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I am 19 and in my first semester of college, studying Computer Engineering. I sit around all day in my room and surf the internet, either watching TwitchTv or YouTube videos, browse 4chan and reddit, or play video games. I am overweight and anti social, making me your average basement dweller. I have only a few friends that are close and that I talk with over a WhatsApp group. My family thinks I am a failure already and I have no motivation to do anything. I signed up for a Gym three months ago, all I did since then is paying the fee. I only go out of the house to either get some food or.. yeah, to get some food. I have been like this for the last three to five years. Throughout high school, I did not care about anything what was going on in classes and about bad grades I got. I just wanted to get home, eat something and sit down in my awful filthy room, playing video games. I am lazy. I can not even have a conversation anymore with anyone without being autistic or having to think about how to express myself and how they might react to it. As you might have guessed already I am a virgin aswell and just masturbate all day to girls I knew in high school.
Tomorrow, I'm writing the 3rd exam out of a total of 4. I have already failed the first two, and I am pretty sure I will fail this one aswell because I have studied nothing, which will make me either get thrown out of the college I am in or repeat the whole semester. If I get thrown out, and do not get accepted into another college, I will be in debt because of student loans and I will have no job. My grades in high school were under the average, so low that I can actually just forget about the idea of an apprenticeship or something like that. Which leaves me to just find another college or university I can go to and probably do the same again.
I do not know what to do.
/adv/, what reason is there to not kill myself?
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get a full time job ya bum, get your self a set of wheels pay for insurance and least have a job that has potential raises. Like entry level, stock shelfer or some bs. But get off your ass m8
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Decide to rob yourself of all fun. Drop your phone at home. Get to the library with just your course literature and put up rules on the procrastination. i.e 10 push-ups before you go to the vending machine to get your sugar addiction satisfied. Yes, in the library. Point is that it's supposed to be problematic for you.
You can also decide to do stuff like that at home, put up rules for what happens if you don't go to the library and at least try to learn your shit.
Punishments can be hard. Maybe if you're into suicide make that a punishment. I recommend adding an redeem event though. Like beating your 5km track time. Baseline it before you start though.
You can do any number of these things, eat something disgusting that's healthy, decide to do socially awkward things. Do illegal things. Do amoral things.
Just don't fucking break the rules. The one little thing you decided to do for yourself in life you're not gonna break. If you do then fine go ahead. I recommend the exit bag for your family's sake, also send a delayed email for them. Or something.
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You're 19. You fucked up the last two years. It should only take you till 21 to get back on track.
If you go to your councilors office at the University and tell them you can't study or motivate yourself to do basic things, you can probably get a mental health pass on the basis of depression.
They'll make sure you get another shot at this semester, and they'll give you enough drugs to turn you into barty mcfly.
Problem solved.
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