I need to convince myself of an irrational belief, or else I'm going to eventually kill myself.
Specifically I need to convince myself that my tinnitus is a sign of my special purpose, that it is the sound of God.
Is it even possible to actually end up believing a belief you artificially created in order to help you
Should I repeat a mantra to myself for an hour every day? I'd try anything that isn't immoral, because the alternative is death.
Read up on Mystics and saints. Something batshit is always happening to them. Start with...eh, Hildegard von Bingen.
>>16890741
Why kill yourself? Because tinnitus sucks? There is actually therapy that can help eliminate or lessen tinnitus, you should look into it.
>>16890771
>There is actually therapy that can help eliminate or lessen tinnitus
Actually that therapy is more or less what OP is trying to achieve. "Reframing".