Is something wrong with me?
I know none of you here are doctors but that's not what I'm really for here anyways. All my life I've had memory problems and headaches, the headaches have recently gone away though. However, the memory is still getting worse, the long term memory to be exact. Mostly everything before the 9th grade (5 years ago) is muddled but can be partially remembered either by pictures or by deja-vu in a conversation, but everything past middle school and before is long gone. Step parents, things such as last and middle names and birthdays of the people I live in the same house with and have lived with for many years disappear as well, went to a doctor and he said it was "normal"
But, the real reason I'm here is because of how I feel now. Recently I've just felt, empty, I guess you could say. I can go to work and things just seem hazy, and I return home and go on my computer and everything is forgotten. I have even "woken up" randomly as if I wasn't lucid for a period of time. I don't find joy in anything and nothing seems to entertain me anymore. I used to be a pretty avid gamer but I don't even find video games interesting anymore. I've had a girlfriend and a boyfriend but now I don't even pursue relationships nor want one simply because it seems boring.
Everything just seems blank and empty, is this really normal or is my doctor a retard? Either way, I don't have the money to move out of where I live and find a good doctor nor get medication for whatever I may have so I'm screwed in that sense
I don't think it's depression, because I have no suicidal tendencies and think it's retarded, and I don't self harm either or am into that whole goth thing, so it makes no sense to me.
Yeah, I've felt the same way for a long time. Long enough to realize I am depressed. I'm not saying you are but the similarities seem prevalent. You could just simply be bored with life. And yeah, thats normal. Try and seek out things that are new to you. They will be interesting at first but that will die soon. You are the one who has to keep interested and invested in it for it to give something back. I'm not quite there yet either, but this is my motto for now
To find, you must seek.
Forgetting shit like that is normal for some of us. I'm like that.
It might be depression. Not enjoying thing as you used to, feeling empty, is indicative. Other stuff you mentioned may play into it. As far as I know, inclination towards suicide begins later in the stages, if at all. You might wanna check out with a mental health professional.
Also make sure you're getting adequate sleep, taking care of yourself, etc.
It's also important how long this has been going on.