Is there a resource out there to self-check my communication

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Is there a resource out there to self-check my communication style and compare it to other people in relationships?

My current girlfriend and I do not communicate well, and I want to make sure I'm doing everything I can to communicate effectively. The complaint I have is that she tells me she's going to do X.. and then does Y in the moment. When I try to discuss it with her, she always apologizes, but repeats the behavior. I understandably have a problem with getting "sorrys" instead of results, so I explain that her behavior is bringing me down and I need her to stop.

it's like talking to a wall because then the "you're so mean" and "you talk down to me" and "I don't want to talk about us" start coming out. To me... it's not "mean" to hold people accountable, especially when it affects my emotional and mental health. But this is apparently demeaning?

Is there anywhere I can find examples of successful couples just talking? Or transcripts or something? I want to communicate like a successful couple and if I need to improve my communication, I want to do that.