17070955
Yeah, chemical castration did wonders for Turing.

>>17070956

But I said I don't want sex

>>17069192
She likes you. Tell her you can't wait for your portrait, and that you model for her sometime over dinner. A week s enough to ask her out.

>>17070962
You don't. Your body does.

>>17069236
Just find another guy. It's easy.

>>17070967

ok, true. But I don't want it..

>>17070984
Then don't. But if it's stressing you out, go and give it a try.

>>17070948
its such a release man. you definetly need to try it.

guys and girls
Do you know when you smell terrible ? I'm a guy and I think I do.

>>17070993
Yeah, pretty sure I do. I'm a total fanatic about being clean though, I wash my hands excessively and shower twice daily, three times on my period.

>>17070763
Learn to master your emotions, don't let them master you.
It's no coincidence that this is a pillar of self-improvement across cultures and generations: see the Stoics, Zen, even the fucking Jedi.

>>17070992
No..

>>17070990

It's really confusing

>>17070930
No, a bunch of young guys who barely have life experience, most of them having barely interacted with women to begin with, don't have superior insight into the nature of half the human population. Just don't try to tell them that.

If you bf asked if you were a virgin would you answer honestly

>>17069939
What you describe is good. Opposites attract but don't stay together. What is perfect is when you agree on the large things (life philosophy, future you envision, sense of humor, moral standards and so on) but there's enough difference to be able to introduce each other to new things. But it should just be a bit of variety for spice, not major topics where you don't see eye to eye. Overall similarity is definitely better.

>>17071116
Yeah, sure.

>>17071116
Yeah, it would probably be pretty obvious that I'm inexperienced anyway

>>17071116
yup. I did in fact

>>17071116
If you want a straight answer the trick is not to make it obvious that you place a lot of importance on it. Don't come out and ask "so are you a virgin?" out of the blue, that makes it pretty obvious that the only answer you want to hear is yes. Ask if she's been in a relationship before etc. If she says yes, you can pretty much assume she's no virgin unless she is religious or she was fourteen or something at the time (in which case you can say "wow, that's young, was it a full sexual relationship or just a less physical puppylove thing?"). If she says no, you have an opening to ask if that means she's a virgin without it seeming like you need her to bleed on her wedding night.
Or you can ask what she likes sexually, whatever seems easier. That should make it fairly obvious as well.

Also personally, absolutely. And I'm quite confident most girls would. But this is also a cultural thing, there are many cultures in which girls have been brought up with the idea that it's shameful to have sex before marriage or have sex with more than one person etc etc so I can't account for everyone, lying about it does happen which is why you needs to have a strategy.

Ladies,
you are receiving oral sex and cervial mucus comes out,
What is your reaction?

>>17071159
What
But I would already be wet how would you even be able to tell

>>17071159
As the other gal said, I wouldn't know. It's his issue to deal with.

Having said that, oral is usually focussed on the clitoris anyway, not the actual vagina.

>>17071191
That's a bit new to me. I'm a guy and I focus on going into the vagina hole and somewhat rub my nose on the clit.

>>17071186
It looks like snot and is sometimes colored.

>>17071198
>vagina hole
Dude

I am girl, 21. Even though I am exclusively attracted to men, I will sometimes at night dream I have a dick. I never fucked anyone with it, just got it hard and played with it, and I have to admit it was incredibly erotic.

Anyone able to shed some light on why this happens? Has any of you ever gone through this aswell?

>>17071198
Eh, preferences are going to differ but for most women the actual entrance is not sensitive enough for a soft tongue to feel spectacular down there. Though it's good to throw it in so you mix things up... and again it's an individual thing. But give it a try, it's more common to derive pleasure from having your clitoris licked.

>>17071204
When you're aroused there's already a lot of fluid and your muscles are fully relaxed. You are likely on your back and even if not, your man's face is covering your crotch. At that point you cannot tell what's coming out, or even the specific moment something is coming out, just that it's a wet mess.

>>17071215
Never happened to me, might just be a random dream and it means nothing, who knows.
Maybe you were only turned on because you're attracted to dicks in general or maybe you've just discovered a new fetish

>>17071215
I've had dreams in which I had a dick. Really weird to recall. I liked them as well. I also like to fantasize about sexual things from the guy's perspective. I think it is mostly interesting to me because you picture actually experiencing the pleasure you want to give someone. If you get turned on picturing that you please someone well, picturing how that feels isn't a weird next step. I wouldn't read too much into it.

Though of course you could reflect on whether you'd be interested in pegging. I'd be up for that but not sure if there's a connection there or that it's just random, I'd be up for plenty of other things too so who knows.

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I need help...

>24
>Have boyfriend
>Have an extremely high sex drive
>Need to cum at least 10-13 times a day to feel satisfaction
>Boyfriend can only go 2-3 times
>Have sex 2-3 times but still horny
>Wait for him to leave or fall asleep
>Spend most of the night masturbating
>Been cybering online with random people lately
>No webcam or real pictures, just text
>Wake up needing sex before anything else
>Fuck 2-3 times if boyfriend is there
>Cyber for 3+ hours with random people if he's not
>Feel guilty for doing erotic role play
>Want to stop
>Always tempted due to high sex drive
>Spent most of today ERPing while he's at work
>Feel like I've been cheating and feel like an awful girlfriend

What the fuck do I do? normal masturbation isn't enough anymore, I need either real sex or erotic role play to be fully satisfied, but his sex drive isn't as high as mine and I am just unsatisfied, besides this one thing, I am extremely happy in this relationship, toys don't help that much, we've tried having him just use toys on me after he's worn out, but it's not the same.

>>17071198
I agree with >>17071220, my clitoris is 100 times more sensitive

question for women

older virgin here, much older

Decided its not worth taking chances letting the girl know I am a virgin since chances are she will pack up and leave me. I dont want to have to lie but I have to

what are some things I should or should not do to not make it obvious I am still a virgin?

>>17071215
It's just a normal sex dream, because watching guys masturbate is hot and feeling the pleasure masturbation brings is nice. It's not a big deal.
>Has any of you ever gone through this aswell?
Not very often but yes. A couple years ago like 30% of my dreams involved me being a guy for a few months. They were mostly regular dreams instead of sex dreams though.

>>17071231
Don't rush. Don't fret too much. Intercourse usually does not last that long. Make sure you spend time getting her properly warmed up, relishing in the prospect of sex. Touch her firmly but softly - make sure your nails don't dig into her, you don't pull her hair at the ends, weigh her tits in your hands more than grabbing them. You should be exploring her body and not being hyperfocussed on going through all the steps in the right order and the right way. Pretty much all women love firm pressure on their lower back, their hips and/or their ass. Pay attention to her body language when you try things out.
Have some smooth line ready for when you feel like you're fucking up. Like "I guess you make me nervous" with a cheeky grin.

>>17071231
Bad sex with a virgin is fixable. Bad sex with someone who's allegedly experienced is not nearly as much, because likely they're going to be set in their ways and resistant to change. Don't lead with letting someone know you're a virgin, but in the context of an established relationship it probably won't be scaring anyone off and you won't do yourself any favors by making it seem like you're just really shitty in bed.

>>17071227
Sounds like an addiction to me. What are you going to do if cybering doesn't satisfy you anymore? I'd look for professional help.

>>17071252

I agree with you 100% but I'm old. Not in my 20s anymore. I've seen all the posts here and on the internet as a whole about what women do to male virgins at my age. If I ever want to have a normal life, I have to lie

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girl I'm interested in seems to avoid eye contact with me whenever it happens, even if its unintentional and brief. Is this a sign she is not interested?

>>17071254
Yeah, I guess it is an addiction...I don't know what I'm going to do, I feel so fucking guilty for cybering, how would I go about getting professional help?

I don't want to tell my boyfriend "You don't make me cum enough so I'm going to go get professional help" he doesn't know about all the other stuff I do, we just have sex a few times and then leave it at that, he doesn't know about the cybering or mass amounts of masturbation I do when he's not around.

>>17071227
desu senpai it sounds like there's some underlying problem here

>>17070960
Never know until you try !
More importantly that's what people would encourage you to do.

>>17071227
Are you trans

>>17071286

Needs more context

>>17071300
its pretty straight forward. Looks away upon the contact. Assuming this is a universal sign of not interested right?

>>17071293
Nope.

>>17071298
Nope.

>>17071227
This gave me a boner but you likely should seek help senpai lest you become a slut in person

>>17071286
not necessarily. is she blushing, does she look stuck up etc

>>17071291
maybe find a job

>>17071308
It likely is. If you literally stay up to masturbate after fucking your boyfriend 2-3 times in a row something is wrong. If he's not doing the job right that's one thing but otherwise you should look into help. Be honest to yourself about which one it is

>>17071271
Protip: The Internet is not real life.

>>17071291
I probably live in a place where these things are organized quite differently, but you could do several things... look for an online community, talk to people more experienced and hear their experiences with group therapy or individual therapy. Maybe they have practical suggestions too. Given that you're a woman, hormonal birth control might make a difference. You could also go to your GP and tell him this. Make sure to stress that it gets in the way of living your life, which it does.

Just tell him that you have a need to climax so often that it is a real obstacle in your life. I mean, right now you have a guy who'll fuck you twice-thrice a day - don't let stereotypes fool you, there are plenty of men with lower sex drives that wouldn't even want that. This is an issue that gets in the way of your ability to form healthy monogamous relationships. It's not simply a matter of mismatched sex drives, especially with you indicating that you need more extreme stimulance now to get off.

>>17071319
No blushing as far as I can tell but then again I don't really flat out stare to see or anything. Doesn't look stuck up either

>>17071271
Not necessarily. How old are you and why are you a virgin? If the virginity is because you're /r9k/ tier awkward then it's not the virginity that's the issue, it's what it signals and that will likely be picked up on regardless. If it's because you haven't had the time or interest in pursuing a girlfriend or any reason that doesn't really speak to underlying social deficiencies and you can tactfully explain why then most people won't be bothered by it unless you're in your 40s or older. Thirties is still forgivable gray area for a lot of people.

Even if you were a virgin because you used to be really socially awkward or isolated, you could easily spin it in a more positive light depending on how you choose to portray yourself. For example, I was a NEET and even a hikikomori for many years, and if people asked me what I did for a living I would tell them I'm presently unemployed, but that I hope to find a job in cooking and then talk about my interest in it. I wasn't lying, I never said I was looking for a job. I just presented myself as a person with passions and goals. If you discuss your inexperience with someone, do the same thing.

>>17071227
damn I wish I could stay in my room masturbating all day everyday like you.

>>17071326
Not her but that's not necessarily true, people have different libidos. And guys can be kinda one-shot about sex obviously so if you're horny often you might just stay horny even after good sex.

>>17071339
That is true but for OP this means that she's driven to behavior that makes her feel bad, she's unable to have a satisfactory sex life even with a guy with a relatively high libido, and she has already made a step towards more extreme fulfillment in order to feel satisfied. If this were simply a physical need, it wouldn't matter much whether you get it from cybering or from using a toy on yourself ten times in a row. But it does because it's more than a physical desire to come.

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First time here, not to be rude but people answering as girls, are you really born girls/not just trolls?

If yes, how much do you care about a boyfriends social status/social level? Do you find it "creepy" or bizarre if they have a small circle of friends and no social media (besides kik)

>>17071355
That's true I suppose. Question for OP is then whether 'normal' masturbation without cybersex or role playing would suffice.

>>17069495
One last bump

>>17071362
TLdr

>>17071356
My boyfriend of 3 years only has 3 friends he hangs out with in person, most of his friends are online, which doesn't bother me at all, friends are friends, no matter where in the world they are :)

>>17071356
Bona fide born-with-a-vagina here.

I wouldn't much care about that unless he's a total outcast/sperg. But I don't have a snapchat/Instagram/facebook either.
I guess it comes down to similar interests, someone who spends a big chunk of her day on social media might find it weird if you don't. (and vice versa)

>>17071361
Well, she said that her boyfriend using toys on her is not satisfying, and she says she wants to stop but it's too tempting to her because of this drive. That sounds to me like there's more at play than having high needs physically. Also the phrasing "need to cum at least 10-13 times a day to feel satisfaction", for most people their sex drive is kind of how much they'd ideally like to have sex. You can deal with a few days where it doesn't get up there, it's just a bummer. Doesn't sound like it's that way for her, more like it's a real pressing need that overrules other things.

>>17071372
OP here, I've decided to seek out professional help, I have a professional I can talk to and will bring it up next time I see them, it's just embarrassing and honestly makes me feel like I'm talking badly about my boyfriend :\

But at this point I don't think I have a choice, I don't want to do something stupid because of my high need for sex, he's such a great guy and has been the best boyfriend I've ever had, he doesn't deserve having something stupid happen to him because I'm sex crazed.

>>17071362
I don't think it's that realistic that she's going to reach out to you. Having said that, looking at someone if definitely the clearest indicator that they like you. People can't help but look at what catches their attention. If you're in a group setting again and people start laughing, pay attention to her. If she likes you she'll be inclined to look at you to see your reaction at the joke or whatever it was and you'll catch her. It is also possible that someone told her that you inquired about her, and she is intrigued and wondering if she could grow to like you, more than that you naturally caught her eye.

Either way, from your description it sounds like it's too optimistic to hope that she's going to take charge. Sounds like she's slightly uncomfortable with being in this position, perhaps inexperienced and/or socially awkward in general. You'll need to put in more effort.

>>17071356
I'm a girl, I swear!
Honestly it wouldn't matter. Id like a guy who could introduce me to a lot of people, so a bit on extraverted side but I don't do social media personally.

>>17071381
Good for you. I think it's the right call. I wouldn't worry about making your boyfriend look bad, only a dildo could go that amount of times a day. Besides, I am assuming your professional doesn't have zero experience with more extreme sexual behavior/dependency so ideally it wouldn't be like you'd have to explain a new concept. Good luck!

>>17069672
lower standards enough so that you can get with the desperate 3/10 women

>>17071383
So, basically I was right and she's shy and I just need to talk to her a lot more and really keep it going, but still not come on too needy or clingy. But she is into me, just really shy. Thanks, anon. I'll figure something out to get her to open up more.

>>17071381
That sounds like it's a good idea Anon, it certainly can't hurt asking for help, no shame in that (and it's not trash talking your boyfriend either, evidently this has nothing to do with his sexual prowess). Best of luck!
Question out of curiosity, has your sex drive changed much throughout life? As in, any big swings or whatnot? Because I've been a really horny teen, then barely cared much for sex at all after school and now it's picking up again (and I know a lot of women say their sexual appetite peaks in their late twenties/early thirties) so I'm curious how it's for other girls.

>>17071389
Thank you for your kind words <3

>>17071398

My sex drive went into overdrive when we first started dating, we were having sex on the daily like crazy, it was awesome, and still is awesome, but I feel like I've become addicted to it and want more

The only other time my sex drive has been this high was when I was first starting high school, I was craving sex all the time, I didn't have sex till after high school, but during high school I did a lot of oral stuff, jerked and sucked off most of my guy friends after school in their cars and stuff, once high school ended my sex drive kind of dropped off for a while.

>>17071411
So your boyfriend kind of was the "trigger", would you say?
And I kinda get that, I was crazily horny with 15-17 too but I basically just focused on volleyball/tennis because I wasn't quite sure what to do with all the energy. And masturbation of course.

>>17071411
>>17071411
>jerked and sucked off most guy friends
>guy friends

Well, there goes your problem. Literally any girl that does this in high school has problems. Did you have daddy issues?

>>17071480
Nope, no family problems at all, my parents are still married, grew up with 3 brothers and a sister, my parents were always around, I had a nice group of friends and lived in a suburban neighborhood, I had an extremely easy childhood.

>>17071491
Too easy then. Being a slut in high school is never a good sign for the future

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>>17071215
It's a common fantasy among both guys and girls.
One reason given is that a dick is very expressive, very bold, and very dynamic. It gets hard, cums, etc, there's no guessing, interpreting, asking, talking, no intellectualized strategy as to what you have to do with it.
Can't fake an orgasm with a dick, never have to wonder.

Plus it's sort of like an extra appendage, or a prehensile tail. You can go out and do whatever you want with it, stick it in things, wave it around, rub it on shit, slap someone with it, etc. It's active rather than passive.
The reverse fantasy, on the other hand, is quite rare. Very few guys have fantasized about having a vagina or clit, and few gals are into cuntboys: how many people can name one that isn't buck angel?

>>17071503
I agree with most of what you say, but I don't think it's that unheard of for men to fantasize about being the woman during sex. Less so because of the vagina and more being the one who gets filled up, the vulnerable position in sex psychologically and having multiple orgasms in a row..

>>17071499
Mah, I live a pretty good life now, got my own place, a nice job, and plenty of friends, everything I did in high school had zero impact on my life once it ended.

>>17071286
Not necessarily. If she immediately looks away when you look at her, it's usually a sign that she does like you.

>>17071227
>>Need to cum at least 10-13 times a day to feel satisfaction
>>Cyber for 3+ hours with random people
>>Want to stop
Yeah, this is far into addiction territory, consider seeing a therapist with experience in this particular area.
May even be a hormone problem.

>>17071291
You don't have to tell him immediately, but you should consider it. This isn't a minor thing, and part of the reason we call them "partners" is that we expect to be able to rely on them for support when we run into problems.

>>17071356
I am a girl
>small circle of friend
That's fine, I'm the same. No friends at all might suggest you are a bit too unsociable or would develop an unhealthy level of dependency
Social media makes no difference

Fellow guys, does old roast beef taste any different than young ones?

>>17071616
Your mom tastes pretty sweet, I don't know if it's the same for other old women though

>>17071368
>unless he's a total outcast/sperg.
>>17071542
>No friends at all might suggest you are a bit too unsociable
This begs the question, what do those guys do? Are there girls that want them?
It seems like the extro/intro-version spectrum for girls stops at a certain point, but for the guys it keeps going and going, with weirdos, losers, loners, aspies, autists, schizoids, paranoiacs, etc: do they have a solution other than pretending to be extroverted to "hook" a girl into an obviously-incompatible relationship? (seen that happen many times)

Is introversion secretly more common among girls than it seems?
Or are such guys better off giving up and going gay?

The girl I like used to be a landwhale and now she's skinny she has 100's of guys on her facebook.

I'm kinda getting the vibe she likes attention, how can I make myself stand out, give her it or not?

>>17071661
First of all, there's a point where introverted becomes antisocial. Introverted just means that it costs you energy to be around others, rather than energizing you. It does not mean that you do not like being around people, or don't find interpersonal relationships important. Just that you recharge with alone time. And of course it's a spectrum where some people can handle more than others before they need to be alone.

If you are so "introverted" to use your definition that you have no desire to have a friend, the obvious question is why you would want a girlfriend in the first place. 90% of the interaction in a relationship is pretty much the same. I think a lot of guys who can't stand company but really want the idea of sex and romance would be pretty disappointed with the reality of dating. If you hate all social interaction, a relationship is not for you.

>>17071661
Pretty sure they do the same thing the outcast/spergy girls do, whine about it on the Internet, albeit on different websites.

>>17071661
>Is introversion secretly more common among girls than it seems?
Maybe not more but at least equal I would guess, 4chan probably makes it seem more common for guys because most people here are male. If you go to a website like tumblr you'll find there are a lot of overly introverted women too

I met a girl on omegle and we talked for several months. At some points (Evidently often to her, but to me I cannot recall more than 2) during our conversation, I would get upset about something that she did that she was telling me about, or judge her for doing something or saying something. About a week ago, I did this, and this time she had had enough. She says she doesn't want to be friends anymore, but the thing is I truly care about this girl for whatever reason. The way she talks and thinks to me is so incredible attractive because of how she overflows with kindness. Obviously I've fucked up and it's my fault but I don't want to let this girl go, I care about her so much which is probably unhealthy due to our long distance, but I just really care. What do I do am I fucked or what? I was thinking about just giving her a lot of time like a couple months and then talking to her again. Please help me, I am rather desperate to solve this situation and make her be my friend again.

>>17071680
I don't think you can do a lot more here than reiterate to her that it was not your intention to scare her off, that you see now that you were wrong to condemn her. Ultimately it is her decision whether or not she wants to remain friends with you and talk to you. I doubt outright forcing her will do your case much good.

For future reference, judging is a very risky thing in a relationship that is supposed to build between peers. That is the thing about friendships and romance relationships: you grow together, learn together, fuck up together. Your friends don't judge you for slacking on homework, or for being naive and impulsive, or for falling in love with someone every other week. This is the most important aspect in which they differ from role models, parents, teachers etc. They stand side by side with you. No one wants a friend around whom they feel the need to censor themselves, because before you know it they respond to them like their mom or dad would and scold them.

Of course that doesn't mean that you can never tell a friend that you disagree with how they behaved, but that is something that typically only occurs once a relationship is already firmly established. So it becomes an exception in an otherwise equal relationship. What people usually do is when they get to know someone, silently and inwardly judge whether they think the person is so bad or has such bad judgment that they have no desire in being friends. If not, they will let things slide under the banner of no one being flawless. And again, once you have a solid long term friendship you can occasionally tell them to shape up. It should just never be the norm.

how long does it take to fall in love with someone? ì`ve been going over a month with a guy but i just care about him,i have cried a few times because i missed him, he already said he loves me but i`m not sure yet.

He is starting to bore me because he is a depressive sadsack and i`m not so

>>17070599
Hmm what level of autism are you trying to display?

>>17070672
Softcore
Then amputee

>>17070918
Alivia is that you? It's me, your sperg. Anyway, he wants you, but is too scared to make the first move. Ask if he wants to kiss, and let things go from there.

Guys:
Guy speaking. Have you had problems with premature ejaculation? If so, did it fix itself with time (and experience) or did you try to actively work on a solution?
I realize this must be a pretty common question, but i just wanna hear some experiences of other people, since i don't really have anyone to talk to about this irl