help me /adv/ I caught the feels for someone (pic totally related)

>>16893066
Just go with it. What's the point of living without catching the feels for people and learning and loving and hating and all that shit.

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544KB, 1269x1226px

>>16893066
read this

>>16893066
Don't be a pussy, and stick it in her pussy!

>be me 10 yrs old
>have heart condition
>get heart transplant
>completely healthy now
>woohoo.gif
>always wanted to got to summer camp
>parents find awesome summer camp full of other heart condition kids
>goes to camp every year
>fast forward two years
>new girl shows up
>kinda cute 7.5/10
>don't really notice her or talk much
>tfw she joins my group of friends nicknamed squid squad
>idk why.jpg
>fast forward some years
> now age 17, just quit smoking weed and dealing with depression
>trying to connect with dad who used to be kinda abusive
>haven't talked to squid squad in a while
>suddenly gets text from one of squid squad
>17 going on 18 girl 4.5/10 asks if im coming to her b day
>fuck it.jpg
>says yes starts planning shit out (they all live far away in other state)
>fast forward a month
>almost doesnt show up at party cuz I'm anti-social and i barely talk to these people
>shows up anyway
>shows up way too early

>three hours early
>mom is chill about it
lets call the 18yr old jennifer
>jennifer comes home
>wtf nigga u early.jpg
>helps them set up
>eventually three others from the squid squad show up
>african american we'll call tessa
>and cute girl from before we'll call elle
>starts talking
>they all start talking shit about this one dude elle dated from squid squad, we'll call him marcus
>jokes about marcus wanting to be a teen body builder and how he looks exactly the same in his before and after photos
>marcus left elle, elle low key resents him for it
ill post more of this later, gotta take a shower

>more guests show up
>squid squad sticks together whole night
>barely socialize outside camp friends
>mostly talk with Elle
>fast forward 5 hours
>last noncamp friend leaves at 12pm
>squid squad and I stay the night at Jennifer's house because we all live far away
>Tessa and Jennifer fall asleep
>me and Elle sit real close
>poker face.jpg
>start talking more about Marcus
>begin talking about past stuff
>gets more emotionally deep
>starts saying more shit about my life
>mfw she fully understands
>kinda start getting a lot closer
>eventually we both talk about thinking about suicide
>gets mad deep
>eventually promise to basically run away with her at age eighteen
>brief quiet moment of looking at each other
>think maybe should kiss her
> be dumb ass and don't kiss her
>moment leaves, not sure if she wanted to kiss me or nah
>eventually night ends and dawn comes
>me and her cant stop looking at each other and smiling during breakfast
>she eventually asks me if last night happened
>I say yeah
>tfw feel less depressed
>i kinda fall in love with her
>don't know how she feels at that point
Continue?

gonna continue any way just to get feels out

>she leaves and later i leave
>we dont kiss
>later find out she wanted to
>kms.jpg
>fast forward 2 moths
>almost tenth anniversary of heart transplant
>still talk a lot to elle
>parents suggest party
>i invite squid squad to celebrate
>tell parents to leave that night
>everyone is staying the night including elle
>starting talking about sneaking off to cuddle and talk again
>at one point mention the kiss thing
>finds out she wanted to kiss
>admit i wanted to kiss her too
>1 week till party
>we start talking about kissing a lot
>i'm nervouse about it but i want to kiss her very badly
>gets flirty
>snapchats flirty shit back and fourth
>getting very attracted to this girl

>night of party comes everyone shows up
>can barely move when i see her
>fast forward to midnight
>eventually me and her go to kitchen
>i mention the sneaking off
>she says we can go upstairs
>she goes to squad and turns to me and asks
"hey, you should show me those vinyls you got"
>genius farmer, genius.jpg
>goes upstairs with just her
>other friends assume sexy time
>get into room talk for an hour she mentions marcus and how he keeps trying to get back in her life
>she has min or anxiety attack
>asks to go back downstairs
>i comply
>get so stressed out about nothing happening i have panic attack and have to go to the bathroom to stick my head out the window for fresh air every 20 minutes or die
>she starts texting me from across the room asking if im okay
>we both seem miserable
>say im fine
>dont want to talk about panic attack
>fast forward basically feel alone and ignored all night
>depression comes back and i feel like shit again
>two days later she lets scum bag marcus back into her life "as a friend"
>don't know what to do anymore
>can't move on
>kms.jpg

>>16893416
Should have kissed her when you had the chance, you had quite a bit of them.