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TL;DR I shit my pants and need to get away with it.
Last night I went for a drink with friends. I was wasted and was wearing my housemate's expensive leather jacket (she's a gal, it was ironic)
I don't do vodka or Jaegar because it fucks my stomach up but in drunken stupor accepted any and every shot, leading to
an absolute anal eruption. I managed to get to the bathroom in time, but I made a huge mess, it was all over my clothes and
all up the back of my friend's leather jacket. I sneaked out the bar without being seen and made it home without any
further accidents.
Problem is, the jacket is in my room (in a black bin bag) and I can't sneak it out the house to the bins without passing my housemate's rooms
or the kitchen/living room. They'll smell it as I go by. I can't leave it in my room either because it's smelling more and more like shit in here.
How do I get it out of here? I can't throw it out the window. I need to get away with this but I can't wait anymore, the stench is foul.
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>>16949733
Hide it somewhere until your roommate leaves the house and then go and throw it in the garbage bin, tell her you lost it and buy her a new one when you get money.
Only thing i can think of right now.
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>>16949733
>>16949733
man up and clean it.
Get antibac wipes and go to town
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>>16949767
I have promised to buy her a new one, at least. She's convinced I lost it at the bar or on the way home, so she's asked me to go look for it.
I'm worried that I wasn't as crafty about shitting myself as I drunkenly thought I was and if I play along and call the bar, they might remember me. A web of lies is growing and I don't wanna be known as the guy who shits himself.
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>>16949791
tell her you are going to town to look for the suit, and bring the suit with you then throw it and tell her you didnt find it
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>>16949733
Put it in 2 or 3 more bin bags to make it more air-proof.
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Update:
I attempted to get the bag outside. Got to the kitchen and found everyone's in there watching a film. So close...
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Tell her you found a hobo taking a crap on it behind the club and that you courageously beat the living shit out of said hobo, not only will it solve the situation, you'll get laid as well
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Burn paper, or if you have weed thats even better, it'll buy you some time
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