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Yeah it's another suicidal post among the many others please be patient with me. So last year I was doing pretty good, I had a miserable abusive childhood that I'd started dealing with I found lots of people suffered like I did and still muddled through life, I came to terms with my sexuality and I was doing okay. I had a job I didn't hate, reconnected with my friends after a depressive slump and I was hitting the gym thanks to /fit/. Then on new year's I was sexually assaulted by a friend. January 1st he found me while I was passing out on a bed after the party. There was no penetration Andi got away but I was violated. I went to the hotline for it they helped me come to terms with it, helped me forget the guilt and urged me to file a police report. I told someone I thought was my friend and they said if I didn't press charges they would tell everyone what happened. So I told her I would and instead I cut off ties with her I couldn't bear the thought of people finding out about this I stopped talking to that whole group of friends and when I reached out to someone I thought I could trust again they were more concerned with their own social problems and just didn't seem to care about me. I blocked the guy who did it from everything erased his number he did apologize came at me with a bunch of excuses and the people at the hotline told me to save the texts to use as evidence but I couldn't. I couldn't even go to therapy at the local support group like they said to. I wanted to wash that whole day away and now I'm more depressed than ever. I don't know what to do. Shame keeps me quiet and self loathing makes me want to kill myself. He's out there still drinking with our friends and having a great time. I'm so sacred that if they find out that they'll all say it was my fault that they'll think less of me. I just want to die and I'm scared and unhappy. How do I live?
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>>16993865
first of all i'm so, so sorry this happened to you. i wish i knew how to make it better and give you proper advice but i don't, i don't know how to fix it. however i want you to know that you did nothing wrong, it's not your fault, and other people acting shitty about it is not a reflection on you, it's on them. find better friends, if you can. i would forget about them
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>>16993930
>however i want you to know that you did nothing wrong
besides getting blackout drunk.
op, was he drunk too? if he was, you should accept his apology. you dont want to held accountable for getting wasted in a setting that was not your home, which is an irresponsible and immature thing to do. he shouldnt be held accountable for his drunk actions either, especially since there was no penetration.
Look, I understand. It hurts, but in some situations, it is better to let is go.
See, I was molested as a child; there was nothing that I could've done. By the time that I acknowledged this fact though, the guy who did it was a changed man who wouldnt dare do it again. There would be no point in me bringing it up or feeling hurt by it. So, I accepted the past and let it go.
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>>16993961
It was our friends house I was in the bed minding my own business I went over my case with the woman at the hotline it's solid don't try to justify his actions to me. Please don't try and take away my dignity here. He wasnt black out drunk he apologized for what he did because he knew what he was trying to do and I stopped him. I fought him. I'll never forgive him either. I'm not looking for help with sending him to jail I'm trying to get back to normal.
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>>16993930
Thank you. Your words mean a lot to me. If it wasn't for people like you and the woman on the helpline I would have done something stupid that day. I think I should try to get to therapy but when I do try I feel helpless and tired just trying to call and find out the meeting times makes me break down a little. I don't have any friends to lean on anymore I'm really alone and your support is important to me just that short paragraph.
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>>16993961
Wow, you're fucking garbage.
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