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A friend of mine texted me while I was out of town saying that

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A friend of mine texted me while I was out of town saying that she spotted my boyfriend at a club feeling up some girl. I wanted to believe her because she's never lied to me but I also wanted to check with him. When I returned, I asked him what he did while I was gone and he said he went out with some friends. I asked if he was with any girls and he bluntly said that he hooked up with someone while I was gone. He doesn't see it as a big deal but I'm scared and confused. For the record, we don't have an open relationship and he knows that I've been cheated on before and would consider that cheating. I guess I'm just not comprehending this because he's treating it like it's no big deal. What do I do now?
>>
look on the bright side, at least his honesty policy is airtight.

keep him.
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>>16939584
You have to break,up with him, of course. You're in shock right now because he's not acting like it was a secret. It's incredibly bold, but not unexpected. Some people like to test the waters like pieces of shit. You just need to rely on your friends right now and lose contact with him.
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>>16939584
The unfortunate truth: he probably isn't thinking it's a big deal because he wants to break it off.

Get rid of him, he sounds like a shitty dude.
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He cheated on you, what part is confusing?
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>>16939592
That doesn't really apply here.
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>>16939597
>>16939601
I asked him if it meant that he wanted to break up but he said that our relationship was good so why should we. We live together too so now I'm just trying to figure out where I go from here.
>>16939605
I guess I just don't understand why he'd do it, knowing it bothers me, then tell me about it.
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>>16939614
Time to move out
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>I guess I'm just not comprehending this because he's treating it like it's no big deal. What do I do now?

If you haven't had the DTR talk yet, then he could be excused for not having yet agreed to a monogamous relationship. If you have had the DTR talk and you know that he knows that you were expecting a monogamous relationship then he cheated on you and the "???" response is a smokescreen trying to manipulate you into accepting the situation.

I will say it's a good thing that he's honest about it, and if you hadn't asked for monogamy yet, then maybe give him another chance. But somehow I doubt that is going to end well, so you probably want to just dump him.
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>>16939614
Woah, he sounds like a superdouche. Look for a way to get out, seems like he thinks he has you on 'lockdown.' Time to show him you won't deal with this shit (or any). Unless you will put up with it...is being treated like shit what you want?
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Pack your shit up and get out of there.
If you accept this and forgive him you'll be giving him the green light to fuck other people behind your back forever.
You need to get out for your own self respect.
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>>16939614
How long have you guys been dating??
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>>16939712
We did and he knows that I consider what he did to be cheating but he also says that I was out of town.
>>16939727
This is the first time this has happened so I'm torn. I'm ready to leave if that's what it comes to but it's just really weird.
>>16939738
2 years.
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>>16939748
So going out of town means your temporarily broken up. So move his stuff into the local dump of the next town over.
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>>16939778
Then go sleep with a guy that understands monogamy and isn't retarded.
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>>16939614

>I guess I just don't understand why he'd do it, knowing it bothers me, then tell me about it.

Because, when it comes right down to it, he really doesn't care how you feel. He prioritized short-term, instant-gratification pleasure over your long-term sense of trust and stability.

>he said that our relationship was good so why should we

Again, he does not care how you feel. He's getting what he wants out of this relationship, he's getting other things he wants outside the relationship, so in his mind it's win-win. For him, your happiness or self-esteem don't really factor into the equation at all.

His boldness and calmness about saying this to you suggests that he REALLY doesn't give a fuck. This will not get better. He will continue to walk all over you until you leave.
>>
>>16939748
Christ he sounds delusional. You're out of town so he can cheat on you?? That's some shitty, half-baked justification right there
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OP won't break it off, look at her responses. /thread
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>>16939864
I mean I'm not dumb. But I'm telling him that this was a fucked up thing for him to do and he says that he had needs. Plus, I'd rather keep my apartment since he's the one who moved in with me, not vice versa.
>>16939794
Yeah you're right, I just wish it didn't have to end. We never really had problems up until this point.
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>>16939584
He doesn't give a fuck about you and he's trying to manipulate you into thinking it's your fault and that you deserve it. He's trying to turn you into a doormat. Do not allow this to go any further. It will destroy your confidence and self-esteem.
Thread posts: 20
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