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Are people alone for a reason? Is it just happenstance that they

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Are people alone for a reason? Is it just happenstance that they have no friends or is it because they are unlikable?

A-asking for a friend... oh, wait...
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>>16946884

Sometimes it's by choice, but people that are truly alone are lonely. Loneliness is horrible.
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For a lot of people it's too easy to end up alone, mostly by the nature of their habits. And being alone can turn into a habit of loneliness all its own.

Some people like being alone, but humans crave social interaction. Times have changed, and now people do more lonely things, sometimes together on the internet.
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I'm alone. I go out alone. I don't always leave alone. No, I am not constantly surrounded by people. Maybe if I started dealing weed I'd make friends... oh, wait... "friends."
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>>16946884
err, depends, you can have a schizoid personality so that means you just naturally don't gravitate to people. but if you had that then you wouldn't need to ask the question. if you feel the need to ask the question then it means you don't feel comfortable being alone, so you probably aren't alone out of choice, so yeah probably people just don't enjoy your company enough to want to be your friend and you don't put yourself out enough
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>>16946884
I figure if people want to get to know me, they'll talk to me. Nobody ever speaks to me, so I stay alone.

I wouldn't dare impose myself on somebody else.
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>>16946884
Neither, it is usually an absence of social skills and failure to take action and emphasize with people. Or a lack of interest in people instead of your own thoughts. Or not letting people you know you're interested in them. Or that you give people the wrong impression.
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One thing I've noticed about lonely people is that they never really share anything with others. I don't just mean about themselves, comments on other things are good too.
So they never break the ice with other people and so people stay cold, don't warm up to them and don't start talking freely with them.

I mean they do say some things... "how are you", "fine", sometimes emotional complaints, really boring sterile stuff.
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>>16946943
OP here, sounds just like me. How do I fix?
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Depends on the person. For my part, I'm alone because I don't really feel any particular need or desire for having other people around.
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>>16946943
>really boring sterile stuff
maybe i don't share because i have nothing interesting to say
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>>16946946
That's good I guess.

I'm not sure where exactly to start with a 'fix'. If you have a good opportunity to talk to someone go for it. It depends on the feel of the situation.

- If you are left alone with someone, start talking to them.
- If there's a group conversation and you relate to something just jump in.
- If you're sitting in a library next to some guys playing a game you know well, say "hey is that x?", "I used to play that, have you got to y part yet?".
- If you observe something interesting that's relevant to a person you know, mention it to them.
- If you're new to a club, and standing next to the only other new guy in the room, discuss thoughts.

Once someone knows you it's a lot easier to talk to them, and it gets increasingly easier.
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Try finding solace in your solitude. If that doesn't work, try making some online friends or read "How to Win Friends and Influence People"
The latter will turn you into a sociopath-lite, but you'll know how to manipulate people and maybe make cool people who would otherwise look you over become friendly with you.
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No friends here. I think part of the problem for me is I'm pretty picky. I don't want friends I have nothing in common with just so I won't be alone. The issue there, though, is that I never get to know anyone enough to find out if we even have anything in common.

>>16946924
I also have this problem. I assume if someone wants to get to know me, they'll make the first move. This hasn't happened and I haven't had friends in about 5 years (my entire time in college). I have talked to people in class but it never goes beyond that.

My hobbies are all things that are fun to do alone (vidya, mostly watching television shows and movies). I really have no idea how to find friends who enjoy those things and I don't know if I ever will. I don't want to have to change who I am to make friends.

I don't even know if anyone will read this shit but perfect thread to get it out.
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>>16947025
I think there's a trap there with expecting people to make the first move. It's that, if you see someone isn't talking much about anything, you'll assume they don't want to talk at all. Also, that talking to them might piss them off.

People generally don't give a shit what you talk to them about. Ask someone about quantum physics and they'll be like "I read a book on it once but I don't really know anything", they wont give a shit about the fact you asked (apart from being a bit more familiar with you and thus more friendly).

I remember one guy sat next to me in a lecture, asked what I did, and started talking about youtube channels with me. Basically if you want to find out if someone watches movies, just ask if they've seen any recently.
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>>16946884
I've had nothing but regrettable experiences with people since I was young. I stay away from them because they've all hurt me and I grew sick of putting effort into relationships only for them to burn me. The worst part is, I had a legitimately good friend not too long ago, but I dropped contact and ignored her because I didn't want to wait around for it to burn down. I wanted to end it on a high note, as I noticed the dipping point when we ran out of things to talk about and saw each other less often. I regret how I handled that as well.

I can't win with people really. All of my relationships have ended with some form of regret on my end, so I ignore the optional interractions if I can. I'm trying to get over it, but I just don't know if I'll ever be able to completely. I have a very deep distrust of people due to life experiences. That's my reason anyways. Cause if it isn't just someone uninteresting and dull it's someone who's too good to be true. I mean yeah I small talk and so on with people I work with, but I'm too crippled with fear to let anyone too close now.
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>>16946912
Not really... When surrounded by people with normal social urges, a while an undiagnosed schizoid will eventually notice something is different or missing and start asking questions.

Source: Schizoidfag.
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>>16946912
I used to want the company of others. I no longer desire it anymore. Even when I'm around other people, although it could just be that I'm unable to connect with people like myself. Every interaction I had ended quite badly in one way or another or wasnt fulfilling, and I just withdrew from it.

I dont even talk to my family anymore. I havent eaten a meal with them in over half a decade, and I only see them when I pass them in the halls of my house.
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>>16946884
People are alone so they can get found
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There's always a reason, whether self inflicted or socially.

I personally grew up very social. High school I started to close in on my real friends, then I went to a college program in High school & Became automatically antisocial. I made like five friends in the two years I went to college. & Kept like three from my past.
I started hating people so much. I just hate people. Disgusting things.
I'm not a mean person initially. But I am cold and distant so people don't approach me.
I actually have a pretty bubbly personality.
I crave one person to talk to and connect with.
A dog would probably work.
Some people just don't like others. But we are social creatures, I like interaction..
sometimes just sitting in a room of people satisfies that.
But I'm really good at approaching people that I deem okay. (Very awkwardly.) Ask tons of questions.
I even deleted my Facebook to be away from people.
I have a phone and there's random interaction sites like this one.
Everyone has their reason's. Rejection isn't so bad, it's just awkward. So if you see someone you want to talk to then just talk to them.
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