Pirate here. I usually pirate EVERY movie or tv show I watch

Go to the grocery and buy your crab legs. Smuggle them in under your coat. Buying them at the theater is overpriced. Make sure your falcon is well rested so he isn't agitated during the film, since this is rare for him to go out with you. When the film is over, hurry to the showers so you don't have to wait in line.

>>16612749
not bringing the falcon i dont want to pay for his seat. any other advice?

>>16612749
This.

Don't forget to take your wife's son either.

>>16612779
File in closely to those near you so you can avoid the no singles policy.

>>16612799
Seriously.

Bribing your mom or sister to pretend to be your gf might work, but those policy enforcers might want you to make out a little. Be prepared.

I like to disassemble myself on the atomic level with heteroaxiomatic tweezers, then phase through the theater wall and find my seat. Make sure to practice on just an arm or a leg beforehand so you know how to reconstruct yourself properly afterwards.

>>16612805
take my arm apart and put it back together? im just seeing a movie ffs. do you have you any real advice?

>>16612821
Ask for a double shot from the bull when you get popcorn.

File: dickbutt.jpg (47KB, 654x654px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 654x654px

>>16612821
>take my arm apart and put it back together?
Better practice on your arm that ending up with a misplaced dick. Where do you think the dickbutt meme came from? All those pirates trying to go to the movies for the first time in a long time.

>>16612836
im not teleporting im just walking in like a normal person

>>16612830
double shot of what? or does the bull already know?

>>16612849
The bull will know.

Cinemas are a fun program, even alone. I know a lot of people think they are a waste, but I still recommend the VIP rooms if your movie is available in one. It's deliciously comfortable.

>>16612918
>It's deliciously comfortable.
Upgrading to the edible chair option was one of the best cinema decisions I've ever made.

>>16612749
>>16612779
>>16612805
>>16612821
>>16612830
>>16612836
HOLY FUCK. I kek'd so hard.
This whole conversation is gold. I don't know if OP is taking /tv/ memes seriously on purpose or not, but either way I got a good laugh. Thanks Anons.