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I have been in a relationship for over 5 years. My boyfriend is very sweet and seems to be still infatuated. He calls me on all his breaks at work, texts me all the time, and does sweet things for me every day.
Sometimes, however, I feel insecure and that I see him checking out other women. For example, yesterday we were waiting for drinks at a cafe and there was a girl standing in front of him. I looked up and noticed him looking at her. When she left the cafe, it seemed like he was watching her walk away. I asked him about it and he got very upset. He said he was not that kind of man and how could I accuse him of these things. He said that I must think he is a real scummy kind of guy, and if I thought that, why did I want to be with him?
I do have issues with anxiety, fear of being in public, and body dysmorphic disorder. He says that I imagine these alleged acts of checking out other women, but I feel like I can sense his sexual energy or curiosity being piqued.
Whenever we try to discuss this, he denies everything and becomes very upset because he says he isn't like "most guys" and he thinks that is really disrespectful to check out other women in front of your girlfriend and he would never do that to me.
Should I believe him?
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yes. i'm prone to be insecure and accuse guys of doing stuff like that myself, but it sounds like your guy really is honest. it might be that he DID look at her. but allas, i like to "people watch" myself. it doesn't mean i'm going to dump my bf and have wild sex with the guy i was looking at. maybe he reminded me of somebody. or i thought he had a nice haircut. or he did something funny. whatever it was, he's clearly NO threat to my bf. i think it's the same with your bf
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>>17003625
>Anxiety, fear of being in public, and body dysmorphic disorder.
So your crazy, calm your crazy ass down.
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Oh boy, another women who think she has the ability to "sense" intention or energy or whatever. No, you can't you just have an overinflated belief in your sense of awareness; I assure you thag you aren't special or mildly psychic, nor do the stars have anything to say. Magic isn't real and your just being paranoid.
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I am also an insecure woman in a relationship, so I understand how you feel. However, I don't think that there is anything here that is worth even having multiple arguments about and that you should drop the subject. It sounds like he isn't being obnoxious about it or anything, just looking at women. It'd be one thing if he were ignoring you, talking about how hot they are in front of you, taking pics with his phone, or leering creepily- sounds like people just catch his eye and he looks sometimes. There are a lot of things I've been insecure about, even porn, but this is bordering on thought-crime level to me. I'm not saying that I don't see your side, because I'd be annoyed if my bf was constantly checking out other women, but if it's just him looking and only occasionally it just doesn't seem worth it to create conflict over it.
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>>17003625
Don't believe a word he says. You need to break up with your boyfriend and find someone that will devote all his sexual energy and curiosity to you and only you. You must trust your inner senses in order to be truly happy, as his denial is a clear sign of his infidelity and lack of respect for you. Sorry to tell you, but you've wasted 5 years on a lie.
...But seriously, what advice did you think you were going to get here?
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