other one is dead. you know the drill.

I hate you all

My adult life is failing and I don't really care

I've been feeling better lately, which is really nice.

I'll bake pizza for my family today, to celebrate. And also because pizza tastes good.

You know that feeling when you feel kind of fluttery inside, sort of like when you're about to meet up with someone you like, but this time you're getting that same feeling because you know everything is about to go to absolute fucking shit?

That's how I feel right now. My chest feels weird because I'm stressed about what's about to happen. I see so many cracks in the wall, in many different aspects of my life, and I think everything is about to start crumbling and get really fucked up for good. I don't know what to do. I think I need some sleep and a haircut.

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Today was the first time in my life I was invited by a girl to her room. We played tabletop games (on the floor).
Earlier today we went to see Zootopia together.
I have such a crush on her, but this is all so new to me, so I dunno what to do. I just wanted to kiss her, but I lacked the courage.

I will never be able to have a smooth life with my wife.

I left the perfect life just to give things a shot with someone and I'm desperate for them to prove to me that I made the right decision by giving them a chance. I'm already falling for them and I don't want to regret this but the cynic in me already knows it's going to go wrong and I'm going to feel very foolish.

Four days in a row now I haven't masturbated thinking about my crush.
Pretty good going.
I really, really want to though.
I am an urge machine.

I can't tell if I'm a misogynist now or if I just hate every girl who's made me feel like I'm not good enough. There's just so many of them.

all I want is to make others feel good, make them have hope when they are down. This is my vow, my mission. I can never attain much, but if I can make other feel good and nurture hope, I will offer them kind word.
For this I am called false, liar, look down on. No one want me, and Iam too afraid to enter church.

ambition matched with deadlines on goals and the skills/knowledge/ability to make them happen or at least side skirt possible setbacks is not impatience. I simply cannot abide those setbacks. I don't know what to tell you and I don't understand your offense towards getting shit done and not readily accepting something that is vastly different from what I'm aiming at.

don't get it man.

also stop telling me how to run my business. where you are is not where I want to be, so why would I take your advice except in limited dose?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSfpSOBD30U

I told my girl best friend I can't hang around her as much anymore because it's toxic to me finding a gf. Hurting pretty bad not hearing from her.

>>16896461
Do you like her? Ask her out

I see everything, but I can't fucking speak correctly.

I can't explain my self properly, I can't explain my ideas, my dreams, my reasonning because of this.

I am mad. But I must stay cool. No one's listenning when someone is mad.
No one.

>>16896509
looks like you're speaking correctly right here.

>>16896516
Only by writing, it's easier.
When I need to express my self orally, it all goes south : sweating, can't find the word I had, and use more sounds than word to complete my sentence.

It is not helped by the fact that some people still make fun of it, and that I blame myself for speaking like this : endless loop, that is not helping.

>>16896509
>I can't explain my self properly, I can't explain my ideas, my dreams, my reasonning because of this.
why do you need to explain your reasoning to anyone? why do you need to explain your dreams except in simplest terms? why do you feel you need to explain yourself?

I find that attempting any of these things is problematic and honestly, nothing good has ever come to me from explaining shit to people.

if they dont understand the basics the aren't likely to understand when you get in depth. if they don't care, they certainly won't listen. and the biggest point, and something that I'm increasingly finding, if people are going to be good influences on your life you shouldn't find yourself needing to explain yourself constantly unless you are seriously fucking up... but you should be self aware and self assured enough to not be seriously fucking up if you're listening to me and understanding. if people in your life don't understand where you're trying to go, and don't understand what you're doing, and certainly if they keep arguing everything with you or pulling you away from your goals... maybe they don't need to be around so much. hence not needing to explain yourself.

I'm done explaining myself. everyone gets it eventually. everyone either steps in or steps out eventually. you should be done explaining too, do you.

Am I really doing the right thing? Should I just find someone else?

>>16896537
I see that I should've use another word instead of "explaining", more of the like to expose and discuss of them, because it's how I found someone, but I understand what you mean, Thanks Anon, for taking time.

>>16896537
I am also >>16896516

>>16896531
has it ever occurred to you that perhaps the reason you get so flustered is because you're speaking to people that are making fun of you as you said? i have problems talking to people like that too. because its unnatural and there's no reason to.

I don't know what you're like or what your dreams are. if you're like, idk, some sort of extremist and your dreams are to kill people then maybe you should be listening to other people. but if you're a decent person, and your dreams are good, why bother explaining them to people unless they're gonna help with them?

anyone laughing isn't worth the air used to talk to them.

>>16896560
No extremist dreams, or other things like that, and discussing about what you want, what your dreams are, and how you can see the world with someone is how I've found someone which changed my life, and how I saw it.

Now, it's harder, since I'm in college, and when it occurs, it's in class, when I want to answer a question, and when I need to give arguments when there is a debate.

But I see that may be the reason : I must stop talking to people who laugh about me...

Someone definitely smarter and debatably prettier than me is flirting with my crush. I know she's only doing it to get study help from him so it's not serious, but it still pisses me off. I hate how jealous I get. I need to work on it but on my bad days it's just overwhelming how worthless I feel because I'm constantly comparing myself to others . And it shouldn't even matter because I know he likes me back. We're just both too chickenshit to do anything about it right now because we're so busy. Tomorrow I'm going to spend time with him and maybe I'll bring him his favorite candy. He and N are the only people getting me through this week.

I'm crushing on someone for the first time after a breakup from a long term relationship and it feels so weird. I've been hurt bad and so I'm very cautious about the whole thing.
I have very mixed feelings about this situation and I'm not sure what to do.

Even though I want to become a counsellor or a therapist it annoys me to no end when people talk about their "mental health" when they're just being a whiny little bitch.

It's one of those things that you can't question without looking like a cunt too.

You haven't got insomnia, you have a shitty sleep schedule because you watch Netflix until 2am because "waah I can't sleep". No you're keeping yourself awake.

You haven't got depression, you're being a little bitch about being kicked out of a club/being dumped/whatever.


Not aimed at anyone in this thread but I'm seeing so many articles about "mental health" and it's literally Tumblr-filth using it as a scapegoat for their shitty behaviour.

>>16896812
You sound like a terrible fucking person.

I have severe, treatment-resistant depression, and I still wouldn't tell anyone else whose depression was more mild that they were a whiny little bitch.

I just orgasmed fantasizing about having romantic loving sex with my boyfriend's brother. That is all.

>>16896824
I write erotica for cash, and trust me, that isn't even remotely close to the weirdest thing I've seen or heard of.

That honor belongs to a picture I saw of a NASA-style spaceship having sex with an airplane, and another airplane watching and talking about how disgusting and unnatural it was.

>>16896821
Maybe your depression was treatment-resistant because the only working treatment would be for you to stop being a little bitch. Some people have actual chemical imbalances and outside forces acting upon them that they cannot prevent, but most people who complain about the sorry state of their lives simply lack the willpower to regain control of their senses and fix their own shit.

>>16896844
>I write erotica for cash
>hurrrr need to one up someone's personal experience with my own imaginary shit
No wonder Pegasus seems to have such a hateboner for you. You're insufferable.

>>16896847
No, I'm getting ECT, so I'm pretty sure the solution wasn't to stop being a little bitch and was in fact an electric shock to my brain.

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>puberty fucked up my mind beyond redemption, now i mostly see the sexual side of everything, sometimes inconsciously
>developed a mild narcicism as a i grew up
>think that i should be superior to mostly every other male out there that puts sex on a pedestal, hence why i'm still a virgin at 21, because i want to lose it with someone i actually like
>chances for losing it with other girls out there actually presented, but i decline all of them because i know i'll regret it if i just think with my dick
>4 years in college surrounded me with people who talk a shitload about sex, but it's not like i avoid them either

>mfw my dick is constantly trying to take control of my actions, but i'm still restraining myself by being a prude, because i feel that, otherwise, i'll heavily regret it

This is killing me inside.

>>16896812
Try Gestaltic therapy, sounds like something right on your alley.

>>16896844
I'm not saying I'm fapping to weird shit or anything. It's more the fact I actually want this to happen desperately and have fapped to the same thing every night for over 2 years. Feels bad.

But that sounds like an interesting picture.

>>16896847
What the fuck do you know about a total stranger's mental state? Idiot

>>16896821

>That feel when my entire post was aimed at people who pretend to have these issues for attention and an excuse for their shit behaviour.

I thought it was fairly obvious, to be honest. The word "Tumblr" should have been the signpost to say that I wasn't directing that at people with actual issues.

>>16896216

I've been in the same situation a couple times recently.I've been seeing this girl I've been talking to and getting really close with a lot lately. We hangout at my house and in her house just us two alone watching movies, laughing and carrying on. & I'm pretty sure she has feelings for me and she knows I have feelings for her, but idk, I just get too nervous to pull the trigger and kiss her, or make a move, even though we've hooked up in the past.

I guess it's just that, for the first time in my life I've found someone that genuinely makes me happy every second I'm with them, and every time I look at her I cant help but smile because of the simple fact of how happy she makes me when I see her. Idk why I lack the courage to make a move, or what it is that holds me back, but I hope I conquer this fear soon, before its too late. :/

>>16896857
What country do you live in where a doctor actually prescribed ECT in this day and age, and why that treatment instead if something less intensive? How does it feel? I've always wondered what that was like for patients afterwards. Sorry if these questions are too personal. I've just never met someone who experienced it, and it sounds kind of scary.

>>16896255
Initials?

>>16896936
I tried 14 drugs before ECT, and it's a modern medical treatment. It's not a first-line medical treatment, though -- you have to have tried a lot of other ones first, usually several drugs.

I was considered "an excellent candidate for ECT" due to the large number of drugs I've been on.

It's a relatively low-risk procedure with the rate of death ranging between 4 in 100,000 and 1 in 10,000. Besides death, the greatest risk is losing teeth, but my teeth are already terrible so I don't really care about that.

>>16896936
ETC is still largely being used in America for depression treatment among other things, anon. Actually, I think America is one of the few countries where it's still legal.

>>16896936
Oh, sorry that I didn't get to answering how it feels; you're not awake for the procedure, you're under anesthesia. It does feel like crap once you wake up, but all surgery does.

It's the easiest a medical procedure has ever been on my body, and I've had several surgeries. I've take ECT over any of the surgeries I've had any day of the week.

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>>16896539
Oh look, could it be? Someone who is basing their decision on the importance of winning. So you see, there is some harm that the ego can bring in such a thing as this. It would be better to distinguish if the origin of the decision in the mind matches the one that seems apparent at the time.

You're probably making the wrong decision, though. Sooner or later, you'll likely pull away close to middle line dividing the way. Make no mistake, there will be some pain moving on initially, but that might actually essential be. We learn through blows, after all, don't we?

Well, this was just me bored, but the thing I wanted to say was that the best decision to make is the one you're least likely to regret. That might require some thought, but...

Please help

I can't do it alone. Why do all of you reject and push me away when I ask for help? Please I'm tired and I always feel cold.

I just want the pain to stop. I want to die

>>16896993
Was it to treat depression only, or additional medical issues? The thing about teeth sounds frightening to me personally.
>>16896997
I'm glad it was one of your easier surgeries, but still, damn. That's really something. Thanks for sharing.

I can't fall in love anymore because I realised all grills nowadays are shit

>>16897042
Just to treat depression. No loose teeth or anything so far, so, so far so good.

I would totally recommend it to anyone for whom drugs haven't worked.

>>16896812
>>16896821
>>16896847
>>16896882
>>16896883
>>16896857
>>16896936

I just came here to say that I was suicidal for like 15 years starting at a young age and the only thing that helped was when I started taking notabitchanymoreitol in increasingly higher doses. I'm not saying it works for everyone, but I am saying that for people with legit depression (yes some people fake that shit, and they should be kicked squarely in the jaw) there are solutions other than pills or some crazy treatment... and that solution is agency. stop being a bitch and change the things you don't like. it works pretty well. also exercise.

that said, doesn't work for everyone. some people have physical problems in their brain that lead to chemical imbalances, THOUGH, there are some ways to help with that as well without pills or extreme treatments (not a fan of the pills. makes you dependent on them and I feel, fosters a lack of personal responsibility and lessens the feeling of agency in one's life worsening the likelyhood of recovery... anyways).

I tend to believe that depression is largely an environmental problem and that people can cure themselves by changing their environment. but that requires the will to do so, and no one else, nor any pill can give you that.

I believe OP can't stand said people not because they're depressed, but because they are not truly depressed and take away from a very real problem. these are people that truly, just need some willpower and self awareness, not pills. essentially they need to grow up and stop letting shit affect them so damn much.

remember, this comes from someone very well acquainted with depression. set aside your "REEEEEEEEEEEE" status for like, 5 seconds, before you respond and think about it.

think about that one friend that constantly says they're depressed but every time they say it you're like "bitch please, it was starbucks coffee". its not black and white and everyone with a diagnosis doesn't necessarily have it.

>>16897000
What was your spread?

>>16897055
therapists are people and trusting "experts" too much is folly.

you don't think they want to publish that paper on their "radical new treatment plan with unheard of results *clickbait clickbait clickbait*"

you don't think they want dat kickback from the drug company or that one doctor?

you don't think that some of them want you to keep coming back to them?

they're people. not all of them are great.

its not so black and white as a diagnosis. its about self awareness and knowing what you need and its not easy. certainly not as easy as just popping a pill. crutches will help you walk but if you want to run they'll never cure it.

dunno man. came here mainly cause i felt the first poster got a lot of anger for a completely legitimate view.

I started writing shipping fanfiction based on movies/television shows I watch about 2 months ago. I've written 4 solid sized works and I get a decent amount of views but I get anxious because I don't get many reviews/comments, at least relative to other authors on the site. I mean of course I'm going to say this, but I think my writing is at least readable, but not getting reviews/comments convinces me what I write is complete tripe even by the standards of shipping fanfiction. I'm not sure which is more embarrassing.

I did very well the first semester and I wanted to make the Dean's list at least once, but I don't think it's going to happen. I'm still studying and working to the best of my ability, but I just don't think it's going to happen.

I've officially accepted that not having friends is something I'm just going to have to live with. It was a beautiful day out, and the main grassy part of the campus was absolutely packed. I felt like a total loser. I've struggle for years with something most people don't even think about.

I smoked every kind of weed in Vietnam

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I lost my virginity when I was 13. It was also before I had my first kiss.
One of my exes' baby was killed by her fiance. I may be the father of the baby and my child is dead.

My work is fucking killing me.

My friend got me a contract at a hot place. Great employee value.

He's been complaining for years how the people there are lazy fucks who don't do shit.

I got in on... a month contract, due to a lazy fucker going AWOL for a month.

So here's how it is.
My department is going 200% normal because of me.
I work hard. I do it honestly.
My team leader loves me.
My supervisor loves me.
I can do for them what 3 people can do.

But the department manager loves to hire students at reduced cost.
So they do a shitty job. They cost less.

So here I am going to be fucked over by a bigwig fucker while all my coworkers are saying how grateful they are that I'm here.

The fuck type of business is that?
Everyone until the very top is saying how great I am.

I hate my fucking life.

I'm going to make you feel like I'm giving you something and that you're winning. meanwhile Imma be solving my problems in a cocoon and you won't know it till I crack it open and even then you'll have to be paying attention cause I won't be calling your attention to it.

this is because I've watched the results of talking to you. I tell you whats up, and it just happens to get fucked up? you're sloppy with your coincidence game. your slithering is making too much noise.

don't worry about it. I'm gonna get what i need then leave. its only if you chase me that I'll retaliate. don't.

>>16897126
power point that bitch to death and show how it is economically worthwhile.

at least fight it man. fuck.

>>16897154
I'm trying man.
I literally have all the whole department singing my praises now.
They all say how much I'm doing for them.
I enter early and stay late.
They need help?
I'm there.

They all love me.

My supervisor?
She loves me.
I do what she tells me.
I do overtime without question.
She needs me in a position? I do it.

The department supervisor though is like, "Employees? Why? Get more students to do it for free".

So every week we have to deal with a new student who know nothing and is dealing with 4X course load so quits out in 3 minutes.

Jessus.
Why the fuck did I ever get myself into this shit?
Given a year, I could be manager of the whole department.
I could run this shit.

But I guess it was never to be.
It's so corrupt.

To violate my NDA, it's a biohazard facility.
Think of all those government engineered kill viruses. Yeah, that's where I'm working. And yeah, that's the type of management that's going on.
Jesus Christ.

>>16896729
Initials?

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you don't fucking care. you can't even pretend.

Well no replies to texts in nearly a week so I guess she's not interested.

That's her right but why? She seemed really into me for a long time, we went on one date then it dwindled to nothing.

I know i shouldn't dwell but it's bugging me.

I know you have a girlfriend, and I know you avoid talking to me because of it, but my heart skips a beat when I see a text from you, and it just plain melts when we talk, you are always so passionate. I wish we both had more people to discuss these subjects with. With the way it makes me feel, and your cheating history, I wonder if I should just block you.

>>16896185
It'll be okay, anon

I wish life had a meaning other than to fuck the opposite sex in order to make more spawn to fuck the opposite sex.

>>16896072
A while ago I posted about wanting to kill someone.

A little less than a while ago I posted saying I had.

Now I am posting that I am still not caught, and I am considering doing it again.

>>16897444
Oh, the morbid curiosity to befriend a murderer. How did their blood smell?

>>16897457
Not him, but blood smells fresh when you spill it.
Humans, I imagine, are just like animals.

It smells like iron and something like water.

Honestly, you know it when you smell it.

I betchu that a pork farmer cannot smell the difference between human smell and pig smell.

You upset me a few times last night. I know you're totally oblivious to it. You just don't think before you say things. But... you intimidate me. I know you're so much smarter than me and know jist the right things to say, while I'm there just listening and fumbling over my replies.

And it hurt my feelings when you said "I don't have time for that" when I gave you book/movie recommendations when I was just trying to be nice in return for all the recommendations you gave me. But sure, it's okay for you to urge me to read or watch this or that and legitimately expect me to do it. And I replied, "you don't think I'm too busy to keep up with all of this either?"

"Busy doing.. what? You only have one job." Like I don't have other responsibilites or things I need to do in my life besides reading/watching whatever it is you recommmend. Like my life just revolves around you. I'm just trying to be friendly and you're being a legit jerk about it.

I don't know what to think of you. I really like you but you've got a way of unknowingly making me feel like shit. Sometimes I'm trying to talk to you about something and you make it seem like you're not interested in what I'm saying at all, and you end up steering the conversation back to yourself. Or you change the subject entirely and it drives me up the wall because I want to fucking finish what we were talking about.

If you don't actually care about talking to me and just need someone to listen to you then why bother? I don't know what you see when you look at me. Am I just "that girl I work with sometimes"? Am I just a conduit for your pent-up energy because there's no one else on the shift so you have no other choice?

I'm talking to you because I actually like you and would like to get to know you better. But if you have no interest in getting to know me then... fuck it. I just won't try anymore.

>>16897472
Anon, I regularly lick/taste/drink other people's blood. I asked on that specific person. Each is a little different, you see?

>>16896185

That's anxiety. If you have a moment for downtime, take that shit.

>>16896072
I feel like I'm wasting my life and have stalled at learning anything
I escape to 4chan and video games so that I don't have to face my actual emotions
I feel alone in this world despite having a few friends

>>16896072

My girlfriend is very sick.
Her dr is concerned. We are waiting on blood tests and ultrasound results.

There are one hands fingers worth of illnesses that share the symptoms she is exhibiting. Some are fine. Some are fatal.

The doctor is leaning towards something more serious.

I am terrified. She isnt here right now. I dont know if shes ok.

You're right, maybe i don't put in enough effort. but I just don't care anymore.
Maybe I am falling out of love with you, but I won't tell you that. I won't break your heart like that. I'll sit here waiting for myself to love you the same way that i did in the past.
Why can't I bring myself to love you like I did in the past? Why is it all suddenly gone? I hate myself for it. You're so perfect in every way. I couldn't ask for a better person to be with than you.
And yet...I suddenly don't feel strongly about you anymore.
I'm so sorry.

>>16897569
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXnhWthZ_k4

man I need a cute little gf to go to the gym with, and then fuck silly on the endorphin high afterwards.

or maybe just a chick that I work out with and fuck... nah, gf works better for me emotionally as much as, time-wise, the other works better.

i am sick and tired of people.

one minute you're attracted, the next you're ignoring me.

you know what. fuck you. fuck. you.

>>16897397
>not working towards a legacy while also being a wizard

I'm sick of this. So so so sick of this. I'm tired of living. I'm tired of people. I'm tired of everything. I'm tired of being alone.

I rolled my car two times while being blackout drunk. Walked away. No long term pain or problems. I got pulled over by a cop going 60 mph in a 35 down winding roads blackout drunk high on cocaine. Walked away. Didn't even get a ticket. I charmed him and he thought I was silly enough to let go. I had ten empty stamp bags in my car and heroin, THC, cocaine, xanax, ketamin, alcohol and MDMA in my blood from drug use that had been from a week prior to that. I also survived a heroin overdose. I have been involved in a few very vile things.

Somehow I'm still here, not in prison. A certifiable idiot, an objectively stupid lowlife. I don't deserve life. I don't. I hate myself for all the fucked up shit I've put my family through. I want to die. And I know this is horribly selfish and overwrought this is.

If there is a little girl or boy that ever needs an organ transplant, I am going to give them whatever they need. If there is ever a greater cause or that I can give my life up for, I'm going to.

For all the pain my idiocy has caused over the past five years: I am so very, very, very sorry.

>>16897954
With all those drugs in your system, your organs will be worth nothing.
Also, jump off a bridge if you want to, but do not drive intoxicated. You put OTHER people at risk. If you want to be an idiot, fine, but don't be a jerk, don't ruin the lives of those who don't even know you.

>>16897986

I'm clean. If I'm going to kill myself it's going to be with a knife or a bullet. But, although it is unquestionable I should, I'm not going to put the people who had my back through anything else unless they all die before me.

god I fucking hate this stupid game of who likes who

I honestly can't wait to get out of this godforsaken school. nothing is really fun and I don't care about my bad grades. I want to care but I just don't

and if I have to spend one more class period a semester sitting in the same room as her, I promise to actually do something about what I've said to her

>>16898005
Well then, better than expected. If the idea of donating organs is one that brings you closer to redemption, you can donate blood. It could even work as an incentive to stay clean.

It really upsets me that my soon to be ex girlfriend is wasting all of our relationship's potential just because she can't accept that she's a fucking bitch.

If she would just accept it and own it, we could work on putting it in an appropriate place in the relationship. In other words, treat people how you want to be treated. If you're going to be a bitch, expect to get treated like one.

But no. This woman seems to think I'm going to just let her be a useless bitch while also being patient and kind with her. Why are people so fucking dumb? I'll put up with it for a while, but she literally just ruined the relationship tonight. I might not dump her outright tomorrow, but I'm winding down, starting to cozy up to other women, and basically just planning for my own future alone.

meanwhile she's busy being a dumb bitch. Makes me sad inside that people are this retarded. But I guess hey, that's life. She's the one who has to live with herself.

>>16898034

I've been looking into donating a random kidney through a foundation but I would rather wait until a friend's kid needs one or something, or if someone's kid in the community I live in does.

>>16898057
That's the beauty of donating blood, it's pretty much an endless supply, so no need to wait for special occasions.

>>16898065

Well maybe I'll do both

>>16898074
There's also bone marrow donation. Nothing stops you from doing all three, really.

>>16898036
You deserve each other

>>16898057

honestly, you should become an organ donor then kill yourself. seriously. at least this world will get some use of you.

my sister died at the hands of a drunk driver and he got off with three years in the pen. i know your type: acts all woe is me after getting away with a bunch of crimes and shitty behavior. and i have no sympathy for you. i would smile if you went through with it. so again, please kill yourself, you fucking scumbag.

>>16898109
No, no one "deserves" anything and that line of thinking is naive, childish, and entitled.

I've earned better. "Better" hits on me all the time. I just genuinely wanted to be with this girl. I didn't mind she was a bitch until she started pretending that was just real life, not her choosing to be a bitch. I can't stand dating people who aren't in tune with themselves like that.

I miss the person you used to be.

I miss the person who would acknowledge my presence. I miss the person who doesn't make me follow his convenience. I miss the person who would fucking have a conversation with me without calling me 'entitled' for just wanting to talk to you.

I miss the person who would never say that I deserved to be pushed away. I miss the person who would never say that I would just have to wait.

When I wasn't talking to you, you were upset. Now that the situation has flipped, you think i don't have the right to be upset? That the past two months of my life haven't been hell enough, that what you did meant jack shit? You broke my heart and you didn't even have to look me in the eyes. Why can I not want my friend back now when before, you just wanted to be friends?

I wish I can go back in time and make it all different. I miss the person I fell in love with. I lost you as a partner. I can't even start to think of how painful it would be to lose you as a friend. But now I'm starting to think that person never existed at all.

You say you want to be my friend, but I really know that you don't want anything to do with me anymore. What did I do? All I did was take care of you. All I ever did was love you.

>>16897954
I too don't believe your organs are worth donating at this point. You need to either decide to donate the rest of your time/life to helping others, or just off yourself to prevent further injury to innocents due to your reckless behavior. I'm not saying this lightly. I truly think you should remove yourself if you are a danger to others, because this sounds terrible. But if you believe you can get your life together, I would love for that to happen, anon.

I wish you liked me more than you do. I should just let you go, but i still cling to the past, hoping one day that it'l go back to the way it was. But that's dumb and i know it, you have moved on and i really need to forget about you. I hate that you don't have any interest in me like you used too. I don't even like the real you all that much, i just like the idealized version of you in my head. I'm not good at letting go

I keep questioning myself if hugging someone all of sudden would be a strange thing to do.

>>16896457
You must be me

>>16898346
The answer is likely yes, because you will probably scare that person if you aren't already very good friends with them.

I have this impending sense of doom but I can't put my finger on why. Maybe it's the stress of trying to go to another country for a Study Abroad. If I don't get all of my shit together by the end of the month then I won't be going at all, which will suck ass because it will take me at least a year to attempt to go again.

>>16898346
Hugs are always good :)

>>16896901
>I guess it's just that, for the first time in my life I've found someone that genuinely makes me happy every second I'm with them, and every time I look at her I cant help but smile because of the simple fact of how happy she makes me when I see her. Idk why I lack the courage to make a move, or what it is that holds me back, but I hope I conquer this fear soon, before its too late. :/

I know that feel m8.
I can't help but to smile whenever I am in her company.

I feel terrible all the time on the inside but I don't want anyone to know so I just try to hide it.

>>16897569
Initials?

If they ever find out then I might have just destroyed 8 years of friendship because I had sex with their partner of 3 years. The funny thing though, is that I don't even think they'd be all that upset about it.

...did... someone delete my previous post, here?

...I'm not even allowed to speak on this board? That was made for whining?

...I can't get the hardest part of my life off of my chest without it being rejected. By people, by anonymous text... I think I'm just going to an hero, now. I've been wanting to for about 8 years, now. Bye, everyone.

I need to wake up in less than 5 hours to catch the early train into the city, but it's always worth it because I get to see you. My family jokes that they never thought I'd turn into a morning person, handling such an early schedule each week. I haven't told anyone about my motivation though, about how it's you. Even though it's way too early in the morning to be cracking jokes and smiling, I have a good time and I look forward to each of these days. I think you do too, and that makes me embarrassingly happy.

I realized something kind of amazing a few days ago, that really shows how I feel about you. I know it's dumb and sort of grossly romantic, but I do hope that one day I get the chance to tell you this, since I never thought anyone would make me feel this way. There have only been two things in my entire life that have made me more than happy to wake up and leave the house at 4 in the morning: the chance to hike (redacted) at sunrise, and the prospect of seeing you.

>>16898504
With friends like you, who needs enemies?

>>16898346
See? Nice, normal thing to do under the circumstances. As much as you'd like to think this was another "crazy" act of mine.

I kinda think it's hilarious people get offended by words like faggot and nigger. I kinda think it's hilarious people get offended by anything.

>implying words mean anything at all
>implying anything in life means anything at all

>>16898579
>WAKE ME UP
>CAN'T WAKE UP

>>16898579
Oh, you're a real lofty muthafucka.

It's hard being alone. But it's for the best, I guess.

>>16898645
I feel you, friend. But what I understood is that before you offer yourself to others, you must be sure you are the best you can be.

Being alone is hard. But while I'm alone, I'll work hard to become a better me.

I expect too much of girls when I date them and they all think I'm some kind of chad. I only want a gf that I can stick to and who gives me emotional security.

>this is my thread
>sorry for /advertising
>>>16898722

>>16896689
You have every right to be pissed, women like her give the rest of us a bad name. She's going to lead him on until she's gotten what she wants and then she's going to go fuck a chad, leaving him in the dust.

Because this cunt isn't smart or motivated enough to do shit on her own, the rest of us have to suffer.

I'd rip that fucking stacy's scalp off if I were you, but I'm white trash. We need to start doing something about these meta whores in our society though.

It's been what, 5 years since i last saw you? Its been 5 years of having this part of me missing, all the way through my latter teens, the time i should've been out, having fun with other girls, having sex and messing around, but instead my heart stayed with you, all the way on the other side of the world. People think i'm mad, stupid, deluded to hold onto you so dearly... But what else could i have done? You were the only support i had through years of anxiety, depression, alienation and estrangement.. I love you, and i don't regret holding into you one bit.

But now, i'm scared... Finally, we get to see eachother again, and be back together, for a short while, a few months at best. Just you, me, and a shitty car to take us around beautiful New Zealand.. I know it will be an amazing time, we have a love for eachother that no one can come close to destroying. But, what do we do afterwards, when we have to part ways again? I will keep on, i will hold onto my love for you for as long as it takes to be with you again. But, i'm scared for you. I worry, that your love for me will endure after we've parted, and that you'll suffer as i have these past 5 years. I hope you can move on... I don't want to be the reason you cry every night, as i have, i don't want to be the reason you year yourself apart over a person you wont see again for years.. You've done nothing to deserve that.. As much as it hurts me to think of losing you, i need you to forget about me. I need you to hate me, to never miss me ever again, to think of me as the insecure loser that i am. You need to let go of me. Please, don't let me be the reason for your hurt... I feel ive gone past a point, where i'll never love anyone but you, and i need to you cut me off, for your own good...

You wouldn't be so up in her shit if she talked about the same stuff with you as with us girls. Like one of the many one night stands she's had this month. Or one of the multiple dudes at work she's banged. Unless that's what you want. In which case I don't want you. If she was so great I'm sure one of those guys or her babies daddies would've kept it if it was worth a shit.

i lost my only friend when i was 11 to a severe asthma attack

i'm 31 and i'm still grieving over it today, haven't been quite so able to make friends since then

I miss high school

people aren't bullying you because they're wrong
it's YOU not them

>>16896083
Let's be friends then

......
I'm sorry. Insecurities always get on me.

I wish you a good luck on your journey.

i'm pathetic, everyone i know thinks it they just don't say it

Ma dio cane tedesca di merda. Prima mi fai gli occhioni dolci... ti offro un passaggio e mi dici "ci vediamo stasera". Poi tiri pacco.

Ma vaffanculo stronza. E io zerbino dio cane.

When I sit and drink coffee in the uni plaza, I see all those girls (18+ and older) and I sexually crave for them all. I wanna give pleasure to each of them, take care for each of them, protect them and be part of their life story. But primarily I see them as sexual targets, even if in a kinda romantic way.

And I feel guilty about my sexuality and my burning desire to fuck them all.

>>16896072
Me and my sister getting to good along
I was always her best friend but now things get really wierd :s

>>16896216
>>16896901
Ok thats what you need to do. The next time you tow are alone and things get good you start tickling her and go on top off ger than you stop and look as deep in her eyes as possible (faces must be close), the look on her face will tell you to kiss or not. It's maybe a childish move but it workes

>>16898375
Thank you. Good to hear more are out there. <3

My libido is so high this week it's driving me insane. I really want to have sex with my ex but it'll be at least four more days till I can which is further driving me insane

I feel like shit for wanting to push someone away. I can't tell them why because it would be humiliating to admit it. But I don't know how to go about this properly. All I think I can do is just be cold to them and not go out of my way to engage conversation. Keep it polite and professional, I suppose.

....

I wish I didn't have to. You really make my eyes light up when i talk to you. When the shift is over, my heart flutters and I feel the adrenaline giving me a high hours and hours after. I think about you constantly. It's been a very, very long time since I felt something like this.

I've never understood how anyone could be so close with their family. I love my family -don't get me wrong, but they all seem to be so close-knit with me sort of hanging out on the outside. now there's so much drama between them and I only want to stay out of that. the only way to not get involved is to not be around so much and it makes me feel like shit.

>>16899512
If people would just say it sometimes though, life would be easier. I'm in the reverse situation right now and it just leaves me feeling like I'm some weird exception , or that something is wrong with me. Kills the tiny amount of confidence I had.

I will miss you. I will miss you so much it hurts. I will miss falling asleep talking to you, and putting my hand on your stomach to calm you down when you have nightmares. I will miss your kisses on my forehead, and when you run your fingers through my hair. I will miss your smell. I will miss the way you chuckle when I say something funny. I will miss the way you lay over me after you come inside me, and kiss my cheeks. I will miss the sweet voice you have when you insult me jokingly.
I know it's for the best, I know you'll be great. And I will never tell you how much it hurts.
I'll always be your girl. You'll always be my man.
I love you. I think I will tell you I do, before you leave, even if it is unnecessary.
You're far from perfect, but you're the most wonderful person I've ever met.

People don't know what the fuck they're even talking about in the first place.

If I wanted your opinion I'd fucking ask for it you cowardly piece of shit. It takes a special kind of piece of shit of a human being to prey on someones mental issues.

Least I'm getting a grasp on my problems now and I know where it's coming from. These anti anxiety meds are making a world of difference, it's like my head was in a completely different reality before and these have brought me down enough to regain control.

Go fuck yourself. Hitler should have went after people like you instead of the Jews.

M - Who the hell ARE you? You have the fucking gall to come up and me and whisper shit in my ear and then act like you don't know me? Don't friend me on facebook and last night … damn… you give me that puppy dog look. It's really priceless, that look. Why you fucking with my shit? Does it have something to do with J?

I'm tired of being good at nothing. All I do is hoard shit and sleep. My interests are there, but I'm either not good at them and/or I end up going on the internet researching them. I dream big but have little confidence. Therapy, personal mentors and family have all failed to help on the outside and I have barely anything to believe in on the inside. I was genetically built to not live as long as I have so far. Yet it is fucking impossible to get a gun. It would be nice to have something to look forward to. I'd make my own thread about this, but I've made similar threads before with not many people caring. I need help. I really do

CG --

You are hot. You have beautiful eyes and your skin shines. I'd love to be your friend but I think I'm not cool enough and you are friends with some of my haters. Still, thanks for talking to me the other night.

My dad killed my mom. My dad was killed by the guy she was cheating on him with. I was 6. My middle school friend overdosed trying to escape his crush constantly lieing to him, his little heart couldn't take it. I was 13. My bestfriend in highschool killed himself when his girlfriend got addicted to heroine. I was 17. Ive been alone for the last 5 years and I'm falling for you so fast, I cant trust you, its a terrible feeling for you. Ive lived carefully my whole life, I never take risks. Caring about you as much as I do is the biggest risk Ive ever taken, and it's tearing me apart. I am begging you not to hurt me.

>>16899726
I'd lIke to be honest and tell them why I have to not be too friendly with them anymore, but that would mean I'd have to reveal my feelings for them. It would just make things awkward/strained. So sometimes not saying anything is better than the actual reason. It just depends.

Why does it bother you so much though? Do you really like this person? Have you tried talking to them about it?

>>16899770
Despite everything I did for her, she never gave me closure, and only inflicted more pain.

I am going to pretend you are her, and that was for me.

>>16898708
Good advice, thanks.

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Today was a good day. I asked if the girl I got a crush on would like to come out with me to the city to go eat and just hang around in general. We talked about a lot of stuff, including our past lives, interests, etc. We share a lot of similarities, and for the first time in my life I actually think that I am falling in love with someone.

We spent the evening together watching and laughing at various strange and hilarious youtube videos, and when I wrapped my arm around her she didn't react with disgust or apprehension like I feared!

I think that she might like me, but I am unsure how I should proceed. Just keep hanging out with her & ask her out for coffee, movies etc and see how things develop?

I'm completely over it and I'm trying to make the right steps to fix my life. I just want to be left alone.

>>16900760
Well bully for you.

I'm beginning to feel like a total piece of shit.

I've been friends with a woman that is as old as my mother, I have developed feelings for her for quite a while, she's been single for long and I never, ever had the balls to tell her anything.

Now some coworker who's married decided to dump all of his praise to her to the point it's kind of nauseating, she keeps saying she doesn't really want anything with this dude and he's kind of annoying, but I can definitely tell she feels differently. I have a weird feeling about this because I feel she would have no reason to lie to me if I never even bothered her with her choices. Yet I can tell she's not as honest.

Maybe my issue is giving off a vibe that I might be interested in her. But I'm trying really hard not to give her that impression. Kinda want to look elsewhere, but there's no elsewhere in my situation.

>>16897056
bwahahaha

>>16896072
After my last breakup, i began to embrace the "fake it till you make it"-mentality

I began to pretend that i could do good work and my grade in unviersity skyrocketed.
From being a noone who dresses nice i became a *popular* narcissistic asshole who thinks that he's close to perfect and still dresses well. and people around me actually dig it.
I started dating a girl and she's absolutely into me and this mentality.
Perhaps it is because I'm a good listener and really good at having a deep and meaningful conversation
So apparently it is good to be absolutely full of yourself, as long as you can sympathize with others...

>>16900759
Looks like you don't need advice
Good for you annon

>>16898317

I will probably let a physician determine that... I am clean and have been for about a year and a half. I go to church and all that :) I just feel really bad about everything, I was/am just an idiot and/or bad person that didn't care and I'm just really starting to come to terms with that.

Having feelings for him is seriously destroying my ability to concentrate on ANYTHING. I have a paper due tonight and a presentation I need to give tomorrow. I skipped the lecture for one of my classes both times this week and once last week because I was going to use the time to work on another class, but when I go to the library to work I can't actually get anything done because I'm thinking about him and looking at /adv/ type articles online. I can't function. It must be some sort of biological impulse, except I don't want to sleep with him. It would be so much easier if I just wanted to fuck him. That's an understandable impulse and I'd be able to suppress it or get rid of it myself on my own. But no, I want to know he wants to be in a relationship with me. It's driving me fucking crazy and it's even throwing me off my game when I see him. We haven't been able to flirt because I've been so shy and distracted that I can't do shit. Fuck I mean I can't even hardly make eye contact with him any more because I end up blushing. I think he's trying to be nice to me but I can't tell if he's trying to get me to notice him again (because he thinks I've lost interest?) or if he's just trying to cheer me up because he knows I'm having a tough time with other shit in life right now too. These feelings suck. I would pay to get rid of them.

The worst part is that we haven't had any time alone together in about two weeks, and during this time is when I've really started going crazy. I don't know where I stand any more. If I were just alone with him, I'd be able to get a better read on the situation.

Okay. I'm going to do it. I'm going to ask him out. And if he doesn't want to, I'll know for sure. And if he does say yes, but when we're together it gets awkward and he doesn't show interest (because at least there won't be other people around to distract him), I will still know for sure.
But not knowing right now and tiptoeing around is destroying me.

>>16896072
I fucked up really bad, /adv/. Really bad.

I've known her for a few years now. We've been close for the majority of that time. She's my ex, so we have somewhat of a history. I moved away a couple years ago so we now live on opposite sides of the planet from each other.

I knew I had feelings for her the second I laid eyes on her, and they only grew as I got to know her and how fucking great she was.

But yeah, despite the distance, we've kept in super close contact. It's even helped us grow closer, as weird as that sounds. We talk pretty much every day. We've memorised the time differences so we know when to message each other, and when we're both completely free, we will video chat.

Basically, a few months ago, she ended up confessing that she had feelings for me. I'm terrified of my feelings for her, I didn't know what to say or do. I ended up not doing anything. A short while after we had a misunderstanding. She got pissed at me and didn't talk to me for a while. She's since come back and forgiven me but the spark is gone. I think she's lost her romantic feelings for me.

So here I am, on the other side of the world, pining for her, while she's seemingly over me. I feel fucking broken. I can't stop thinking about her. Everyone says the feelings will go away with time but they're not going anywhere. I don't know what to fucking do with myself.

This sucks, man.

I'm so confused. I can't even remember how it happened. He said he couldn't make it on Tuesday because he wouldn't be in town. Did he say he could only do Wednesday? Yes, he said he'll only be in town on Wednesday, to have lunch with so and so. But .. I said I couldn't do Wednesday because I'm leaving and he remembered I'm leaving. Or wait no maybe not? Did I say again that I leave on Wednesday? Does he not remember I have to leave? And then I said that if we didn't meet, I could leave a day earlier and then he got kind of quiet and ... the fuck did he say? Maybe he didn't remember I'm going out of town later that week so that's why he didn't understand what I meant by saying I could leave a day early? He kind of paused and said okay but then N said something and the conversation couldn't continue. Damn maybe it would have gone differently if it was just the two of us. I was just so disappointed that he cancelled that I didn't even realize he might be sad about it too? Was he? He seemed sort of unhappy when we left. But that might be because he was in a bad mood from earlier. Fuck. I'm trying to remember because it was just so shitty that I can't even remember the details correctly, and he seemed really fucking distracted afterwards as I was leaving. Shit.

I'm going to leave this here because the more time that passes, the more I keep thinking about it and the more confused I get. I seriously can't remember what was said. God damn it.

>>16896461
If you like her then tell her.

Even if you dont like her, your future gfs will assume you did/do. Be careful.

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oh, that's pretty good... I'm not saying shit. not jinxing this. biggest hurdle man...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K533gW3boIY

>>16899134
see the thing with bullies, is that they're shitty people. that behavior is inherently shitty. there's constructive criticism, then there's bullying. one of the two is asinine childish bullshit from immature people.

so please explain for the class why anyone in their right mind should ever take advice or criticism from shitty people seriously?

>>16899134
>you are the reason you're getting bullied
>victim blaming.

Fuck you and your friends. I know that you want your friends to hate me but they don't. BPD people are charming, they draw people to them. I will win this. My advice to you is to understand that people like me have a place in your world. I can do things you can't. So I wish you'd suck it up and acknowledge me.

All I want is a piece of the action.

>>16897954
there's obviously a reason you're still living, i'd use it to do something real. sober up and be somebody. but that's just me.

I can't call myself an artist anymore. Feels like I've never been one. That's why I kind of let go of the only thing I was proud of. That's why I feel so much nothing and delirious when I try to do something else. The thing I now to be prud of,should be myself. But I still cringe everytime I see those "You've made it this far so you should be proud of yourself!" posts every now and then. It's become strange. I've become a stranger in my own world. How ironic that when I thought I got away with depression,I lost so much more than I wanted to. But I never lost the things I wanted to. Except for my own self,which is just waiting to do something to be a new self. Having a few weeks off from my shitty work won't make me feel better because I've got no plans. I had plans,but that was only for a day or two so fuck that. I've been listening to the same band for a whole month now and it helps me cope with this stuff,but only sometimes. I wish I wasn't raised by females so maybe I would've come out stronger and not so meek and dramatical with crying on the inside and shit like that. Most of the time I think it's good that I'm on my own,but having no one to talk to is getting lonely sometimes. And the worst thing is that no one will understand you,ever. They can only guess,which makes all this communicating stuff much harder and having people relating to you feels like the best thing in the world. But that's rare.

>>16901468
OH, great. Blame your MOTHER and females for you being a whiny depressed faggot.

>>16901476
sexism doesnt exist

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>>16897056
>>16900784

I'm over trying to be friends with people. Lame ass excuses for everything.
And you..
I could've sworn you weren't like the rest of them, but you've been trying so hard to prove me wrong, seemingly on purpose. I don't get it.

>>16901479
Did I even mention "sexism' in my post? No I did not. That's a different issue. But blaming your mom on your fucked up life sure as fuck does exist.

>>16901479
Yes it does.

>sister is a mathematical biology major
>sister keeps being told that women can't do math, so she should just quit now

thanks that was what i needed

I just want a hug

How can someone be this fucking cute?

>>16901500
ooo the tripfag knows…

I've been alone for a while.

But I've realized what I really want, and that is the first step to coming out of this.
I've found a community that accepts me and shares almost all my views, the off-color type of relationships I want to have. /adv/ regularly insulted the ideas I put forward, but many out there want this kind of relationship and interaction that I do.
And now that I know that the pool is rather thin, but still existent, it's up to me to be the best partner I can be to attract someone I can be close to.

I thought of you again today. My car died and I had to push it in the rain. You were the first person to come to my mind, and I was almost texted you again. You were my best friend and without you, I feel I am all alone. I don't know how you can get over it so quickly, I am angry and sad at the same time, but I guess you're happier this way.

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>>16898410
>>16898518
>>16898964
>>16899201
>>16899252
>>16901509
>>16896445
>>16897001
>>16897043


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcOK_YATp6U&ab_channel=lyricMyric

being alone hurts but if I were to encroach on someone else's life that would make me a monster.

Other people can find happiness because they are other people. The rules are different for them.

I must always be alone. It's better for everyone this way. I just wish it would stop hurting.

>>16901520
What the hell are you talking about?

THANK GOODNESS IT WAS JUST PARANOIA
I'd like to thank not only God but Jesus too. I wouldn't know what to do if it turned out to be true.

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I posted in one of these not too long ago and also made a thread a while back about this bitch. I'm about to snap.

>sister in general is a piece of shit ex-con that moved back home
>sister has taken up the hobby of blaming me for shit happening on her end of the house
>stopped going down there because it's disgusting
>tried to start an arguement at 2AM for towels being in the floor
>threw shit at my door
>claims someone messed with her makeup and ruined it
>blames me for it and I have to defend myself when my parents come questioning me
>just finished defending myself again when she blames me for more shit being ruined/thrown around in that bathroom
>scared she's going to come up with fake stuff to get me into real trouble
>tried to tell my parents I was growing drugs when I've just got pepper seedlings and a tiny hedgehog cactus in my room

I'm fucking sick of this. She's on parole and I don't believe she has given a formal change of address (not supposed to be here). There are other legal reasons I believe that she isn't supposed to be under this roof iirc. I want to call the cops and kick her out.

>>16901577
I was being vague, because this community I'm a part of is, 1: hated by /adv/, and 2: also on this site. And 3: people here say these relationships are unhealthy when they're built on mutual committment and affection.

Sorry if it confuzed u

>>16898518
Way to attention whore. You're seriously going to kill yourself just because your text disappeared? Maybe you should then; if you get that upset over something so simple, then life is going to rip you apart.

No matter what I do I can't turn myself in to somebody I don't hate. I've busied myself so much trying to turn myself in to someone I like, but I can't change who I am. And I hate who I am. I would not enjoy being with myself. I don't know what to do anymore, I don't enjoy anything despite my best attempts to become happier.

Every day I go through the day feeling nothing but agony and despair. Fuck.

>>16901630
Then why post about it in the first place, nigga? What is the fucking point of posting some vague-ass shit on an anonymnous site?

>>16899509
Why so long? What's stopping you from having sex sooner?

>>16899770
This could've been written by me holy shit

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>>16896072
I wish I could load up everyone in this thread inside a school bus and dump them inside the fiery caldera of an active volcano

I have a friend that I like and they like me. They always tell me their problems and we talk literally all night. Recently he started cutting himself and showing me and telling me "show me yours you maniac!!!". I hate him now. Only thinking about how shitty he thinks his life is.

>>16901579
What is it?

I hope it's worth it.
I'm not an idiot, but you apparently are.

>>16901830
It will be worth it.

i am a sociopath, toying with the emotions of everyone around me.

I'm glad you're all happy over there and all that, but I stand by what I said previously; I'm not involved with any of you. You all have fun, but you don't need to draw attention to yourselves. Focus on your friends, take care. You and I will not cross paths, that's an impossibility.

My best friend pointed out that I seem to fall for perfect archetypes without even realizing it. The metalhead badass who would play my favorite songs for me on his electric guitar and burn me mix CDs, the painter/writer who was far too passionate and studied French extensively, just to read Hugo's work in its original form, and now the textbook stereotype asspie nerd who is way too smart for his own good, gets too involved in tabletop rpg shit, and whose jokes no one understands.

I don't even know how I find these fucking people. The weird thing is that I've stayed the exact same person for ten years. I'm mentally a fucking teenager. What the hell is wrong with me? The only difference now is I have a job and dress slightly better.

The nerd might be actual marriage material, though. I've never felt like this about anyone before. Even my own mother thinks he's fantastic, and she hates pretty much any man who doesn't look like the tall blonde Aryan ideal.

I need a second opinion on this.

My best friend has just informed me that he was raped.
I believe him whole heartedly. I'm trying to support him to the best of my ability.
My heart goes out to him, and I'm very worried for his well being.
He did not choose to be raped. He did not deserve to be raped. It is not his fault that he was raped.

however, there's a terrible disgusting nagging feeling in the back of my head that he could've avoided it.
He's always intentionally trying to seek out shifty people or stuff related to the grime of society, drugs, etc. I don't know why, it's how he is, and I always figured it would get him into trouble some day. But I never imagined this.

Apparently he decided to hold onto some kind of drug package for a presumably random person. I believe this to be the man who raped him, I'm not going to press him for details.

am I right to believe that if he had taken steps to mitigate his contact with dangerous people such as this, he wouldn't have wound up in this predicament?

I've finally accepted that I'm probably bipolar or something. I don't want to be medicated so I don't know what a diagnosis would do. I think I'm in a manic stage right now. I feel so happy and warm and I have for days. There's so much shit I want to do.

I'm alao pretty sure I have autism, I display several traits, but I'm unsure because the traits I have also overlap with OCD but the way they're described with autism sounds more like me.

Oh well.

I just got caught window prepping and she called the police but I escaped... How fucked am I?

i feel like we are wasting each others time. I'm so sorry for everything I ever did to you.

>>16899377
this would probably work, or just touch her on the arm and say "tag you're it"

anything to get some physical contact going. the more seemingly innocent, the better.

>>16902072
How about don't be a fucking creep?

>>16898460
M is mine.
But i know that my C doesn't browse 4chan.

>>16902052
a diagnosis of bipolar wouldn't change what meds they give you anyway. my experience is that they tend to medicate based on the symptoms you present with. if you have depressive symptoms, they will give antidepressants, if you have mood swings, they'll give mood stabilisers. this is true whether your diagnosis is clinical depression, bipolar, a personality disorder, or whatever.

just mentioning it in case you ever do change your mind about meds, or for someone else who may be reading.

you will want to take steps to make sure mood variations don't wreck your life. some people get by ok, but many actual bipolar folks do end up needing meds. otherwise they will accidentally their finances, their job, and occasionally their whole life. so if you don't like the idea of meds, I would urge you to look into therapy or self-help. there are books, workbooks and other self-help materials out there.

if nothing else, at least promise that you will not make any major financial decisions or life decisions at any time you think you might be manic.

Really sounds like you and your new guy are rocky.
I hope you don't try to come back to me.
Because I know I won't say no.

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Katherine, you're a fucking bitch and I want to bite your neck and watch all of your life blood drain out of you jugular, but I love you and want to spend my life with you, you insane bitch.

>>16902224
.....I'm afraid to ask, but what is the first initial of her last name?

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>>16902258
Wsup Kat, you good?

>>16902285
Phew, he'd never call me Kat.
Well yeah NOW I'm good!

I want to know if I fucked up
I want to know if I was alright
I want to know if it's alright to feel this way
I want to know if it's alright for you to help me sway
I hope it's alright that I don't want to like you
I hope it's alright that you know I'm alone at night too
I'm drinking right now and wondering about it
I hope that it'll be all good if we talk about this

Why the fuck did I just write that? I just want to get you off of my mind. But that was the first time in literal years that I have even been kissed by a girl. Since high school. I'm fucking pathetic and I shouldn't have told you that. Now I'm drinking and it's 1 am and I'm wondering why you haven't texted back. It doesn't matter. We weren't the best of friends, but we were friends before then. But we both knew what was going to happen. We both knew what "hanging out on Tuesday" would lead to. Like you said everyone at work wanted us to hook up. So we did. Not because of them but for us, we were both hurt. We're both vulnerable. Out there watching the lightening with a stomach full of fast food. Shit. I can't like you I can't love you. I still want to feel attracted to though. I've never felt needed. I've never felt someone feel passion towards me in that way before. It felt good. It felt good the way you grabbed me and just came at me all at once. I must've looked so ridiculous. So nervous. My point stays clear I need to forget you. Anyways goodnight

>>16902224
A?

She has a boyfriend but she sometimes flirts with me. I'm too shy to do anything about it and I feel like shit hoping their relationship ends. I can flirt back over text just fine but in person it's hard for me to make eye contact.

Welp, guess I scared him off. Should have waited a bit to send that email. Probably should have sent it tomorrow instead of tonight. Probably seems desperate.

Well I'll know pretty soon if I get a real rejection or not. This was a truly terrible idea. But so were the circumstances that led to us meeting in the first place. I would have never met him had I left. Maybe it's important to remember that.

>>16902323
if she's willing to cheat with you she's willing to cheat on you

My marriage is falling apart and I let a creep pressure me for sex because I was so desperate for human affection. Now I have to sit across from this asshole, tell no one what happened because then I'll be the bad guy, and he hits up all my friends. I'm such an unbelievable fucking fool and I can't believe I gave it up to someone who treats me so inhumanely.

WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE JUST BEEN A FUCKING FRIEND? You just wanted me because I wasn't going to say no. FUCK YOU. I'm a human being. I'm sorry you're not sexually attracted to me except when there's no one else.

I was good to both of them. They loved me as friends, they fucked me because they wanted to get their dick wet. One stayed out of duty, the other left when the haze wore off.

I should have just let my husband know how far it had gotten. I should have just left them both to each other. I wish I had been just a little stronger.

I knew what kind of person he was from the beginning, selfish, selfish and self-righteous and delusional even. I spent every day waiting for him to be interested in something beyond his own immediate wants. He is so like a child that I could not stand it.

Still every day I wonder if he will ever see that there is more to the world than his entitled desire to do this pointless thing or own that stupid thing.

He let his own life fall apart and tries to foot the blame on people who existed within it at some point. I am just another stepping stool which he will use to justify a life of waste, selfishness and plain ignorance.

I was used, but not in the typical sense. Thanks for nothing.

>>16902043
>am I right to believe that if he had taken steps to mitigate his contact with dangerous people such as this, he wouldn't have wound up in this predicament?
I thought about this for a bit but will go with "yes." you recognise that it wasn't his fault, and that is the important thing. just as long as you are making that distinction, and not making the leap to "he was asking for it by being there." I can see why you wrestle with it though, because it's a fact that if he hadn't been in the proximity of a rapist, he wouldn't have been raped.

but honestly any contact with other people carries a tiny chance of someone doing something bad to you, and contact with sketchy people increases that risk. but it's still ultimately a roll of the dice. nobody wants bad shit can happen to them, and the uncertainty of it bugs them. so their mind often starts looking at what the other person did differently that could have led to them getting attacked. they do this to reassure themselves that they will be able to figure out how to avoid getting attacked themselves. it is a very human thing to do.

a lot of the anti-rape crowd don't like anything that even hints that the victim's actions might have had something to do with their being raped, because they're sick of people using it as a lead-in to victim blaming. and usually people who engage in victim blaming are said to be motivated by hate or fear, and that's probably true a lot of the time. but honestly I also think some of them are just trying to be logical about it and don't understand they're conflating one type of cause and effect with another.

funny thing is, I am both a feminist and a rape survivor, and yet if I said anything like this on tumblr I'd likely get dogpiled by intellectually lazy community college graduates half my age. oh well.

>>16902388
Hey, what's with the CC hate? That's unfair.

>>16902043
ran out of room but wanted to add: you are a good friend for being supportive. be there for him and listen. expect it to take a while for him to recover. something like this may fuck up his internal "risk detector" and he may become paranoid about people in general, or he may start putting himself in dangerous situations on purpose, or he might do both. it might take months or even a couple years for him to recalibrate it fully.

>>16902392
I was trying to think of a way to convey concisely the impression of someone who sees themselves as learned but whose education has severely shortchanged them in the critical thinking department. I should have just said public school. sorry about that.

>>16902405
This is going to sound weird, but I respect you more for the apology. I appreciate the gesture.

>>16902360
It's not like that. Before she had a boyfriend she was flirting with me. It's not obvious like touching etc but I catch her doing subtle stuff. She says he's controlling and makes her unhappy sometimes. I know that if I made a move while she was with him she would probably push me away.

sitting here listening to my weird music planning the next 15 moves for my business, smiling to myself. I found it, I found my patch of ground.

the scars I've accumulated have made my skin tough. the blows I've taken have strengthened my bones. the anguish and abuse tempered my mind and solidified my resolve. I have been walking solo through crucible after crucible and I fully intend to come out the other side a king.

shield your eyes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDJ2PZwnl2s

>>16902420
How old is she? And you?

>>16902423
She's 17 and I'm 18

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>>16902421
godspeed you glorious bastard

>>16902413
I am glad anon

I'm dying.

It feels good to let someone know.

>>16902430
Lol just find someone else. Seriously.

I'm the father and I won't take any responsibilities and I'm not even half - a - nigger.

I love you so much. Did you break up with me because of the distant? It's obvious that you planned it before I came, otherwise you would never have acted like you did. Why did you lie to me about everything? My life is in shambles, I can't and will never get over you. It's my birthday in a week and that will be the last day of my life. Thanks for the good times. Thanks for the good times. R

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I've come to the conclusion that if i was ever in a position where i was given superpowers, i would most likely use them to murder, maim, and obliterate everyone and every thing in my sights until i was satisfied.

Which is both scary to me as well as calming, because at least now i have a definite reason why i don't deserve anything good to happen to me.

>>16902146
Initials?

10 years ago I dropped out of high school and became a NEET because I had no friends.

I ended up going back and now 10 years later I'm successful but I still have no friends. It almost feels like it was all for nothing considering I have no one to share it with.

>>16901677
It's vague because it is also on this site and is threatened by shitposting already.

I can't believe it. For our senior formal (prom) we had to have tables of ten. My friends and i decided on our table and who would be on it. Then, most my friends decide to go with another group and sit on their table and as a result they basically kicked me out with sitting with them. I dont know why but it seriously hurt me for my supposed friends to boot me out of the table. I dont even know where to sit now, all my other friends have their own tables and im left with no one. The worst part is they told me that had a seat for me clearing my social anxiety about not having somewhere to sit then telling me the next day that i got kicked out. Feel so bad right now, honestly want to cry because it hurt me so bad. You have to sit at your table for most the night, in previous years we planned out how it would work and shit and now they threw everything and fucking ditched me. So done with all this

For every day I'm staying in college, it's slowly poisoning me. The exposure to people, the much higher workload, the fact that one of my teachers is absolutely worthless as help...Oh, and just being around such a huge place greatly depresses me, as there's so much people it can fit.

Why is this a problem? Simple, I'm a red dot in front of a thousand blue dots. I just don't fit in and people just don't like me. I hate feeling like a red dot and would much rather leave. However, someone needs to make money, and no one will accept a gradeless wagemonkey.

I just want to quit for a while and not think. I may be shut in, but I will at least be relieved.

Every day I go to school is suffering.

I'm trying to get as much help as possible to get it over with, but it's still not enough.

I suppose I now know what it's like to be "the other woman". I don't know how to feel about that.

Holy shit, that stare was really scary

What's with her?

>>16903018
Could just be Resting Bitch Face.
Otherwise, she just might not like you.

First-hand experience of both worlds, here, by the way.

>>16902952
I know how you feel anon.

Personally, I'm just trying to get through college so that I never have to look back at it again.

>>16903018
scared of females = faggot

I have never been able to properly fight the sperg, so my social life is restricted to male sperglords. I couldn't even keep a girlfriend for more than a month. I always try because there should always be a chance. but i haven't spoken since the beginning of my sophomore year in uni. I'm worthless outside of academia, video games, music, and philosophy.

at least a girl fucked me, i guess.

I'm lonely.

>>16902911
I'll be your friend.

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As a 21-yo kissless virgin, i love the idea that i have someone who's lusting for my dick, even if i never fucking saw her.

But since i'm also kind of narcicist, i don't want to go the easy way to lose my virginity. And i also don't want to do a 3-hour travel for that.

When half your mind is romantic(not the love-kind of romantic) and the other half is perverted, shit's incredibly annoying.

I'm always hitting on girls, and yet i know that i will never do anything to them, given the option, because i'm going to restrain myself if it's not someone i actually like. Casual sex just isn't for me, apparently.

My own brother unfriended me on Facebook because I ended my engagement to the father of my child... who had started shoving her and lying about it, and tried to use our growing distance to force me into BDSM play and anal... ugh.

>>16903157

In the end all humans are lonely.

I can't stop thinking about fucking my best friend right in his androgynous ass, he's so short and feminine it's gotten really awkward lately because he cosplays and all this other gay shit.

This homolust is eating me up on the inside.

I am at work and I need to take a shit

I'm looking like a total beta retard trying to talk to you, but I have nothing to lose and I'm still not over you after 9 months. Don't ask me if I'm still into you because I'll lie and say no. It's still nice to admire from a distance. Sorry I hurt you.

>>16903347
Do it!!!!!!

And though it's hard, for me to say,
I know you're better off this way.

>>16903376
I'm worried about you. I'd like to know how you're doing. But I'm afraid you're going to tell me you have a gf and I'll feels bad.

>>16903333
quads say go for it you homosex nigger

fucc him right in the boipussi

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>>16901485
I miss you :(

but i'm getting better.

>>16903444
see i can even get gets again

I'm an aussie that hates Australia.
All the laws, people, the weather and what have you..
I just hate them. I'm in an long distance relationship of 10,000 miles with my boyfriend who lives in Ohio. I went there a bit after the start of the year, and it was simply perfect over there. I call there home now, and I've been trying to get back ever since.
Yeah, my family is here, but ever since the new year I just don't belong here, and they know it. The person who was supposed to be my father is off doing fuck knows what, which doesn't bother me. My sister called me in to help move during a fucking heatwave, and didn't have anything organised. I pity her for the most part, but hate her occasionally. My only options for getting back are going to do far too much studying than I could probably cope with, or trying to move across the state for a security job in the city that I know I'm not ready or able to perform.
I was only there for eleven days, but still
I miss home. And I miss him.

I want thing.

I also want thing.

So the girl I want to ask out just broke up with her bf. What's an appropriate amount of time to wait before asking her? Or should I do it ASAP?

25th birthday. At work. Hate life but not because I'm at work.

>>16903638
Just to clarify, she dated him for 10 months

>>16896072
I am 26 now and I am afraid its to hard anymore for me to learn to be proficient in any programming languages, learn any IT work, and 3D/2D art, animation.

I wish I was not to busy trying to learn other thing when attending University, and working long hours.

>>16903734
I'm 29 and learning code.

Step it up

I told her to go fuck herself because she only talked to me because of college subjects.

Then I apologized like the beta cuck I am. Holy shit I feel so humiliated.

I fell madly in live with him, he unexpectedly asked me to marry him and I didn't take him seriously, I needed proof. It was my fault after being in an abusive relationship not to blindly trust, anyway..he ghosted me for years afterwards, now we kind of shyly acknowledge each other, I'm still madly in love with him, not sure how to get us together or if it's what he wants too, I hope so

>>16903785
It doesn't matter, don't worry about it.
Don't judge yourself.
Things Will either work out or they won't, and either way you'll be fine.

>>16903796
Ask him.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

>>16903755
Thanks I do take inspiration from others who are older in age but can still do great things.

I love you, but you are a fucking idiot.

Really Christopher? Tony? Tall skinny sassy generally nondescript? And after everything I wasn't worth 15 minutes? Fuck me, fuck him, fuck you, fuck everything, it's been 7 years already and if I don't stop hurting by 30 I'm blowing my brains out

Oi fatcunt die in a fucking fire fatty

If you stopped trolling, you could find something helpful to do instead

>>16902952
I feel the same, and I'm really struggling in a very important class right now. The prof said he'd meet with me to go over additional help but now he's not responding to emails. I feel so hopeless. I'm so bad at this subject.

Alright then, I'll fuck off, pretend I'm over it and go back to feeling like a passive/aggressive fucked up person - which isn't who I became, really. Or be profoundly myself, be fulfilled

I love you, but I am a fucking idiot.

I always took the blame even when it wasn't my fucking fault,but when I try to blame someone else you fucks call me out like I'm a goddamn racist/mysgonist/whatthefuckever

Jesus fucking christ I hate the fucking lot of you so much

>>16903915
I 2nd this.

>>16903915
do eet

that

feel

when

no

gf

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I have a degree, I have a good job, my coworkers are exceptionally nice.

But I still just had an episode of my fucking depression and am currently drinking to get as drunk as I can and feel like shit. Why?

I swear that if another Nigger comes into the bathroom with his posse and says "yo dawg I lowkey wanna smooke" I'm gonna kill myself

>>16896072
Goddamn it that trans has huge tits, but they just want goddamn money and I'm struggling to pay a speeding ticket. I just want to bury myself in those tits

I honestly don't give a shit anymore, and don't know why I did.

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>>16904052
Lmao nigga... That wa me

>>16903904
I think this is being helpful. I'm amused by all of the guys i ask about 4chan who tell me they can't handle this shit. It makes me feel like I'm the only warrior (also only female) who has the guts to go into the dragon's lair.

>>16904315
So brave, upvoted

Lots of people can be horrible to other people, nothing brave about it

>>16904329
But when I came into the dragon's lair I found I enjoyed the light and heat that came from the fire of his breath. And I had no desire to slay. Only a desire to stay.

>>16904358
And then you posted pics of your tits, so that I may cum on them

>>16904354
I try not to be horrible. I try to knock some goddamn sense into these kids' crazy asses. Oh, and I like the porn. I find it liberating.

>>16903809
I'll do my best

That I'll do

>>16904367
How about you liberate those cannons from your bosom

>>16904365
evert time I try to post a pic of myself it get taken down. I'm constantly tempted but I'd rather have webms up

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>>16904371
so post it on imgur and link back here?

I saw you today for the first time in a week.
Holy fucking hell, but you looked sexy.
I hope you don't think I was rude to ignore you, but I was trying so, so hard not to stare.

I guess.... yeah. I still have a crush on you. Sorry.
I think I'm getting better though?

I've had a half civilized conversation with my mom, and I was even the one to dial this second time!
First time since I moved out 8 years ago.
I almost feel like I got over all of it.

Just send an application for modelling in a haute couture runway. I don't even know why I did that, I can already hear all of those people laughing at me and my body. Shitty low self-esteem.

God dammit it shouldn't be this hard for you people to hire me just POACH ME FROM THIS MEME HELL AND LET ME HELP YOU MAKE DRUGS

>>16904569
LET ME HELP YOU FRY CHICKEN WHILE HE HELPS YOU MAKE DRUGS

>>16899050
any regrets?

>>16896185
As the other anon said, that feeling has a name: anxiety. Everybody gets it from time to time, some people have disorders that cause them to constantly have it. There are ways to deal with it.

I can't think of a single one of my closest friends that wouldn't mind if I just fucking disappeared tomorrow. My roommates hate me, my childhood bestfriend doesn't trust me, I've had 3 people tell me on separate occasions today they'd rather I stay in tonight than join everyone out at the bars. Sure they might have meant it jokingly but there were glimpses of truth in it.
I've just been laying in bed crying while everyone else is enjoying not having me around.
I can tell the people I'm closest too dislike me and I'm beginning to dislike myself as well.

>>16904569
Wow! You took the words right out of my mouth before I even know they were there.

For sure I want to be in the kitchen cooking pies.

I'm a fucking 5'6" loser and I want to kill myself. I've been contemplating it for a while. I can't wait to be dead. Maybe I'll be 6'0" in the next life.

Holy shit I just got swindled by an escort
First she asked to see my id then she claimed that she wouldn't have sex because her ad never stated that "she performed those services"
I hope all of them die horribly
Never trust a hoe, m8s

>>16904759
>crappy friends

It's probably better to have no friends than crappy ones.

The crazy part is for a second I thought I fucked up and bought a message therapist

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did you seriously just do that? the fuck is wrong with you? seriously dude, need to keep your distance. who the fuck does that? what does that even MEAN?! fucking creepy dude.

and I'm still not even %100 that just happened because it's so WTF that I'm having a hard time believing that actually was just a thing. you know, matched with the fact that you constantly talk about whatever pedophile is in the news and particularly ones that like boys, that's reaallly disturbing. I'm removing you from my general vicinity ASAP. fuck that shit man, I don't need a job that bad.

-sincerely, an old man pulled a "look over there" and then lightly tapped the back of my neck with a mustache brush.

WHAT. THE. FUCK. IS THIS SHIT?!?!?!

weirdest shit in the last like 10 years, minus some lady talking about some badass baked potatoes down a street where there are exactly zero resturaunts selling baked potatoes.

I need to shower, then go to the gym and sweat a lot, then shower again.

>>16904843
>paid the escort up front

nigga what you doin

>>16904782
Nigga I meant a pharma company FFS

There's something wrong with me. Because since I had sex with someone I've had sex with three other people. The sex with them (essentially just fb) was great. It felt good at the time but afterward when I went home I still just wanted to masturbate thinking about that person. He's all I think about.

>>16904962
fwb not fb I've never done that before in my life, just basically used someone for sex while letting them know that I had no interest in a relationship with them. It's cruel and I hate being cruel. So I stopped.

>>16904873
Like the stream-of-consciousness thing you got going on here.

I am jealous of other people, I envy them so much that I'm starting to envy the small bits of flair they have. The flecks of highlights in their hair, a pair of studs in one ear, rings on alternating fingers, the happy step in their walk,...

and then there's me, a plain, invisible bastard.

I swear to God, I remember taking the tube one day in my work uniform and walking through a crowd of people all covered in powders of various colours. I mean, WTF? I'm wearing the blandest fade-into-the-background colours and I'm the one that sticks out? Ironic I guess.

I thought it was helping but not so much anymore.

All I know is I can't take much more of feeling/existing like this. If anyone cared for me or loved me they would just lay it all out for me or put a bullet in my head. Instead everyone puts on an act and give vague comments at best, says that I'm the problem when I at least know something is not right and can't ignore it even if I wanted to.

I want to try artificial insemination, but I'm 5'2 and don't know if there would be any adverse effects for either me or the baby if I did it regarding my body size.

>>16905126
Seems like everyone else has it sussed out doesn't it? Cunts, the lot of them.

>>16905146
>artificial insemination

But the old fashioned way is so much more fun.

>>16905252
Same Anon here, reason being is that I don't like guys/in a relationship with a loving woman.

>>16905268
>lesbian

Well now the artificial insemination thing makes sense.

>>16901596
pee in her conditioner. it's the only way

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Today is my birthday. I'm now 27 years old.

I didn't magically wake up a different person today as I'd hoped. I'm still depressed. I still hate myself.

Things are getting worse, not better, but I can't let it show.

>>16899393
Different anon, yeah we're out there. It's not always easy but keep up the good fight~

ordered stuff for 400 bucks

these two weeks off im not gonna set a foot out of this house hehe

I should be sleeping and instead I'm struggling to put my thoughts into words

>>16905519
I should be sleeping but instead I'm gonna go to the gym.

the fuck am I even considering the gym for after a 12 hour shift with a few hours more work to do for myself?

>>16905533
>the fuck am I even considering the gym for after a 12 hour shift with a few hours more work to do for myself?
Maybe that's just how you center yourself? It's good to have an outlet.

I'm not the one acknowledging you. This much should be clear

My depression is coming back. I am literally at the best place my life has ever been. I have good friends. My dating game has been pretty good. My family is supportive. I'm doing okay in college. But tonight my heart feels broken and I feel so alone, even though I know I'm not. I feel like dying.

>>16902043
That's neither here nor there. No point in fretting over what ifs when there are much more pressing matters at hand.

it's been 91 days

I feel overwhelmed from constantly fighting. But I think I'm started to realize that it's not life I'm fighting against. It's myself. I am fighting myself constantly. I don't actually need to be struggling so much. What the fuck is the point? Stop fighting yourself. Just accept it. Embrace these feelings. I need to acknowledge the fear. I'm so scared of what the consequences are going to be, but don't I already know? Just fucking do it.

When you tell someone you want nothing to do with them because of how they act, they shouldn't be so surprised when repeating those exact same identical actions gets the exact same response. When your friends do the exact same shit as you do, in the same way, it's not gonna make me want to see them either. When I told you to have fun over THERE because I don't plan to associate with you, I meant it. You needing to act like the same attention craving child you were last year doesn't change that.

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>>16903973

I almost feel like I'm justified in having sex with other people cause they did the same, but much worse. It's only fair, right?

I'm constantly stressed out about my future, I have no real idea what I'm doing in college and both motivation and inspiration are becoming harder to come by. I have failed 3 courses already because I just can't seem to pull myself back up. I honestly hate myself for being such a disappointment to my family and those around me. I don't think I'm cut out for this life but suicide isn't an option either. I'm just pretty much simply trying to exist at this point while fading into the background of everything around me. I just don't know what to do anymore.