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Win some, lose some

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Thread replies: 8
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20/m
I have nowhere else to turn to.
I'm going on a trip to another state in a couple days, but I may sacrifice someone else's happiness for my own.
Here's the story:
I've recently gotten out of a relationship with a girl who is very depressed, but who is an exceptional partner in a relationship setting.
She is very troubled, so her insecurities became my own insecurities. I became paranoid about every little thing she did, due to her depression making her act distant and shady.
Well, she ended up taking a trip with a group of friends up north to a snowy/wooded area so she could "find herself" and after weeks of emotional despair, falling in and out of each other's lives and arguing, she claimed that the only male in their group of four had had sex with her whilst she was drunk and asleep.
We started hooking up again, weeks later and for a few nights after we'd have really great sex, she would cry and say that she hates herself for what happened and swore up and down that it wasn't intentional. I don't believe her; we argued about it one day and she defended this guy's confidence and ability to get laid all the time, which made me question her "lack of consent". she always orgasms intensely upon our intimacy, and claims I am the best partner she has ever had, is she disarming me with that?
My paranoia with her and the guy was correct, so I believe my distrust is justified.
Well, we had a falling out again and I recently began talking to an old friend of mine who lives out of state; a girl, who invited me to visit her. i'll be gone for a week. That ex and I fell back together again after some time(without the title, but with the sex and affections. The title is out of the picture because my friends were the ones who warned me about the guy who fooled around with her.) and she will excommunicate me if I leave. I do love her, but I also wanna get out of my box and visit another state. I hate displeasing people. What should I do? Am I a bad person?
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OP here.
This trip was not to get laid, just merely to experience intense hiking and nature.
I planned it to escape the emotional trauma this whole scenario had caused me. Now I feel worse. I don't know what to do.
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Will post cool art I've saved whilst waiting for replies... -OP
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I'm a pretty emotional guy so this has had a huge affect on me, although I'm fit and in college. The human brain is so strange
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Both male and female input please. I need as much advice I can possibly get from you all. Thank you
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Thread posts: 8
Thread images: 7


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