Get it off your chest

All vampires are MADE, not born. And so I was made and so I am.

I know I can't please everyone, and probably make others mad at me.
But I never thought that you, that I consider as good friend, talk shit behind my back and blocked me so you won't have to deal with me.
Holy shit dude, I thought we were cool and you have no regrets for that? Oh fuck off. I have lost all my respect for you.

>>16910479
Dude. I know right? That builds so many more issues in trusting new people. Sucks so much.

Wish someone else had the same way you think, act, care, and decide just like you but older and found me interesting.

I mean really. You're so perfect on my eyes. Even your looks. Why am I inadequate to be someone to talk to? Am I just ugly to you? Do I scare you? Am I creepy for even asking you how your day was? Should I really move on knowing that there will be an even more slimmer chance to find someone almost exactly like you?

My answers may never be answered. And I will probably become uncofident towards other girls that share some of the thing I like about you. But man, I shouldn't let this bother me. Yet it does because no one has the idea of how amazing and perfect you seem to me. And you've let me down from the read text messages and the building doubt of ever being adequate for you.

In the end. I don't know what to do.

Why do I even care anymore? Why am I so undesirable? Why did the one person that wanted me have to be at the other side of the planet? Why do I have to be the loner who'll never find her? Why did I have to be born into such a poor dysfunctional family and why do I have to be the product of a lying, manipulative and selfish father and a mentally fucked up and emotionally scarred mother? Why do I fall for people and why does it never happen the other way around? Why do people expect me to suddenly cheer up when I'm getting fucked by all sides of life? Why did I have to work my ass off for decent grades whilst everyone else managed to bullshit their way through their academics? Why can't I be happy with life at all? Why does it have to be that I have to be the one to initiate and risk it? Why can't I be insecure in public without being pushed out of social groups and isolated?

Do all these posters complaining about a girl not liking them... Pick a girl based on ANYTHING besides how she looks? Or let me say it this way- if she wasn't attractive, would you still be posting about her??? There's a learning opportunity in your emotions: what am I valuing here, and when it isn't reciprocated, isn't it because I'm not being valued for the exact thing I want in her?

>>16910494
It sounds like you're really into her for who she is. Which is great, except it comes across a lot like you're weighing up your back up options already without giving this a chance. This may come across as unattractive, because it seems like there's not much that sets her apart from them to you, she could be anyone. If she knows you're still trying it on with others that may share some of her qualities, that's painful and won't make her feel it's her you need, that you want

I'm so behind in uni. I feel sick. I have so much work I've put off and no time to do it. I feel like the clock is counting down all the time and i feel despair.

How am I supposed to make friends and whatever when i'm not functional enough to get through college?

Thank you for sticking up for me but I'm getting a better handle on my shit now. Let them say what they want if it's that important to them, it can't affect me now that I got my anxiety and shit under control for the most part. Sorry for stressing everyone out and everything and thank you for not bailing. In retrospect this was stupid as hell but at least I learned more of what my problem is and gained some insight in that regard so I can take steps to keep it under control. Still not entirely sure about all the details of some things and would like to talk and sort it all out, would help me make some sense of some things. Being in that state of mind left me very confused and scatter brained for a long time, not that I'm still not a little confused but at least I don't constantly feel like there is some lingering doom. All I can do is try and do what's necessary to keep from slipping back into that state of mind and make right some of my wrongs. And to clear up some of your misconceptions it was never about pride but about the principal. I wish I could go back and change some things but I can't.

I'm frustrated as fuck right now, I hate this shit.
My friend and I reconnected recently. We've always gotten along well, but somehow, things *clicked* this time around. I can't get him out of my head. He gives me butterflies, makes my head spin, and I can't stand it.
We're polar opposites. Complete and polar opposites. We can't get along for anything. He's ultra conservative and I'm a free spirited *~love and peace for all!~* hippie type, we argue (and I get incredibly pissed off, honestly) about anything controversial. We can't agree for shit on any kind of issue that, I think, is important for a couple to fundamentally agree on in order to have a solid relationship. I want to fucking strangle him every time he opens his stupid fucking mouth about politics, oh my _god_ (we spent two hours arguing about Trump last night, he supports him and is actually incredibly intelligent despite that, I'm pissed).
And he's not my type, physically, at all, which I'm struggling with less because it's not about looks, but sexual attraction is important, too. He _is_ a good looking guy, but he's very large/burly and masculine with a beard - very lumberjack, very muscular.
Not my thing. At all.
But otherwise, we get along so well. And he won't stop coming on to me. Every time I push him away, he comes back even more insistently. I have BPD, and he knows I do, and he is one of the only people who can calm me down and handles my mood swings and attitude and anger with ease, like it's nothing. It all rolls off of him.
His voice soothes my anger, so easily.
I'm afraid of him. He's not what I want. But he won't let me push him away anymore. It's been 3 years of friendship and him asking, and now he just won't take 'no' for an answer, and I find myself falling for him regardless.
I feel like a victim to my own emotions.

fuck salt

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Ugh, I'm so anxious about later.

>>16911424
Are you a slug?

>>16911572
no, i'm a bleach drinker

>>16910668
It's cause she's still in highschool. I'm in college.

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>>16911581
Did my question make you chuckle at least?

Why do we STILL do this. It's so pathetic. You try harder than I do though and I acknowledge that.
I just can't get myself out of this toxic frame of mind. All I can think about is why you deleted it and if I am not the only one who has seen that gif. Why can't I just trust you. Why am I so fucking damaged. I almost WANT you to have 'cheated' on me so when you inevitable run for the hills at least I can tell myself it wasn't completely my fault.

>>16911592
Yeah, it was good

>>16911414
Looks aren't everything. Opposites attract. What's inside matters. Those should be good enough reasons to let it not bother you?

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>>16911598
I'm glad I could release some of your endorphins.

>>16911612
off to clean my keys

I want to start drinking again. I'm not addicted to alcohol but I know my life would be better if I could have a drink every once and awhile. Drinking just makes me happy and makes all my anxiety go away. But it makes my boyfriend uncomfortable and then I feel really bad about it. I went 2 months without drinking and then I got some money and went out with my sister and had an irish car bomb and some shots. It was so awesome and I hadn't been that happy in a long time. Then my bf showed up later that night and I felt awkward like I failed him. Fuck!

>>16911616
Okay pal. It won't kill you, though. Just hurt a wee bit.

>>16911605
>Looks aren't everything
Getting over it and realizing this is shallow, I know.
>Opposites attract
Which may be true, but we don't agree on the littlest of things. We get along great as friends, but he jokes about making me his girlfriend and I know he wants to date me, and lowkey I want his dick baaaaaaad right now but that's just a recipe for turmoil. being borderline, this isn't healthy at all for me (it isn't for anyone really). he is great at helping me reel my emotions back in but i don't like the turmoil.

Cliches are just that, cliches.

I wish I could tell you how much I hate you. How the loving father that I knew for twenty years turned out to be nothing more than a fucking lie. Its been three years since you left and I keep telling myself that im moving on, but I can't. You brought me down to the darkest pit I've ever been and I can't see a way out. I feel as if I'm paying for your fucking sins, because everywhere I look I feel rejected and disappointed. I just dont want to have this hole inside me anymore.

I miss you. Even if we can't/shouldn't talk right now you should update me about you and your family. Hope we talk soon.

>>16911627
it was quite the shocking experience.

>>16911741
KEK I'm sure the experience was electrifying.

>>16911747
quite.

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>>16911753

I'm a total hypocrite for being sorta resentful of my girlfriend having a hookup during a short breakup we had, but there's little doubt in my mind that I would have done the same if I'd gotten the chance.

Thankfully that realization has dialed my resentment down from a 10 to like, 2.

>>16911618
There are a few issues here.
If you're being honest and you don't actually have a problem with alcohol, then you need to get to the root of why your bf is judgemental when you drink - or why you feel as though he is. Try and talk it through calmly some time away from actual events. Find out what his concerns are right now, and discuss them.
If this is something that you enjoy, occasionally, that doesn't cause any harm to anyone then he needs to learn to be ok with that.

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>>16911778

Our friendship is so fake.

You just vomit boring blogposts at me while I sit and nod because I wanna motorboat your huge tits someday.

I don't even think you realize how little I care. I don't even want to date you or want to feel any emotional affection from you. Even if you told me you had feelings for me, you've got this BPD vibe that'd make me highly doubt its legitimacy anyway.

I literally just want to fuck you once or twice and never hear from you again.

u got to life the life u want to life

~~**WisdomGuy**~~

Been betrayed by almost everyone I've connected with. They've confused my kindness and dignity for the relationship with them for weakness, and out of "honor" I've held onto them, to the point where I'm now constantly degraded by them wherever I'm around them.

Living with a psycho brother, who constantly manipulates the family and attempts to blackmail me out of entertainment that we share if I don't lower my position in the family.

Fucked up my exams, pleasuring my psycho brother recently.

Been betrayed and heart-broken from a mutual crush of 7 years.

Been degraded by more people I've met simply by instinct.

What the fuck is life...

You have been in and out of my life since we broke up two years ago. You have been screwing my recovery. I did my best to move on and find other things to keep my life's gears spinning. We fought to the point of "Fuck you, I don't wanna see you EVER again or I'll call the cops on you" towards each other thrice, and still, every time we stumbled upon each other you still seeked my acknowledgement, then my conversation, my understanding, then my friendship. I end up obliging, it's hard to say "no" when you love someone truly. But then you disappear. I keep the deal I made with myself, to not be the one to greet or send the first message. So you come back when I start to forget about you.

And last Christmas, you did it. When your presence didn't cause me an anxiety attack anymore, you blurted it out without me asking. You had broken up with your boyfriend. You told me to seek you out if I needed something. You were the one to ask permission to give me a hug because my birthday and Xmas had passed. And we talked, again. And you got me to worry about you, again. And just like that, you have disappeared, more so than ever before, despite how much you seemed to need to talk to me.

You are fucked up. You have so many insecurity issues. You screwed your brains by abusing drugs so much from ages 12 to 16. You stopped when we became close friends, but the damage was done. You were abused by your family and some classmates, and ended up being too afraid to be without friends, to the point of letting them abuse you. You shouldn't be functioning in society. I shouldn't love a person like you.

We can never get back together, because of you. I hate your mother, who kicked you out of the house so many times and hit you too much. I hate your junkie sister, who is even worse than you ever were. You cannot be without your mother. You have an almost pathological need to be abused now. You need to feel guilty, it'd seem. That might be why you're drawn to me, still.

>>16911857
You feel guilty about having broken me to pieces. About abusing me so much it drove me to a suicide attempt because I wasn't thinking right. But, every time you do this, some little remnants of the love I feel for you get extinguished. One day, I'll get over you completely. It'll be too late for you. I may remain single the rest of my life, but I know I'll have done the right thing. I will eventually have no regrets at all. I will be able to say:

"Why should I be sad? I lost someone who didn't love me. But you... You lost someone who would have done everything in his power to share the happiness he felt at your side".

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>>16911572
>>16911778
>>16911789

Im an asshole, i admit it.
But i can never undo what i did, unsay what i said etc.

Im really a mean person who create drama and conflict, and that's why im gonna keep being a loner.

There is no way i can fix myself though, things always defaults back to chaos eventually, like it was a law of nature.

>>16910211
vampiric people are weak and insecure by nature. you weren't so much made as beat down to the point that you try to justify where you are with delusions of something "cool"

and it's not so much that you couldn't get better its that you believe your delusions so much that you REFUSE to pick yourself up and remember who the fuck you are.

you're lost if you actually believe what you wrote here and this is your wakeup call. even if I wasn't spot on, I've met enough people that talk like you to know I'm in the ballpark.

get the fuck up.

>>16911800
>▶
You care enough to write this, don't you?

>>16911913
Fuck you. I'll still be alive when you dead. And I pick myself up ery goddamn mutherfuckin day.

I sometimes admire my ability to make enemies.

>>16911968
>And I pick myself up ery goddamn mutherfuckin day.
then you have a chronic problem that being a "vampire" isn't fixing.

do you know the definition of insanity?

>>16911875
k.

any necromancer gonna help revive this thread or nah

>gf cheats on me with a girl and decides to leave me for her
>get super depressed
>fast forward one month and getting better
>can't fap to anything involving women without getting super depressed
>thinking that every girl is a closeted lesbian who'd much rather be with other women
>lesbian porn has gotten hotter but that type is the worst

Just end me, trannies and traps are repulsive but I still manage to get off to them somehow

>>16911985
Da fuck you again, troll. What, did you have some dipshit goth bitch dump you and so you think I think I'm really a vampire? Jesus fuck you don't know me this is a venting thread you self-righteous bitch -- YOU are the one who's insane giving this bullshit to someone who just playin.

Thinking about day drinking, but nothing to eat in my house. Don't wanna drink and drive later for dinner, don't want pizza because I just had some earlier this week....what should I do?

>>16912035
nah.

you don't revive these. they go at their own pace and inevitably get to bump limit and then get reposted.

>>16912073
Order wings

>>16910208
She was my first, the first girl i kissed, had sex with and actually fell in love with. We were together for a little more than a year. I loved her more then anyone else. We had some amazing moments together, journed to several different countries, played video games together, worked out, we did everything.Although we had some rough spots in our relathionships aswell.. The fights we had werent healthy for me, I would get blamed every time even though she was completely in the wrong, hell even if she had done something wrong it somehow came down to that I was in the wrong. and everything was suddenly my fault. In just a little bit more than a month ago her former bestfriend returned. She was and is a manipulative cunt who was the sole reason for many of our earlier fights. She did not only befriend my gf but managed to get herself evicted from her apartment and suddenly moved in with my gf. This put a strain on our relationship so damn much. I wanted this to work but you shut me out, you who spoke of marriage an that we were made or each other. You broke my heart and I'm glad I left you.

>>16912082
That's a good idea because I love wings, but I don't think I've got a wing place close enough to deliver....I only know of wing street though, but I know they don't deliver.

Ive lost faith in humanity .

dressed like absolute garbage today. wearing my laundry day/working under the car clothes. think I'll take the sports car to the store lol.

#idontgiveafuck
#thelookonpeoplesfaces

it's a good day. lol

I'm really scared, I haven't seen him in almost a week now. He's usually always online and talking to me, but he suddenly isn't. I can't get a hold of him at all. I've looked on missing persons sites and there's no listing for him but I'm certain something happened since he would be on telling me otherwise. I'm super worried

>>16912356
Probably in jail.

>>16912360
I didn't think of that. His parents are assholes, maybe it got physical..

>>16910208
I've finally come to realise that my entire life is going to be a failure.

I can't socialise, I've tried to improve my socialisation many times with many different methods, but in reality, I will never be social. It's against my nature.

I am going to fail academically. I am not going to ever go to university. My parents dream of me becoming something more, like my sister is simply a lie.

Everything in my life is a lie, I will not achieve anything I say I will. It's not that I am negative, I believed the lie until I realised I am physically unable to do anything I want to.

I want to kill myself but can't bring myself to do it. I will not survive the guilt of being a failure. My only solution it to fake my own death.

I hate my self because I suck at being a normal human.

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I got a huge crush this girl, but I am too scared to confess my feelings to her.
I have already asked her out a couple of times, and we have been to movies together twice.

>>16912404
There is no normal

This been bothering me but a family member keeps snooping through my shit and started hacking into my phone. I got a new one and wondered if they can hack into it remotely? With android it's simple as using metasploit, but now I own an iPhone 6s. Thoughts?

I wish people didn't believe in me. My parents, my friends, my professors, they all believe that I can get through this major and graduate. But I'm 24 and only have sophomore standing, and every fucking day is such a goddamn struggle mentally. I'm bad at the material and constantly stressed that I'll fail out again. Everything is so fucking hard and I want to quit. I honestly want to quit. But I don't want to let everyone down, so without meaning to I begin to have suicidal thoughts again. I hate the idea of still living after having disappointed everyone who believes in me. I don't want to live with the shame. It used to be unbearable and that's why I tried offing myself the first time. If I couldn't achieve being the person I wanted to be, I didn't want to live at all. Deciding to keep on living is the worst decision I've ever made. Everything is so fucking difficult now that I'm trying to create a life for myself. I don't even know what I want my future to be. I don't know what I'm trying to do, here.

The worst part of all of this is that I've developed feelings for somebody for the first time in three years, and it's a total goddamn mindfuck. I'm constantly distracted by thoughts of "Am I even good enough for them? Why would someone like that ever be remotely interested in someone like me?" and the huge toll it's taking on my already-low self-esteem is humiliating. The fact they're so nice to me makes me feel worse - it's another person's expectations to live up to. I have all these people thinking I should be capable of doing better, but I can't pull myself out of this hole. Maybe I never will be able to. Maybe I should just try suicide again. I'd rather be dead than string everyone along just to let them down again.

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Why the FUCK are people so unreliable?

Seriously, everyone I know.

I have Saturday - Monday off every week so it leaves plenty of time to hang out with people.

>Oh anon, let's go out this weekend!

Get flaked out on Friday, get flaked last minute last night, and I haven't gotten a reply from a text I sent 4 hours ago asking if we were good for tonight.

How hard is it to not get my hopes up by saying "Let's go out!" all week if you aren't fucking sure.

>>16911627
Couple weeks ago I was putting something back together and it didn't work when I plugged it back in so I unplugged, reopened, stuffed what looked like a loose wire back into where it apparently had not come from after all lol, closed, replugged, and it sent a fountain of sparks up 3 feet in the air. It was really pretty. Smelled like ass though. Still not sure how tf I didn't get shocked when I yanked the plug back out, nor how it managed not to damage anything else.

im pushing the only people who will ever love away so they wont care when i eventualy comit suicide

Okay so you don't talk to me all week and you just told me that you were playing a game all day even though Sunday is the day that WE! agreed that we could actually call each other and talk. Because YOU apparently don't have the time to communicate more than once a week even though I'M the one with the full-time job. But okay, fine.

I'm wondering if you're just a waste of time. I don't know if I even love you anymore because all I see is your selfishness.

>>16912591
story of my life

actually not really, i barely even make plans with people anymore, but i know the feeling

i just wish i had a friend, someone to talk to

>>16913077
Chill out! My husband plays vidya all day, and idgaf. You need to relax.

My fucking job is run by imbeciles.
Every layer.
Idiots.

Like, I go this job and they were like "Only one month contract".
I feel like a fool accepting it, but there I am.

So I take and I see that every employee under permanent employment is a fucking waste of breath.
They are lazy and don't even do their job right.

I do my job right. I have fucking pride.
I work hard up until I punch out.

The department manager is pulling her hair out trying to reach just basic operating functionality.

Since I got there, production has fucking doubled.

And now I'm about to be terminated.
Jesus Christ.
What a disconnect between the upper levels and the lower levels.

The fucking hilarious bit?
I work for a cancer research center.
This ain't some factory floor shit.
I work with million dollar shit every day.
There's a part of my building called "Transgenic Core".
This is top level shit.

And yet run and staffed by fucking apes

i have a speech impediment, its hard to imagine that not being able to pronounce one letter correctly would have such a negative impact but its basically ruined my life. im not quiet because i dont wanna talk, im quiet because i dont wanna sound like a retard and have to repeat myself a hundred times

>>16913132
Dude, I'm like you.
I have a speech impediment.
Rs and Ss are hard.

When I was a kid, I didn't think I had any problem. I saw a speech therapist and they tried to fix me.
But being a dumb kid, I didn't give a shit.

But now 20 years later, it's too late.

I'm stuck sounding like a drunk.

I know exactly how you feel.
The good thing is that your friends will learn to understand you.
And you'll feel normal then.

I'd literally cut off an arm to be normal

>>16911800
Initials?

>>16910208
I think i just found the perfect girl. canadian, came here two months ago. know her for a couple of weeks now and we started dating.
after so many weeks of self-loathing, I'm happy again and i know for a fact that she "really wants to make him [me] happy" and vice versa.
but already there's this fear of losing her creeping up on me.

>>16913142
my roommate is cool about it, he talks for me alot and im forever thankful to him for that. i just fucking wish i could talk normally, so many times ive had alot to say but wont

i wonder if speech therapy is something adults can do, its probably hellishly expensive though

>>16913132
I know this feeling. No one points it out to me aside from saying that sometimes I mumble or saying "what?" until I heard myself say certain things in recordings when I was a late teen.

I can't say "girl", "early", or "world" or even names like "Carly" without sounding like my tongue is swollen or I have to clear my throat or something. I fucking hate it.

>>16913109
It's long distance and we agreed to call each other on Sundays (like I said in the post). I don't care what he does any other day.

what happened to the getting shit done sunday thread?

>>16913156
I think that we can sound normal if we speak slowly and enunciate properly.
But that's, for me, way too much effort to do it all the time.
Mostly, I just stay quiet.

I'm zoophilic and it's terrible when people give me shit for not being attracted to either gender and I have to pretend I'm asexuality
Kind of a pathetic thing to bitch about but having an entire angle of life permanently hidden for risk of massive legal consequences is pretty depressing

>>16913164
That was a good thread.

I remember when you used to smile more. you got so serious and resistant to everything. I'm sorry thats how things went for you. I hope you are actually happy. be careful that you don't make your world so small that you draw happiness from so few things that one thing going wrong ruins it all.

guess that's all I've got to say. I do honestly miss just sitting in the good weather sipping vodka. those were happier days.

ah well, I let the thought slip past. dwelling in the past is a fools errand.

I like this girl in my English class thats from Eastern Europe - she is pretty cute but inthink her personality and how reserved she is makes other guys not like her. I think its kind of cute.

>>16913218
Eastern Europeans have a thing where they don't express emotion to strangers.
Smiling in public is scene as a form of insanity.

If you're American, then you do that, but for them, you seem like crazies.

>>16913218
I have a similar girl in my literary studies and classical studies classes. She's not Eastern European, but I'm not American either. The year just started, but I already noticed that we'll be the ones sharing the desks at the very back of the classroom. I thought she would make me feel anxious as fuck, but it actually feels comfy to isolate myself from the rest of the class with her. So far the only interaction we had happened when passing the presence list or when we chatted a bit about how shit our classical studies professor was.

I wish I was more outspoken and loud, as well as I wish that I had actually done some "Teenage Rebellion" when I was younger instead of take it like some good little boy who's afraid of being punished for doing crap in school. I wish I would get angry and vent more often instead of holding it in and calming down a bit. I wish I knew how to be assertive, instead of some quiet little idiot who's content with watching the paint dry. I wish I was more selfish than I am now, instead of being a helpful guy who doesn't ask for a reward. I'm pissed and have been for a long time, but mostly at myself and my life choices.

This helped a little bit.

squarespace... I swear. why do you have to look so much better than wix but give exactly ZERO direction? why can't I edit this text? its right there but there isn't a text box.

wish me luck?
to better days tomorrow and after
i love you, /adv/

I almost feel justified in sleeping with other people, because they did too, albeit much, much worse. It's only fair, right?

>>16913552
or you could just break up.

fuck all that drama and debasing yourself. you're gonna lower your standards for yourself because someone else sucked at being a decent person?

sure that makes sense.

you're letting your anger and hurt get the better of you. it happens, I understand, but that's a pretty big one.

I wish these headaches would go away.
I think I might be infected and going a bit insane.
I can hardly focus studying for finals.
Also, these Antidepressants aren't helping me anymore.

It seems pretty likely that my girlfriend and I are breaking up, but I don't know hown to come to terms with it.

We met online almost 5 years ago, met in person a year and a half ago (and several times thereafter), then moved in together last September. After not being able to get a job in that city, we moved back to my hometown, where we now are. I have a job and we're both attending school.

She's unhappy and that makes me miserable. I want the best for her but I'm also thinking selfishly. On top of all the stresses I have, she won't talk with me about her emotions. Her upbringing kind of fucked her up, so now I get the brunt of that in the form of emotional desertion.

It's probably for the best, but how do I deal with my best friend leaving me? Every thought connects back to her. Every action with her in mind.

I hate the idea of not having her.

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dude I'm not going to do any work for you if you change how much you pay me after we agreed on a price.

fuck that dude. asshole. I'm going to straight up tell you, the second you say you're gonna have to pay me less for whatever reason, knowing that you were going to pay that price for anyone else, "that's not what we agreed on and I'm not doing it" and then I'm going home to plan how to break professional ties with you.

you can run your business in a shady, shitty way, but you can do it away from me.

fucking people man.

you know, another thing, I know you're making close on to 100k a year, so you're lying an awful lot about being broke all the time, or you're fucking awful with money.

I don't like being lied to asshole.

Oh god I did a fucking bad thing.

I blew up. Fuck.. I couldn't help myself. They were hurting me and it was making so much pain and anger flare up on me that I just let it all out.

I wanted to wait it out in the hope that I'd get over it but holy shit it hurt and I just needed to let it out FUCKING SHIT!!

and jesus fucking christ I know they're just going to play the victim and spin it by telling me I'm crazy or I need help when my feelings were legitimately justified. and they're such a fucking coward because this could have all been avoided if they actually listened to me the first million times I told them that the things that they do upset me. Instead of resolving things they just run away and not talk to me and make ME feel like shit like "oooh I'm running off because you're just too much"

god just... fuck you. fuck this...

>>16913624
its simple math man, you're at almost 300k a year yeah? and I know what you pay in over head and I know what you pay for payroll, so I know what you make. very conservatively, leaving a lot of money in the business, you're sitting around 100k a year.

I get that you don't want to parade that around, but your constant whining about not making any money is beginning to seriously piss me the fuck off. its insulting, and like I said I fucking hate being lied to about anything. if you're gonna lie, just shut the fuck up. and if you're gonna try screwing me out of my money, get the fuck away from me. you understand?

I'm getting tired of saying it now, but I am not fucking playing around. don't fuck with my money asshole, I'm running things right on the edge right now and I'm this close to popping you in the face because you're making things a pain on purpose.

I think I've fallen in love with an ex that I dated for a month, and started talking to again, that I might have a good chance getting back together with but I need help. I don't know what to do, we planned to go out for lunch this weekend and she ended up not being able to, and as of now, plans are up in the air for next weekend..

What do I do to help myself along?

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I thought she was a special one. Not in the true love, but definitely a special snowflake. We shares a tons of things and shit, I would've given days to see her smile again.

But then it hit me like a rock thrown with the force of a thousand suns straight into my heart, I became her safety net while chad was fucking her around. I feel like shit and I dont know how to take this.

I'm sure tomorrow she is going to text me again so shit...

No one has to read this I just need to say it. I m starting to fall for my best friends wife. To me she is perfect. I can't even picture myself e with someone else other than her. The only problem is that she is so in love with her husband, my best friend. Possibly the worst feeling in my life

>>16913720

Get that shit out of your mind. There is too much to lose for you to try doing something, let them be and go find your someone, you can do it!

I'm too afraid of him to leave. But I'm also too afraid of him to stay if he doesn't change, soon.

I'm stuck in purgatory and there's no way out. He'll continue abusing me forever and I'll continue wanting to die forever.

>>16913719
Thank goodness I learned my mistake the first time!

Just. Don't. Even. Just go about your day pretending she doesn't exist. Keep doing this and you won't look like a massive betacuck.

I assume you're in school, so focus on other people.

>>16910208
Everybody thinks I'm a ladies man. At work, when I go out with friends everybody thinks I'm some kind of winner. I'm cool with girls. I act like a gentlemen with them and you could tell I could hook really fast n' easy.
This is because I have some kind of good personality. But the fact is I've always have very low self-esteem....what I do...seems it's some kind of protection attitude towards my lack of confidence.
I'm 37yo and I've only slept with 2 girls in my life (one being my current wife). I suck with women. I always do.

I'm a failure. I will not cheat on my wife. I will live for the rest of my life with this depressing feeling for not taking the chance when I had.

Hey I really like you, I don't want to make this awkward so I am not going to try.

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I've never had mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard, or pickles before.

Pepperoni used to scare me as a kid.

I thought pretzels were tree branches.

I tried to do that baking soda and vinegar experiment when I was a kid. I just grabbed baking soda and whatever bottle looked like vinegar out of the pantry. I didn't read the label.

I spent 15 minutes trying to make a volcano with baking soda and vegetable oil.

Why do I feel so guilty for basically cutting someone that was important to me out of my life?

I'm so nervous I can't sleep. I don't have a job anymore, I have people I need to take care of, and no matter what I do I can't find another job. I don't want to ask for help because I feel like I'm being a burden to people, but it's so difficult that I hardly eat anymore, just so everyone else can. I'm also stuck in a depression and I end up going to bed wanting to stay asleep forever. I'm so pathetic.


...I kinda feel better. I guess.

>>16913868
That os just what I'll do, I guess

I could date you but you're underage. I don't wanna go to jail. I don't want my friends to see me as some pedophile. 3 years isn't so bad right? Don't know if I should wait until you're 17 this year.

>>16913719

Now she sent me a good morning text, as if I didn't see her photos on all social sites possible kissing her fresh bew boyfriend.

Fuck, I feel like a failure.

>>16914239
gross. and they're not even gonna be interesting cause of the maturity gap. nah bro, nah.

a part of me enjoyed hurting you...you fucked someone, said it wasn't your fault, and then had the audacity to jump down my throat when i decided to flirt with someone and called it "cheating" -- I'm not perfect, that much is true - but at least I can keep my pussy in my pants.

>>16914270

Leave that fuck alone. Leave him for good. If he cheated once, he will do it again

Good morning gorgeous. I came again thinking of you touching me and taking me hard, then releasing your sweet love all over my breasts and in my mouth, dirty thoughts of you cleansing my soul, lovely. Please have your way with me, let your liquid blue eyes run into mine, mesh your body with mine, rock my whole world, you've got me exactly where you wanted me

Im sorry about how unprofessional that was. You're just such a vague and elitist group of assholes I couldn't help but be blunt. I tried to be nice. I hope you don't hate me. Please don't tell the others. Please stop being such assholes.

>>16914220

Just did this few hours ago. It feels like shit and I want to talk to her, but I know it is for the best. You did a good thing.

I just... I just want to hear your voice. Or better yet, just see you face to face again. Even if words are never exchanged. Everyrime i close my eyea i can see your big brown eyes glisten as you smile ever ao perfectly at me. But its not real, its not the same..

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I applied to about a dozen places last week. If I don't hear back from at least one these next 3 days I'm going to lose it and drink myself to sleep. Then start the application storm all over again and rinse and repeat. Other then that things need to start to get a move on in my life especially since my transportation and living situation is becoming gone or uncomfortable.

>>16914220
Because why would you even do that?

>>16914141
Life's too short to worry about being awkward. Everyone is, a little.

>>16914284
Now ain't that the truth!

At work, I am surrounded by fucking morons!
Even my bosses are useless, blind, gullible imbeciles who couldn't manage there way out of a wet paper bag.

A text is all it takes to show someone you’re thinking about them, that you care about them. Maybe it’s me. Maybe I ask too much of the people around me. I try so hard to be so fucking nice and caring and actually give a shit but I get walked all over, the minute I have a back bone you become an asshole, “Don’t fight me because it’s only going to cause problems”- Don’t fucking threaten me with that shit. Am I not allowed to have an opinion? Am I honestly not allowed to disagree with you because it’s considered ‘fighting’ and hurts your precious fucking pride? Get over yourself. If you don’t want to be with me then fucking just say it. You don’t show that you love me. You haven’t proven that you love me. It’s the little things that count and you just seem constantly pissed off at me and I’m so fucking done with you making me feel like shit, guilt tripping me. Why am I always the one that’s wrong? Why are you so fucking offended when I have an opinion that disagrees with you? Why the fuck do you think you’re dumb in comparison. why the fuck are you fucking with me?!

You can't say I didn't try. Probably won't here from you now.

Weve been doing this dance for over a year. Can you stop being in denial so we can finally fuck?

I'll believe that you're trying to be different when your words, actions, and treatment of me become different (aka better and healthy).

Ah, fuck i'm slightly tearing up after watching that movie... all I could think about is you and now I cant get you out of my head again. the boats sailed yet I don't know, I still have strong feelings for you.. damn I wish I could hear your voice right now.

After a shitty two weeks and a mediocre weekend, I actually managed to have a pretty good day today! Monday and everything!

>>16914712
probably shouldnt have fucked things up to start with then eh

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I am sad.

Why do i forget things that have hurt me in the past and when people expect me to remember what has occurred to me and why I shouldn't be with specific people even though that's all I have for me in this life at the present time and it's all that I can cling to.

Why do I allow myself to be in this pit of loneliness and despair that i cannot reach out for someones help all because I don't know how to express what I feel because I have forgotten emotional suffering but it's not fully gone it lingers around me and it gets to a certain point where I don't want to be here anymore so I don't have to deal with what life is coming in my direction.

>>16914813
go fuck yourself

>>16914712
Define trying

I miss being around people. I miss my job. I don't miss my crush as much as I thought I would. I want some excitement in my life.

>>16914885
You're telling me you would have text me, had I not first?

There's someone out there who hates you even more than me. His words to me: "I hate that guy." He also said you were fat and ugly and I realize he's right. HE said you were a "fuckboy." I looked at you carefully last night and I saw you clearly. You couldn't even meet my gaze. You are a fat, ugly, pasty-faced bleary-eyed abusive cheating drug-dealing evil torrid whore.

I'd watch your back or change your ways if I were you.

I slept with other people after they betrayed me and now I'm scared they'll kill me if they ever find out. I can see then severely hurting me at the minimum.

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Im a guy virgin I'm surrounded by people who get to have sex constantly they are all in my age range I'm nearly 19 and I hate everything

My best friend is getting engaged.
I am terrified that everything will change.

I don't understand how and why people resign themselves to working in an office for 40 years, making someone else hundreds of thousands of dollars while barely being able to survive themselves. I don't want to spend 1/3 of my life doing something I hate, and there's no job on Earth that I'm capable of not hating.

anal

I wrote my feelings

They didn't change

I'm still me, and I don't regret it at all
Even if you don't feel the same

At least I'd know where we are

I'm 25 and in my first year of college... I wish I had just gone when I was 18. These kids are having the time of their life and I'm just out of sync with them.... I feel like I missed out on some great years, if not the best.

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>>16915693

Good afternoon anon. I am 25 and have been the same way but for 11 years. It doesn't get any better.

Desregarding women is the only option, but you must utterly disregard women entirely. Not sure how to explain it, but for me that was the only option.

>>16910208
I as a Muslim love America & its people. I stand against the evil ISIS but again when i see the hate people having against my faith it really makes me feel bad. If i was an America i would have died for that country. Please Islam is not ISIS

>>16915785
BUILD

>>16915795
What do you mean sir?

>>16915785
Be an athiest/deist/agnostic like a normal person then you mongoloid

>>16915821
Is it wrong to have faith in something? We do have fredom to choose what is right for us.

>>16915829
It's dumb as fuck and poisonous to your mind.

>>16915773
Why didn't you go at 18?

To the assholes who tried to get me evicted from my apartment:

Do you not have anything better to do than to try and ruin someone else's life? If you don't fucking like noise made by animals, maybe you shouldn't fucking live in a complex that allows them.

My dog doesn't even bark that much. Every time he plays with his toys, you submit a fucking noise complaint. He gets excited when I ask if he wants to go outside? Noise complaint.

It's just funny that my neighbor on the other side has no problem with me or my dog, in fact he vouched for me. You guys, however, nobody fucking likes you.

Keep your fucking hippie dog training pamphlets out of my fucking mailbox. Because he's trained. Him barking if he wants me to open the door is not him being untrained.

I feel sorry for that little rat ass, skittish Pomeranian of yours. That thing looks scared, I can only imagine what kind of mental abuse it's had to endure because I imagine you chastise it every time it tries to act like a fucking dog. Holy shit.

Fuck you both.

>>16915842

Got out of high school and started working in my family's business

I just hope you know how easy it would be for me to get you banned from every bar you aren't currently banned from.

You stomping off last night only made you look like a pussy.

You alienated the one person who could help you out. You think I can't find out shit? People are more than willing to talk shit about you to me. You are so fucking stupid. You're such a pussy you can't even meet my eyes. And it's obvious to everyone why. Acting like a bitch to me only made your "friends" hate you more.

You're fucked, man.

I can't stop thinking about them, even though I don't say or do anything to give that impression and I realise my love obsession, though never felt it so strongly before, and perhaps if they hadn't loved me in the first place, it may not have happened. There's no harm intended at all, although I've felt detrimental effects of vulnerability through not being able to express myself verbally and show my feelings. I know life begins at this point, and selfish as I feel about my emotional needs, I'm equally selfless in taking on the responsibility of my feelings and responses. as I feel it's for them, like I love them more than myself, and as I learned to respect myself and be true to myself, I could truly love another as they deserve to be loved, when before I felt numb and depressed, angry and afraid of love (none of which was their fault at all), with no channelling at all

>>16915915
Initials of you/them?

>>16915946
They know who they are. This is quite specific.

>>16915958
Why do you want to get some guy banned from bars and turn his friends against him?

Fuck titanic is the best fucking movie ever i cant take how fucking good it is

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Hope you're ready for April, bitch. Those threats weren't hot air. Your ass is going to the curb or back to prison. I've got enough evidence and I'm tired of you poisoning this home.

God damn I have such a huge crush on this girl but I am far too nervous to confess that to her. I love spending time with her, and we are going out together on Wednesday.

K, we should seriously think about an exit door between us. If we continue to have sex, it will end badly. And it would be a shame, because we really like each others, we enjoy to talk hours and hours, and I want you to stay in my life. We could be great friends. But you will never "love" me, and I need to build something with someone. I know you like her. So we should stop this shit, even if sex is amazing, and try something which doesn't include your dick in my pussy. Your brain and my brain is enough.
With all my love.
C

>>16916215
J?

>>16916231
Jeaaaaaaalous!
I ain't doing shit with my crush these days.
Boo.

22 and a kissless virgin. I'm finishing Uni this year, haven't got much time left. I think I should be more angry at myself for failing completely to find someone to even hold hands with over the last four years, but I'm kind of jst resigned to my fate now.

Just hoping I get that high paid job in London and can hopefully meet someone there and get away from the University drama bullshit.

>>16916003
I haven't turned his friends against him. I couldn't do that. You can't turn someone's real friends against them, it's only going to make you look bad if you try.

No, I had a bad experience with the guy and I didn't know him so I asked around just to see what I did wrong or whatever. And all these people, at least half a dozen people, told me all kinds of bad shit. Then I googled him and found out more bad shit. And I mean bad. And even after that, still I thought that if only I could speak with him I could… this sounds really stupid and arrogant but… I thought that maybe it was all just misunderstanding. Yeah, I was a sap. But then I found out that he's hurt others much worse than me and that lots of people hate this dude and that what he did to me he does all the time and worse.

Nice projection you worm. Yeah right lol you have ability to call me that when I know you have like 20-side bitches you frequent and coincidently ruin other people's lives because you use your sick to fall in love. Too bad you can't see this shit and realize that's why they all secretly don't like you, it's like the thing where everyone praises you but secretly stabs you in the back. Keep ruining others lives and claim your a man of God while you spew bullshit out your lips. And as for me? Keep feeding me the negativity, I feast off it. Ah! Your tears are my electrolytes.

so today wasn't the greatest, not a big deal. I made a new day starting somewhere in the middle. the raging sun of my frustration set and determination rose. and so my soul grows a day older. problems circumvented, thinking reinvented. I'm hearing that *clicks tongue* tick tock like I'm racing a clock. gonna catch up to father time while I'm writing this... rhyme?

it's all gonna come together. it's not by accident, I just won't choose to let it go.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeiRqvlg26U

>>16916520
This is incredible, a life's works almost. Interesting explanation too

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I work as a grader for the university I go to. I basically just go to a class that I'm not signed up for, take notes, get the essay prompts, and wait for papers to come my way.

A good 50% of the papers are just fine - their either decent for what's expected or better. What blows my fucking mind are the other 50%. I swear to fuck, some of these kids have to be fucking retarded.

The prompt lays out EXACTLY what to write, with points assigned for each subsection of the paper. The requirements are in bold, at the top of the prompt - 12 pt font, 6 pages double spaced minimum. Sounds like it can't be that bad, right? Well apparently it is for these fucks.

I'm getting papers not even on the prompt, papers that are 3 pages if you include figures, papers that aren't even written in full sentences, papers that aren't even in fucking English.

I'd be a little more lenient if this was some spur-of-the-moment paper assignment where they had a week to churn something out, but no. These fucks have been given 3 months to write this mass of shit and turn it in. Some of these are so bad, I don't even know how to grade them. They've somehow manage to put words on paper and have them be utterly meaningless.

I get paid decent money for this shit, but holy fucking shit this is the worst its ever been.

>pic fuckin related

Transparency is a turn off in a man. But maybe there are people that do like that in you. Not me, of course

Sometimes teachers don't give constructive feedback. Where's the diagram or demo to demonstrate requirements for specific visual or audio learning needs?

There's no way I'd fuck my teacher. Anyway, fuck that, I've assignments to write. And a letter to my lover

You have ugly pancake tits, a gut, a penchant for drugs, a look-at-me-please-daddy personality, a history as a preposterously massive slut, and 9/10 of the time you usually put forth little to no effort in your appearance.

Why do I like you at all?

Why did I have to lose that? Why did she have to come into my life at a inconvenient time? Why did I have to say that the last moment we saw each other? There are so many questions I could ask myself and so many ways I could look at this. I'm tired of it. I still just can't believe it.

Why is it so easy to seek you out in a crowd when I DON'T want to find you?

>>16916735
What does that mean? Are you seeking them out in spite of yourself or do you see them when you dont' want to?

>>16916750
The latter.

>>16916735
Initials?

>>16916759
Too bad. Deal with it.

Or maybe you should just move your business elsewhere.

Because this person might just be waiting to see you get your ass kicked.

>>16916781
Which initials are you hoping for?

>>16916804
Your ones

>>16916804
My guess is that it's an initial from a letter that is just previous to the one that it's for.

>>16916808
oooh! I'm scared!

>>16916825
Ok then, initials for?

Every time when I feel I've got something good going on creatively, or emotionally or spiritually or whatever, my parents come along and crush it somehow. Last week they had an argument that was so loud and so long, my sleep schedule got fucked up by 4 hours of lost sleep, and I can't recover it now. I tried to sleep once getting home today but was immediately woken up by the sound of shitty live concert footage, and when I went to turn it down my father yelled some shit about my mother stealing pills. Earlier he broke into tears for no reason.

Only a few more months before I'm away from there for good, but holy fuck is it awful living with people like this.

>>16916829
I'll repeat: it's an initial FROM a letter that is just previous the one it's TO.

>>16916840
An initial from the post prior to your one? What? I just asked what your or their initials were

>>16916863
One more time: Now this isn't a riddle here. So I'll make it as clear as I can.

My guess is that this letter is from an anon with an initial that precedes the initial of the anon it is to.

>>16916875
Like an S to a T

>>16916922
Like that, but not that.

Ive been promoted way, way past my level of competence. Everyone is happy for my promotion, but the truth is that I never asked for this and I really have no fucking clue how to manage an entire staff.

People keep asking me things I have no clue about and I have to give reports about things I dont understand to people who I dont know.

Help.

I'm an alcoholic and while I want to quit, the pleasure I get from being drunk exceeds my worries about dependency

>>16917007

Well, time to face it head on.

Take note of any question you can't answer, don't be afraid to say that you don't know and that you'll get back to them if it's not urgent. Find a policy book if your company has it and read it front to back. Figure out what those reports are talking about. It's doable.

>>16917007
Imposter Syndrome, nigga

>>16917007
>not realizing that is what it is to be a manager when you get promoted.

welcome to just... how things are.

and, congrats.

I just can't understand people, it's impossible.

you make this shit complicated just to create jobs and to keep your own job security right? thats nice. now lets cut the shit and get this done. I am fresh out of patience for jury rigged, asinine, unnecessary bullshit.

if I could but part the waters of bullshit.

why are you asking for documents that aren't even required by either the state or federal government? they don't exist, because I am not legally required to have said documents. you are forcing me to create legally binding documents regarding my business and how it operates that open me to lawsuit or government inquiry... go fuck yourself. I specifically started this so I could operate how I saw fit and you are not an operating member, or shareholder.

this is some bullshit.

meanwhile big corps do whatever they want. this country doesn't want small business and it doesn't want you to get ahead. I'm gonna do it just to spite the system at this point.

ridiculous.

Why does everyone want to stop people from killing themselves? I've wanted to commit suicide since I was 12 and I have made barely any progress in life. I have nothing to offer. My parents admitted they don't see a future for me. I am too pathetic. Is it really too much to ask for a gun? Everyone stopped caring about me. Even myself. I could tell everyone all of my problems, but with my age and history my life is over.

About two years ago I lost my mind, and thought I fell in love with a stranger on a 4chan board. I ended up in a mental hospital for 5 days but thanks to consistent care and medicine I'm in a stable frame of mind now. I still search the boards though to see if there are any traces of my imaginary love. I haven't found any yet.

>>16916215
I really hope this is written by the guy with the psycho ex con of a sister who doesn't know how to be a decent mother/daughter/sister and who is ruining lives kek.
If so, good luck anon. You're doing the right thing and your whole family deserve better in your lives.

If not, good luck anyway.

>>16917281
How old are you?

What makes your life any worse than anyone else's?

>>16917284
Initials?

She's just so busy

This is it, Braveheart. You want to prove that tat really means something or do you want to be a pussy?

Because last night it took a lot for me to come out there and sit and have you ignore me and not share your joint (btw two guys shared one with me after you went inside HA ha! ). And I'll be going out tonight too. I want you to look me in the goddamn eye tonight.

Merry Christmash!

>>16917336
>What makes your life any worse than anyone else's?
Where are you getting this from? Any person should have the right to kill themselves at ease if they really wanted to. Did you not understand the first line?

>>16917345
I'm a T, but just curious why it matters. Does this sound familiar?

I'm in a long term, stale relationship and am currently infatuated with a girl I barely know. This girl lacks social media presence so the only way to contact her and see if it goes anywhere is via phone number. But it would be too weird for me to ask for it based on the two points above.

>>16916629
this is debateable

>>16917417
Break up with your current piece first, then get the future pieces digits.

>>16917457
Easier said than done. When we have a lot in common, we barely talk when we see each other and I'm not sure she's interested.

You are one of the most beautiful people I have ever met, both inside and out. We connect on so many different levels and I completely enjoy being with you. Your smile brightens my day, you have the cutest laugh, and the most stunning eyes. You are such an intellegent person, and have an amazing heart. You always put others before yourself. I feel like we make great conversation, and I want to spend more my time with you. I know that we can not be together as often as I would like, but I hope you feel the same way about me as I do about you.

Im sorry for leading you and so many people on. Im in a place right now where my feelings are vulnerable and I can't be with anyone but I guess I can't just flirt with people without them becoming interested in me and thinking it will go somewhere when it wont. Although I actually did tell you this and you're still trying...the last thing I want to do is hurt people's feelings. And rejecting people after we've flirted a lot makes it feel like its my fault even though I never intended to do anything more. I feel like a bad person for this.

>>16916836
I feel you on this anon my parents were the same. I've been moved out for almost a year now and things really do get better

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I have had it with these feelings.
I want to call it quits but for whatever reason I can't.
Fuck you, you are the worst person I ever had the displeasure to deal with. i hope you get pregnant and the father leaves you, or he cheats on you. Both preferably.

>>16910208
The other day my ad and I were sitting in the living room talking about college. I've been telling him that I've been planning on taking a gap year because I'm getting burned out and I have no idea what to major in. He told me somewhere in that conversation that I'm too old to just be telling him what he wants to hear. The gap year idea is genuine, but there's a couple of other things I feel like I need to tell him. I really don't wanna go to where ever it is to see my step brother come home from the middle east. He's in the marines and been out there. That guy doesn't care any thing about me an I'm pretty much done trying with him. When he was in basic, we all wrote him letters and I was the only one he didn't reply to and when I showed up to see him at his graduation ceremony, he shook my hand. Gave everyone a big hug and acted genuinely happy to see everybody. And just gave me a fucking hand shake. Plus he's always treated me like I'm way beneath him. He's not even older than me, but you'd never know it the way he acts and everyone treats me around him. I also don't want to go on any kind of vacation with my step family. Unless they go somewhere for something very specific, it's unbearable. they just sit around, drink beer and talk shit a bout trashy people back home. I'm also sick of my step mom. The woman only talks to me when she's pissed at me, always comes through the house pissed about her job and takes it out on everyone else. Dad told her he was sick of her coming home and immediately coming unglued on someone who doesn't deserve it. She always gives me a look like she can't believe I'm still here. And dad tells me all the time he's happy to have me so long as I go to school, which I do. She's just upset that all of her kids have moved out. She's always posting how much she loves her grandson and her son in the marines. The former of which is so glued to his iPad that he's almost completely cut off from reality.

>>16917367
Oh, I understood, but most people need one or more reasons to justify killing themselves (mental or physical illness, interpersonal relationship issues, financial/employment hardship, etc). Very few people just wake up one day and say, 'yeah, my life has no apparent meaning, there's not really anything making me want to die, therefore I should end just kill myself!'
In fact, a lot of people actually need a kind of 'catalyst' that pushes them over the edge.

There's almost always at least one reason as to why someone believes the logical solution to their problems is killing themselves. Unless you have a natural chemical imbalance, believe you're a danger to others, are influenced by harmful/negative external issues, have any of the issues I stated above (and probably some I've most likely forgotten), then there's no real logical reason to kill yourself.

You even said yourself:
>since I was 12
>made barely any progress in life
>I have nothing to offer
> parents admitted they don't see a future for me
>I am too pathetic
>everyone stopped caring about me
>even myself
>all of my problems
>with my age
>and history
>my life is over

So, my question,
>what makes your life any worse than anyone else's?
Literally means exactly that. Why do you get to kill yourself? Why not the billions of other people? What makes your life so bad that you need to resort to ending it?
I'm not meaning to be inconsiderate or condescending, I'm genuinely interested.

If people just killed themselves for the sake of it, then the human race would have died out a long, long time ago.

I don't care anymore, nobody will ever love me. I am 23 alone in a new city and it seems like nobody cares about me. I try to hit on girls at my university and what happens failure. I hate being picked last, at least when I am alone and not trying I am happy. Nothing fucking happens no drama, no awkward texts, nobody to try and impress. I just think its for the best to make myself scarce. Nobody will ever want me, see me as a somebody they would be interested in. I am not homily I am just weak and meek. I don't say much to anyone at school & most of my days are spent studying. Fuck this i am walking to the grocery store for some vodka.

>>16917577
This is beautiful. I hope they feel the same about you, anon. Initials?

I resent everyone in my family for various reasons, including myself.

>>16914197
>I spent 15 minutes trying to make a volcano with baking soda and vegetable oil.
This cracked me the fuck up. Thank you, anon.

>>16917657
She gets along great with my sister. No idea why or how. Not that my sister is a bitch or anything. I just don't see why she can get along with her and I can't get so much as a hello form her. I just can't figure it out. And I know there's no easy way to say all this to my dad, but I need to tell him. I guess I could open it up recalling the previous talk about being honest and tell him so he really can't get on to me for it. Yeah, that's probably what I'll do. I'm just tired of always rolling my eyes and going with it. And I know it's not everyone but me. I know I have to have some role in all this. I've never melded well with the step family. I just don't think of them as my family for some reason. I guess it's hard to when they come in so late in your life. And it's not that I hate them, I just don't feel much of a connection with them. Those guys aren't my brothers, those two aren't my grand parents, That woman isn't my aunt. They act like they are, but I just can't reciprocate for some reason. I don't hate them, I just don't love them. And I feel like I've been expected to, and if I don't it's an issue to everyone.

A few things like hard to sleep n no GF
but mostly ED
In my 20s n my boy won't stay strong

>>16917664
I just got back from the store and guess who is drinking shitty grocery store brand vodka this fucker right here.

Even with my degree all I will have is money and a decent job which is fine but damn it this sounds selfish I want to fuck, feel, and live. I want to make a move have someone reciprocate some emotions. I am wasting what are the best years of my life on nothing. I just do my homework and sit in a chair by myself waiting for my class to start.

Seeing couples walk in the hall really hits home. There has to be something wrong with me. Why I am so off putting.

If nothing happens by next year I am going to get into a lonely man hobby like anime, model trains, or fuck it I'll just operate a Ham Radio or get into a hobby so dopey that they will have a justifiable reason to not like me. probably astronomy. I'll invest in a mother fucking telescope go to the desert and log stars while trying to get the perfect shot of some planet passing. If I am going to be off putting might as well get into a hobby that will ostracize me and it will be justified because now I am equivalent to a spinster.

Fuck this loneliness I try to do everything right. I don't act like a neckbeard confessing love to people I hardly know. I am not fat. I get asked why I don't have a girlfriend often by my friends girlfriends. I really try and it hurts. To put into perspective the last time I had anything close to companionship was some girl came over and fucked me for a couple months on the weekends I am not complaining I loved every minute of it. But that was 4 fucking years ago. I miss her but she has moved on and so have I. Now I am just a sad sack recanting on what is wrong with me. I need more vodka.

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>The Company shall conduct any and all lawful business deemed appropriate to execute the company’s objectives.

it is the description ron swanson would give his company and it is beautiful. there is so much in that small bit of text. that is the same opportunity and freedom felt when I'd open the door and go into the woods to play in the streams or when I was sailing, given physical form and legal validation in the adult world.

>>16917739
If nobody cares, I am going to keep on keeping to myself. Think about like this there has to be a justifiable reason I am alone. Why I used to be able to make friends easily but since I moved I haven't made a single one let alone get a date. I have to be homily, maybe I dress like shit, maybe sitting by myself since I transferred here is the issue but what am I supposed to do? If I join in a group and risk getting dirty looks like "why the fuck is this pig dog here" I'll make a fool out of myself. If I bud into a conversation I will also get shitty looks. This is the first time I talked about being alone since I moved. Usually I am not this whiny and all I do is focus on my grades. Now the vodka is hitting and the reality is slowly setting in that I am slowly evolving into a male spinster. I guess I'll get nothing and like it.

>>16917826
go do a thing that you like with neutral groups. problem solved.

>>16914239
I tried that. It didn't pan out, but I had a lot of fun sex and she did too. It's really not that big of a deal depending on where you, and biologically that's not really such a huge gap. Guys tend to date a few years down anyways. There was a graph somewhere, but basically girls tend to date upwards by an average of four years.

A,

It will never go beyond friendship. I know you have a huge crush on me but I am not attracted to you in any way. All the other guys you call "creeps" are actually nicer than I am. The only difference is that I am the most in shape one in the room. You push away every guy that is bigger. You are 350lbs+ and I am not attracted to you in the slightest. You smell like a fucking trash dump as well. You got a jacuzzi suite for our fun vacation together but I will not share a bed or that jacuzzi with you. You are nice but I find you physically repulsive. Again, it is not going beyond a friendship.

D,

I wish we could be friends again. You got drunk and told me of your childhood. I am sorry that happened. No one should ever have to endure that kind of abuse. I can see how it tears you up even now and I can see how it has lead to your current problems. You said you have a difficult time keeping people you care about in your life. You push them away when you feel yourself getting close to them. I can see how your past would cause this kind of a trust issue.

I miss the friendship we had and I do not want it to slip away. I want you to know that there are those of us that care for you. Please, if you ever need anything, you have my number. Don't hesitate to call. I hope some day we can be friends again. You once called me the one guiding light in your life. The one positive influence you looked up to. I hope some day you would trust me and yourself enough to talk again.

I miss you.

>>16915693
You can lose it in your early twenties. It won't really change you as a person. You'll find out that girls who are worthwhile like guys that can respect them as individuals, and that's something that is irrelevant to sexual experience. Depending on how you play it, some girls might think it's really hot to take your v-card. Focus on becoming a better person over sex, my friend.

>>16917837
What is a neutral group? I literally have nobody to talk to. I haven't made a single fucking friend so a group is out of the question. A party of 1 isn't a group.

Shit every activity I've done since September has been depressingly lonely. I go to the movies alone, I spend my weekends literally staring at my ceiling when my exam projects and homework are done. I go to the bars alone and meet nobody, or if I do they ask me to bum a smoke or ask for a light. The beer is expensive the girls are not interested in me I see no point in spending 2 extra dollars for a pint .

Shit I even saw a band I liked by myself and same exact thing happen nobody talked to me except to bum a smoke then they thanked me and walked away. If I am going to be lonely I need to accept my fate

To all my friends and family: FUCK YOU!

To her: I can't stop loving you, I tought I forgot you, but it's impossible, I was just taking a walk and the scent of your perfume got to me and all the memories came by. I have to know what you wanted to tell me a month ago

To Self: Dammit, I wish I know how to cry, I want to cry so badly, why I have to act like I'm a tough guy?

>>16917879
>What is a neutral group?
a group of people that are not necessarily a clique.

join a club, or find a group of people new to the city or someshit. Idk man, but you can't keep doing what you're doing.

all of the places you're talking about are places where people go to hang with their friends and despite being social places, people are typically completely closed to meeting new people in "social" places. they are there with people they know generally or are trying to pick up/get picked up. thats it unfortunately. so go to a place where people are specifically trying to meet new people. more specifically go to a place where people with possibly similar interests are trying to meet new people. ain't nobody got time to try to find the random people trying to meet new people in "social" places just to find you have nothing in common and hate each other.

I personally really don't need people getting all up in my shit right now, but you, you need to find some people.

>>16917671
Mine are BT

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>Move in with forty year old Brazilian
>Over-compensates for masculinity by driving a hummer and power-tripping
>Does fuck all for work, probably lives off allowance or income from property owned in Brazil
>Tells me he'll have my room painted and the carpet replaced before I move in
>Doesn't happen
>Tells me he's working on it
>Wait a month
>Wait two months
>Wait three months
>Finally has the room poorly painted
>Finally has the carpets replaced but with no notice; 12am Sunday night: "Hey anon, the carpet guys are coming in the morning, so you'll need to have all your stuff moved."
>Me: I have to leave in the morning for an appointment and I'm going to be gone all day, you didn't give me any notice.
>Him: Oh, no worries, I'll take care of it all.
>Leave in the morning
>Come home
>Place looks good, "Hey, sorry if I was a little frustrated last night it's just you didn't give me any noti-"
>"Yeah, you know you just give me a lot of attitude and like you don't clean anything and you didn't help this morning and you left the toilet paper off the roll and.."
>Look at his shit all over the kitchen
>Look at all the stains on the counter tops and floor, look at the ramen and popcorn kennels, look at the spices everywhere
>Tell him that's bullshit and ask him if he wants me to clean up after him after pointing the stuff out
>He says I never clean the bathroom (neither does he, but it's not even that dirty)
>Tell him I've done it as much as him
>He says "You've been here what five or six months!"
>Only moved in beginning of December
>He makes a huge deal out of small shit, always trying to provoke something; sits in the living room and calls his cellular provider to yell at them for addition $10 charges at 12am on weekdays.
>We went out to a club once, it was supposedly "his" club, the one he's always at and goes to and knows all the bouncers at. He gets thrown out after a couple hours for being too drunk. Talks about his cocaine problem, says how smart he is.
Awesome time

>tfw I'm so lonely I've started to use Craigslist and considered hiring a hooker
Life is almost always lonely, but damn if it does get pronounced after college and you find yourself in the thick of your adult years

am such a fucking loser i want to change but i can't get started i have become what i was afraid of becoming and i don't know how to get out of this endless cycle of poverty and loserdome .
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

>>16917932
I consider the same thing, but a good one will run like $300 and might not even put out, so I think you'd feel even worse after paying $350 for a handjob from someone who has zero affection for you. Or, if you're made of money, do it.

>>16917908
I been trying but I am sullied by my lack of hubris, the fact of the matter is I am boring. I lack self confidence, excluding my parents the last conversation I had was in January. Not sure how to meet people on campus most clubs are directed towards a field or are some SJW off shoot and I haven't seen a club at school based around Comp Sci.I am trying to meet people it's the fact that I am scared to say anything is whats holding me back

Man, it's crazy just how fragile my confidence is sometimes. One moment I can be king of the fucking world, like I'm 100% sure I have the biggest dick in the room. Then one false move, one misstep, one little incident of little to no significance, and I'm back to feeling shitty about myself. I go right back to over thinking everything and being afraid to talk to anyone. And it's always something weird. i stubbed my tow walking up some stairs in front of some people I knew. Hell, they even laughed at me. But I still felt great about myself. My music theory teacher gave me a hard time and I still felt pretty good about myself. I drew blank on a bunch of my lines during musical rehearsal and it didn't bother me any. Had a short conversation on Facebook with a girl and she ended up logging out before she could answer a question about a band and now I feel like shit. She could've just been busy, It doesn't say she saw it. Could have absolutely nothing to do with me but I still have this part of me that is sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt, it's because of me. I seriously need to work on my insecurity issues.

>>16918003
Agreed on all accounts. I will probably just wait in misery until someone comes along.

I can't stop thinking about her. I missed a chance with her once before and could not get over it for the longest time until a few months ago. And now that she's back in my life again, I can't stop thinking of having her in my life, and it's making me lose focus sometimes wondering if I still have a chance with her.

I need to calm down and get my priorities straight.

what is with all the S&M shit this week? there's been an explosion of threads in the last few days: people wanting to be sold into sexual slavery, a guy wanting a legally binding contract for his cock cage, people wanting to get the shit beat out of them...is it national BDSM week or are we being trolled?

>>16910208
You're a fool if you don't realize how your sibling is the one and only true bond you will ever have. Brother x brother is the purest there can be, and I wish I could have that. Sisters want to be there for each other, but nature gets in the way. Pride, confidence.... more pride....
Please talk to your siblings. They will love you and understand you more than anyone else ever will.

We've known each other for 14years and you still won't be straight with me, if you don't want to talk to me then just say so. It's ridiculous that it takes you over 3 weeks sometimes to reply back to my text or calls, and this time it's been almost two months, this is fucking ridiculous. Just come out and say what you feel already.

>>16917917
>Move in with Brazilian

This is where you fucked up.

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>>16918133
Dubs don't lie

I'm sorry we both had to find out I'm a manipulative, hypocritical asshole. I don't know how or why you stayed with me, or never called me out on my bullshit. I'm sorry I made you think you were the reason we split. I still think about you every day.

I like my steaks medium-rare

>>16918190
Initials?

Good morning sweetheart

Clearing the clouds away, I didn't forget you
You're eyes are like shining stars in mine

Can't wait to see you again

Me

Me

I'm slowly starting down a strange strange road.

My mind is going through a million possibilities, about everything, and I feel stick to my stomach. Anxiety is so fucking bad again.

I just want to disappear, I want to die.

I thought today would be good.. we're just drifting, and you let so many people say so many horrible things today.. I felt so uncomfortable, I wanted to punch all of them in their faces, but I didn't cause you were there. You make me feel so fucking worthless

Huge argument with family that turned into a positive thing. Unsaid words and insults, truth and venom turned into something healing.

Still, a certain person knows I dislike them but nothing is no longer bottled up. This is a fucking bizarre feeling.

I've no doubt just ruined whatever tiny remnant of whatever the fuck we have. Again. Just by saying how I felt and asking questions, about something that wasn't even my fault and that really fucking hurt me. Again.

I should be used to it. Everything is my fault, it always is. At least, that's what I've learned.
But I'm used to taking the blame and keeping my mouth shut and feeling guilty and apologising, because at least then he won't be angry and he might be happy instead.

That confusion and hurt and frustration and jealousy, all those negative feelings he had throughout the day when I wasn't talking to him (none of which was at all what I was expecting, I honestly thought he'd be glad to have me not bothering him, or at least not give a shit), that's like a fraction of how I felt for over a year. An entire year (plus a few months). An entire year of those awful and intense feelings, magnified every fucking day, for over a whole goddamn year.

As I'm sure he now knows, it is not a good feeling at all.
I'm sorry he ever had to feel that today. I really am, because I wouldn't want anyone to feel like that, ever. I honestly thought he'd be glad to be rid of me for any amount of time, I thought he wanted me to go.

Maybe now he'll get a glimpse of what it's been like and still is like for me. Maybe now he'll see the hell that I've been trying to live with and get through every fucking day.
Maybe now he'll start to ~finally~ understand

But he won't.

I'm not worth that.
I'm not worth anything.
I'm nothing.

>>16918537
i still love you a ridiculous amount.

>>16917624
It sounds amazing, hopefully I'll get things to work out then.

I saw what you did. I thought it was beautiful. I think this world needs more courageous acts of kindness.

The difference between this time and the last is that I understand the reality of this situation now.

Thank you though for your small gifts and treasures.

>>16918663
What'd they do anon?

Whenever someone shows romantic interest in me I cut them out my life. Why?
No fucking clue, you tell me.

Despite everything I have in my life,I can't stand 5 minutes of silence without doing something,looking at my phone,basically anything that shuts down my brain in order not yo think about how lonely I am

Rucjjehqvwd. Ebwbanqiej ebmr rbjqjw. Whrjjwnwjlw bejejwja

I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE AUWH!!!!

SAVE ME ME SOMEONE SAVE ME LLEASE

I WANT OUT OF THE FUCKING RIDE !!

PLEASR PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!

I can't go one fucking day without talking to you.
ONE.
FUCKING.
DAY.

>>16910657
yes
i do this way too often
i just try my best to not think about her
don't do anything stupid guys!!
DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE MESSAGE HER

Our friendship is so fake.

I have to sit there and vomit blog-tier garbage at you because you're too much of an awkward autist to get a word out or make any effort to be interesting. I know you want to get in my pants, god knows, you'd want to fuck the first and ONLY thing that gives you the time of day. Serves me right for being a charity worker.

But to be honest, I get really hot thinking about stepping on what I imagine to be your tiny little cock and balls. Just to watch you squirm and shriek while I tower over you while my foot grinds hard on your crotch. I want to watch that sweaty little pig face of yours contort every which way while I laugh and point. Maybe I'll get lucky and someone will pass by and join me in laughing at you. It would give me a never before felt magnitude of pleasure to bully such a weak, boring sack of shit like you.

Be a good little neckbeard and squeal for mama, then I might MIGHT let you ejaculate on my breasts. Provided you clean it up after you're done. Fucking beta loser.

>be me
>age 0 borne into drug smuggling familie
>be 14 mom gets arrested at the airport after "vacation" infront of my eyes
>i had to go to a foster familie
>hated there stupide people and stupide small village
>got a friend and told him my situation
>next day he told my story to othe people
>was the freak of the village
>ran away and lived on the street
>start taking and selling drugs bc it was all I knew
>at 18 i was so dipressed bc i have become what I hated most
>when i was 20 had m first real Job and got clean
>i lost all my friends
>so i started all that shit again
>my boss (prob the only person who have a shit about me) fierd me and told the police what I'm doing
>got trown in jail
Now I'm out and want to lead this part behind me but I just don't know anything about normal life

Also sorry for the bad english but writing this on my phone

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I fucked up everything.

The guy I like was mad I never told our mutual friends that we were talking/interested in each other. I thought it wouldn't be a big deal if they knew, and also I would have liked to keep it a secret from them because I wanted to wait awhile to see if I really liked him or not.
So yeah, he got mad I never told anyone about us. So last night, for him, I told everyone that I liked him. As much as that made me uncomfortable, I realized how much I really do like him and I'd do stupid shit that makes me uncomfortable for him.

And then for fucks sake, I don't even know how it got to it, but everything just spiraled down worse and worse and now he thinks I'm the type to hold secrets when I'm actually the oppositte. I've had relationships ended with me because im TOO honest. It was just one little thing I kept hidden, and I'm just feeling fucked now that he thinks I'm some pathological liar or something.

He said we were moving too fast. All this time I asked him if it was okay to say all these good things about him and how much I appreciate and like him, and he said it was fine to do. But last night he talked about how uncomfortable it is for him for me to be saying that. He doesn't believe anything I say now because it's only been such a short time we've known each other. I hate it. I really do mean the things I say. He's not like any other guy and he is absolutely perfect from what I can tell already. I love how emotional he is, but at the same time he is so non-chalant about it all.

But I fucked everything up now and for fucks sake I just need to respect him and give it a break and stop talking to him.

Why is this stupid board full of high-school-tier drama bullshit?

>>16918950
That's why I posted in this thread instead of making a whole entire new thread. I'm embarassed to put such stupid things more exposed on this board.

>>16918759
You got some issues m8.

Hey, boy, it looks like the one thing that'd keep us from crossing paths again in the future happened. Good thing you have your friends and two people who want so much to do with you, one who is incredibly open about what they want to do to you. I never go back on my word, so I'll wish you all the best with your love life as I said I would if there was someone better for you. There's your happy ending mixed with the guarantee we won't cross paths again thanks to something else entirely. Once they said what they said not too long ago, you jumped at the chance to re-establish contact and a friendship and now they are incredibly open about how they feel about you. Take care, I'm going to take my leave.

A,

Our friendship is like a rollercoaster. We fight all the fucking time and we've seen each other like 5 times in real life - twice of which lasted less than 30 minutes. We hurt each other way too much with our words. You live 4 hours away and neither of us know what the fuck to do with our lives next year, or where in the world we're going to be. So why the fuck can't I shake the feeling that there's something more between us. And what the fuck am I supposed to do about it? If I confess that I have these feelings, best case scenario nothing changes. Worst case scenario I lose you as a friend, and you're someone I value as a friend more than I value any kind of romantic relationship.

Fucking help me out here - do something.

G

>>16918708
Borderline?

>>16918759
This got me hard.

pls tell me more mama

My boyfriend isn't over his abusive ex with borderline personality disorder and its souring our otherwise perfect and healthy mature relationship.

His ex is impulsive, demanding and rude, and he won't leave her in the past. He wanted me to be friends with her so I obliged but all she's doing is trying to compete with me and be overly involved in our relationship. I can enjoy her company in small bits but I can tell that my boyfriend and I are being manipulated.

She's got a new boyfriend too so I've no idea why she's still after her ex.
They broke up in August and I've been with him since December, they were together off and on for five years.

My boyfriend talks about her at least once a day, her stuff is still all over his house (although yesterday I finally convinced him to throw out all the expired food of hers and packaging she hordered when she lived there). It hurts me the most when he blabbers on about how amazing traveling with her was.
I hate gap-yah white middle class euro kids going to Thailand to find their #innerpeace #spirituality package holidays.

I'm a really patient and understanding person, I explained very calmly how his ex gf being overly involved in our lives is unhealthy but he just reiterates that his past is part of him-I'm aware of this but I won't tolerate him making me compete with his ex girlfriend.

Last week he told me about how over last summer he broke it off with his ex to get with somebody else and subsiquently broke it off with her to get back with his ex. I was mortified.

My boyfriend is so sweet and kind and I intend to love him with all of my heart and treat him the way he deserves. I'll never put him down, I'll never play games, I'll never mess him around, I'll never hit him, I'll never threaten to kill myself or burden him with a plateau of self diagnosed mental disorders to further a deep seated victim complex.

So why do I feel like he's picked her over me, even though aside from his ex our relationship is marvellous

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I just visited a psychotherapist for the first time and she pretty much told me that my mental health problems are due to cannabis.
I told her I smoke on average 2 times a month, sometimes more sometimes less and that I have also done lsd, shrooms and speed (which I didn't really enjoy). I told her a whole bunch of stuff and the answer to everything was cannabis.

I'm really confused. Obviously I don't believe her but she does have experience. I don't deny that some of my issues might be related to weed, but I'm really not satisfied by explaining everything with "it was the cannabis".

I also found out i've had derealization/depersonalization experiences but this was only after I left when I did some research on google.

Not rly a question or anything just looking for opinions on this

I am a virgin at the age of 23.
I moved to a new city and I am pretty good socially and also quite handsome. I've met a girl and she is literally model-tier looking. She has no idea that I'm a virgin because I act like a chad all the time.
She's coming over tomorrow and I'm pretty fucking nervous about this lads. I just want to enjoy myself and make it enjoyable for her too without her noticing, but I'm afraid I'll do something weird that lets her know I've never done it before.

Probably gonna watch some amateur porn and have a beer beforehand.

I wish I had more confidence in myself. I'm completely fucking up my body.

The evil is inside of me. One of my ancestors was a rapist, murderous, thieving barbarian.

>>16919123
Jerk it before she comes over. That way if you bang you want come instantly.

For the moment, my feelings for you have abated. I'll use this time to do something for myself and decide how to move forward. I realize once I see you again, those feelings will come hurtling back and I won't be able to do anything about it.

I've thought long and hard about this, and I've realized I have never felt this way before about anyone, but here I feel I've found someone worth trusting fully. I've been raised to be suspicious of others and slow to trust, and it was in my personality anyway. And then, I was burned so many times it just made it worse.

But for you, I really believe I could put in the effort and overcome a lot of things to trust you completely. Maybe someday, we find a way to be together. Or maybe someday finds me sitting, watching the sunset, wishing I knew what your arms felt like.

>>16919108
Get a second opinion.

>>16919071
Duuuude. This is a glaring issue I would never be able to overlook, no matter how loving and wonderful he is, this would make me feel like he was a piece of shit.

He's not over her, and he has no business being in a relationship until he is. Seriously, what a piece of shit

>>16919071

Manipulation and getting manipulated is really fucked up experience. Thankfully I've never have been directly involved with someone with BPD but I've seen accounts of what they are capable to do and it's fucked up.

You have two options:

Let him be for a time being (don't mention her, just observe him).

Or, sit him the fuck down and tell him how you feel. No drama, no pettiness or bitterness, and no sugar coating. There's difference in being reminiscent of your past and comparing your past to your future. It can only end badly for both of you.

>>16919108
>I just visited a psychotherapist for the first time

This is why I hate psychology in general, I mean its good calling but you can't fucking rule out everything on one fucking substance, especially cannabis. Your psychological well being is affected by multiple factors and at worst you can say that, in your instance, cannabis maybe ''boosted'' that whatever you're going trough; its rarely sole cause. But this is just my opinion, I suggest you try visiting other psychotherapists, if you're already capable of getting counseling, it's good to get more opinions.

That said
>I also found out i've had derealization/depersonalization experiences but this was only after I left when I did some research on google.

Ok listen here, this is worst thing you can do to yourself. Not saying it's necessarily bad, but a lot of symptoms overlap so if I were to google some shit I'm guilty of doing, I could easily conclude that I'm autistic (minus me being on 4chan lel).

I believe depersonalization is something people either aren't aware/or won't admit that they go trough. For that, good exercise is to focus on something. Whatever is around you, table, mug, your hand etc. Just focus on it and observe it. It takes some time, but it helps.

That said, seriously try other psychotherapists. Only part of my advice that should be taken seriously.

>>16919206
The only reason I'm able to manage is because she lives far enough away that it's not too imposing.

My biological mother is locked up in an institution because of her mental health so I'm used to much worse. I hope the ex will just lose interest after a while as many people with BPD do. However I'm not sure to what extent his ex's problems are real vs victim complex fantasy.

I'm moving forward by slowly encouraging distance from his ex and we've also made plans to travel together over the summer.

I feel like it's going to be really hard work but it's worth it when I see his beautiful eyes light up when he's happy

>>16919221
I did tell him how I felt about it, since we're pretty open about everything. However I don't think he quite realises how bad the situation is. I feel like the best way to tackle it is just to go with the flow until he sees it for himself. So long as I don't sugar coat and make it clear that I'm not jealous-I'm legitimately concerned, I'm sure the penny will drop eventually.

I think I might show him this thread just to illustrate that it's the general consensus that having the overbearing presence of his ex in our relationship is not healthy or acceptable really.

>>16919159

JUST FUCKING DO IT! And not that Shia LeBeouf video shit.

Seriously. I've been there anon. I've had moments where I fucking hated to get up for fucking water. When I started working (office job) all I could think was me getting home and sitting back to my computer. It was horrible, I was anxious about fucking everything and it only confined me more to motionlessness. You could say I completely pussied out of the life and my confidence was at zero. And so was my body.

But month ago, I went to weight myself. And while I'm not overly fat (overweight for my height tho), I crossed the line. I broke down. That day made me rethink my thoughts and my choices.

I changed my diet and decided to be more psychical active. I started with just walking around my block since this wasnt about me just loosing weight, its about my fitness (ffs I had problems climbing regular pair of stairs) and my mental health. Then, 2 weeks ago I incorporated 30 challenge workout (one that lets you slowly come into it) and honestly, month later, I feel so much better. I'm more lighter when I walk, I don't feel tired even when I climb multiple stairs. My confidence went up alongside with it. I also started reading books about self confidence and that sort of stuff (if you think its stupid, don't! That's one of the first steps!)

In one of the books I've read a line that goes something like this:

Don't give up, because you're probably half way there already.

Surround yourself with pretty, motivational things. Listen to relaxing music. All of those bits helps.

You're master of your body. You can do it.

I don't want to kill it with my tl;dr (and I hope you can relate to it) but I wanted to tell my side. And that, in fact, it can get better.

>>16919240

I figured you told him, but sometimes you have to be bold with people, because like you said, they don't always realize gravity of the situation. ESPECIALLY if he or she is still observing it trough pink googles. Hell, you can suggest him counseling too (there's no shame in that).

Hope you two sort it out!

>>16919202
I will and she suggested someone who she thinks will "click" with me.
>>16919221
That's good advice and I agree for the most part. Google doctoring can be harmful I believe I'm very critical about everything I read, but I am only a human so there's that.
I just really related to a post, and I often do obviously but this one was pretty real to me
>I start to get tunnel vision. My ears start burning. My face gets hot. The world seems to drop away - I am solely in this situation. I lose track of what I'm saying. I am in complete "unreal" mode and don't know where I am.

Basically I sometimes feel like I'm shrinking in size or the opposite, I'm a massive being. I can't find the right words but I feel like my posture get's terrible, like it's not good normally but even worse and it's hard to expain.

>>16918226
E

>>16919258
Cheers.

It's not losing weight that's the issue, I'm actually considered underweight. I did it, I got to my dream size and I'm worse of than before. I want to stop what I'm doing because it's having a physical effect on my body. At the same time, I hate a lot about myself and I view it now as some kind of self harm/punishment.

I believe exercise will help my mental health.

I've been dying to watch my wife suck another guys dick can't get it out my head but I'm 2 chicken shit to tell her about it

No Need
it's "You're" not your.
thanks Bakersfield and I'm not Jewish

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I fucking hate you. You ruined my life . Don't talk to me ever again.

>>16919467
initials?

Just masturbated with my boyfriend in the same room

>>16919468
It doesn't matter. If the shoe fits, wear it.

Hello Cornelia

To understand emotions is to understand failure.

>>16919565
You ruined my life, too.

But I actually think if we talk we can both survive each other.

>>16919592
Who are you?

It sucks when you get insulted by a stranger.

The knowledge that someone out there hates you is an awful burden to bear.

And even if it's your fault, goddamn does it hurt.

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How do you accept the fact that you are a loser who is single and will complete his Masters degree when he's already 32.

Am I fucked? Nobody's going to even want to hire an old man.

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Well, I definitely fucked up yesterday.
This evening, the girl I got a crush on wouldn't even come near me when we were watching tv at the evening, and when I asked about the whole going out on Wednesday thing she was really ambivalent and dismissive about it. I dunno if I she will even show up.

I guess it's all ogre now. Serves me right for being such an awkward creep I guess. I should have known that she didn't actually like me that way.
Now I'll just try not to cry myself to sleep and try to just bury away all the emotions I had for her. I wish I had never developed these feelings in the first place, because they hurt like hell now.

She played with me and my feelings plain and simple, and I don't think she even realized. She knew about my background, an unloved, low self esteem guy and I guess she just tried cheering me up ever time she told me I was the most beautiful person she's ever met. I guess she was just playing a game when she talked about the future of us, a very realistic one, she thought I was in on it. In the end she crushed me and humiliating me in front of my friends without ever before telling me that she had no interest in me whatsoever. I have been led on, anyone who knows the details would probably laugh at how far she managed to take it.

It's been quite some time now and she still hasn't realized what she has done, and I am to beta to tell her. I am afraid of hurting her, or of her getting defensive and hurting me.

I know this is going to sound retarded, but I didn't believe in love at first sight until recently. It wasn't even really at first sight, but it was within a day and that's basically the same thing. I've never met anyone like that before. I never even imagined someone like that existed. It's like if someone asked my parents, friends, all the people who know me better than anyone else, it's like if they all got together and collaborated to make the perfect person for me, this is who it would be. It's bizarre and actually kind of creepy. It's someone who matches with me so well in person but also on paper. Everything from their sense of humor to their personality traits. This isn't normal, right? That's why I feel this way? It's not normal to find someone who you could see being your "soulmate" or whatever bullshit term people tell you about as a kid. I wish I could blame it on physical attraction, but to be honest, I've seen many more attractive people, and this one is a bit below average. But I don't even care. Being around them makes me feel amazing. It's such a strange feeling.

I don't know what to do. Part of me feels like I must be going crazy to be even considering this. I've never actively looked for someone who fits my criteria to date. I just float along meeting new people as I live my life. But all of a sudden this person is here, and ... weirdly fits me perfectly. As close to perfect as it gets, it seems. But that's impossible, right? This must be a reaction from being single for too long? I don't know what to think. I can't believe this is happening. I must be delusional.

Do any of you think that what I'm seeing is real? Or am I making it up my head? I've known this person for about 8 months and the feelings have stayed the same this whole time.

Fear mongering is what the Nazis and the Soviet Union did to get to power. Do not worry so very much about every small minor detail there is. Everyone falls short and in many ways many of you here need to outgrow the mccarthy fear of individuals and social groups. Treat things the way they should be treated.

you fucking cunt, despite all the favors I have done for you, you don't even spare a few words with me when I need it. From now I will do everything to fuck your life, slut.

>>16920038
In some ways many of these fears make about as much sense as saying if your hand is bigger than your face you have AIDS.

>>16920041
Thiz guy right here. I bet is not gonna do anything and will pussy out. However do not talk like thst you are sounding threatening

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I can't tell if I'm freaking out because I'm genuinely anxious about this fling I'm having or if it's the lack of sleeping eating at my mind

Why do I feel so strongly about any guy that gives me minimal affection?
We only have a few things in common but it feels like we are soulmates. Why? I know its not true.
There's no reason for me to believe that he likes me as more than a friend, but there's no reason for me to think otherwise. I guess that's enough for my brain.

>>16920090
It's low self esteem

I'm a bad person.
I spend hours each day dreaming about ditching my wife to make a new life with The Other Woman. Despite the fact that she's not even interested in me.
This is so stupid. I mean, really, this is beyond stupid. And incredibly disrespectful to everyone involved.
Stupid!

>>16920149
Initials?

>>16920389
Oh, sure. Or why don't I give you my wife's phone number as well?
Fuck.

>>16920441
Can I have it pls

The only thing I can think about is killing myself in the last weeks. I suffer from depression but it never went this way until the last month's. My gf will leave me tomorrow, she said something like that and I lost my social life almost completely.

I hope I didn't fuck up.

>>16920441
Wife's initials?

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God this has bothered me for a week. I want to know a way to hack into someones facebook messenger with out them knowing. Is there a way?

>>16920597
WHY?
Why dont' you just talk to them?

>>16920606
Its the ex.......

>>16920003
Initials?

>>16920003
I met mine but we can't be together because of life. Too many things won't let US happen.

>>16920003
The only way to tell for certain is to go for it and see what happens

I feel like there is some expectation for me to say something, but I don't know what to say. Perhaps I was wrong to think I understand. The mysteries of you are beyond me. I have no right to this mystery. I am not deserving, and my loyalties lie elsewhere. I am selfish though, and I don't want this to stop. I justify my feelings by thinking of alternate realities, where some how I could make sense of this all.

>>16920939
Are you seeing more than one person at a time?

>>16920622
Make fucking time for each other

What else is there?
I know

>>16919231
I guess different people put up with different things, but to me it sounds like the stuff of nightmares. Good luck.

>>16920948
No, I wouldn't say that.