Difficult to bond with GF

>>16902518
Jesus. She's not competitive, she's a sore loser.

You need to sit down and have a discussion about these issues, try to find a compromise that satisfies you both, and work at it.

>>16902583
I have tried to speak to her, she gives herself up as a lost cause almost immediately and nosedives into self pity.

>>16902595
Then I don't see what else there is to be done. I'm sorry, anon. If she's not willing to work on herself and the relationship, the relationship won't work.

You GF and I are half twinsiee.

The competitive issue: Her issue is that she sees self worth in how well she does in a video game. That is her problem and if you bring this up to her, she will likely deny until the cows come home. She's not really competitive - it's not that she likes to win, it's that she needs something to feel good about herself. She won't keep playing things she isn't good at so that's a major clue to that one.

What to do? Not much for you TO do, since she makes everything into a self esteem boost/drop. it's how she sees things. You could try talking to her about it - "Hey, I really liked playing this game with you, you know? Why don't we anymore?" And go from there. Be delicate since she sounds sensitive. Just try to coax her into trying things AGAIN. But this does entail you biting the bullet and playing a game you guys have played before but not for the reasons of her ~increasing her skill but so she can try to understand it's supposed to actually be fun.

As for the first part, maybe go half n half? My boyfriend is has no need for me time, whereas I do, so what we compromised on is just I do my own shit but I don't do it completely alone. We have vague conversations but I get to be as quiet as I want and he can get the togetherness aspect.

However, if she NEEDS 100% your attention, then you guys just need to have a legit talk. Not "please let me have my alone time," but "hey, i'm going to have my alone time now. i love you a lot, just as much, i just need some time to myself." just do it, imo. She's not going to find anyone who can dedicate 100% of their time to her and she needs to stop being immature about that. Sure, she has needs, but so do you. There has to be some balance.

>>16902631
oh, side note to my entire post:

like me, your girlfriend has some issues and she needs to open her eyes and fix them and stop crying about them. i still do it, no lie, but i do know, overall, i have to get over myself.

she either needs a therapist or perhaps you can talk to her about her overall issues. glhf w/e

>>16902631
>just say youre going to have your alone time
that would not go over well.

In my girlfriends world everything is either black or white. Either its 100% 24/7 or 0 percent go away forever.

And I think I see that she needs to win to feel good about herself, because typically she is just full of self hatred.

>>16902669
She needs to get over that. If she thinks "He must hate me because he wants to be alone," it's because she's letting her self loathing override what she knows of your personality ("he just needs that kind of thing.")

Really, your GF is the one who should have been posting here. You can't DO anything except talk to her. Talk to her about how she needs to separate who you are as a human being and her self loathing, as hard as that may be.

Nothing you can do but talk to her. It may not go well, but you have to or you'll just end up getting burned out.

>>16902518
OP, I don't know how you manage to deal with all this bullshit. She seems incredibly childish and immature, and she needs to work on herself and grow up.
You don't have to do anything, just tell her to see a therapist and work on her issues.

>>16902678
>burned out
its been nearly 3 years, it wasnt like this at first. She says its because back then I didnt matter as much as I do now, she was too afraid to be attached. Now she's attached she's too afraid to loosen up

>>16902518

Gotta leave her. Sounds like a classic narcissist. It can only get worse.

>>16902518
If you write three paragraphs explaining how your relationship isn't working out, why do you need our advice? What you should do it obvious, and you know it: dump her.