So I will throw a party next weekend. I want to be a good party

>Don't
Throw the party

Seriously, you're just inviting trouble

>>16946150
don't put toenails in the soda pop

Make deviled eggs.

>>16946150
don't answer the door naked unless it's that kind of party

>>16946150
don't take a big dump in your downstairs bathroom right before everyone shows up

>>16946150
don't tell everyone that you were molested as a child, even if it's true

>>16946150
don't stick your finger in cheese and then go around asking everyone to smell your finger

>>16946150
don't get really drunk and then talk to this one girl that's really hot and maybe even made out with you once or twice but you were always too much of a chicken to ask her out and when you're drunk you tell her a bunch of stupid shit that doesn't make any sense and then you don't know if you should even mention it again later or just hope she wrote it off

>>16946150
Don't ask people if your pants make your ass look big if you really do just have a big ass. That's just mean.

>>16946150
Don't lay on the floor with the first house pet you find. There may be more shy specimens hidden away in a bedroom.

>>16946150
Don't wear a polo shirt with a popped collar. That's like the universal douche uniform.

>>16946150
Don't snort Coca-cola. That's not what people mean by snorting coke. Trust me I know.

Stop. Torturing me.

>>16946150
Don't get into any of the following fetishes:
>cuckolding
>scat
>feet
>bugchasing
>piss (not as bad as the others, but ideally avoided)

>>16946150
Don't Fear the Reaper

>>16946150
Don't kill yourself after your party fails

>>16946150
Don't get high on your own supply

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>>16946150

>>16946150
Don't kiss your mom with tongue. Don't kiss your dad with tongue either.

>>16946150
Don't open a checking account for that Nigerian prince. He's a dick.

Don't throw a brick straight up

>>16946335
Kekd too hard thank you anon

>>16946150

Don't light your dick on fire unless you have a bucket of water to put it out.

>>16946241
Too much real life

Hide your valuables. Hide all irreplaceable photos.
Even if there's only 10 people, there's liable to be one motherfucker that one of your friends let tag along with them who's more than eager to either fuck with you or take anything that he could sell easily.

>>16946302
In what world (other than your mind) is it bad to get a foot massage that turns into hot kinky steamy sex but its perfectly acceptable for you to get pissed all over??? I don't get that.

>>16946241
Pray to god she got drunk too while you're at it.

Also OP don't blast your shitty music all over the house in different rooms unless it's like your band or something.

You can leave out speakers for people to use though if you know everyone pretty well.

>>16946947
And I mean everyone.

Just like >>16946938 said.

Be loud and obnoxious. Single one person out in front of everyone and make them as uncomfortable as possible. Be sure you act strange and stupid around this person.

Give social cues and strange hints that don't make sense.

In all seriousness though, be laid back, enforce some basic rules, provide some treats or beverages regardless of alcohol content. Provide some form of entertainment like tabletop games, guitar hero, twister, beer pong, maybe a music setup or something.

>>16946205
please do this, i love parties with deviled eggs

also corndogs make pretty awesome party food too because you can hold a drink and a corndog at the same time

Have locks on all of the doors you do not want to be accessed and establish some sort of barrier to those areas IE. you don't want anyone upstairs by/in the bedrooms, lock all of those doors, buy locking handles if necessary to do so, and put something up at the stairs like one of those gates to keep small children out.

Get all of the shit you don't want stolen or broken hidden away in those locked rooms.

Have food and drinks ready, especially shit like corndogs you can make when everyone's hammed. Have soda and water available as well as liquor and beer.

Make sure you have a way to play music pretty loud and a good playlist.

Have a solid amount of table space and chairs for things like kings cup as well as space for a beer pong table, optimally two. Make sure they're not sitting on carpet or floor that will get fucked up.

If cops will potentially be an issue make sure you have setup parking so as to look discrete, a discrete area outside for smoking, block all of the windows and figure out just how loud the music can be before it leaks outside, speak to your neighbors ahead of time and stress to them to contact you first should there be a problem if they don't hate you.

Have a couple of friends available to help bounce/help out with any problems.

Make sure you've invited enough so that it won't be lame as shit without having so many people you're guaranteed to have shit fucked up.

Put away photos you don't want to risk losing.

Have cups and ice available.

Blacklights, christmas type light strings, and other kickass lights are always a plus to have, I've never been to a place where there was too many.

A good backdrop on a wall somewhere for selfies always looks good.

People love theme parties but you need to give them enough time to prepare themselves for it and also for yourself to decorate as best you can to that theme.

Don't expect to get anything more than kinda buzzed unless you're willing to get your shit fucked up.

Lots of pillows and blankets

>>16947792
Make sure there's a good ratio, some extra sausage isn't bad but anything worse than like 1 chick:2.5 dudes will be bad

Have signs for the bathroom, bar, and the wifi password

Put some effort on decorating, even like some balloons or something, try to create the best party atmosphere you can

Have extra trash and recycling bins around both for their intended purposes and to catch puke if necessary.

Have a sign with simple rules near the main entrance IE no fighting, upstairs is off limits, if you drove here the host takes your keys until...

Having a personal breathalyzer is really handy to help with the whole letting people leave but it depends on how you handle that as a host.

A manned door is never a bad idea.

If someone arrives that you didn't invite and didn't want to attend you either have them leave immediately at risk of them calling in your party (if you're underaged) or assume that something bad will happen (assuming the reason you didn't want them there isn't some petty bullshit).

Have a couple of spare phone chargers and condoms.

Don't play strip-anything with women who either are known cunts or can't handle their liquor.

>>16946150
don't throw the party if you have to ask these kinds of questions. do go to enough parties that you are comfortable throwing your own.

>>16947792
>>16947828
thank you

Don't do crystal meth before the party starts

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>>16946150
Stay relatively sober so you can make sure things are alright and not go out of hand in which you should be able to take care of it, preferably don't go chasing girls or just socializing with a small number of people since you are the and should be everyone's friend.

If you don't want your house thrashed then don't allow uninvited guests to come in, especially guys and/or people you don't know. Do mention it to everyone but don't be pessimistic about it.

And be easy going, people can't have fun if you don't allow it. Its hard to maintain a balance especially when people get drunk but if you are scared of wine spills then just put a blanket over your couch and remove your favorite rug from the floor, might be good to idiot proof your house as well. Drunk people are like adult sized babies and will act similarly.

>>16948670
This is good advice.

Make sure to get sufficient amounts of alcohol and snacks. Don't go overboard, but make sure your guests can have 2 or 3 drinks.
There's hopefully going to be good people bringing some themselves.

>>16946150
Don't talk to strangers
But seriouly don't pass out, you don't know how much your home will be fucked up otherwise

1. Ask people to bring music so you don't play shit that everyone hates
2. Ask people what kind of alcohol they want
3. Don't let in random uninvited cunts
4. Don't get drunk
5. Make sure you stash away stuff that breaks easily
6. Have a garbage can ready for pukers
7. If people want to bring stuff then tell them to bring alcohol
8. No crazy snacks