Alright /adv/ listen up I need some help. I went out on my first

Miniature golf

you're only 19, so you're not behind in any way. it takes a long time to figure out how to do shit effectively when it comes to dating.

first off, you don't tell her you're looking for a relationship. i could get into all the reasons for this, but in the end all you really need to know is that the only thing that works is like you said, be yourself, but also be one step behind her romantically. you'll want to ask her if she has feelings for you, but if she had feelings for you enough to WANT to hear a question like that or have a conversation about that shit it would be SO OBVIOUS that you wouldn't need to ask. so you DO NOT want to be the one to bring that shit up. you want to just hang out with her, get her to like you, wait for her to bring it up.

how do you get her to like you? you already know--be yourself. but that doesn't really help, i know. what you really need to do is have your own shit going on, and let her feel like she's getting to be a little part of your world. you know how the most attractive people, the ones you got the biggest crushes on, barely even knew you existed? they didn't look around wondering where you were, they didn't bend over backwards to make you feel special, they just did their own thing. so just do your own thing and bring her into your wold a little bit sometimes.

keep it pulled back. no "hey it was great hanging out with you i really think we had a connection but i'm not sure you feel the same way blah blah blah". you never need to explain yourself unless she specifically asks, and even then explanations aren't always her business. never send a text that's longer than one page. you want to see her again? don't tell her what you want, let that want motivate your actions. you want to see her, invite her to do something. don't tell her how you feel, don't explain yourself to her, just do whatever you feel like doing. if she goes along with it, she's into it, if she doesn't go along with it...i mean there's no mystery there.

>>16947919
also don't put all your eggs in one basket. you're looking for a girl to date, hopefully a serious relationship, but you don't want to force a relationship with someone. just focus on trying to get laid. talk to whoever you want, talk to multiple girls, do as much as you can with them (carefully). if they want to have the "what are we" talk and make it more serious, and you want to be more serious with them, go ahead and drop the other girls you're hanging out with and get more serious. i mean you don't have to be fucking a million girls at once, or even more than one, but you don't have to be totally devoted and exclusive to a girl you're just starting to get to know, even if sex is involved (although it's safer).

honestly, girls are stupidly attracted to pieces of shit. so if you kind of act like a piece of shit, but deep down you're a good guy, you have a better chance of winning her over. it's like going undercover.

>>16947926
but doesn't that go against being myself?

>>16947945
not if you do it. it's literally impossible to be anything but yourself, because anything you do is something you would do. "just be yourself" should be taken more like "just focus on your own shit and be a person". be you, don't act like she's the main character and you're the love interest. you're the hero, she's the visitor.

>>16947898
Alright, if you have romantic interest in a woman you should take her where? Romantic places...places that will lead to sex. The more activities you plan out the better.

Please don't bring up the future when you're just dating. That puts pressure on the other party and makes you look needy.

Also, I'd wait at least a week or so before asking her on another date. It will make you look less desperate and seem like you have other things going in your life besides her.

>>16947898
heres a tip: dont use tinder. its literally beta males and landwhales, the app

>>16947968
thats a good point, although i feel like if i don't keep momentum she'll think i'm not interested and start talking to someone else

>>16947959
youve givin some good advice. thanks anon

>>16947919
Not OP but this is very good. I may need to follow this myself. Thank you, stranger.

>>16947898
>I have a felling like she might not be quite as interested romantically as me, but I feel like there's possibility.

Stop overthinking things and relax, it's really hard to read people who you barely know especially during the first date when you both still kinda have your shields up and can't really see where you're going. The fact that she's a girl and has probably lived a very different life from yours along with having a very different social circle from yours makes it almost impossible to make accurate assumptions