Hi. I should be getting ready for college but I can't get past highschool because I'm failing really hard and I can't study anymore.
Things keep getting worse and worse. I'm a third-worlder, ex-muslim and an autistic(great combo right?).
Year by year it only gets worse, I was turned to homeschooling because of mental health issues that affected learning capabilities, I have no friends, and I'm now extremely introverted, so deeply introverted that I have dangerously low levels of Vitamin D because of it and I can't walk properly. I'm a sociopath that can't get along with literally anyone. On the internet which is my only gateway to the world, I'm a social reject, a failure, i just can't .. people right.
Looking forward the situation isn't that nice because right now I should "hurry up and find a job" because I'm studying abroad in the gulf anyways. My country is so unbelievably shit, I would rather die than be forced to get back to it where I would just dream about what I could've been while probably dying of poverty.
I'm so depressed I can't do basic chores anymore, nothing is fun. The sexual frustration is incredible. There's nothing to do, no where to go, and I can't drink my sorrow away. I already tried killing myself 5 times, and failed every single one, my parents got deportation warnings twice because of the last two attempts and the third would get us booted.
.. What do I do? (not in crisis at the moment.)