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Anonymous
Better to have loved and lost? 2015-12-28 02:40:51 Post No. 16611371
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Better to have loved and lost? 2015-12-28 02:40:51 Post No. 16611371
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We met a few months ago, became really good friends and eventually started dating. After only a month of dating, we fell in love. Call it whatever you want, what I feel right now for her is so strong and I have no doubts about that.
In 8 months she'll be moving far away for college. For the few months we've dated, we visited each other pretty much every single day. I don't think either of us can deal with a long distance relationship, we both need a physical connection and affection.
The honeymoon phase is wearing off and now I've been thinking about our own future together. It's always been in the back of my head but I guess the harsh reality hit me now. I've got no plans for college but she does. She'll be leaving me soon and there's no way for this relationship to stay alive. I brought this up with her a few nights ago but she just broke down, told me she couldn't think about it. I think she just wants to avoid the problem for as long as possible, but I can't let that happen. I've always been the type of guy who likes to put down problems before they get too out of hand. I told her we would have a discussion about our future tomorrow. I want to bring up breaking up.
I'm crying right now, I can't be strong at a time like this. But I have to step up, I don't want to let her go guys but I can't turn my back on this relationship and pretend everything will be okay. The more time we spend together the stronger my feelings will get so when the time comes for her to leave we'll be in a bigger mess than we would be in if we broke it off early. I've spent so much time thinking about it. We either kill our relationship off now or stay together even after she leaves. The only question is which hurts less.
Fuck I don't know what to do. It hurts so much.
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>in 8 months
Nigga that's plenty of time to have a normal relationship that can end on its own. Why the fuck you worrying, there's a big chance you may not even be together in 8 months, be realistic. Just have fun now, you can think about it but if you're letting what's happening 8 months form now ruin life for you now what the fuck is the point?
Quit being so dramatic. My first serious relationship just ended last week, she was just an exchange student here for a semester. We went out for 3 months, and now she's thousands of miles away and across an ocean. Yeah it's hard but when it ends, regardless of whether its because she leaves or because you break up before that, just be happy it happened, don't be sad it's over. Quit being alone and thinking about it and just fucking hang out with her and do shit.
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>>16611401
Yeah that's something I've thought about. But on the flip side what if we are still together?
I'm confident the long distance thing won't work. Breaking up now as opposed to later is the less painful option isnt it?
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>>16611420
This was the conclusion I had come to as well with my girl, that the long distance wasn't going to be good for either of us in the long run. Yeah you could break up now but why? I mean, nothing lasts forever anyway. Think about what you're doing logically if you break up now instead of later, you're saying "I can't be with this person for more than the next 8 months, so Id rather just not spend ANY time at all with her". Doesn't that seem fucking stupid? It did to me. Yeah sure it will be less painful but either way you'll get over it, and a lot can happen in the next 8 months. Either her plans or yours can change, if it is a special enough thing to last for the rest of your lives you'll make it work, if not then so be it. But to end it now is like saying "I won't be able to have hamburgers when I move to the congo in 8 months, so I'd better get used to not having them now and depriving myself for the next 8 months instead of just giving them up when forced to."
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>>16611459
Thanks for shedding a new light on me man. I understand completely. I want to ride out the next 8 months with her, no doubt. Whatever happens will happen I guess.
I just don't want either of us to get hurt, but I guess that's just a fact of life. Really appreciated your input
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>>16611515
Glad I could help man, the silver lining about bad experiences like breakups is that you can at least try to help others going through similar shit.
Make the most of the time you have with ones you love, time is all we got. You will never regret it.
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