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how to deal with liars relationship wise?
my bf always lies about stupid shit and I always find out eventually but when I confront him it always turns into a huge argument because he gets super defensive.It got to a point where I cant trust him with anything he says and I become a grumpy passive agressive cunt.It annoys me because I am not that person and his lies and my grump have obviously taken a toll on our relationship.How would you deal? I really dont want to break up
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I think you know the answer best, break up with him.
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>>16594096
We've been dating for 2 years now and I really do love him .so its not that easy.It doesnt help that the lies are pure rubbish ,like something that he thought would bother me,but really the only thing that bothers me is the lie itself
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I've had a compulsive liar boyfriend for 1,5 y who i discovered was cheating on me (liars do this kinda stuff) and lied about stupid stuff and not so stupid stuff and did the same as urs. I was so in love i didnt break up with him, HE broke with me because he fell in love with someone who fucked with. The break up was painfull for me but in the end was the best thing it could happen and I am very happy he broke up with me because i was so stupid to not do it by myself because i didnt want to be alone, but after that i found a TRUE boyfriend who REALLY loves me and supports me unlike the other. There are a lot of better guys out there, you just can't find them because you are linked to an asshole. If you don't want to be alone start searching before break up and when you find someone break up because its hard to do it if you are alone. Good luck.
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>>16594112
Just walk the fuck away. before you find a condom that hasn't been up your own cunt. Bottom line.
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>>16594132
I forgot to mention that even if he tells you he will change, he WON'T, because for a change he would need to go to a psychologist twice a week and really want to change which is not the case and if u tell him to do it maybe he will lie about it and tell yoy he is seeing a psychologist WHEN HE'S NOT, my ex was so liar he lied about his grandma's death just for me to feel bad about him and take care and i believed that for months, he was constantly lying about being at home when he was at partys fukin with people and lir about everything basically dont let this happen to you, i had a lot of issues with trust on my actual boyfriend just because the other one was this way.
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Is it weird that I cant really just break up with him? I really believe him when he says that he loves me and dont think hes cheating,and i know it sounds like im being delusional but i cant explain it? Is there really noone who knows of a case where a liar stops lying?
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>>16594165
If he has more than 16yold probably will lie always. You have to think if you want to deal with this all your life. He won't stop lying for you, he will promise you he will but he won't. No solution found.
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>>16594165
If you decide to not break up, when he breaks up with you remember that some anon here told you the truth, unlike other people who give you hope on change. people can't be changed in a good way if they don't want to. He likes lying and will always lie. If you continue with him you will be the desperate poor woman/man who has a obsesive boyfriend.
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You talk with each other and say you both need to change how you handle things.
I had this talk. You don't just tell someone they're being too defensive. That doesn't make them stop, that makes them scramble to hide that they're defensive.

Sometimes you need to give people space to cool off. Sometimes you need to realize other people make mistakes and have their own emotions. Otherwise it's a vicious cycle where lying destroys trust, but all the truth in the world can't fix it. Because trust takes part logic and part faith.

Logic tells you leave, and faith tells you to stay. We think we're so different from animals because we can communicate with each other. But most of us know if an animal is super defensive we should back the fuck off if we don't want to fight. Try telling him you want to understand WHY he's defensive. It's not so much about him lying to you, it's feeling like he doesn't trust you. Trust works both ways, you can't feel complete trust in someone if you're sure they don't completely trust you.
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>>16594179
He's 20
I guess its easier for people who have been in my situation to say "'just end it",but there was probably a time when u had feelings for your ex.Im still there.i think im gonna have to wait it out and see for myself,sorry to have wasted your time
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>>16594207
thanks..All I've been getting is that I should break up,this advice was refreshing.I want to believe our relationship can get better.and not just listen to stories of horrific endings.
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>>16594220
It doesn't make it easier or go away. There is some truth in that at some point you need to decide if you're the only one putting in effort. No one can make that judgement for you, and that's why it's easier to say "just break up." Because if you can give that advice, you can feel justified in acting the same way. That if you aren't absolutely certain about someone or something you should just give up. That keeps people from even trying.

You might not be trying to trust him, he might not be trying to trust you. There may always be some level of uncertainty in your relationship. You can either accept you will never truly know another person to your personal satisfaction and give up on doing so, or you can accept it but still put forth your best effort.

Everyone is simple. They want to trust someone and to feel trusted, without having to risk being hurt. You can't have both. If you trust someone they WILL hurt you, whether inadvertently or not. If you lie to someone who trusts you, it WILL hurt them too. Try to keep calm. It's okay if you aren't sometimes, but it's okay if he isn't either.
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>>16594272
eh,I hope it gets better,Thank you anon for your help,you made a stranger feel slightly less miserable today :3
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You make each other unhappy. Your only reason for staying in the relationship is because you want the status of being in a relationship, which is the most pathetic reason of all. Just walk away and get sobyou can both get on with your lives. Why is this so difficult to comprehend?
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>>16594315
I am most definately not in it for the status,I love this person,which is why its difficult to leave.I have no idea what point you were trying to make,except russle someones jimmies
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>>16594322
This is the very picture of denial
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>>16594326
denial would be u telling ur dad that ur not a faggot lel
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>>16594336
O yah? I m rubber u r glue. Wat u say bounce off me and stick 2 u
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>>16594341
>rubber and glue
So denial and projection. If you're rubber, you're the one who is both.
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>>16594341
ur big poopoo head *pooooop*
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>>16594354
Hahaha y u say those things about itself?!?!
Thread posts: 22
Thread images: 1


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