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Anonymous
boyfriend is catholic; I'm not. 2015-12-27 10:29:57 Post No. 16608632
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boyfriend is catholic; I'm not. 2015-12-27 10:29:57 Post No. 16608632
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Historically, religion has merely been an avenue for others to abuse me. I have nothing against religion, but fanaticism makes me extremely uncomfortable, to the point of crying even. But with matt, it doesn't seem to matter. I spent a good portion of Christmas with his family, and prior to eating we all held hands while his dad prayed. Normally this would make me extremely uncomfortable, but this time it didnt? I'm unsure whether time has merely dulled the pain inflicted on me through religion, or if I love him enough that holding his hand has such an effect. Either way, it was enough for me to, at the end of the day as I was leaving to my apartment, tell him that I love him. This confession was met with all the warmth and acceptance, but he said that he "needs a little longer to say the same". Yet I have never felt so comforted.
It's been on my mind for a while though how a relationship might work between a Catholic and an atheist. I don't want to damage his faith; it is an important part of him and I do not want to change him. But I wonder how I might go about understanding him as a Catholic. Do I just ask his priest? Would that be too invasive?
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A relationship like this can work perfectly, just give him his space and let him believe what he wants to believe.
As for the abuse in your past, there are people who are very loving and kind and find religion as a support to be like that even in hard times. There are others who use religion to justify their atrocities and solidify their power over others. Try not to judge people solely on whether they are religious or not.
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>>16608632
Just let that part of him go and look past it. If he cares about you, he'll look past the fact that you're an atheist and won't try to change that.
As for "damaging his faith", that doesn't happen accidentally. You have to purposely say stuff to fuck with him. Anything else that makes him doubt is due to him taking a step outside his faith to view things, or that he doesn't strongly believe in it to begin with. This can be good or bad depending on your perspective. Either way, it's just another part of growing and you can't just treat it like you're avoiding stepping on nails.
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>>16608632
The thing with religion is, if you're not too much of a fanatic about it then anyone can get along with anyone else. If you are flexible and he is flexible, you're good. Unfortunately, religion can be used as justification for all kinds of horrible shit done to other people. The truly frightening thing is, it can get good people to do terrible things, because they might legitimately think they are helping them in the long run by hurting them in the short term.
The important questions you need to consider are:
How religious is he? Is he more evangelical, or closer to the "twice a year christian"?
How much of an atheist are you? Are you relapsing from a bad experience with religion, and if god shows you the light in the future will you convert back? Or, are you so logically minded that nothing short of something supernatural could convince you of god's existence?
Are you thinking about having kids? How will you/him want your kids raised?
How does he feel about abortions, if you were to get pregnant against your wishes and wanted it terminated?
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