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Hey /adv/, I have a gf who is mad at me because I want to focus

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Hey /adv/,
I have a gf who is mad at me because I want to focus on my career. She wants me to leave with her somewhere and find a job as something else like a waiter for two months so we can live together now that we are young, have a break from the daily routine and so I can prove she is my number one priority in my life. When I told her no because I want to focus on my career and not lose chances and she became furious. It got me thinking. Am i in the wrong because I have scheduled my life as such? I love her loads but maybe I'm not a good boyfriend because I believe its very important to develop my career now that im young so Im covered in my 30s. What do you think?
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>>16953259
No, fuck her. When you're 50 and acomplished your dreams you will thank yourself.

Tell her that she's not your top priority and doesn't deserve to be.

Accomplish what you want and the women will come. Better women than this one.

Nobody who accomplished their dreams did it by giving up because a chick was needy. She's poison.
Dump her cunt ass.
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>>16953303
Thanks for the reply. I always try to think my actions and my feelings throughtout. Thinking of just myself seems so selfish to me and when I love someone I want both of us to be happy but I know thinking of my future its the right think to do when it comes to this. I talk to her about it and whatever happens
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>>16953259
If you give up a career for some girl you'll resent her for the rest of your life.

When the right girl comes along she won't ask you to make a sacrifice like that.
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>>16953259

dude fuck her, how long have you been together? shes demanding you prove she is the number one thing in her life by giving up every thing else?

she wants you to travel and support her as a waiter? what? why? why does she want this traveling? why does she insist on you being a waiter? whats your current career

etiher way fuck her. the whole 'OH YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME AND NOTHING ELSE MATTERS' is an old fairytale line. one day you two will break up (probably soon) and changing your entire life simply to prove osmething to someone is lame.
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>>16953259
Been with my boyfriend 7.5 years, asked him to move abroad so he can focus on his career and have a better life with me when we're older.
She's a selfish kid.
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Neither of you are wrong or right. She wants to travel and that's fine. She's 20-something. You want to build a career so you are 'fine in your 30s' (whatever the fuck that means) and that's reasonable and fair as well.

You have different goals and you stopping her from travelling is just as shitty as her stopping you from working.

It's up to you to decide what you want to do and what is important for you. There are no right or wrong answers to this.

I would say though, the idea you NEED to focus on your career right now or else you'll become a dejected homeless freak when you hit 30 is wrong. You have plenty of time and a few months travelling won't hurt you.
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>>16953362
This is bullshit, don't listen.

OP's plan is objectively better. His gf want to travel and waste time, at the expense of her future. OP is taking the responsible route and trying to get ahead in life.

You can have a couple years of fun when your young or many years when your older, not both.
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>>16953370
This, you can travel in style in your late 50s or squander yourself now.
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>>16953370

I suspect the "you need to work super duper hard at 23 or you'll die in a ditch" people are just trying to make up for their boring youth.

Of course you can fritter away a year or two in your early twenties. It doesn't matter in the slightest. Shit, lots of people will piss away a few years in a career they don't ultimately stay in in their early 20s.

Getting ahead is a complete myth. I've seen several people that were ahead lose nearly everything in the space of a year, and many more that worked themselves into serious depression by the time they got to retire.

If you don't want to travel that's fine. Don't pretend it's going to have any harmful impact on you or that travelling when you are 63 and rich is anything like travelling when you are 23.
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>>16953385

>working as a waiter so your gf can travel
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>>16953385
It depends on if you are actually doing what you want or not. You're talking about career drones and cubicle monkeys. Big difference to somebody who actually has a dream.
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>>16953259

im confused, what exactly is she asking here? everyone keeps talking about 'travel' but it doesnt quite seem like thats whats going on here.

from where to where does she want you to move? and why do you have to be a watier there? why does she want to move there?
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>>16953385
Don't be so dramatic.

The people who start early will have an advantage over those who dont. They'll always be younger then others in their same position and will stand out from the crowd. This will lead to faster advancement.
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>>16953259
The important part is what your "career" is and what plans you have. Can you tell us?

If you're 18 and are an intern in an office, a few months here or there don't matter. If you're 25 with a degree and working in an investment bank, it means everything. Most likely your situation is somewhere in between?
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>>16953420

I'm not being dramatic. I'm being realistic. Wasting a year or two when you are 23 will not have a big impact on your future success.

You guys are the ones being dramatic by saying "wasting a year of your life now will mean you fall behind when you are 30!" It's just fucking silly. Who are you even falling behind from? Who are you trying to get ahead of? What is this advantage? The advantage of what and against who?

If you've got a lot of momentum behind you then sure, don't waste that. But a year means absolutely nothing.
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>>16953444
Time, not a person. It is always better to begin saving sooner instead of living paycheck to paycheck.
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>>16953444
>who are you trying to get ahead of

Everyone I can.

>what's the advantage

Money and the things that go along with it.

If you wanna waste a couple years that's fine. It's not a responsible decision but provided your not retarded to begin with I'm sure you'll be fine.

That said when you decide to be an adult the more responsible people will be your boss.
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>>16953259
Jesus fuck, dump that selfish bitch.
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>>16953259
Don't let her crush your plans because of childish reasons like "prove to me that I'm number one". This is childish on so many levels. She is being a bad girlfriend, and if you conform to her, it will prove to her that you're a good doormat.
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>>16953398
Underrated post.

OP didn't mention travelling, he said she wanted to move away somewhere. Meaning, travel to a place, then stay there.

I love travelling as much as the next person but I think people put too much emphasis on going to "exotic" places and blowing loads of money to make that happen. If you have the means then go ahead, personally I'm OK with a day drip somewhere or a weekend flight to see family.

If it's not a part of your life plan to move somewhere, don't. You might think it sucks to lose your GF and be alone again, but there'll be other girls, and no all of them are going to want shit like this.
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It seems OP already had his mind made up and just wanted an echo chamber for his thoughts.

As a spectator, I'm curious what his gf actually wants. Her side of this is underrepresented as some vague desire to travel. I'm sure it's not that simple.
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>>16953259
>so I can prove she is my number one priority in my life.

Women should never be the number one priority. You need to be your top priority.
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>>16953444

>But a year means absolutely nothing.

Never give this advice to anyone. No one should ever fucking think this way EVER.

A fucking year can absolutely change everything in your life financially and career wise, and you have to be a non-inspired dullard with no aspirations in life beyond making enough to pay the bills, eat and enjoy occasional entertainment if you think 365 days of your life can be spent wasted because he/she wants you prove your love. (yes, including weekends, because it's possible to be productive on weekends while still relaxing and winding down).

Unless you plan on marrying this person, your priority in your life will always be to YOURSELF, not anyone else. You should never miss a chance to grow or miss an opportunity to advance yourself, ESPECIALLY if it's because someone is telling you YOU NEED TO PRIORITIZE ME! If your relationship goes sour, you are the one that loses the absolute most because you will never get that time back. Meanwhile, since that person never had any aspirations or thoughts for the future, they will be perfectly fine when they find the next idiot to latch on to and project their insecurities onto.

If a boy or girl is telling you to pick them over you building your career, leave. If they actually cared about building a long term, lasting relationship, they would respect your decision to pursue opportunities for personal and financial growth which ultimately, if they really plan on being with you long term, benefit both you and them. Forcing your significant to pick you NOW over something that can build their future is both a selfish and shortsighted act.

>She wants me to leave with her somewhere and find a job as something else like a waiter for two months

Absolute trash. Disregard any relationship candidate who honestly believes it's OK to become a fucking waiter living on tips.
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>>16953537
Only time I agree with a tripfag.
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>>16953537
Spending a year to strengthen a relationship is only a waste if you see it as such. I know a woman who dropped out of college to finance her husband's law degree, and they're still happily married 20 years later.

We don't know enough about OP and his relationship to say how it'd turn out one way or another. Based on his tone and the facts he's provided, it seems he already knows what he wants to do, so I'm not sure why he made this thread.
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>>16953556

Your example woman did something absolutely selfless to help her significant other because she was in it for the long term and knew in the long term that it would be good for both of them.

His girlfriend wants him to to put his life on hold to prove he is serious about her, put his current job / efforts to further his carrer on hold to go with her somewhere and "just get a job as a waiter for a couple months." Incredibly short sighted and stupid even to think that any good will come from this.

The comparison is night and day.

I honestly can't wait to see what happens months from now if he does this and he makes a thread about how he's stuck being a waiter because he can't find a decent job and his girlfriend is giving him shit because he lives off tips and can't buy her nice things to prove his love for her.
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>>16953259
>maybe I'm not a good boyfriend
>>16953259

You're a great boyfriend--but maybe just not for her.
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>>16953581
Like I said, we don't know enough about the situation. We don't even know what exactly his gf is proposing. A two month vacation? A permanent change of scenery? And most importantly, we don't know what precipitated this decision. People rarely want an escape from life without a reason.

I suspect OP is omitting crucial details because he thinks it would muddy the thread's overwhelming support of his perspective.

I'm not saying you're wrong. Based on what we know, it would seem his gf is an irresponsible leech in search of a gullible provider. But then, that's so often the bias of users on 4chan that I tend to believe there's more going on in these stories than we're hearing.
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>>16953303
first post, best post
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>>16953259
Dude, simply put, you will lose money chasing pussy but you will won't lose pussy chasing money
Thread posts: 31
Thread images: 1


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