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i really need closure on this issue right now

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so last year i started university,and i was determined to get a gf/fuckbuddy by any means from the start

about the fourth week in, some of us had a class dinner to go out partying afterwards

well, there was this swedish girl i had started to talk to one day, since she struck me from the moment i first saw her: tall, blonde, and she had a beautiful face (by my standards); she looked (and actually acts) a lot like phoebe from the show friends

i had previously been texting her about going out one night together, but only got vague responses from her, so this dinner was my chance

once we were at the club, i directly chatted her up, danced with her, and ended up making out with her for several hours (yes, hours) and even went away from the club to finger her in a nearby lonely alleyway

what happened next is basically we agreed to stay as "special friends", but we kept making out from time to time, but nothing more

as time passed, we got more intimate though, and at the moment, we already have both given each other hjs and bjs

SO, my problem is that we're now basically a couple, BUT we haven't had actual sex yet

the thing is i sort of fabricated my whole past to make her think i was this huge player guy (i thought that would make her super attracted to me) when in reality she's one of the first women i've ever been with

i asked her if she'd like to have sex and she said she'd think about it, but she's worried that it's not gonna mean the same for me as it will for her or that it'll fuck everything up

we're going on an uni break soon, so she'll have time to think

my question is: do i wait and see what she says (suspense is fucking killing me) or do i come clean and tell her i lied about my past? will that actually make it better? how to convince her? what do you think she'll say?

any help appreciated! thank you very much in advance!!!
If the lie happened right at the beginning of you talking to her, come clean and tell her you were nervous and trying to impress her.
If you had been talking for a while already then admitting this might make her unable to trust you again.
Also, never tell this lie again. No woman, no matter how slutty, wants to be just another notch on your belt. They all want to feel special.
i totally understand, but that's precisely my doubt

i really think she'll stop trusting me if i tell her the truth, but i just don't know

what do you think she'll say?

and no, obviously i'll never do that shit again
>we gave each other bjs
wow are you sure it's actually a girl?

but really I think you are overthinking it

You're telling us you are meeting a girl a few times a month, making out, doing oral, and she won't have sex with you? In that case the issue is 100% on her side, she is just finding dumb excuses to not fuck IMO. Like, it would mean a lot for her to have sex with you, but blowing you is totally fine?

I mean in my experience, if the girl is sexually active, there is never a big gap between making out, getting her excited as fuck and actually fucking, it just ends up happening naturally with well-adjusted girls. So I don't think that you lying about being a player has anything to do with that
but why the shit wouldn't she want to fuck? that's what bothers me, we have done everything, just not that single thing

seriously, what the fuck?
honestly I can't answer but you're right
that's a reaction strange enough to make me sure it's totally related to her and not your attitude

I've not been with tons of girls but usually the moment you are able to put your hands down her panties, you are 99% guaranteed to fuck
right...the only real explanation she has given me i could somewhat understand (aside from the "idk, you're just a player" bullshit) is she thinks it'll make her totally committed to me and it'll eventually fuck everything up if we break up because she then won't be able to properly focus on studies (we're both failing pretty hard so far) but this is honestly one of the strangest situations i've ever been in, and i don't even see that reason as valid, really...
I really don't see how it's more commited to go to a guy to fuck rather than go to a guy to suck him desu senpai
don't worry, neither do i
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