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Anonymous
Asking Out a Girl I've Rejected Before 2016-03-23 04:28:44 Post No. 16947590
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Asking Out a Girl I've Rejected Before 2016-03-23 04:28:44 Post No. 16947590
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So recently I've found myself attracted to my best friend, and I've been wanting to ask her out, but I don't know how I'm meant to do this. I'm bloody awful social-wise, so I have a hard time talking about anything, that's not for the sake of entertainment, with anybody, face-to-face. I've never had a girlfriend, and she's only had one boyfriend (who didn't act as nice to her as he should have), but I feel that we get along so well that I'd hate myself for not at least trying to escalate our relationship.
However, the difficulty comes when I consider the fact that she has asked me out in the past (2 years ago), but I rejected her, saying that I don't want a relationship (due to me still being unsure as to my sexuality, and not wanting to get involved in any relationship I may later regret, if I were to turn out to be something that would comprimise our relationship) and I have no idea as to whether or not she still likes me in that way, since it's been so long, so I don't know if I can save myself from whatever grave I've made for myself.
We get along brilliantly well, but she has trust issues, and has many problems that she doesn't want to tell others about, but I'm trying to be there for her, in those regards, and just try to be a good friend, by showing her that I am, and will always be, there for her, if she needs help.
So do any /adv/ anons have a stance on this, which might help. I just want to know if I've screwed things up, by rejecting her, and whether there is any way for me to ask her out, without being an awkward bastard about it. I'd just ask her out, but I don't want to put her in a bad position, and it may end up making our relationship, as it is now, worse.
TL;DR
I have a friend I want to ask out, but I've rejected her in the past (2 years ago). I'm trying to be as best a friend I can for her. Is it too late to ask her out?
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It probably depends on how serious she was when she asked you out. Was it just let's go on a date? Did she say she's in love with you?
If she had deeper feelings she might still have them. If not, she still might be willing to go out. Though you said she's dealing with her own issues, so there's a chance it'll be her turn to say she doesn't want to get involved in a relationship currently.
Only way you'll know is by trying.
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She was kind of forced into it, when she told two of her friends that '[I] may know', they took it as 'Tell [me]', so I knew, and she probably just wanted to know whether it was mutual. It came off as casual, but I know that it wouldn't have been easy for her to ask. However, we weren't really friends when she asked, and have only recently started to become more intimate friends, so whether such feelings are still there or not, I don't know, but I think she'd definitely be more confident with them.
Her issues are all very serious, but she tries to act as though there's nothing wrong, around people that she doesn't trust with that kind of thing (almost everyone, bar a handful). So I understand that she might not be ready for this, but I want to be someone that she can trust and find solace in, and I think that having that level of intimacy with each other will allow her to trust me more so than she does now.
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