[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | | Home]

Is it narcissistic or unfair to want your significant other to

This is a blue board which means that it's for everybody (Safe For Work content only). If you see any adult content, please report it.

Thread replies: 14
Thread images: 1

File: 1413101373643.png (206KB, 335x307px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1413101373643.png
206KB, 335x307px
Is it narcissistic or unfair to want your significant other to get in better shape?

Don't get me wrong and I love my girlfriend and she turns me on, but she eats poorly. This is annoying in and of itself, like a lot of people, especially girls, she doesn't even want to try and understand basic nutrition and do's and don'ts.

I mean this in the way that she'll just starve herself when I'm not around, lie about what she's eaten, and try and get by on 600 calories for a day, then the next day or another she'll eat like 2500+ if she has take out or something.

She had a gym membership but basically can't hack it because her food intake is so fucking stupid she doesn't have energy and gets worn out and has weird dizzy turns from even sex sometimes.

Basically is it an asshole thing to do to want her to take better care of her diet? I'd like her to do it for herself but obviously if she does I have way more incentive to support her because deep down I want her to get a better physique and more importantly a nice fat ass.

Or am I just being selfish?
>>
Yes it's narcissistic and unfair to want your significant other to "get in better shape" for the purposes of preening yourself while concern-trolling as opposed to actively recognising and helping someone you love who is in a terrible situation.

From what you have described in terms of binge/denial cycles and having "weird dizzy turns", it sounds like your girlfriend has an eating disorder. Your girlfriend has an eating disorder because she has a personality type that likes to be in control of all the things in her life, and she feels that one or many aspects of her life is spiralling out of control. She is both punishing her body for being unable to be in control, and also controlling a fundamental and basic aspect of her life (eating) to obtain surrogate mental satisfaction out of it.

No matter how much you believe she is "ignorant" and she could "do better", believe me, your girlfriend fucking knows what she is doing and she will resist every attempt at your attempting to take away what she sees as her last means of control in her life.

What your girlfriend needs in terms of support is not the kind you are hoping to get advice on or give to her. You sound like a really toxic presence in her life. Either recognise what it is you are doing and fix it, or dump her before she really drives herself to suicide.
>>
>>16948833
>for the purposes of preening yourself while concern-trolling
what?
>>
>>16948833
Wew lad, I never said she was binge eating to the point that her health was in danger. She's told me she's just too lazy to cook food on a daily basis, and her desire for wanting to be slimmer but not put the work in be it diet wise or exercise wise is her own admitted fault.

Basically I wanted to know if there's a way to push her forward without her getting the wrong idea. Like I said I'm still attracted to her and love her, but she needs a push and I don't know how to go about it.

You basically took what I said to the extreme. I never even said it was a terrible situation, I appreciate the effort but calm your tits senpai. It's not that serious.
>>
>>16948843
Telling a fat woman "hey you're fat better stop shovelling those burgers before you die of a heart attack" doesn't make her drop a pound. All it does is make the fat woman upset for being insulted and condescended to (did you seriously think she had no idea she was fat until you told her) and possibly because it made you feel better to make a fatty cry because you don't actually care about that fat woman's health or well-being.

That's what concern-trolling is. You're just saying inflammatory bullshit while faking concern.

>>16948850
If you truly believed your girlfriend was too stupid to know what nutrition is and that stupidity is causing the binge cycles, then you would get her a bunch of books on nutrition and/or offer to meet the co-pay for a dietitian.

Instead you're worried about how her ass looks like when she's having dizzy spells, and you think all you need to do is "push" her into attaining a physical body that she is stressed about. That's a really toxic attitude.
>>
It's reasonable to want a partner who is in shape, but not to want the partner you already have to change. I don't even mean that in the whole "she's her own person" kind of way. I'm just calling out the fundamental responsibility you have in a relationship: YOU have to pick correctly and YOU have to leave if/when you find out that you made a bad choice of partner.

Whether or not you could have known, you clearly chose poorly. This girl's falling down the rabbit hole of a major eating disorder. The question is not whether it's fair to expect better from her or whether it's your job to fight through this situation. The question is how much of a raging mongoloid you'd have to be to stick around long enough to contemplate those questions. You're supposed to be with someone good, not fight through unnecessary bullshit for some indeterminate future.

Imagine you went and did something insane like get hooked on heroin right now. Do you really think that any self-respecting grown woman should stick around to see you back to sobriety, explore the causes of your addiction and pray that you become a better man? NO. SHE SHOULD FUCKING DATE SOMEONE WHO ISN'T A DRUG ADDICT.

Hope this helps.
>>
>>16948871
Congratulations on being an aggressive projecting cockgoblin. Did this subject touch a nerve?
>>
>>16948871
>Telling a fat woman "hey you're fat better stop shovelling those burgers before you die of a heart attack" doesn't make her drop a pound. All it does is make the fat woman upset for being insulted and condescended to (did you seriously think she had no idea she was fat until you told her) and possibly because it made you feel better to make a fatty cry because you don't actually care about that fat woman's health or well-being.
Actually I've seen data suggesting that something simple like a doctor saying "hey buddy smoking is really bad for you have you considered trying to quit?" is enough to get a lot of people to give it a go. Telling fat people to stop shovelling down burgers is legitimately good advice, because they will probably eventually die of a heart attack. That it's said with derision maybe doesn't make it as helpful as it could be, but it's true nonetheless.
I bet you're a female fuck women are retarded. How does it feel having 20% less neurons & brain mass?
>>
>>16948816
Drop her like a sack of bricks. Maternal malnutrition is super bad for babies and if this bitch doesn't eat well you know what you're asking for don't you? Get out now.
>>
>>16948871
>>16948833
Holy shit, take a chill pill homie.
>>
>>16948893
>>16948921
You seem to think that I am actually angry at anything just because OP happens to be a toxic little shit.
>>16948894
OP is not a doctor and this is not his informed medical opinion to a patient providing informed medical consent to confidential advice.

Please show me the statistical evidence on all the pounds these fat women have lost after being told they are fat and I am willing to change my mind.

>How does it feel having 20% less neurons and brain mass?
Brain mass is equal adjusted for overall body size between both sexes, and actually, the more neurons you have, the more likely that you have a neurological condition (Alzheimers, autism, schizophrenia) - neurotypical brains actively prune extraneous neural pathways. It's why women are less likely to have neurological diseases. Sucks to be a guy.
>>
I've known several people who did this, including my former roommate (who wasn't fat but had that pear shape). He would come up with some self proclaimed genius plan of doing a super strict diet and then forget about it one or two days later and binge. He's well on his way to becoming a surgeon so it has nothing to do with stupidity I'm shure. The thing is that when one feels bad about their body, they want to do everything they can to improve it, immediately! However the body isn't going to cope well with short-term starvation, as soon as glycogen is depleted it goes to survival-mode, where it just wants energy no matter what. Basically it's a matter of patience rather than determination. There's a lot to say about us being raised in a society where we can have whatever we want immediately as long as you can pay (but we can pay afterwards). Fitness happens to be the only thing for many that takes long term determination and patience, there's no magic-pill, no 5minutes a day workout, no one food-item to avoid and no short-term plan that works. Eating ~300-500 Kcal below maintenance is the only way to sustainably lose weight.

I often see the same with people who want to get /fit, they go on some 5day split workout and get injured after a month or so.

If you want to help her, I think the only chance would be to bring up a rational approach when she's on a binge, offer to cook for her so she doesn't get takeouts and don't go into starvation, it's good to eat plenty, as long as it's low energy stuff. I understand though that it's difficuilt to convince someone who wants to deal with their problem here and now to take a long-term approach.
>>
>This is annoying in and of itself, like a lot of people, especially girls, she doesn't even want to try and understand basic nutrition and do's and don'ts.

not wanting to try and understand things is a serious sign of either not caring or being a full blown moron. If it's the first, decide how much you'd care if she'd get fat. If it's the second (which seems to be the case as she does starve herself) decide whether you want to be with someone who's not just ignorant but willfully ignorant.
>>
>>16948953
>OP is not a doctor and this is not his informed medical opinion to a patient providing informed medical consent to confidential advice.
You don't need to be a doctor to know that chowing down burgers and carrying around 200lb of fat is bad for you you dense motherfucking retard.

>Brain mass is equal adjusted for overall body size between both sexes
Actually no it's still lesser even once you account for body size.
Thread posts: 14
Thread images: 1


[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.