I'm a 21 y/o friendless guy in college I have social anxiety

/B/ro just chill. Take it slow. It's never too late to make friends. I for one struggled for a while but you can only blame yourself. Find the root of the problem. What caused all this social anxiety?

>>16886827
OP here, my uncle used to molest me on family trips to Colorado. Do you think this might be related?

>>16886827
being really fat

but i've lost a tremendous amount of weight now so I thought it would be easier but it isn't because I still feel like i'm the 300lb guy and i'm now around 160lb

>>16886802
Join a club

>>16886835
Well first of all OP Congratulations on losing all that weight! Seriously good job finding your problem with weight and making a big change, you can inspire alot of over weight people if you post your story one day.

Now the friend making part since your in college try to look for a club or activities with your interests in them. Play your field and do what your comfortable with, the main thing with anxiety is usually being scared of something your not familiar with. So if your into video games find a group of people who play video games, sports go try out for the team or if thats too much then go to an event and try to make a friend there. You might even find a qt in those clubs who shares your interests and then the rest is history. I know making friends is hard trust me, but once you find the right place to look then it will all come naturally. There are people out there who are looking for someone just like you OP all you have to do is but the effort in to find them first. Good luck :D

>>16886835

Your weight has nothing to do with anything. Fat or skinny, it's your self esteem that matters.

Making friends is one of the easiest and hardest things in the world. You have to resign yourself that you will have to put yourself out there. Join a club on campus. Find meet ups you're interested and go. Talk to people. If people don't like you, move on and talk to someone who does.

Most people want more friends, and many people feel very similarly to you and feel powerless to fix it.

Act out the self esteem you don't feel. Put yourself out there. Eventually, the self esteem will find you without you realizing it. Best of luck.

>>16886802
Approaching random women is hard even for the socially adept.

Better to work on developing a circle of friends of both genders. Just announce at the end of a class "I'm thinking of starting a study group. Anyone want to join?" Or if you live in a residence halls, stick your head out your door and say "Anyone want to go out for (or order in) a pizza?"

Join a club. Join a team. Hang out in the snack bar and comment on what someone (M or F) is reading.

>>16887226
i'm in clubs but they have 0 women and they don't really take the programming one serious so I'm definitely not going back and the video game club doesn't play PC games only console and card games

>>16887251
>just stick your head out your door and say "Anyone want to...

Oh God I'm nauseous just imagining doing that. Why do normies talk about this shit like anyone could just do it and not be looked at as a freak? It doesn't work that way. If you aren't a normie and you tried that shit you'd be lucky if everyone just ignored it.

You're thinking about it too much. I know because I've been there. There aren't as many barrier/rules as you think (like not talking to people halfway through a semester).

Socializing is a practical skill like riding a bike. you gotta keep doing it, fail several times, and eventually you'll get a feel for it. My advice is to try to hold conversations with random people who you don't see every day. like if you're in a lounge or something. You will get used to rejection, get a feel for conversation, and may surprise yourself. Simple questions like, "what book is that? How is it?" etc.

Also, try talking to people who you feel are in the same boat as you with anxiety and interests.I always had trouble talking to confident people but with insecure people like myself i was more comfortable.

When it comes to girls, cultivate many friendships with girls you don't think are attractive. to be frank, ugly but cool girls. this is the best because a)you'll understand and appreciate girls more, b) meet more girls through them c)appear more attractive since you're hanging with girls.

Join a club that's majority female. APO is a community service club that is good for this.

Yo, you have no club friends?, look the first thing is get a group of semi-normal friend by picking up a social hobby, go to a karaoke bar or a polish club or something and find a couple decent people, don't even bother with chicks at this time I'll you find legit people

>>16887554
no all the people in the programming clubs are doing really low level stuff because they're new programmers. While I worked as a software developer for a year before even coming to school.

I made friends with some girl who plays the same game as me but she's always too busy to hangout so I never ask anymore

>>16887473
>the video game club doesn't play PC games only console and card games

Thats not much of a reason to not go.

>>16887562

Even if you are more skilled/experienced than them, being friendly and helping someone out would go a long way.

Hey anon I am also 21 y/o friendless and in college.

Except I have no social anxiety and not awkward. You are right it is too late to make friends. Almost everyone I know is just friends with the people they lived with freshman year. I just happen to get a bunch of douchebag room mates.

Bam no friends, it can easily happen to anyone.

If you want friends just for the sake of having friends join some niche club like the animay club. I am not interested in any of that shit personally so I am stuck friendless for a while.

>>16886802
Welcome to the ex-fat-kid club, use your pride in this as a fuel for future endeavors.

-never go about it in a desperate way and friends will come themselves. You're not fat anymore. Being fat really is a disability in making friends, but you aren't fat anymore. From this point on, you're as normal as everyone else there*.

-*be very wary, however, of people from your class who seem like they somehow specifically 'get' your social anxiety problems because:
a) they don't. they just have their own problems, probably worse than yours, and are no fun at all.
b) you will overcome your problem fast as fuck, and they might not ever overcome their problems, which puts you in THE WORST SITUATION possible for making other, normal friends. Especially if you start to get associated with the aforementioned weird-lunatic-guy/girl by other people. (gender irrelevant. I'm a malefag, had a creepy girl (legit no sexual/romantic intentions) at the beginning of my newly-skinny-social-integration that I eventually had to make very clear to the rest of the class through my actions that I'm not very close to her, and that her weird outbursts shock me as much as everyone else. Turns out she was probably a sexual abuse victim or sth. Sucks very bad, but of all people, you're in the least position to be the one helping her out in social situations.)

Again, gz on becoming normal weight. Remember how hard it was to get there. Always remember. And not many people do. Yet you did it. This should balance out at least some of the temporary feelings of inadequacy in social skills, right?